Broadcast Live from Hogwarts
by marauders4u
Summary: Marauders read and consider the reviewers question that they would ask James, Peter, Sirius and Remus if given the opportunity.
1. Chapter 1

'I own all the mistakes. It makes the story mine. If they aren't there, this isn't my story.' – a fanfiction writer placed that upon their heading. I cannot remember who it was but it stuck with me. I like it. I'm barrowing it but I am not claiming it.

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Broadcast From Hogwarts

'Dear Readers,' Remus covered his mouth as he cleared his voice, all out of habit of politeness before glancing back at his transcript. Just because one was forced into being an animal a few times each year did not mean one should toss manners out the bloody door.

'Fear us for we shall rip out…w-what? Why would I-I…' Remus read the lines once again, flipping page after page. 'Who wrote my lines? I'd never say this…stuff! It's absurd! It's childish! It's not even clever!'

'It's just to get attention.' James explained with a quick glance over Remus' shoulder to look at the script he had written. It was simple to do this because James was sitting down next to Remus at his own desk that they placed together, which all was done in an empty class. 'I personally see nothing wrong with it at all.'

'Oh just get on with it all ready.' Sirius, who could turn into an animal at will, had no problems throwing manners out the windows. In fact, he would throw a lot more out the window if he was able to lift his mother in the first place.

Sirius also sat next to Remus, just on the opposite side and though Sirius wouldn't have a problem sitting on James' lap, Lily might if Lily would happen to walk through the closed door…but she won't. Still, James didn't want to take any chances of her getting the wrong impression, which she wouldn't, so there for Sirius had to sit in the empty chair on the other side of Remus…or sit beside Peter.

'This is preposterous!' Remus was shaking his head in disbelief of what his fellow marauders jotted down for him. He crumpled his script into a ball before tossing over his shoulder. With an afterthought, he used his wand to guide the crumple script into its proper place, the trash. 'It sounds if I am trying to take over the world!'

Only the dark half of the world.' Peter smiled in a very toothy way that did in every way resemble a rodent.

Since some people have no sense of capturing their own imagination and must know every detail….we shall just say that Pete sat next to James…who sat next to Remus, who just so purposely happen to be sitting next to Sirius. Have you got the idea of how they were sitting? The sitting arrangements are sometimes important so I'd like to make sure everyone is on the same page. Good. Though it really isn't all that important in this story.

'Yeah the flesh eating slugs tend to harbor the dark half of the world.' James shuddered with thought and a bit of loathness. 'Slimy buggers if you ask me. I don't care what a thing might crave for its nourishment, that is their business but I don't believe they should leave traces of their business in my pathway.'

'Slugs.' Peter shook his head. 'Of all the things to be scared of and you pick slugs.'

'I'm not scared of slugs.' James frowned. 'Well perhaps a bit. Face it, they aren't very lovely um…whatever they are.'

'Say it however you want to say it, Remus. Say it your way. Just get on with it!' Sirius threw a hand in the air in indicate he was letting the topic drop. 'But if you don't see a whole lot of people following along, remember to blunt that blame on the correct Marauder.'

Peter leaned over his desk to see past James, 'I think he means you this time, Moony.'

'Gee, thanks Pete.' Remus gave a mental eye roll. 'I'd never figure that one on my own.'

'Welcome.' Peter settled back into his chair with a satisfied smile on his face. It was always nice to help another Marauder out and Pete didn't get that chance often.

'On with the broadcasting!' James cued into the conversation. 'Here is the deal. We have opened a special broadcasting that allows us to speak about any topic that our audience wishes to hear our opinions about. Whether that be a study subject like Quidditch…'

'Like witches.' Sirius put in quite nicely. 'Or the fine muggle ladies with their motorbikes.'

'Or if we really exist in our world…or if there is a world to exist in. I think it's pretty obvious that you cannot exist if there is no place to exist.' Remus added.

'Or if the stair case only moves because I'm on it.' Peter let his eyes go all squintish, which allowed them to become more watery than normal. 'I think it's out to get me.'

'We are a brilliant lot!' Sirius grinned with satisfactory.

'Each broadcast we, the Awesome James Potter and the other Marauders who aren't as awesome but still somewhat…' James started to explain.

'James!' A chorus sounded around him.

'As I was saying, we will review questions or theories…'James continued.

'Or love advice from moi.' Sirius added moderately attractively.

'And discuss them while all you have to do is ask and tune into our weekly broadcast. Isn't that exciting?' James plastered on a broad smile, 'I'm hearing chirping sounds. I don't think anyone is listening.'

'Probably because you didn't mention that I am to be starring in the broadcast.' Sirius copied James' smile, though it was a bit unnerving with that mischievous glint in his eyes. 'Next time, we should find something that has recorded clapping.'

'Indeed. Oh! Wait, we could get Pete to do it! He's getting better at that hand and feet clapping thing.' James gave Peter a thumb up.

Peter nodded vigorously; yes he would clap for them.

Remus was fighting a bit of battle of will. Should he bang his head against the desk or suffer through this new phase James and Sirius schemed up during long hours of inhaling blubberpussin'snoot from the cauldrons they were to be cleaning. Either way a headache was bound to show up.

'It shall be a challenge for us, Sirius is right in that but again, it need not to be about him. It can be a question or we have a discussion about anyone within this wonderful, magical place of….' Remus' mouth was open to continue but as always, someone had to add something of their own to his speech.

'Potterland!' And so it was James who did the clever adding.

Naturally, the addition to his speech was never the correct expressions one would logically say.

'Potterland? No, no I don't think so.' Sirius shook his head in disagreement. 'That makes all of it sound a bit like an amusement park of port-a-potties.'

Peter, being oh very clever, hid his giggles behind his hand even though it echoed in the nearly empty classroom. 'Moaning Myrtle would like that!'

Remus quickly took back the control of the conversation, 'So what happens is that I…er, I mean we, read all the questions forward to us and within a week, hopefully, the Marauders will give you the answer.'

'Naturally.' Sirius agreed with a deep sigh. 'I feel as though we are doing something good for our community with this broadcast.'

' Yes, good stuff for the soul and all but there are other reasons as well.' James glanced at Remus. 'Am I right?'

'I suppose this is more like entertainment or perhaps for fun. Like a pleasant pastime more than a remedy for sour souls.' Remus suggested.

'Oh! Oh!' Peter raised his hand and started waving it quite frantically that James had to dunk his head or be swatted. 'Or just 'cause they have nothin' better to do?'

'Now who is being posteriors!' Sirius gruffed. 'There is always something better to do.'

'Posteriors means buttocks.' James stage whispered for Sirius benefit. 'I'm not all together clear on why butts would have tocks but…'

Sirius glared quietly.

'Just saying…' James tapped his finger on the desk.

Sirius continued to glare; he's quite good at it with his natural dark looks and piercing grey eyes.

'What!?' James holds his hands in that 'what now' gesture we all are guilty of doing, as it sums up everything you don't understand.

'Okay so let me get this straight. If I have a question that I'd like to discuss in our weekly broadcast, I just send them to you?' Peter asked.

'Correct.' Remus confirmed politely. 'But it doesn't need to be a question. It could be something like if a theory like if gravity exists…which it does.'

'And I summit it….how?' Peter scrunch up his face.

'Why Peter, those are all very good questions.' James said in a very serious manner. 'I'm glad you asked.'

'Thanks. I read them just as you wrote them down.' Peter showed him the script.

'And a job done well!' James gave him a jolly slap on the back.

'You could leave it in the review or if you want it to remain confidential you are welcome to pm us by finding our contact information on our profile page. Just include a brief message so we know what you are about.' Remus gave his head a bit of a nod, probably because of the headache.

'A good hello chat is welcome as well.' James added. 'Comments on my wonderful Quidditch are understandable reasons for sending us a message as well.'

'I think a week is well enough for another broadcasting meeting. Unless detention happens to take a week from us.' Remus put the feather end a quill between his lips, trying to recall if he had missed anything.

'Don't.' James took the quill from Remus, brushing the Remus saliva off with the help of Peter's sleeve. 'It's me that you borrowed this quill from.'

'I would like to take a moment to address the fine ladies out there. If you are of my age or an older cougar kind of doll, I may need your Owling Address as well to make the whole connection more…interesting.' Sirius gave a most charming smile and a wink, which no one but the Marauders could actually see.

Peter started to wink as well, just for practice. It made him look a bit irrational…but perhaps a good hearted person shall pity him and give him some eye drops, who knows where things may lead to after that?

'No. No Owling Addresses! It is against the rules for one thing and this isn't a dating service.' Remus glared at Sirius. 'Why do you always make this a girl catching thing?'

'The most fetching worm gets the bird, everyone knows that.' Sirius shrugged his broad shoulders.

Remus put his face in his hands, 'Seriously? You do know that birds that catch worms usually eat them up alive.'

'Yeah.' Sirius smile broaden. 'Good times ahead! That's what I'm talking about!' He raised his hand for a 'high five' but Remus just blinked, leaving Sirius with his hand in the air.

'No Owling Addresses will be exchanged whatsoever!' Remus felt the need to reinstate. 'It is our goal to have a list of questions in our next update.'

'At the very least two questions!' Sirius held up two fingers and gave an impish smile. 'Because one just isn't any fun.'

James added. 'Preferably about me.'

'What if I ask a question that you don't know the answer?' Peter asked.

'Yeah, that's not going to happen with you.' Sirius shook his head.

'Padfoot!' Remus duck to allow James the room to head smack his friend. 'I told you before don't insult the scapegoat!'

'Sorry mate, I can't seem to help myself.' Sirius did his best to look apologetic but as we all know, he doesn't master that expression until later in life. 'It's my personality. Blame my parents.'

'We will do our best to answer the question to our abilities. There are probably questions that we will conquer answers up but it is all for fun.' Remus shrugged. 'You don't get anything other than our attention.'

'And I'm pretty sure my attention span isn't very long at all.' James held up his fingers to indicate an inch more or less. 'So expect less and you might get more.'

'We are talking about your focus meter, right?' Sirius asked lifting up a brow.

'Aren't you a clever bloke?' James mocked.

'Um…guys?' Peter pointed to Remus who started to bang his forehead against his desk.

'Save his brain!' Sirius cried. 'We may need it for further scheming!'

James quickly took off his robe and placed it between the desk and Remus' head to cushion the impact. 'Sorry folks. He does that from time to time. We just need a moment to…immobilize him. Peter if you would please…'

Peter flashed open his robes to hide the spell James and Sirius was about to produce but it's okay, you don't have to cover our eyes. From past experience, Peter realized wearing clothing under the robe is a smart idea.

'Thank you Pete.' James gave him a pat on the shoulder, an indication that he may rerobe himself.

Remus was slumped on the desk, as a student who fell asleep through lessons. A bit of drool was sliding out of his slacked mouth and onto James' robe.

'It seems we shall be calling this a day.' James looked at the other two vigilant marauders.

Sirius nodded his head with approval. 'I suspect as much but before we go we would like to thank everyone for tuning in.'

Don't forget to ask questions!' Peter smiled brightly.

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A/N: Nutshell.

If you would like to ask Marauders something, be my guest and I'll make sure they will answer it to the best of m-er, their ability.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I want to this once a week but I thought I was only going to get maybe three questions. I have a bit of time, so I'll do what I can today. This still doesn't take away the once a week thing though. Don't mind the mistakes, I won't.

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'Testing. Testing. One. Two. Three. Testing.' Peter tapped on his non-working microphone as the other three stared uninterested.

'Pete.' James draped an arm around the smaller boy's shoulder. 'I will admit that it was slightly half amusing the first time you did that whole testing thing.'

Peter grinned wider as he bent his head towards the microphone once more to repeat the testing. Sirius groaned, Remus shuffled the papers about and James placed a hand over Peter's microphone.

'It isn't even slightly amusing when you do it sixteen times in the past five minutes.' James gave him a stern look. 'No more or you'll be sleeping in the Slithering's room this night.'

'B-but t-they scare me.' Peter pouted. 'And they call me fat little girly boy.'

'You are a fat little girly boy.' James patted his shoulder. 'We are just amazing friends that we can see past all your weaknesses just like Remus being a perfect. Or Sirius being a broom closest- holic, we see past those things. Annoying repetitive behavior, we will not be looking past.'

'Or James being a stalker.' Sirius tipped in, not liking his faults flaunted in the open.

'It's not stalking. It's not taking no for a final answer.' James added.

Remus shuffled his letters once more a bit more noisily then necessary in order to get the attention of his three friends. 'We have things to discuss. Questions were sent yesterday and I would like to get a head start on these in case more happen to come into our hands. First of I wish to welcome to those who are just tuning in to our broadcast tonight. '

'You're a lucky lot.' Sirius added.

'Let me see what we got.' James grabbed the small stack from Remus, shuffling them as he glanced over them. 'Peter why don't we start with questions directed to you?'

'Um…I rather not go first.' Peter squirmed in his seat. 'I hate going first.'

'If you go first, then you won't have to go last.' James reminded him. 'Besides these aren't difficult questions. First question is from directed to you is from the Famousone – not me, the other one. Well it isn't really a question as more a statement. Something about making an appointment to get your teeth fixed.'

'I like his teeth.' Sirius bawled. 'They give him character!'

'Agree.' James added. 'I grin every time he nibbles at carrots.'

'Not only that, there is our dental plan to think about and the cost of getting teeth fixed.' Remus pointed out.

'I don't have a dental plan and my parents aren't making a lot of money right now. 'Peter fiddled with his quill. 'The recession kind of put the family back. What with all the school supplies and my growth spurt I had to get new robes.'

'You had a growth spurt?' Sirius asked, his eyes traveling up and down the seated Peter.

'Sure. Yeah about a month before school started I shot up three inches.' Peter nodded his head, very proud of the fact.

'Next question for Pete is…' Remus grabbed the papers from James. 'Oh I like this one.'

'That means it's going to be hard.' Sirius whispered loud enough for everyone to hear. 'Best if you held James' hand, Pete my old boy.'

Peter reached for James' hand quickly, while he closed his eyes tightly as if expecting pain.

'He was being sarcastic, Peter.' James shook his hand loose. 'I told you not to listen to Sirius.'

'Don't be telling the boy that, Jamesy.' Sirius shook a finger at his best friend. 'What if Hogwarts were on fire during the night and I bravely fight the flares of flames to wake him from his slumber. Why, he won't believe me!'

James turned in his seat in order to stare at Peter. 'If Sirius tells you there is a fire, run like hell because he probably started it. Other than that, ask me or Remus before you head Sirius' advice.'

'Peter this question is from Slugston…' Remus started.

'No doubt a fan of old Sluggy.' Sirius muttered.

'The question is what advice would you give a new born baby?' Remus smiled brightly. 'A new born child is uncorrupted mind. An innocent of all evil in the world.'

'Oh. Um…what to say.' Peter squished his lips around as he thought. 'I think my advice would be that no matter how you look at the world, different things happen that will always change your perceptive.'

'Good answer.' James smiled proudly.

'Did you tell him the answer?' Remus stared sharply at James.

'No. Sometimes Peter has good answers. I will admit that it is rare but does happen.' James did a cross the heart and pointed to his eye. When Remus turned back to the papers, James stuck out his tongue. 'I saw that!'

'Let me ask Peter the next question.' Sirius took the papers from Remus' hand. 'Okay, Peter. You ready?'

'No.' Peter shook his head. 'Don't know why people keep asking me that either.'

'Mary Gold, a lovely female name, would like to know if you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?' Sirius set the papers and smiled over at Peter. 'Take as much time as you need but remember this is a time limit on this show.'

'It's a good question.' Remus added.

'It's too hard for him.' James huffed. He is quite protective of his pet.

'It's a yes or no question, James.' Sirius huffed back, a bit annoyed with his best friend's protective barrier over someone else other than him.

'No.' Peter said firmly. 'I have never imagined a world with no hypothetical situation as I never imagined a world with hypothetical questions.'

'I respect that.' Remus nodded his approval. 'Fair answer, indeed.'

'That's all the questions for Peter.' Sirius smiled brightly at Remus. 'You turn.'

'Throw them at me.' Remus showed signs of assurance.

'Will you marry me?' Sirius asked with a dead pan face.

'W-what?' Remus' eyes grew larger then Peter's teeth. 'I-I don't fancy you! You know that I-I like g-girls!'

James cracked up laughing and naturally Peter followed suit.

'Not me but I am flattered you would think of me first.' Sirius winked devilishly at Remus. 'The question was asked by The Famousone.'

'The other famous one, not me.' James added.

'No. I am afraid that I cannot comment in a long relationship at this time.' Remus blushed brightly.

'But a short trip to the broom closet is always optional.' James nudged Remus in the arm.

'Okay so he isn't the marrying type at this time. Next question is from FredNeverDied. Are "all things" the same as "everything" or does all things include only tangible objects? And on what plane do intangible things exist?' Sirius slapped down the paper. 'Obviously this person has nothing better to do then think about whether things exist and on what level.'

'Shut it.' Remus chilled Sirius. 'It's a question that allows one to think. I like these challenged questions. All things are indeed the same as everything for every and all when dealing with such things are the same words turned about. Whether it be tangible or intangible a thing is a thing. For where they are placed I think intangible or something you cannot grasp still makes it very much real. To say a person has a dream, that dream is considered to be untouchable. You cannot reach out and physically grasp it in your hands.'

'Unless it becomes one of those adolescent dreams, then there are physical consequences.' Sirius gave Peter a smirk. 'Like shoving the sheets under the bed.'

'As I was saying a dream cannot be physically held. But one can't help ponder that if that dreams becomes solid, forming in a picture or preforming in a stage, it is no longer intangible but would it not be the same intangible dream and would it not hold the same place it held once before?'

'Nap time over.' James took the paper from Sirius. 'Still directed to Remus. Slugston would like to know if you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?'

'Yes. I see it many times.' Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. 'Every time James and Sirius thinks of a prank I see insanity in it. However, though still insanity exists in their scheme, the outcome is rather creative.'

'I respect that.' Sirius approved.

'I find that touching.' James reached out to hug Remus. 'I love you too.'

'I got the next question.' Peter reached for the papers. 'Remus this question is from um…James how do you say that name?' Peter pointed to the paper.

'Mary Gold.' James blinked at him. 'Just the way it sounds, Pete.'

'Oh, right.' Peter nodded his head. 'Remus this question is from Mary Gold and she would like to know if you could ask one person one questions and get a completely honest answer who would it be and what would you ask?'

'Ah…' Remus glanced to his right where Sirius sat with a smile. He glanced to his other right where James also was smiling and blinking his eyelashes rapidly. He glanced back to Sirius who made a halo swirl around his head. He looked back to James who held his hands in a prayer. 'No doubt in my mind that if I had a question I needed an honest answer to, I would ask Professor Minerva McGonagall. What question I would ask, I'm not right sure.'

James glared at Remus as he took the pages from Peter's hand. 'Next question. Looks like all questions directed to Remus are done so let us move on to Sirius. Mate, Slugston would like to know at what time in your recent past you have felt most passionate and alive.'

Sirius barked out a laugh. 'Twenty minutes ago in the broom closet with Melody. I was very passionate and very much alive!'

James gave him thumbs up approval.

'Does she stuff her shirt?' Peter inquired. 'Mike from Raven says she's stuffed.'

'This isn't that kind of broadcast!' Remus pointed out. 'Next question…' He and James battled over the papers for a moment before James let him have them. 'Mary Gold hooted at you. I told you no exchange of Owling Addresses.'

'If the bird wants to hoot, let her.' Sirius squared his shoulders. 'I'm hootable after all.'

'Mary Gold's question is if you could take one thing away from the world, what would it be?' Remus continued.

'Slugs.' James spoke quickly.

'Tis my question, James.' Sirius reminded him. 'I think the one thing I would take away is um…power. If everyone was equal I don't think there would be as much conflict in the world.'

'Impressive.' Remus nodded.

'But slugs were a better answer.' James muttered.

'My turn.' Peter held out his hands for the papers. 'Sirius, The Famousone…'

'Not me, the imposter.' James once again reminded the group.

'Right, the imposter posing as the famousone would like you to do it/he/or she a favor and, if at any time in the future someone, perhaps a certain Professor Dumbledore, tells you to stay in the house, do it. Even if it means leaving the life of someone you love (that's right, Sirius. Love) in someone else's completely capable hands.'

'Bloody hell, what kind of advice is that?' Sirius growled. 'Stay in the house? Like I'm a common dog and must stay if commanded? Oh, I think not. It goes against my rebellious nature.'

'Right.' James took the papers from Peter. 'Another question. This isn't directed at you but it's about love so we'll let you take it off our hands. The question is from Gertie and she has been going out with a boy for two weeks and still the boy hasn't spoken about marriage. She loves him. He loves her. Do you think the boy is just going out with her to get what he can get?'

'Hmmm…well that would depend if he is getting what I think he is getting from Ms. Gertie. My answer would be yes.' Sirius tapped his finger on the desk. 'He is only going out with you, Gertie for that reason and you should move on and he should run away quickly because two weeks and a girl is begging to get married means she probably gave away what he's getting to someone else and a new face will be showing up in the world in seven months.'

Remus cleared his throat. 'Next question. From FredNeverDied. It appears he/she is having home /she hates his/her parents and would like to know if he/she should rebel, rebel in moderation, or try to keep a roof over my head for as long as possible?'

'I think that this is a serious problem and not enough information to go on.' Sirius rubbed his chin. 'If your hatred may lead to murdering your parents, it would be wise to see if that is legal in the place you dwell. If it is illegal, yes then you probably should leave. However if you have no place to go and murdering them may give you shelter through a prison then stay and rebel. How much to rebel depends on the violence of your parents. If they are push-overs, rebel your little heart out. If not, only rebel what blow you can take. I was lucky enough to have an adoptive family to move in with.'

'Telling ya, you were stolen at birth.' James reminded him. 'We are twins….just born many months apart.'

'Okay I think I got all questions directed to you, Sirius. If I missed one I'm sure the person will ask again but I apology in advice.' Remus shuffled through the pages, skimming over them to confirm his statement.

'That's very gentlemen of you.' Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Always the perfect.'

'Now, now.' James made a lower hand gesture. 'We don't wish to offend my fans.'

'Our fans.' Peter put in.

'If thinking that makes you happy.' James shrugged.

'Alright, James' turn.' Remus turned in his seat to face James.

'Save the best for last, eh?' James nodded in approval.

'First question is from The Famousone…weknowitsnotyouitstheotheron esodon'tsayit!' Remus glared at James'. 'Famousone says If you were to say, have a child that is the only person able to fulfill a certain prophecy, and a certain Dark Lord wanted to kill him but instead killed you, would you put it in your will to leave said child to anyone? If so, you should probably leave him to someone other than the mother's idiot sister and her fatty husband... Just saying. :)'

'Please, as if I will ever die?' James swatted the question away. He is very vocal with his hand…his mouth and his whole body if need to be. 'I will live forever if not in person, in soul.'

'I got your back!' Sirius patted James' back a bit roughly but that's how boys like it.

'Me too.' Peter agreed. 'Nothing can touch you when we are looking out for you.'

'We are the Marauders after all.' Remus agreed.

'I'm touched. I think I'm going to weep.' James mocked a tear drop. 'Putting all that girly thing aside I would have to say that I probably will leave my child with my adoring wife to care for and ask Sirius to stay out of her bed while I'm dead. I'm okay if Remus jumps in but Sirius is too hard on the birds. As for the sister of the mother or the fatty husband of the sister of the mother, I have no idea what you are speaking about. Peter doesn't have a sister.'

'I'm not fat!' Peter cried. 'I'm voluptuous.'

'My turn to quiz James.' Sirius took the pages from Remus. 'This is from FredNeverDies. Freddie would like to know what do guys (or just you) look for in a woman. I think it's safe to say that Freddie is a girl or wouldn't ask a guy this question.'

'Well, Freddie.' James rumbled a hand through his hair. 'Honestly I don't know. I don't know anyone that searches for stuff inside a woman. I guess the obvious thing. You know, brains and a good heart. Perhaps some lungs and intestines are good to find. Oh and those reproductive organs should be found. Um…there is supposed to be a lot of blood in the body as well. Spleen, I've heard that can be found inside a woman.'

'Um, Jamesy.' Sirius spoke softly as if he was speaking to a child. 'You misunderstood the question. Freddie would like to know what personality a woman may have that attracts men or really, just you.'

'Oh. Well why don't they say that?' James looked over at Peter who shrugged his shoulders. 'For me, I like a girl like Lily. Well, I just like Lily so if you're not Lily you don't have a chance. Though I might do some practice snogging in the hall just to make Lily realize she is in love with me, which might only be provoked if she is jealous. Lily is amazing. She is intelligent. She's a bit of a hypocrite as well but that just keeps my mind sharp. I think she also has a split personality because one moment everything is right as rain and then it's a blizzard but I'm up for the challenge.'

'Best you then me, mate.' Sirius gave James a concern look.

'My turn.' Peter tried to take the papers from Sirius but the taller boy held them out of his reach. 'Where's that growth spurt now, huh?'

'Sirius, give Peter a turn.' Remus rubbed his temples.

'Baby.' Sirius handed Peter the pages.

'This question is from Slugston. It says, Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?'

'No!' James said rather quickly, causing Remus to raise his brows. James held his hands in the air. 'My hands were on the table the whole time!'

'Next questions.' Remus quickly took the questions from Peter. 'James this is from Mary Gold and she would like to know if a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?'

'Does she not know the English Language?' James held his hands up in disbelieve. 'If the world is spelled wrong in the dictionary then it has a new rule that everyone must follow to make it correct. It's the reason there is so many words in the dictionary in the first place. Bloody blokes don't want to own up to their mistakes, now everyone must learn new grammar rules to make their mistake not a mistake.'

'Good answer!' Sirius agreed.

'Yeah, James.' Peter always most agreeable.

'Okay that's it with question directed at one of us now for questions directed for all of us.' Remus cleared his throat for more authority.

'Just get a drink.' James muttered.

'I'll read the questions.' Sirius took the pages.

'No, I believe it is my turn.' James took them from Sirius.

'How about if I…' Peter reached for the pages. 'Ow! James bit me again!'

'Mine!' James turned his back on Peter. 'Questions from Serenity are would you rather be rich or would you rather be healthy. Well Sirius and I are both and Pete is healthy so let us give Remus this question since you are neither. Which would it be?'

'Healthy, no doubt about it. Money isn't any fun if you cannot enjoy it while if you are healthy you can atleast get a job and live a normal life.' Remus replied easily.

'Do you need a hug?' James held his arms out.

'No.' Remus gave James the usually you are strange look.

'Then we shall move to the next question by Serenity who wants to know what we enjoy doing the most while we are alone.' James passed the pages to Sirius. 'I for one enjoy waxing my broom stick.'

'And I enjoy waxing my broom stick which isn't what James is referring too.' Sirius grinned at the group.

'You…um do that a lot when you are alone?' James asked.

'I like reading.' Remus added quickly. 'How about you, Pete. What do you like to do alone?'

'Sleep.' Peter nodded his head in an obvious manner. 'I like to sleep alone.'

'Best to be used to it.' Sirius snorted.

'What's the next question, Sirius?' Remus asked.

'Well I'm glad you asked, Remus because the next question is from Vinnie Lootin who believes he found the cave to a Sasquatch and would like to know how to catch him.' Sirius looked at the group. 'Any ideas?'

'Just invite Hagrid in for a spot of tea.' James shrugged as it was a no brainer. 'Perhaps a bit of scones as well.'

'Next question, I'll keep doing the questions if you boys don't object?' Sirius looked over at his friends.

'Not after declaring what you do on your spare time.' Remus waved him away. 'Keep the pages.'

'Thank you.' Sirius went on. 'This question is from Me…well not me but someone who claims to be me. Well, this Me person would like to know if we read fanfiction and if so, what type?'

'Well I like short ones.' Peter replied. 'Nothing that involves a lot of time.'

'I like Mean St's fanfiction. They are all about me.' James smiled cheeky.

'I'm for Serenity's story the Wolf. That was an amazing story!' Remus declared. 'Never read anything like it.'

'I'm too busy to read much but when I get the chance I like to read stories about myself hexing Snape.' Sirius claimed.

'Can't blame you, mate.' James agreed. 'You are almost as awesome as me.'

'Thanks James. That means a lot coming from you.' Sirius spoke with sincerity.

'That looks to be it for the questions.' Remus looked over the pages Sirius held. 'We give our thanks to everyone tuning into our show today. We hope to see you in the next week for our next broadcast.'

'Keep those questions coming.' Peter voiced. 'Keep them easy for me!'

'For those that are interested, you can tune into my late night broadcast when I talk about my broom and Quidditch.' James informed the listeners.

'Oi, before we part ways we have a shout out request.' Sirius glanced down at his shout out page. 'Just two. James Potter would like to give Lily Evan a shout and declaration of his adoring wishes that Remus said we shouldn't put on the air.'

'Love you Evans!' James shouted.

'James would also like to give FredNeverDied a shout out.' Remus rolled his eyes.

'Next Quidditch game, we are taking you Ravens DOWN!' James stood up to shout this.

'And Elladora Rosier would like to give Regulus Black a shout out because she saw the bratty baby crying in a corner and hadn't the tissue to rub his nose dry at the time.'


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Though I don't have a lot of questions, it would make things mildly but more agreeable for me if all questions are asked on the newest chapter review. Example, this is chapter three – therefore I am requesting everyone try to ask their question on chapter three review page. Or Pm is fine if you don't wish it to be seen. Tis easier to check and go this way. Thanks a million and one._

* * *

'What a glorious evening we are having tonight. There is a new moon out there , it adds mystery and seduction in our cloak of darkness.' Sirius whisper huskily into the microphone. 'Imagine roaming the castle's halls in a night when even shadows are in their slumber. You are lost in the darkness of the nightfall, your sight has deceased for the evening. You only have your other senses to guide you through the blackness. Your nose pick up the smell of fire brewing in their places. You feel the dampness of the air softly brushing your skin. A midnight snack of satin chocolate, the very finest, still lingers on your tongue like a lover's kiss. You hear steps in the same hall you are destined. Is there someone before you? You strain to see past the darkness, eager to spot something familiar. You see nothing. You look behind you, the night is watching you. The steps are echoing, echoing, echoing. You panic, your illusions run astray. Your chest is heaving with fright. You seek a place to hide before the steps find you. You stumble along the hall, reaching out blindly until your fingers latch against the knob of a closet. Without a moment of hesitation you pull the door open and stumble through its door, closing it softly after you. You place your ear against the door, the steps you heard move on, the echo grows quiet. You breathe a sigh of relief as you lean back into my waiting arms…'

'I don't want to hear the rest.' Remus hides his face in his hands in frustration. 'This isn't Sirius' Seduction Hour.'

'It isn't?' Sirius turns to James to confirm this new fact.

'No, mate. You gone and got your days and nights mixed up again.' James gave Sirius his trade mark grin. 'No harm done. That was just a sneak peek on what my fans…'

'Our fans…' Peter corrected James.

'Will be hearing tonight when they do turn into Sirius Seduction Hour, right after my Broom and Zoom Hour.' James gave Peter an evil eye glare. Peter shrank in his chair.

'This is question and answer hour.' Remus collected his papers in order, again. 'Who wants to go first?'

'Oh!' James sat up in his chair. 'Me! I want to go first! Pick me this time!' I've been good all day!'

'Let the boy go first, Moony.' Sirius grinned at James' childish behavior.

'Yes!' James punched the air before turning to Peter, pointing at the boy. 'In your face!'

'I-I didn't want to go first.' Peter blinked at him with a confused daze.

'Oh. Well that takes the fun out of winning.' James sat back on his chair. 'Proceed.'

'Oookay.' Remus looked over at the questions. 'Oh, I like this one!'

'I hate when you say that.' James puffed his cheeks then breathed out. 'Okay, hit me.'

'This question is from FamousNoOne. She asks if you had to pick between Evans…'

'I want Evans.' James declared.

'Let me finished. Between Evans and between Quidditch…' Remus scolded him.

'I love Quidditch.' James reminded everyone in the room.

'Which would you choose?' Remus continued.

'Both.' James answered.

'Can't do, mate.' Sirius grinned wickedly. 'One or the other but not both.'

'Which is it Prongs?' Peter asked. 'The game or the dame?'

'Clever, Peter!' Sirius gave the rounded boy a manly slap on the back.

'Er…Q-Quid…'James glanced around the room, all heads were shaking. 'Um, I mean L-Lil…' All heads nodded. 'I-I want both! I mean, why can I not have both? If she loves me, she will love what I do and I do Quidditch just like I'd let her do the laundry and baking…and.' James blinked as Sirius and Peter shook their heads no, while Remus a palm smack. 'If she wanted to do that sort of thing and all, is what I mean.'

'Better move onto the next question.' Sirius nodded towards Remus' owl letters.

'Right.' Remus picked up the next one. 'Oh here is an easy one for you. This question is from our lovely Mary Gold. She would like to know if she were to place a gambling bet, which we do not indorse, which Quidditch team would you recommend to her?'

'Ah a Quidditch question. To answer that I would need to know when you are placing such bet and which teams are playing. If Chudley Cannons are playing, as a rule, always place a bet for the other team. Unless you need to burn some cash but very few people do. Vratsa Vultures are quite a team and have succeeded winning a time or two. Braga Broomfleet is a good team that will hold onto your bet, right good beaters in that team. Toyohashi Tengu are broom burners and I don't support Broom Cruelty. Wimbourne Wasps are decent team as well as Appleby Arrows and so happen to be rivalry teams. That makes it a treat just to watch those two teams play against each other. Now the team that I prefer happens to be…'

'Shut him up now.' Peter covered his ears with his hands. 'He'll go on forever if he starts to talk about the team name-you-know-what.'

'Wormtail has a mild point.' Sirius agreed, taking the papers from Remus. 'James, next question. '

'B-but I'm not done! There still haven't talked about Falmouth Falcons, the Puddlemere United, Caerphilly Catapults, Wigtown Wanderers and their meat cleavers or even the lovely girl team, Holyhead Harpies.'

'Save if for Broom and Zoom hour, Jamesy. Next question is from Yorkpeppermint who would like to know how crop circles are made?'

'Oh, that's the after effect of Quidditch Games.' James smiled dreamily. 'See, Quidditch is huge and by law, we must keep it out of muggle sight. Though I feel the world would be a much better place if everyone knew about Quidditch. Anyways, it's a genius idea to place a Quidditch Meet in a crop field. How often does one take a stroll down a row of future food products? After clean up, sometimes a circle is the only evidence that a Quidditch match was played.'

'For those who are worried about the crop damage, there is a foundation that helps support farms crop lost due to a sporting match.' Remus added.

'Well James, it seems as we are done with questioning you. Let us quiz Wormtail next.' Sirius turned to Peter who shrank even lower in his seat. 'Don't be pulling faces about it, Pete. It's all for fun and then you are done.'

'Oh, go on then.' Peter sighed out a bit loudly.

'Mary Gold has a silly little question.' Sirius barked. 'She would like to know in what situation would you rat out your friends.'

All four boys laugh at the question.

'I'd never rat a Marauder out!' Peter wiped a tear from his eye. 'Well, unless…'

The other three turn to look at him.

'Unless that was part of our plan and you three told me that I had to do it, it would be different and not really ratting you out if it's for a prank and you three planned it that way.' Peter thought carefully. Yes, he believe he had said that right.

'Well, sure if we told you to but I don't ever seeing a time where I'm going to tell you that you need to tell on us for doing something.' Sirius twitched his nose.

'Unless it was for an alibi of a bigger prank!' James grinned. 'We do a little prank and then a bigger prank but the punishment for the lesser prank isn't so bad so he says we did that and not that and we get punished for this instead of that but we did both! It's brilliant! I like it!'

'You lost me on this and that.' Remus blinked at him.

'You just confessed our alibi for two pranks on a live station.' Sirius pointed out.

All four boys looked at the microphone, stunned into a small moment of silence.

'Oh bloody hell.' A moment of silence was not James strong point. He flopped down on his chair feeling a bit rash.

Remus took a letter from Sirius, 'Peter I have the next question for you. This is from Yorkpeppermints who would like to know why it is okay to pick your ears but not your nose. Honestly, I don't believe it is correct social manner to pick any part of your body but that question is for you and not me…'

'Thank you for not answering my question.' Peter glared at Remus. 'The reason why one should not pick their nose is because your nose holes will grow larger allowing bugs to fly in and lay eggs within your nostrils. However, if you pick your ears the hole within the ear um…case will allow you to hear all the better.'

'Is that what you believe?' Sirius asked the other boy.

'It's what Mum says.' Peter said quite seriously. 'Mums don't lie.'

'Moving on we have a question from FamousNoOne who says, that you should also stay inside for she has a feeling you may scare small children.'

'And that's a bad thing?' Peter looked over at Sirius.

'Not to me it isn't.' Sirius shrugged. 'What is wrong with this FamousNoOne? Is this one of those people who cannot leave their homes for fear? Or does she wish everyone to say home so hog the world to themselves?'

'Probably wants to score some Quidditch tickets and having everyone stay inside ups the chances.' James turned to the microphone. 'You can get tickets by owls, just so you know. Don't have to leave home to get great seats. It's all about who you know.'

'Well there are all the questions directed towards you Wormtail.' Sirius patted him on the head. 'Good job.'

'Lets turn our attention to Remus!' James smiled at Remus. 'May I copy your potions answers from our homework due on Monday?'

'No. You probably know the answers anyways.' Remus glared at James.

'Yes, I probably do but I would have to read the questions and then answer them. If I just copied your answers, I can save more damage to my eyes.' James pointed to his glasses.

'Another question.' Remus ignored James and turned towards Sirius.

'Um…well FamousNoOne is a bit confusing. She says, about the whole "Will you marry me" thing... It was just a way to get you to express your undying love for Sirius, that's me. If you need to talk to a therapist about your urges, I know a guy... Not that I can really blame you. Sirius is absolutely dashing.'

'She didn't say that!' Remus grabbed the letter from Sirius hands. 'Bloody Baron's bleeding heart, she does!'

'This FamousNoOne seems a bit like an odd bird.' James took the paper from Remus' stunned hands.

'I find odd birds slightly attractive at times.' Sirius sighed.

'Okay, let us break this down. Remus,' James looked at his friend. 'Do you find anything attractive about Sirius?'

Remus looked over at Sirius who winked and blew him a kiss.

'No. Nothing.' Remus looked back at James.

'Now don't be holding back luv.' Sirius teased.

'His hair is quite charming.' James pointed out. 'Girls tend to love those eyes.'

'Nothing. I have no sexual feelings for Sirius at all at this time, or in the past and I highly doubt in the future.' Remus declared.

'Well okay then. See if I ever like you.' Sirius huffed.

'Then do you think you need to speak to a therapist about your urges? Cause if you do, she knows a guy.' James frowned. 'What is a therapist?'

'It's some type of aura speaking person that smells too much aromas.' Peter explained. 'Like a fortune teller but they speak of the present time.'

'Well that is a bit stupid. We know what is happening now.' Sirius scuffed. 'You need to speak to a person about your present problems?'

'Nope. If I were, wouldn't I speak to you guys?' Remus looked around his friends.

'Aw, group hugs!' James opened his arms wide and Peter was willing but the other two held off. 'Well it's no fun if it's just two people hugging.' James looked down at Peter who wrapped his arms tightly around James' waist. 'It's a bit awkward, really.' He pried Peter lose.

'The next question if from Mary Gold who would like to know if everyone sees the exactly color of everyone else?' Sirius pointed to a dark corner. 'I see darkness.'

'That's not really a color more of a description.' Peter explained.

'But isn't a color a form of description?' James tossed at Peter.

'No, not everyone sees the same color. Some people even have difficult in distinguishing colors like blue and green or yellow and red.' Remus said.

'Yorkie would like to know if there is another world out there?' Sirius read.

'Well that question needs to be more defined. If this person means another world other than their own, yes. Everyone lives in their own world if you think about it. You have your own space. You do what you need to do and don't really think too much about a person who say, lives five miles from your home. If this person means something like an extraterrestrial , well there isn't enough proof to say no to that but there isn't enough to say yes either.'

'So…you don't know?' Peter asked.

'I have never meant anyone saying they were an extraterrestrial.' Remus explained.

'Well that's all I got.' Sirius tossed the letters in front of James. 'Quiz me, Prongs.'

'Let me see what we got here.' James glanced over the letters. 'Ah, well it seems that FamousNoOne still fancy Moony and you shouldn't let her calling you dashing get to your head.'

'Please. Dashing. I hear that every day.' Sirius waved it off.

'Mary Gold would like to know the one thing you will never, ever do.' James looked over the top of the pages. 'Not even in a dare.'

'Oh that's easy.' Sirius leaned in his chair. 'I will never, ever, not even in a dare pick someone else dirty underpants off the floor.'

'That is a lesson we all should follow.' James agreed.

'I already practice that.' Remus wrinkled his nose. 'I think there has been a pair sitting in our dorm, in the same corner for two weeks now.'

'Not mine, not picking them up.' Sirius shook his head.

'Not mine.' James added.

'Not mine either.' Peter mumbled.

'Well they aren't mine or I would have picked them up. They belong to someone in this room!' Remus glared at other three Marauders.

'We are just going to have to vanquish them from our dorm.' James explained.

'Maybe someone else vanquished them from their dorm and they ended up in our dorm?' Peter said thoughtfully.

'Yorkpeppermint would like to know what Loves means to you?' James asked Sirius.

'Love means having someone to lean on, someone who will stand by your side right or wrong, and someone who will put their own lives down for you.' Sirius explained. 'You lovely ladies can get more of that when you tune into Sirius Seduction Hour.'

'Touching.' James sighed. 'Makes me think of Evans, my sweet Lily-flower.'

'A lot of things make you think of her.' Peter pointed out.

'It seems we have run out of questions that are solely directed at one of us. Let us continue with questions for us all.' Remus thumbed through the papers. 'RandomFandom5 says she wishes not to give out her true identy because she doesn't want Sirius sniffing around so she is going with Holly.'

'And why would she think the name Holly would keep me from prowling around?' Sirius asked.

'I do not pretend to understand females.' Remus whispered. 'So here question is if we would ever befriend a person was sorted into Slytherin house or are we big prejudiced jerks and assume they are all alike?'

'I don't think I will.' Peter shook his head. 'I suppose if one was nice to me, maybe but none are. They tease me. Say I waddle like a duck. They hex me because I'm the weakest of the Marauders. It would take someone very especially nice in the Slytherin House before I even get near one.'

'Well I believe not everyone who falls into the Slytherin's house is necessary bad.' Remus answered. 'I believe most of it is peer pressure. They would have to live with being tormented by other Slytherins all year long and that would become difficult for anyone.'

'My cousin Andromeda is a right fine Slytherin.' Sirius explained. 'She's an example of a Slytherin gone right. So, yes I can be friends with a Slytherin but it has to be someone very unique.'

'Well I have been introduced to Andromeda and I also like her. She is a fighter and sticks to her value.' James explained. 'Though I have to admit, I was on high alert. Andromeda is a rarity in the Slytherin place so most of the time; I believe I will be a jerk about it if you do not mind.'

'Yorkpepperment would like to know if this truly will be updated weekly as we promise.' Remus read.

'We are going to make our best attempt at it but we cannot foresee the future and what comes will come. As so it may cause interference with our broadcast but we are making our best intention to make it weekly.' James said.

'Serenity would like to know what muggle object we enjoy the most.' Remus continued with the next question. 'Well I happen to find there telephone remarkable.'

'I like their automobiles.' Peter spoke up.

'Motorcycle.' Sirius grinned. 'There is nothing more muggle as a motorcycle.'

'I am fascinated by their theaters! It's so realistic!' James shook his head in disbelief.

'The next one is from Vinnie Lootin who believes that he has f-found a um…werewolves lair?' Remus looked around nervously at the others. 'He would like to know what he should do or if he could get help.'

'If indeed Vinnie, you have stumbled into a path of the werewolves it isn't a full moon so you should be fine.' Sirius spoke carefully. 'However, wolves don't hide in lairs. Vampires tend to live in lairs? If it is a vampire lair, I would say it is too late for help and you better run if you can.'

'Find a garlic patch and roll around in it.' James added.

'We are finished.' Remus smiled into the microphone.

'Finally!' Peter sighed in relief.

'We got some shout out request to end our show but before we go, we would like to thank everyone for tuning into tonight's broadcasting.' Sirius spoke softly. 'Remember to tune into Sirius' Seduction Hour, the same time as usually, well after your bedtime.'

'Yes, well the first shout out is from James Potter to Lily Evans.' Remus rolled his eyes.

'Love you Evans!' James shouted.

'And Jaydee would like to give a shout out to all her friends, though she hadn't mentioned their names.' Remus frowned.

'Probably a Slytherin who doesn't want people to know she and her friends listen to us.' Peter explained.

'Don't forget to tune in for Brooms and Zooms on the Potter hour!' James shouted.

'Keep those questions coming.' Remus added.

'That raps it up folks.' Sirius turned off the station.

'I think we did rather well.' James smiled with satisfaction.

'Except for you admitting you cheat in potions. ' Remus smack James in the back of the head.

'I did say that, didn't I?' James growled at his own mistake. 'I tend to forget about being on air at times.'


	4. Chapter 4

'They used to be people, Prongs.' Sirius pointed over towards their werewolf buddy. 'I know your views are strong about how altered people are treated differently.'

'I'm saying that, Sirius!' James did palms up expression. 'I think creatures that are human on most nights should still be considered humans. That's not the case with these creatures. Day or night their personalities never changes and that is the reason why our views on them must change. '

'You're mad. How are you any better to judge them than those that judge, say a werewolf? I know you believe werewolves should be treated better. Not ten minutes ago you were balking when I suggested that maybe, just maybe there is a tad bit of their former existents dwelling way down in some internal organ and its waiting to recognized.' Sirius went on.

'It's highly possible that where that little itty bitty emotion is dwelling has decayed with the rest of them.' James augured.

'It's a disease or a virus, I'm not sure how to label it but it is undoubtedly an illness that twisted and deformed the individual inside and out making them disabled. They are victims of this curse and should not be judged harshly and maliciously.' Sirius stated.

'They have no intellect for our laws or respect of our living statues, Sirius. Why should we consider them to be our equal?' Peter asked. 'If given a chance, it would turn on us like a wild animal.'

'Only if it would catch you.' Sirius huffed. 'Tell me this, Pete. When you were in bloomers, did you understand our laws?'

'Well..no.' Peter shook his head.

'No one snuffed your life out, did they? No.' Sirius shook his head. 'Their state of mind, because of this disease, is that of a childish mind. They only know to satisfy their hunger.'

'I really hate to break up this debate you three are pulling around but we do have a show to broadcast.' Remus reminded the group.

'Oh yes. Hello out there!' Peter smiled brightly in the microphone. Even though people cannot see your smile, if you smile they can sense it….or so I am told.

'This is the Marauders Hour and we are broadcasting live from Hogwarts.' Sirius spoke with a husky whisper. 'Before we began, I would like to address all my fine, lovely female fans out there and that special gal, you know who you are.'

'For those that are just tuning into our show, Good Evening.' Remus took a turn at addressing the listeners. 'The conversation Sirius, James and Peter were having …'

'Tis about whether Zombies should have equal rights that are given to Wizards.' James cut in. 'Since they have a habit of eating people, I say they should not.'

'And I say they should.' Sirius voiced. 'Once rights are given to a Wizard they should not be taken away even after death.'

'I agree with James.' Peter put in his opinion. 'They eat people.'

'You only agree because your nose is up his arse.' Sirius growled.

'Is not.' Peter frowned as he wiped his nose.

'Is too.' Sirius barked back.

'This is what I have to put up with all the time.' Remus sighed into the microphone. 'Please send sympathy letters to Remus Lupin, Gryffindor Tower, Boys' Dorm 4, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.'

'I believe this is a conversation our listeners can take part in.' James eyes light up with his own idea, as they normally do. 'If you have an opinion on the Zombie Rights issue please let us hear about it and we can add it to our next broadcast.'

'Or maybe we will do a voting base thing on our profile page?' Remus looked at the group.

'It's a thought.' Sirius shrugged.

'I like it.' Peter agreed with Remus.

'The Zombie Poll has been added to our profile page. If you would like to voice your thoughts and vote, you still may.' Remus said. 'Now we will be moving on to the questions. There isn't as many as last time.'

''That's a relief.' Peter wiped at his brow. 'All these questions were giving me a headache.'

'We have a secret pm question. Someone would like us to keep their name out of the broadcast and we will respect that.' Remus went on.

'A Slytherin no doubt.' Sirius snorted. 'Doesn't want his mates to know he listens to us every week.'

'The anonymous person would like to know what our back up plan consist of.' Remus frowned at the letter in his hand. 'I'm not rightly sure what this person means about back up plan.'

'Isn't it obvious?' Peter slapped his hands on his lap. 'This person probably knows about Plan Take Over and wants to know what we will do if it fails.'

'We do not discuss our plans while we are broadcasting!' Sirius howled. 'That was rule number two!'

'What was rule number one?' Peter asked.

'Prongs, why don't you recap Rule number one?' Remus grinned over at James.

'No matter what topic is brought up in a conversation, under no circumstances am I to speak about my bedroom fantasies which involve Lily in Quiddith Gear.' James replied.

'Oh, yeah.' Peter snapped his fingers. 'Because later…'

'We all had James' fantasy dream that night and he gave tantrum fit when we told him about it.' Sirius laughed.

'Moving on.' Remus glanced down at the paper. 'Dear Anonymous, we aren't clear on what you mean by backup plan. We can only assume you might mean if we were planning something that would break the rules at Hogwarts…'

'Which we would never, ever do.' Sirius lied.

'So we cannot answer this question correctly.' Remus took the next letter. 'Next question is from Serenity and she would like to…'

'Where do we go when we just don't know? And how do we relight the flame when it's cold? Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing? And when will we learn to control?' James sang.

'Yes, thank you James.' Remus looked over at Prongs who gave him a finger wave in return. 'That was James singing Godsmack's song titled, Serenity. Though they are questions, they are not the questions our listener Serenity asked. She asks if our time broadcasting is any way breaking a Hogwarts' rule?'

'Due to admitting a possible rule break, we cannot answer that question without a lawyer.' Sirius answered. 'Next question, Remus?'

'Same person but easier question. Serenity would like to know if we could control the future how do we see your lives years from now?' Remus smiled at the group. 'I wouldn't want to see anything change. I wish time would just freeze.'

'Can it freeze after I get Lily?' James pleaded.

'I see all four of us talking over Firewiskey about how our wives, though we love them dearly, chased us out of the house by nagging us about the toilet seat.' Sirius answered.

'That's a good future. I'm jumping on it.' James agreed.

'I'm only buying the first round.' Peter told the group. 'You guys will have to buy the rest.'

'RandomFandom5 says she is sorry about the prejudiced jerk thing and that Holly is a fake name though her real name still starts with a H.' Remus read.

'Please, Miss Holly!' James waved at the air. 'A question is a question and we agree to answer anything that we are able to answer without landing detention. Your apology is accepted but it didn't have to be said. No hard feelings in this heart of mine.'

'We should guess her name.' Peter smiled at his idea.

'If we don't guess correctly, she can have your first born.' Sirius agreed.

'I say Heather.' Remus voiced.

'Hannah,' Sirius slams his hand on the table. 'She sounds like a Hannah to me.'

'I think um…' Peter twitched his nose as he thought, then chewed on his lower lip. 'I'm thinking about Hayley.'

'I say Hancugundal.' James nodded his head, agreeing with himself.

'Hancugundal?' Remus shook his head.

'Why not?' James asked, very seriously. He thought the name was agreeable.

'James, I am going to be the godfather of any children you might accidently help Lily conceived, right?' Sirius asked.

'Oh it won't be accidental but that's the plan.' James agreed.

'I want all Godfather rights, then.' Sirius demanded.

'Godfather's rights? What exactly are they?' James asked cautiously.

'Oh just that I get to name your first born.' Sirius waved the question off.

'As long as it will be something I agree with.' James still looked guarded. 'Don't want you naming it something strange or abnormal.'

'It will be a very normal name indeed.' Sirius promised. 'For the child's sake.'

'Mary Gold, remember her from the last broadcasting?' Remus looked at the group. 'She seems to be a cheerful person. Mary would like to know what the worse Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans Peter has ever tried and what was the best flavor?'

'That's a good question. I pretty much tried them all so I see myself as an Expertise of an Experience Bott's taster.' Peter replied. 'I have to say that the off yellow, with a hint of green blend reminded me of toe jam, which is not very pleasing to the tongue at all.'

'I'm gagging.' Sirius actually was since he had once seen Peter licking between his toes.

'I have to say that there is a reddish purple blend that reminds me of a delicious apple cheese cake.' Peter went on.

'He is the expert.' Remus nodded. 'Mary would like to know what is the thing I miss the most when I am away from home. Well, that is really actually easy. I miss my parents.'

Awwww….' James opened his arms to Remus. 'Does itty Remmy need a huggy?'

'Sod off. She asked a question. Like you don't miss your parents?' Remus huffed. 'I was answering honestly.'

'I miss James' parents.' Sirius sighed wistfully.

'Mary would like Sirius to answer her on the secret to beautiful, bouncy hair?' Remus patted the top of Sirius head.

'No secrets here. It's all about the genes. The only good thing I got for being a Black.' Sirius answered with a toss of his hair. 'Be jealous.'

'James, Mary would like to know if there was one thing you could change about yourself, what would it be?' Remus looked over to his friend.

'I've been amazing since birth. How can I change anything without disrupting the balance of awesomeness?' James looked at the group and Sirius was nice enough to shrug to say he didn't know.

'Oh dear. Vinnie had a run in with a Pixie and has dust in his eyes.' Remus shook his head. 'He would like to know if we know of a cure.'

'Eye drops.' Sirius snapped his fingers. 'Easy to buy and easy to use.'

'I like this next question from detrapped.' Remus smiled. 'detrapped question is, If you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional. With whom would it be?' Remus put the paper down. 'Detrapped used 'whom' and not 'who' like so many other people. Very good grammar.'

'No doubt a Raven.' James cracked his knuckles. 'There is going to by some brain damage at the next Quidditch game.'

'James.' Remus shook his head.

'Just saying…' James mumbled.

'Well I would like to be Romeo.' Remus said thoughtfully.

'He dies.' Sirius told him. 'Doesn't even die heroically.'

'Doesn't even get the girl.' James added.

'It's the story not the death.' Remus reminded them.

'Robin Hood has a better story.' James reminded him. 'He has all these adventures and helps the poor.'

'And he gets the girl.' Sirius added. 'You should be Robin Hood, Remus. You could pull it off.'

'How about you Sirius?' James asked. 'Who would you want to be?'

'Peter Pan. He has good adventures too and he never has to grow up.' Sirius looked over at Peter. 'How about you?'

'I want to be James.' Peter looked at James.

'He adores me.' James patted Peter's head like a puppy. 'I would like to remain myself. No better person to be…unless I could be Lily.'

'You just want to see her all naked.' Sirius scuffed.

'What does the reason matter?' James asked.

'Henry from Hufflepuff would like to know, from one to ten, just how happy are we?' Remus looked at the group. 'I'm feeling about an eight.'

'Eight sounds good.' Sirius agreed.

'Well I'm feeling terrific so I'm going with a ten point ninety-nine.' James answered.

'Me too.' Peter naturally agreed with James.

'Right. So FamousNoOne would like to know if we prefer Pumpkin juice or Butterbeer? House Cup or Quidditch Cup, Zonk's or Honeyduke's?' Remus tapped his chin. 'I believe Pumpkin Juice after a tired day is pleasant but a Butterbeer once in a while with good cheer is favorable. House Cup, no doubt since it is a group effort and doesn't have a form of favoritism…'

'Hey.' James scowled at Remus. 'Some Wizards and Witches cannot help that they are awesome.'

'Honeyduke's have the best chocolate, which can treat many aliments.' Remus went on.

'I like Butterbeer anytime.' Peter told the group. 'I think Quidditch because all I have to do is cheer while for the House Cup, I'm always worried I will lose points. Honeydukes is more favorable in my opinion.'

'I am in a disagreement with all of that.' James voiced. 'Butterbeer is much more favorable then Pumpkin Juice and Quidditch is the better choice because of the action. Watching numbers go up and down just doesn't excite me and if I lose points I am bound to adjust it at Quidditch playoffs. Zonks is far more charming place to be and it's educational. You get to see what type of action can create a reaction.'

'I am more of a Firewhiskey man.' Sirius added his preferences. 'I would rather have Pumpkin Juice if I had to pick between the two. Quidditch is far more interesting then who is smarter then who or which house is more toady than another. Zonks. How can you even pick over Zonks? My life would be pointless if it wasn't for Zonks. It's a temple that must be worshipped!'

'Yes, well that's our picks of the question. FamousNoOne would also like to know what profession we will go into when we are older.' Remus read. 'I for one would like to be a type of advisor for children with abnormal disability or who had to deal with tragic events in their lives and are judged harshly for those events.'

'I'd like to be a baker.' Peter said thoughtfully. 'Maybe a cupcake maker.'

'I would like to travel the world, take in the sites, the interest and just see what is happing.' Sirius answered honestly. 'I guess that isn't a profession but I cannot see myself just staying in one area.'

'I'm going to be Lily's husband, a father our fourteen children and a professional Quidditch Chaser.' James had it all planned out.

'Fourteen children?' Remus shook his head.

'If rabbits can do it, so can I.' James puffed out his chest.

'But does Lily want to?' Remus asked. 'Never mind. That seems to be it of the questions.'

'Those were pretty good questions this time around.' Peter said.

'They were and you can keep them coming.' Remus added. 'And remember to vote for Zombies Rights!'

'Your vote is important to all the Zombies out there. Let their unvocal voices be heard. Be their voice. Give them their rights back!' Sirius slammed his hand on the desk.

'But before you vote remember the lives they took.' James said quickly. 'Mothers, fathers, children, the pet turtle, they were all like you and me and it only took one bite. Just one little bite to take the living life away. We can end it. It's not about taking away the rights but ending the bite.'

'Thank you for tuning in tonight's Broadcast. We hope to hear from you. We had a few shout outs through messages.' Sirius looked down at his list. 'Naturally James is…'

'Love you Lily!'

'Yeah, that.' Sirius kept his eyes on the list. 'Amanda would like to shout out to Beth, Tracy, and Ben. Sarah would like to say Happy Birthday to Allie. Another Amanda or maybe the same one would like to shout out to Christopher and I would like to give a shout out to everyone else out there.'

'I'm glad that is over.' James stood up and rubbed his buttocks. 'My cheeks are getting numb. We need better chairs.'


	5. Chapter 5

Peter's usual little beady eyes were wide with anticipation and possibly a bit of anxiety. He watched as James stood on an oblong desk, ranting and raving about how Lily once again turned him down just before he slipped the loose noose around his neck, declaring life to be over.

'It wasn't a brilliant way to go about asking her, was it mate?' Sirius watched his dear friend pace back and forth the long table with half the rope around his neck and the other half dragging behind his feet. 'Threatening to hex Snape if she doesn't date you isn't going to give you a yes.'

'You told me to give her a decision with a win-win situation!' James exploded throwing his hands in the air. 'You told me that all her negative vibes are bring me down and that I should think of a way to be rewarded for her rejections. Hexing Snape would make me bloody happy!'

'I understand that, James.' Sirius placed both of his hands on the table he sat behind, spreading his fingers out in a way of controlling his anger as James redirected his anger. 'If it were me you were bent about asking, I would had turned you down just to see Snape get his arse hexed like a Blast-Ended Skrewt, afterwards I probably would had gone out with you but only for your spectacles. Ah, but that sweet Lily of yours is not anything like me.'

'That's a good thing.' Remus muttered and brushed off Sirius' glare. 'James threatening Lily's best friend isn't exactly going to win you any charm points. You have to be…what is the word I'm thinking of?' Remus snapped his fingers as he looked at his other friends.

'Brilliant?' Peter asked.

'Romantic?' Sirius threw out.

'I am those already!' James ran his hands through his already messy hair. 'I am brilliant. I am romantic. I am charming. I am awesome. I am everything that is great!'

'Nice.' Remus breathed out. 'I was thinking of the word nice.'

'I am nice.' James bounced down off the table. 'I am your friend even after knowing about your furry little problem.'

'Well yes but you see that as an adventure as well.' Remus winced.

'Do not.' James thought it over. 'Well yes I do but I think of every day as a possible adventure!'

'Oh and just yesterday James gave that first year a short cut to Potions!' Peter pointed out. 'That was nice.'

'Yes he did but those directions put that poor child in the hall that were prohibited to all students and Filch caught the kid and where is he now?' Remus looked at the group.

'Currently recovering in the Hospital Ward.' James whispered.

'And then…' Remus looked at him pointly.

'He will be serving a week of detention.' James flopped down on a chair beside Sirius but his hazel eyes were focused on Remus. 'Isn't my fault, Moony. I told him to be quick about it, didn't I?'

'Are you done trying to kill yourself?' Sirius took the rope off of James neck.

'Are you done giving me bad advice?' James grumbled.

'I give you good advice but somehow you screwed it up. It's rather pathetic.' Sirius pulled his hand back to slap James across the head but his friend hunched his shoulders, waiting for the impact and it tugged the old Black heart so Sirius opt to just give him a pat on the shoulder. 'You have to think before you open your mouth.'

'Show me how it is done and perhaps I will succeed.' James shot back.

'Are you saying I speak before thinking?' Sirius gasped in surprise.

'Give the boy some points, Remus.' James looked over at Remus who was already starting to rub his temples.

'That's it!' Sirius grabbed James' glasses. 'Be blind and stupid now!'

'Accio-spectacles.' James muttered with boredom, giving his wand a slight swish and his glasses floated back to him.

'I forgot we can do that.' Sirius gave the group a sheepish smile.

'I got an idea!' Peter bolted up right, his finger straight up in the air which caused everyone to look up for a moment but nothing was there. 'We can have our viewers give James suggestions to win a date with Lily!'

'Oi! I forgot about our broadcast!' Remus quickly turned his attention to the microphone. 'Looks like we are already on air!'

'Joy.' Sirius grumbled. 'Now everyone will know how you screwed up my idea on getting Lily.'

'It was a stupid idea.' James hissed.

'Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen!' Remus addressed the viewers.

'And good evening to anyone who doesn't meet those requirements. We do not discriminate here.' Sirius added.

'Thank you Sirius.' Remus rolled his eyes.

'I got your back, Moony.' Sirius gave Remus' shoulder a pounding as boys often do.

'Peter believes that our audience might have the key for James to use to open Lily's heart.' Remus went on.

'Oh, no.' Peter shook his head. 'You misunderstood me, Remus. I just think they might have ideas of how James can get Lily to say yes to him. I don't think anyone has key that will help him.'

'Isn't he adorable?' James patted Peter on the head.

'Let us leave that were it is.' Remus watched Peter smooth his hair back down. 'If you have any suggestions that James could use that may be beneficial to his success at a Yes from Lily, send us a letter.'

'How many letters did we get this time?' James looked at the pile. 'Looks like a bit there. Anything good?'

'I think they are all good.' Remus glanced through. 'We will work our way from oldest to newest.'

'Me read first!' Sirius gave a caveman holler, grabbing a letter from Remus' hand. 'An anonymous letter…A name would be great with these letters.'

'From here and onward, we shall presume that any letters unmarked are from the Slytherine House, who do not want to admit that they wish to be part of our awesome duo.' James announced.

'Don't be rude!' Remus punched Sirius on the shoulder.

'Ow, man. What about James? Huh? He was being rude as well.' Sirius rubbed his arm. 'Well this anonymous person would like to know what lesson we enjoy…'

'Oh!' James' eyes glazed over.

'Excluding flying.' Sirius watched James' expression changed to disappointment.

'I think we…' Remus looked over at Peter briefly, 'Well James, Sirius and I can say that Defense Against the Dark Arts is our most interesting class.'

'I don't like it.' Peter shook his head to give the others more clarity of his words. 'It's jinxed.'

'Maybe so but it makes it all the more interesting.' Sirius explained. 'But besides D.A.D.A, I have to say that I enjoy Muggle Studies. I find it extremely amazing how muggles go about making their lives easier with things they call machines. Their taste in music. The way they barely dress. Simply spectacular!'

'Flying but obviously we aren't to like that.' James sulked. 'Well for me it has to be Transfiguration because Minnie is just bloody smart and I am so extraordinary at the lesson that I don't even try.'

'Not to brag, just to state the obvious, I am very good at Astronomy. I do prefer Defense Against the Dark Arts the most.' Remus tapped his chin as he thought. 'I have to say, other than those I would pick Care of Magical Creatures.'

'Me. Well, let me think.' Peter mimicked Remus' chin tapping. 'Divination isn't so bad. We get tea and scones and take a nap. It's a very cozy lesson room.'

'He has a point.' James agreed looking over at Sirius and Remus who too were nodding their heads.

'FamousNoOne has a few questions for us.' Remus looked down at his letters. 'She would like to know how much we would be willing to bet that Sirius goes bald before he is sixty.'

'W-what!' Sirius grabbed the paper. 'What is wrong with these p-peo-p-le. James, what are you doing?' Sirius swatted his hands above his head, his eyes rolled upward to his skull trying to watch as James ran his long fingers through his hair.

'I'm checking the strains before I put on the bet.' James explained, showing Sirius a few lose strains of hair he found. He separated one single strain of hair from the others and began to test its strength by trying to pull it apart. 'I'm going to bet thirty galleons. His hair is seems durable.'

'Thanks.' Sirius batted James' hand away.

'I really don't have the money to bet with or against.' Remus apologized.

'Me either.' Peter sighed, wishing that he could bet.

'And I am not going to bet! My hair will never die!' Sirius declared.

'What else does FamousNoOne would like us to answer?' Peter asked Remus.

'Which one of us would most likely take a dare to run naked through the Great Hall?' Remus rolled his eyes at the question. 'Ridicules. We would be caught and serve hou-' Remus watched as James and Sirius kicked off their shoes. 'No. You will get caught!'

'It's a dare!' Sirius threw his robes off his shoulders. 'You can't back out of a dare. You'll be labeled a swot!'

'If Lily sees me in my nakedness, maybe she'll say yes!' James explained as he shunned off his trousers.

'Put your clothes back on! The hall is full and you two are already serving enough detention!' Remus scolded the two boys.

'It's a bloody dare!' Sirius nearly shouted. 'We can't back down.'

'Do it after the broadcast.' Peter thought comprise was in order.

'He's right, mate.' James shuffled back into his pants. 'We do have our broadcast we need to comment to and afterwards we can get indecent and exposed.'

'Fine.' Sirius sounded a bit disappointed.

'James and Sirius will most likely take that dare, FamousNoOne.' Remus answered the question. 'Another question from FamousNoOne…'

'She has a lot of questions today.' Peter pointed out.

'Yes, well she would like to know which of us can actually sing.' Remus glanced at the others for answers.

'Oh no doubt about it, Remus.' James slapped Remus on the back.

'This boy can howl out those tunes.' Sirius added.

'When on stages, he lets the beast out!' James performed his imitation of Remus shouting out lyrics.

'Sod off. I got a bit carried away one time and you two never let me forget it.' Remus glared.

'It was the highlight of our lives.' James placed a hand over his heart. 'Your voice has touched my soul.'

'That's your heart.' Remus informed him.

'He sang Born To Be Wild written by Mars and sang by Steppenwolf, which we believe to be written about the Marauders. It's our theme song.' Sirius explained.

'Get your motor runnin. Head out on the highway.' James wrapped an arm around Peter's neck.

'Lookin' for adventure. And whatever comes our way.' Peter started to sing with James. 'Yeah Darlin' go make it happen…'

'Like a true nature's child, we were born, born to be wild….' Remus couldn't resistance; it did seem to be their song.

'We can climb so high, I never want to dieeeeeeee…' Sirius ended. 'Really it's much better when we have the time to sing. But you can decide who you think sings better. It is our next poll. Just check it out, pick which Marauder you would want to sing-along with.'

'Moving along now.' Remus glanced down at the questions. 'FamousNoOne would like to know how many butterbeers can you drink before you're out for the night?'

'That is a good question.' James looked over at Sirius. 'How many butterbeers does it take for Sirius to go nighty-night?'

'I am not sure, Jamesy.' Sirius rubbed his chin. 'I guess we will have to find out!'

'It takes a lot of butterbeers to give us a buzz.' Peter explained. 'There are different ways of making butterbeer and some have no alcohol whatsoever. The ones that do, it's a low grade that it's barely there. You would have to chug a barrel full but you'll end up with a tummy ache instead.'

'We will dig up a recipe for Butterbeer at the end of the show.' James spoke as he held up a crumbled recipe he carried in his pocket, though listeners could not see it.

'Let us move to the next question.' Sirius took a letter from Remus' pile of papers. 'Quite a lot of letters this week, don't you think? This letter is from RandomFandom5 and she writes that her name is definitely not Honcagundal.' Sirius looked meaningful at James.

'What? It's a good solid name!' James argued.

'She didn't say it wasn't one of the other three so it looks as though you'll be keeping your first born, Pete.' Remus clapped him on the back.

'Thanks.' Peter blushed and ducked his head in embarrassment.

'She continues to say that she is all for equal rights for very other kind of person on earth, but zombies are her worst fear so she is saying that she is not really for zombie rights.' Sirius looked at the letter in disbelief.

'Oh that is so in your face!' James shouted and poked Sirius in the chest.

'Stop it!' Sirius growled. 'Remus, how is our poll coming along?'

'I will review the poll status later in the broadcasting.' Remus smiled but Sirius continued to sulk.

'Well it is all the fear about zombies that gave her an idea for a question. She would like to know what our worse fears are.' Sirius read.

'Flesh-eating slugs.' James said most seriously. 'Nasty creatures. Gives anyone a nightmares!'

'No.' Sirius shook his head, 'Just you. I have to say that my worse fear is becoming like my mother.'

'Like, womanish like her or just her personality?' Peter asked and ducked quickly to avoid Sirius' hand.

'Does it look as though I will ever be a woman?' Sirius asked, tossing a lock of hair off his shoulder.

'For me, I think my worse fear is accidentally hurting someone I care about when I am not…feeling well.' Remus stated.

'Need another Jamesy huggy?' James asked, holding his arms wide once more.

'Why do you always ask that? If it weren't for your fascination with Lily, I'd question your sexuality!' Remus huffed.

'I still question it sometimes.' Sirius muttered.

'Well you get all woe-is-me moody, what am I to do with you?' James asked.

'My worse fear is waking up next to Filch in a night dress.' Peter shivered with the thought.

'Why would you even think that?' Sirius wanted to know, his face screwed up by a mental picture.

'Idonotget would like to know if each of us were written about in the newspaper, on the front page, what would the headline say?' Remus continued with the questions.

'The Magnanimous James Potter, a truly remarkable Quidditch Chaser, and his wife the Lovely Lily Potter are expecting their twelve child!' James read an invisible headline floating in the air.

'No one in their right minds will let you have twelve kids.' Remus shook his head. 'I suppose I would like mine to read something about finding a cure for people bitten by werewolves.'

'Oh! Sirius Black agrees to poses nude! Tickets can be purchased at the box office.' Sirius quoted his headlines.

'Peter finds cure for um…forgetfulness!' Peter copied James' mock floating headlines.

'Let me have a look at our questions.' James took the pile from Remus. 'So many more to go! Okay, from Serenity, she would like to know what type of food we would be to match our personality. I think Sirius would be a pineapple upside down cake.' James blurted out.

'Well I think James is more like one of those jumping beans! He bounces about but never actually gets anywhere!' Sirius countered.

'Hmmm….I think I would be more like a cauldron cake.' Remus thought carefully.

'Taffy.' Peter nodded his head. 'I am taffy.'

'Slugston…I hate slugs, but anyways Slugston would like to know what was the last book we read.' James said. 'Well Sluggy, I personally sleep with Quidditch Through the Ages under my pillow. I read it front to back and back to front. When I am not reading that, I find the magazine called Broom Riding Witches to be highly fascinating but not because of the moving pictures, I'm reading the articles.'

'He keeps that under his mattress.' Sirius snorted. 'I am reading a story about how muggles grow their own potions at home. I get an idea that this is illegal to do.'

'Hogwarts: A History.' Remus added.

'How a Muggle Stole Christmas.' Peter smiled childishly. 'It's my favorite.'

'Detrapped would like to know what three words would we describe use to describe ourselves.' James shrugged. 'I think it's clear that I am awesome, charming, and highly lovable.'

'Punctual, fair and …' Remus started.

'Moody.' Sirius finished.

'I was going to say dependable.' Remus remarked. 'How would you describe yourself?'

' Seductive. Charismatic. Passionate.' Sirius said.

'I'm pretty sure mental should be in there somewhere.' James grinned.

'Twat.' Sirius shoved him into Peter.

'Ow.' Peter rubbed his arm. 'I think loyal and friendly and careful would describe me.'

'Oh, hey Vinnie Lootin believes he has a bicorn knocking at his gate, should he let him in?' James grinned. 'I say yes! Its wicket out there!'

'For those who don't know a bicorn is a creature that feeds upon kind-hearted husbands.' Remus explained. 'So if you are not married you have nothing to fear. If you are married and you are actually a good person, I wouldn't go near the creature. Saying that, having a bicorn knocking to be let in isn't their characteristic. You probably have a door salesman seeking a trade.'

'A person posing as another Guest would like to know who we think is the best with the ladies and are any of you, mostly Sirius, are single.' James sighed. 'I am afraid I have to burst your bubble and say that I, James Potter am currently involved in a relationship with Lily Evans.'

'Since when?' Remus asked.

'It's a run and chase relationship.' Sirius grinned.

'Laugh if you want, you'll see it happen one day and you'll three will be envious of our love.' James brushed off their taunts.

'Sure we will be. I am currently open for business as I am single but who knows what may happen by the morning?' Sirius winked at the microphone.

'I have currently ended a relationship and am in that time out moment before getting involved again.' Remus stated.

'I'm on the market!' Peter held his hand in the air. 'Free.'

'As who is better with the ladies,' Sirius opened his arms wide. 'Remus hardly dates. Peter rarely ever. James only wants who he cannot have. Obvious, I am the ladies man.'

'I have to disagree.' James pointed over at Remus. 'Girls often fall for Remus because they think he is all shy. Shy guys don't cheat, according to Violet's brown note pad on that rate our manly factor.'

'There is such a book?' Peter asked, his eyes darting from Sirius to James.

'Of course there is, Pete.' Sirius told him. 'Girls just love to talk about us and they love to share their opinions even more. What better way to share it by keeping a secret notebook that everyone knows about?'

'We do have a lot of ground to cover tonight, boys.' Remus reminded them as he waved the questions in the air. 'Another guest would like to know if any of us can see thestrals.'

'Unfortunately, we all can and most of our classmates as well.' James spoke up. 'There is a war going on, unpleasant things are happening outside of Hogwarts. Every time we come back to school either to start the term or from holiday, someone else can see the thestrals.'

'Let's move on to a more uplifting question.' Sirius took a handful of papers. 'Another so called guest would like to know that if something had terribly gone wrong to where one of us might die, why not just use a time turner and go back?'

'Why wouldn't we do that?' Peter asked seriously. 'That would save a lot of grief.'

'There are serious consequences to changing time. We might change one little thing and the outcome may be catastrophic.' Remus explained.

'Plus Dumbledore won't let us have one.' James added.

'He goes on saying that he doesn't think our maturely level will ever reach the responsible level.' Sirius also added.

'Reading another question, this is from Angie who sends us her love.' Remus looked over at the Marauders.

'Awwwwww.' They say in union.

'She would also like to know if Lily Evans would ever join us as she has some questions to ask Lily.' Remus scratched his head in wonder. 'How shall we answer it?'

'Let's not rule it out.' James stated. 'This is the Marauder's hour after all and though I do love her, it's a boy's club. She does her girly thing with …well the girls in their rooms.'

'But if you would like to ask us to ask her, we'll be happy to do so.' Sirius explained. 'If we get a good bit of questions for Lily, we can see about getting her to the show.'

'Good plan.' Remus agreed. 'So ask the question and we will even let you pick the person who you would like to ask Lily.'

'Please pick me every time.' James whispered loudly.

'Mary Gold, you know when I say that name I think of a young woman with radiant blonde hair shimmering down her shoulders.' Sirius sighed. 'Well Mary Gold would like to know which of us is the coolest out of us four.'

'Me.' James raised his hand.

'Yeah, I got to go with James.' Peter naturally agreed.

'His ego is large enough but I too say James.' Remus also agree but not with much delight. 'If it weren't for him, we probably would never even be the Marauders.'

'I too say James but only because he wears spectacles.' Sirius looked at James' eye wears enviously.

'Oh look, James!' Peter held up a letter. 'It is a wedding proposal!'

'From Lily!' James asked excitedly.

'Well, no.' Peter looked at the letter again. 'Someone named Carolina who fancies you a bit and would like to know if you would agree to marry her.'

'I'm saving myself for Lily.' James explained. 'But thanks anyways.'

'Another guest says that she thinks we are pretty good blokes, even me.' Peter beamed as he didn't get many pleasant letters. 'um…she says something about not believing what people are saying that I like to do…'

'What do you like to do that people are saying you done?' James asked.

'I'm not rightly sure.' Peter scratched a little behind his ear. 'Anyways, going on with the letter the girl says that she has a crush on her best friend but doesn't know if she should tell him. Her friends stated that feelings are mutual and that they would make the perfect couple. Her fear is that they are wrong and if she would confront him with her feelings and he would never speak to her again. She goes on to say that she loves us all and everyone should stop picking on me. She claims that James is the best but Remus is sooooo cute. Says nothing about you, Padfoot. Oh, she signs her name as Lily but not our Lily Evans.'

'I am the man people come to about love questions and she didn't even single me out?' Sirius shook his head in disbelieve. 'The answer is simple. Tell him because if you don't, you will never know what will happen.'

'I say don't tell him.' Remus cut in. 'If you are feeling unsure about it, there is a reason. You are not picking up any signals from him though maybe through your friends, you want to see what they are seeing. It's not there. Don't tell and ruin the relationship.'

'I say do so but do it as a hypnotically question before asking the real question.' Peter put in his advice.

'Ask. The worse he will say is no.' James spoke. 'I've had plenty of negative responses and it doesn't hurt me.'

'Then why did you want to end your life not moments ago?' Remus asked.

'I wanted your sympathy.' James hissed. 'I'd never kill myself over an answer. Last letter I get to read because I am the coolest of the lot. Okay. Right. This letter is from a Mellon. She goes to say that her question is for Remus.'

'Just me?' Remus asked.

'Yes. She would like to know why you were all panicky when you explained to our audience that you were not gay.' James raised his brows and waited for the answer.

'Did I come across panicky?' Remus asked the group.

'Must have or she would be asking the panicky question.' Sirius claimed.

'I don't think I was…what I mean is that I was taken by surprised by the question. I hadn't realized people thought that I was a type that would fall for…well, him.' Remus pointed over to Sirius.

'What is wrong with me?' Sirius asked.

'Not just you, men in general.' Remus explained. 'You and James, I could understand. You two go to the toilets together.'

'I need someone in case Myrtle tries to jump me again!' James barked. 'I wouldn't have to worry about her popping out on me if it weren't for you guys. Ghost hands are not a pleasant feeling.'

'How are we at fault?' Sirius asked. 'The ghostly gal fancies you and hey, she seen all of you so she knows what she is getting.'

'You told me to use her to get some information for a prank.' James pointed out. 'And you!' He pointed to Remus. 'You told me to be nice to her! So I compromised and used her nicely and now she haunts my toilet hours!'

'Used her nicely?' Remus looked shocked, Sirius looked amused. 'What does that even mean?'

'It means that I was nice to her when I used her for information.' James muttered. 'Moving on, Mellon would also like to know if you had to pick one of us, Remus this is still only your question, which one the Marauders would you pick to pucker up too?' James made kissing sounds. 'If it would be Sirius, she would like to know why?'

'Oh I know why he would pick me but I'd like to know why you wouldn't pick me.' Sirius glared at him. 'I have more kissing practice then this lot!'

'Hey now.' James pointed over to Peter. 'He's been practicing a lot with his pillow.'

'You said you wouldn't tell!' Peter cried, his face becoming flushed.

'Marauders don't keep secrets from each other.' James explained.

'But we are….' Peter pointed to the microphone. 'On air! You just told anyone who is listening that I kiss my pillow!'

'Oh.' James blinked. 'Peanut socks. Sorry about that Pete.'

'So who is it going to be, Remus?' Sirius folded his arms in front of his chest. 'Someone like me who has a few kissing experience under his belt. I mean that literally. Peter who kisses feather filled pillows or James who kisses Lily and gets slapped for it.'

'She just isn't ready to display public affection quite yet.' James explained.

'Why do I even have to answer this question!' Remus slapped his face in his hands. 'I pick…James!'

'Yes!' James shot out of the chair. 'He'd kiss me before kissing you!'

'Why does everything have to be a completion with you, Prongs?' Sirius asked but didn't wait for an answer. 'Why James and not me?'

'Because no one would take the kiss seriously if it were with him. Everyone wants James because he's safe. He's like plastic chocolate. Looks great but you know you'll never bite it. He is Lily's, though she doesn't claim him.' Remus explained. 'If I were to kiss you then next thing you know rumors are stating that you and I are dating and I'd never get a date with a girl again!'

'That's the end of the questions.' Peter hurried to change the subject. 'For those that are new to the station, we did a poll last week with the question asked if Zombies should maintain their Citizen Rights. The results are as follows: Five say Zombies should only have one right and that is to live, unless they kill someone. Five say Zombies should have no rights because they are too dangerous and should stay dead. Four state that Zombies should only have partial rights to their human rights as they use to be people. And only three say that Zombies should keep all their citizen rights they had before their death.'

'The next poll will be asking which Marauder you think has the better singing voice.' Remus added. 'And if you could, take a moment to listen to Born to Be Wild. You'll see, it was made for us.'

'And also we are seeking love advice for James. He will try them and give the results of the advice in the next broadcast.' Sirius reminded the listeners.

'Yes, let there be some good advice!' James glared at Sirius. 'Lastly shout out time. I want to give Lily a shout out, letting her know how deeply I care for her. Jennie would like to wish Jullian a very Happy Birthday. Last shout out to all of our viewers out there. Keep the questions coming. Don't forget to check out the butterbeer recipe below. Good Cheers! Now I must get naked with Sirius.'

'Oh. You mean the dare on streaking?' Peter asked as he started to disrobe. 'I think I'll join you.'

'Why do I get myself involved in stuff like this?' Remus muttered also shedding his clothing.

* * *

Butterbeer Recipe.

_*** I wrote this down a while ago. I found it on the web and its good but I hate the making part. I do not own the recipe and unfortunately, I did not write the done the creature's name. Sorry._

**FOR THE BUTTERBEER**

6 12-ounce bottles chilled cream soda

3 teaspoons (1 tablespoon) imitation butter flavor, or 2 tablespoons clarified butter (**clarified butter does not always blend well with the cold beverage **)

OPTIONAL – 1 ounce light rum, per serving, for adults only

**FOR THE FOAM**

2 cups heavy cream

6 tablespoons sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/2 teaspoons imitation butter (if using clarified butter, double the amount to 3 teaspoons, or 1 tablespoon)

To make the butterbeer: Set out 6 16-ounce glasses. Place 1/2 teaspoon of imitation butter (or 1 teaspoon clarified butter) in each glass. Pour 12 ounces of cream soda into each glass, over the butter. Lightly stir, if necessary.

To make the foam: In a large bowl, or the bowl of a standing mixer, whip the heavy cream on medium high speed for 3-4 minutes until it starts to thicken. Add the sugar and continue whipping until very soft peaks begin to form, another 3-4 minutes (if you need to whip more or less, then be sure to do so, the times can vary quite a bit based on environment). Stir in the vanilla and imitation butter (or clarified butter), then whip for another 30 seconds or so, until soft peaks form.

Spoon a generous portion of foam on top of each glass of butterbeer, mixing gently, if desired (or spoon the foam into the bottom of the glass and pour the butterbeer over the top). Serve immediately.


	6. Chapter 6

'Good evening viewers. Today we are broadcasting our show in the deep bowels of Hogwarts.' Peter explained while pulling an open hand through the air to indicate his surroundings. It was an unneeded gesture as all viewers of the broadcasting show could not see through their station. 'This is where we do our potion making projects. We like to call this educational study area, the Potion Class.'

'Why don't you hand the microphone to me, Peter?' Remus asked in a sugary voice to mask the annoyance that he really felt.

'I am not to do that, Remus.' Peter blinked a bit more than he would normally do. He flicked his index finger in the air as he spoke to Remus in a flat tone. 'I was given the up most important mission and I shall not fail.'

Remus gave Peter a suspicious glare before observing the room, the very quiet room. 'Wormtail, where is James and Sirius?'

'I do believe they are resting in detention.' Peter informed his werewolf buddy.

'Don't you think that I would know if they have detention?' Remus raised up his brows. 'Where are they and don't be giving me tales.'

'I shall not lie to you, as we are friends and shall be mates for the rest of our lives.' Peter continued in the same self-rehearsed voice. 'I do not know where our fellow Marauders may be at.'

Remus tapped on the top of the desk as he mentally counted backwards to keep his temper under control. 'Let me ask you this, Pete. What are James and Sirius up to that they don't want me to know about?'

'I was giving an important mission and I shall not fail.' Peter started to repeat his previous speech. Remus quickly stood up, his shadow casting long and dark over Peter who crouched down into himself as trying to make his body smaller.

'Pete, I think it would be in your best interest if you tell me what they are up to.' Remus warned him. He watched the shorter boy's brain short circuit as he tried to mentally picture the worse outcome. 'Look, Wormtail.' Remus put his hands on the arm rest of the chair Peter sat in, securing him to the chair. 'Whatever hex they threaten you with, I will deliver a hasher one. I will do it right now if you don't tell me.'

'Y-you w-would do that while we are broadcasting live?' Peter asked who still resembled a turtle in its shell.

'I will. I will do it here or there. I will do it standing or in a chair. I will hex you till you are blue with boils.' Remus leaned closer to the other boy so he could look him straight in the eye.

'T-they are girl-knapping Lily!' Peter whined out rather quickly. 'But don't tell them that I was the one that told you!'

'What? WHAT! Are they out of their minds?' Remus asked but held up his hand before Peter could speak. 'Don't answer me. She's going to hex them but more importantly, she'll take points away from them! House points that our house needs because they lost fifty points between them not more than six hours ago!'

There was no doubt by looking at Peter's face, that anyone could see his expression was a mask of confusion. He held up the palms of his hands in a relic fashion of a scale as he tried to weigh the priorities of Remus' concerns.

'Is this another plan for James to get Lily?' Remus asked Peter with a heavy sigh.

Peter opened his mouth to explain but Remus kept going.

'Because it won't work. She'll hate him! Hate him, Peter. We'll have to pick up all those James' shattered pieces all over again! Is that what he wants?' Remus asked Peter.

'Weellll….' Peter started.

'Because that's exactly what he will be getting!' Remus kept ranting.

'Moony.' Peter held up both of his hands in front of him. 'They are doing it because it was requested in an owl message.'

Remus stopped pacing back and forth to look at Peter.

'It's right here.' Peter scurried through the papers on the table before settling for a particular one. 'It says that we should gag her and throw her in the broadcasting room to interview her. Then kick her out and get on with our man time.' Peter pointed with his left hand at the paper he held in his right hand. 'It was signed FredNeverDied.'

'Why me?' Remus looked up at the ceiling for an answer. Peter also looked up but didn't see anyone that would answer Remus.

The door of the potion room suddenly to reveal Sirius standing with his arms spread open. Behind him, James stood with a grin on his face and Lily thrown over his shoulder.

'We're home!' Sirius voiced carried in the empty room. 'And look who we brought for dinner!'

'I have an odd thought that I just witness Neanderthal men coming home to their caves with a new bride, gagged and bound.' Remus muttered. He took in the appearance of James and Sirius. Both looked well beaten.

James had a bruise developing on his cheek and scratch marks that started just behind his ear, down his neck to stop at his collar bone. His shirt was torn and burnt in several places and his hair was more airy than usual.

Sirius' hair wasn't much better. The soft, silky locks that usually cascaded down in a lush wave to his shoulder was now frizzed and knotted in a rat nest appearance. His left eyeball was showing signs of redness and his lip exhibited signs of slight swelling. His shirt also bared the scars of a war battle with a lit candle.

'She's a wild witch!' James explained to Remus, a bit too excitedly. He gave an unconscious Lily an endearing pat on the rump.

'Don't do that, James.' Remus warned him. 'She'll find out somehow and hex you in a most uncomfortable place. She's done it before.'

'After seeing this new side of Miss Evans, I fear James may not be man enough to handle her.' Sirius sighed with a faux disappointment. 'I will probably need to take over all efforts in courting Miss Evans.'

'Bullocks.' James carefully pulled Lily in front of him before finding chair to place her in.

'What did you two do to her?' Remus showed signs of concern in his eyes, the small indent between his brows and the frown on his face.

'Just a bit of a calming hex.' Sirius brushed it off. 'She'll come around.'

'Why didn't you just ask her to come to an interview?' Remus asked.

'This was much more challenging.' James stated.

'Do you two realize how disturbing this is?' Remus looked at Sirius and then at James. Sirius actually looked a bit abashed about it. James looked a bit confused.

'Whatever do you mean?' James asked very seriously.

'James, you stalk her. You know everything she does from the time she gets up in the morning to the time she goes to bed and now you kidnapped her?' Remus explained.

'No, mate.' James shook his head. 'We galknapped her. Trust me, she's hardly a kid. She put up a hell of a fight. The passion inside her is raw and sensual!'

'I'm starting to develop a headache.' Remus sat down near Peter.

'Is it one of those headaches again?' Peter patted Remus on the shoulder with sympathy.

'Look, here she comes.' James knelt down beside of Lily as her eyes started to flutter open.

'P-potter?' Lily blinked her green orbs at the boy in front of her. 'Where am I? What have you done?'

'Nothing, luv.' James petted her limp hand in that he held in his own hand.

'Er, Lily.' Remus waved a hand in front of her. 'Sorry about that Lily. These stupid blokes got an idea to carry you off to our interview meetings.'

'You mean the broadcasting thing?' Lily mumbled, quickly taking her hand out of James' hand.

'Yes. Please don't take points from them.' Remus practically begged. 'I promised I will turn my back and you can do anything you want with them. I will even let you use my wand to do it.'

'Hey.' James and Sirius said in union.

'Pathetic.' Lily rolled her eyes at all the boys. 'All this is about a few questions? Why if you just asked, I might have done it. Considered it at the very least.'

'So we've been told.' Sirius found an empty chair to sit down, tipping the chair backwards so that it only had two legs on the ground.

'I won't dock points but…' Lily eyed James and Sirius. 'You two will be dealt with properly so watch your backs.'

'What can you do to us?' Sirius barked a laugh.

'I know a hex that will have you digging in a certain area that would draw attention to and curiosity about what you might be spreading.' Lily warned him.

'That bloody evil!' James hissed. 'Will you marry me?'

'No.' Lily threw her hands in the air as this question has been asked before.

'Um…can we get on with the broadcasting before our listeners decide to go to bed?' Peter waved the pages in the air.

'Are you sticking around, Lily?' Remus asked.

'Yes but next time, I want the respectable approach and be asked if I'd like to attend this little…boys club you have going on.' Lily lectured them.

'Yes, ma'am.' They all said in union.

'Fine, I will stay.' Lily agreed.

'Thanks for being good about this Lily.' Remus sighed in relief.

'Okay, well our first question is from FamousNoOne, who says that I should try to ask a girl on a date instead of kissing my pillow.' Peter frowned at the letter before slowly moving his eyes towards James.

'Said I was sorry, didn't I?' James shrugged. 'It's a brilliant advice, mate. We've been telling you that for years now.'

'Er..well perhaps I should try it.' Peter agreed.

'That's the way to do it!' Sirius encouraged.

'Reading on, FamousNoOne would like to know if you shampoo and condition every night as her hair is feeling rather dry.' Remus looked over at Sirius who was running his hands through his own hair.

'I know a few other girls who might like to hear you say on that.' Lily remarked.

'I'm born with a mane of wondrous hair.' Sirius sighed, as if it was a curse. 'However, I believe the answer to that question would be shampoo every other night but condition the ends on a nightly basic especially as the weather environment changes. It really depends on your climate and the state your hair is currently in and the damage you do to your hair if any at all. If you do anything with a muggle hot iron, I would suggest that you use the proper spray protection for heat. If you live in a heavily polluted area, you should wash daily but with gently shampoo.'

'What about my hair?' Lily leaned towards Sirius so he could touch her hair. 'I don't iron it but I do pull it up quite often.'

'Your hair is lovely, Evans.' Sirius rubbed a lock of red between his thumb and forefinger. 'However I would like to suggest that you could do with some shining oil. Just a twab amount and rub through your hair. Gives a great shine to that red.'

'FamousNoONe continues to say that Remus sings better.' Peter read over Remus' shoulder. 'She likes your voice.'

'Awwww….' The marauders choired together.

'As for James, FamousNoOne suggest that you should take a careful approach to Lily. Stop picking on Snape. Perhaps try to locate Lily in a neutral territory such as by the lake or in the library and just talk to her but nothing creepy. Tell her that she looks nice and continue on with a friendly conversation.' Remus shrugged. 'That was some good advice but care to tell the listener what happen?'

'Well…' James looked over at Lily, as if it were all her fault. 'I did find Evans at the library. She was there with Snape, probably doing some kind of study assignment.'

'We had an assignment due in the D.A.D.A class.' Lily reminded him.

'Any route, Snape suddenly had somewhere else to be…'

'You hexed his chair to leave the room and blast down the moving stairs!' Lily's voiced raised.

'You remember the day so well.' James patted her hand and she moved a little further away. 'So Snape leaves and I take that moment to advance carefully towards Lily.'

'You pushed a second year out of your path.' Lily argued.

'Well, yes luv. He was in my path.' James explained. 'So, I nudged him out of the way.'

'A nudge doesn't cause a person to tobble over a table, Potter.' Lily hissed.

'Let the boy tell the story.' Sirius said.

'Right. So I approached Evans. I told her that I wanted to have a polite and reasonable conversation with her. She started to go ballistic on me.' James went on.

'You were telling my breast that you wanted to have a conversation.' Lily gave James a death glare.

'Perhaps but I meant all of you, just not them.' James explained and Remus slapped his hand to his face.

'He's doing that sign language again.' Peter pointed to Remus. 'I think I am starting to figure it's meaning out. I think it means to shut up.'

'Let's move onto the next question.' Sirius hurried into the conversation to save James from Lily's vengeance. 'If anyone is interesting in finding out what happen, you may read it in the other story found in our story list.'

'Well the next question is interesting.' Remus read. 'This is from FredNeverDies.'

'That's the one that told us to galknap you, luv.' James explained.

'Since you listen so well to her, perhaps I shall ask that she request you to fall of your broom.' Lily added an innocent smile.

'That isn't very nice, Evans.' James scolded her. 'With no one to pilot my broom, there is no telling where it may end up.'

'Back to the questions.' Remus cut in. 'FredNeverDies would like to know if we were able to pick on person to rule the world, no marauders, who it would be?'

'What do they mean by no marauders?' Sirius asked. 'I'd make a bloody good ruler.'

'Obvious she knows the world would be a better place is someone else, anyone else ruled instead of you.' Lily replied.

'Why can't we gag her until a question is asked of her?' Sirius asked.

'She can answer the question as well.' Remus told him.

'Well I for one would like my house elf to rule.' James piped in.

'Brilliant, mate.' Sirius approved. 'Through your house elf, you shall rule. I too vote for James' house elf, as mine would cut my head off.'

'What say you, Peter?' James asked the well fed marauder.

'Um…I'm not sure.' Peter tapped his cheek as he thought.

'A vote for my house elf is a vote for me.' James explained. 'Not pressuring you or anything. Just saying so you know.'

'I vote for James' house elf.' Peter raised his hand.

Sirius reached up and pulled Peter's arm back down. 'We're not in class, mate.'

'That's a good question.' Lily chewed on it a bit. 'I don't believe I could give someone absolute power. I'd fear what an unstoppable person may be capable of doing.'

'I agree with Lily.' Remus nodded his head. 'Even a person who seems good and kind now, well power may corrupt them and there would be no one to stop them from reign in terror.'

'That is another reason you two should vote for my house elf.' James explained. 'I am already corrupted by Sirius. You know what you are getting.'

'Don't give me all the credit James.' Sirius laughed. 'You were doing just fine on your own before our paths crossed.'

'This question makes my head spin.' Peter grabbed the stacks of papers.'Fredneverdies would like to know what our favorite movie was as a child and what is it today. Well I remember my Mum taking me to see Willy Wonka and the Candy Factory. I love it and still do to this very day.'

'I remember seeing that as well.' Lily's eyes grew wide. 'I adored the Oompa Loompas as they sang!'

'What is an Oompa Loompas and can I get it gift wrapped for Lily?' James whispered to Sirius.

'I'm not sure, Prongs.' Sirius tossed it about. 'Might be something to do with a falling spell.'

'Precious is a wonderful film.' Lily considered. 'I'm not sure if I could say that I have the favorite as once I enjoy one film, another one is soon released.'

'I haven't seen a movie.' James shrugged. 'It's a muggle thing.'

'Never seen a movie either.' Sirius added. 'The Blacks don't do family night unless it is conspiring against half-bloods.'

'The Tenth Kingdom, I enjoyed when I was younger. Still do now.' Remus gave his answer.

'Next question from fredneverdies.' Peter continued. 'She would like to know in how many years would we consider a good time to settle down and have kids. Oh, James isn't allowed to answer.'

'Why not? What's wrong with my answer?' James frowned at Peter.

'The question was asked saying Remus should answer for you because you have partialities.' Peter shrugged. 'Sorry, just reading the message.'

'Why should anyone answer that question for me?' James sulk a bit more. 'It's my life. I'll have kids when I'm good and ready.' James looked over at Lily. 'You about ready?'

'Buggar off.' Lily hissed at him. 'As for me I'd like to finish my education, naturally. Settle into a career, have my own home and then get married. So I would say about twenty-five is a good age.'

'I don't think I could wait that long, luv.' James explained to her but she just growled at him.

'I am not sure if I want to produce another Black.' Sirius tapped his finger on the desk as he idly thought about the question. 'I think there might be too many Blacks about now. Well, if I answer with a year I would say about thirty years from now shouldn't be too bad. Gives me plenty of time to enjoy the playground, if you know what I mean.'

'Those rides get kind of small when you grow up.' Peter told him. 'I think I would like to start having kids once I'm out of school. Immediately. The sooner the better.'

'I don't believe I shall want to have children.' Remus said carefully. 'I would fear what the future may have in store for him or her. I'm not sure if I'd want to be burden with guilt if something horrible would happen.'

'You're supposed to read the rest.' Peter gave Remus the pages and pointed to a line. 'See, right there it says that you should read because you are patient and kind.'

'Awwww.' James and Sirius said together.

'Fine. Lily this question is for you.' Remus read. 'It's from Fredneverdies and she would like to know if James would change come character flaws, would you consider going out with him?'

'I don't have character flaws.' James stood up so everyone could see him. 'I am perfect inside as I am outside.'

'If he could stop picking on lower classmates…' Lily started.

'I am just preparing them for the real world. It's no candy land after Hogwarts.' James put in. 'They need toughen up.'

'Inflate his ego…' Lily went on.

'His ego helps balance all the hot air he spills out.' Sirius interjected.

'You're not helping.' James pouted.

'If he would stop breaking the rules.' Lily went on.

'It's not breaking the rules; it is testing the boundaries of the rules. Obviously there is a flaw in system or we wouldn't be able to break them.' James argued.

'If he would actually try to make an attempt on doing the assignments.' Lily continued.

'Between Quidditch, breaking rules, detention, eating, sleeping, showering and chasing you, I really don't have time to study.' James explained. 'My schedule is kind of full. Beside, why study when I know it.'

'If he would mature…' Lily ignored him.

'My heart is that of a child. I live to laugh. You'll see, you won't want me any other way.' James told her.

Lily rolled her eyes. 'Excuse not to grow up. But yes, if he would show signs of changing and if he would leave Sev along, I'd think about considering dating him.'

'Leave Snape alone?' James eyes widen. 'Just cut my soul out and feed it to a dementor.'

'And where would you see yourself ten years from now?' Remus still read from Fredneveridies's questions.

'Oh my. Ten years from now. Well I hope I am settled in with a good career. Aura would be nice if not a professor would also be great. I would hope that I learned enough useful spells to help my parents as they age. To voice about the socializing of pure blood families with that of mixed blood.'

'Moving on.' Sirius took a page from Remus. 'I will be reading questions from Idonotget. First question is what is the most stupid thing Prongs have ever done to get a date with Lily?'

'I don't think we have enough air time.' Remus frowned at the microphone, being quite serious.

'Oh I know!' Peter raised his hand and bounced in his seat. 'James, remember when you flying about the castle? Just barely above our heads? You asked Lily if you could sweep her off her feet but you weren't watching were you were going and hit the wall of the castle? That was pretty stupid.' Peter laughed.

James did not laugh.

'There was that time when you tried to convince her that you were a toad trapped in a boy's body and if she kissed you, she would had broken the magic spell that would allow you to be a toad again.' Remus pointed out, laughing as he did so. 'A-and she s-said that either way she would be kissing a toad and she rather not.'

'It wasn't funny.' James grumbled.

'No. It was when you passed out because we had to work with little slugs.' Sirius added his own memory. 'You were waking up and wanted her to do mouth-to-mouth on you but said the Heimlich instead so she thought you were eating slugs and were choking on them.'

'I didn't pass out. It was an act.' James made a face; he really did have a dislike of slugs.

'I believe it was the day he dressed up as me, to be me for a day.' Lily glared at him.

'I just thought I'd get a better understand of you and how you feel.' James explained, 'Let me tell you, it doesn't work.'

'Next question, If a giant troll is running down the street and bashing people, how would you stop it?' Sirius looked over at the Marauders and Lily.

'Trolls aren't very bright.' Peter thought. 'Perhaps we could kind of lead it away from all life forms.'

'Or we could do a body hex on it.' Lily added. 'Then we could movie it away.'

'Or a sleep drought potion would work. Perhaps one we could spray in his eyes.' Remus added.

'Well I say that we throw Snape in his path.' James looked over at Sirius.

'I second that as it would allow the clean citizens to find refuge. Then we could use our brooms to lead it off a cliff.' Sirius added to James' idea.

'You guys are terrible.' Lily huffed.

'What's the next question?' Remus asked trying to keep everyone on track.

'Next question ask if Voldemort would capture Me or Lily and was willing to spare only one of our lives and you had to pick, which life would you save?' Sirius shook his head. 'I don't like this question.'

'I'd pick Sirius.' Peter piped. 'Sorry, Evans but Marauders stick together.'

'I'd say it would be a trap.' Remus shook his head. 'There is no way Voldemort would let anyone walk away.'

'No need to pick.' James huffed. 'I'd save them both or die trying.'

'Love you guys.' Sirius mocked a tear away from his Lily bruising eye. 'Next question is what our favorite Shakespeare quote is?'

'Oh, I love Shakespeare.' Lily grinned.

'My favorite is from the Merchant of Venice, if you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?' Remus answered.

'Mine is, Men at some time are masters of their fate, a Julius Caesar quote.' Sirius grinned. 'See, I read.'

'Macbeth, There's daggers in men's smiles.' Peter answered.

'I adore Midsummer Night's Dream so a quote from that story would be Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.' Lily smiled warmly with thought.

'Doubt that the stars are fire. Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.' James gave Lily his famous Potter smile. 'That's my Shakespeare quote.'

Lily gave James a slight smile of approval and surprise..

'Next question. If you were one of the seven deadly sins being lust, greed, wrath, gluttony, sloth, envy or pride, which one would it be?' Sirius looked at the Marauders. 'I think we shall answer for each other. Remus, you are greed.'

'What?' Remus looked shocked.

'You go about keeping secrets from your friends. We had to find out about it ourselves. Then you beg us to not help you, that was pretty selfish because it was all about you hurting us not about how we might be hurting for not helping you.' Sirius ranted. 'Then you take the chocolate. Sharing chocolate with you is like trying to give Snape a bath.'

'Hey.' Lily folded her arms in disapproval motherish manner.

'Fine. Well…you are gluttony. You can never be satisfied with one thing, you want it all. A good time, the good girls, the good memories, all the attention, the drinks, and the pudding!' Remus shot back.

'Hey, let us leave the pudding out of this.' Sirius barked.

'Well, what am I?' Peter looked up at James.

'No doubt about it, you are envy.' James shrugged. 'Somethings are just too obvious.'

'Yeah. I suppose that is spot on.' Peter agreed with his idol.

'Pride is no doubt James' sin.' Lily snorted. 'You just have to be on top of everything and everyone is wrong if you think you are right. You will never walk away but stand and fight, even if the outcome is you being a bigger fool.'

'Say what you really mean.' James winced. 'Well I have to say that you would be wrath. Having all that anger inside of you is bound to win over common sense.'

'The next question is from Serenity.' Remus started to read the question.

'Where do we go when we just don't knowww…and how do we relight the flame when it's cold. Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing and when will we learn to controllllll.' James held up his hands in a sorry expression. 'Sorry. Every time I see that name, I hear the lyrics.'

'She would like to know have we ever, been given charmed Valentine's cards and candy?' Remus grinned.

'Yes!' Everyone answered together.

'Horrible things.' James shrived with reminiscences.

'So tempting but you know it's poisoned.' Remus added.

'Not cool to receive one in the middle of poring potions.' Sirius shook his head.

'It was cursed.' Peter whined.

'It felt like it was.' Lily glared at James.

'Man, there are a lot of questions.' James took a pile from the table. 'De Trapped would like to know if we had a magical compass that pointed to what we would want, where it would point.' James pointed to Lily. 'Not just her knockers either, all of her.'

'You…!' Lily smacked James' on the arm before pushing him off the chair. Once he was on the floor, she gave him a swift kick on the shins.

'Oi!' James rubbed his leg. 'Love does hurt.'

'The kitchen.' Peter said. 'My compass would point to the kitchen.'

'Mine would point to the lady of my dreams.' Sirius winked at the microphone, though no one could see it. 'You know who you are.'

'I think my would be the cure to diseases.' Remus thought carefully. 'How about you, Lily.'

'It would point to a peaceful world.' Lily answered. 'I have the next question. This is from Slugston and the question is asking what Snape's finer points are since everyone has them.'

'Excpet Snape.' James muttered as he climbed back on the chair.

'Snape is a very loyal friend.' Lily explained. 'He is very intelligent as well.'

'Great at hold grudges.' Remus mumbled.

'He's quite the sleuth, always seems to be hiding in shady places spying on people.' Sirius added.

'Let's not forget what dark potions he masters in the dark corners of his room.' James voiced his opinon.

'He looks like a vampire and some girls fancy that.' Peter added.

'Those aren't good qualities of a person.' Lily frowned at the Marauders.

'He's not a model citizen.' James quipped.

'And what? You are?' Lily huffed.

'Moving on to more rational things.' Sirious paged through the questions. 'Ah, here we go. Slugston would like to know what do we do to pass the time when we are sick and stuck in the hospital wing, or in your dorm?'

'Many things. I enjoy taking the quiet moments to read or catch up on homework.' Remus volunteered his answer. 'However I often receive visits from James, Sirius and Peter. I do enjoy those visits. We talk about everything or nothing at all. Tell jokes. Organization of hoaxes.'

'Play snaps.' James added. 'Bother any Slitherins that may be there.'

'Eat chocolate.' Sirius thought about it. 'Pretend we are snoring quite loudly.'

'This person doesn't give a name but they would like to know what you boys would do if you found out one of you were gay.' Lily looked over at James hopefully.

'Sorry, luv. I'm throwing my balls in your court.' James made a panic looks. 'Sorry, that was one of those things I should have thought about before I said them.'

'We would probably throw a coming out party.' Sirius smiled.

'Maybe redecorate our rooms.' Peter suggested. 'Lavender is a pretty colour.'

'I got the next question. This is from Mellom. She is very sorry for those uncomfortable questions, Remus. I personally am not because I thought you were hilarious but you are her favourite so it matters to her. She goes on about some non-sense of being good looking and clever. Blah, rubbish.' James pushed his glasses up further on his nose. Sirius made a grab for them but James backed his head from his reach.

'Thanks James.' Remus voice was thick with sarcasm.

'Mellom would like to know if we have ever been so drunk that we done something not-so-smart? If yes, what is the most stupid and/or hilarious thing we have done together while being drunk?' James looked over at the other Marauders. 'What haven't we done?'

'We have been drunk but this is something we don't endorse.' Remus added quickly. 'However there is a fine line between stupid things we did while intoxicated and stupid things we've done while sober.'

'Ugh. I can't think of anything.' Sirius puffed out. 'We've tried dancing with the willow tree, that wasn't bright at all.'

'Flying while drunk isn't one of our finest hours either.' James grinned. 'I came that close to hitting the jet.'

'Serenading Professor McGonagall was pretty stupid.' Peter stared blankly, recalling that moment.

'Getting on one of those spinners at a muggle playground was really stupid.' Sirius shivered. 'Vomit just flies everywhere.'

'Well, the girls in my dorm went skinny dipping at the lake. It was freezing a-and..' Lily looked over at the boys.

'When was this?' Sirius slid to the edge of his chair.

'Do you girls do this every year?' Remus asked as he leaned forward.

'How many were there?' Peter asked.

'You were totally in the nude?' James asked.

'As you boys never did it before.' Lily rolled her eyes.

'We aren't judging.' Sirius held up his hand. 'I think it's great you girls get along with nature by being all natural and free of all clothing.'

'Perhaps next time you should have someone you trust to watch your back.' Remus suggested.

'Or maybe tell us what evening you are going skinny dipping again so we, you know, stay in the castle.' James winked at the boys.

'Perhaps we should just move onto the next question.' Lily suggested as she picked up a question sheet. 'RandomFandom5 says her name is Hope. That's a lovely name.'

'We didn't guess Hope, did we?' Remus watched the others shake their heads no.

'Guess Pete's going to have to give up that child of his.' Sirius gave Peter a sorry look.

'Buggers.' Peter snapped his fingers. 'I was going to get James to name it and everything.'

'She goes on to ask what your favourite colors are and how that streaking went.' Lily waved the pages in front of her. 'From girls point of view, Hope. All went very well.'

'You have a dirty mind.' James tisked at her. 'That's sexy. Will you marry me?'

'No.' Lily answered.

'I think we should tell the full story in another story format. But to summarize it all, we have more fans than what we did before the adventure.' Remus explained. 'We also received detention with all our attention.'

'Even me. I might get a date now.' Peter smiled.

'It was probably the first time Hogwarts ladies used up all cold water for their showers.' Sirius grinned, flexing an arm muscle.

'Moving to favourite colours I think mine would be a soft gold.' Remus answered. 'It reminds me of a warm fire place.'

'Yellow like the sun.' Peter pointed up to the potion's room ceiling.

'Shades of blues are mine as I look great in them.' Sirius explained.

'Green like Lily's eyes.' James looked over at Lily. 'Prettier than any gem.'

'I like the colours of Autumn where many colours blend together.' Lily answered. 'So I haven't got just one colour.'

'Ah, Vinnie writes about a boggart in his drawers.' Remus shook his head. 'Clearly he needs to spend more time on his mythical beast studies. You will need to use the Boggart Banishing Spell. In order to do so, you must force it the Boggart into a shape that would make you laugh. Thus being, to cast the spell, it is necessary to concentrate on a comical form for the Boggart to initially take, and then say its incantation, Riddikulus. If the charm is cast correctly, the creature will then assume said funny shape, causing its caster to laugh and the Boggart to be repelled.'

'Best do it with a buddy.' Peter added. 'It will get confused on what shape to take so you have more time on your hands.'

'That seems to be the end.' Sirius sighed. 'It has been a long one. I'm thirsty and my butt is numb. Say, Remus how goes that poll?'

'The poll was based on who sang better. The poll reads eight votes with only one for James.' Remus read.

'It was rigged.' James mumbled.

'Two votes for Sirius. Two votes for Peter and three votes for me.' Remus ignored James.

'What should our next poll be about?' Peter asked.

'Pudding.' Sirius snapped to attention. 'Favourite flavours of pudding.'

'Sure, why not.' Remus looked over at James. 'Do we have any shout outs?'

'Only my own.' James turned to Lily. 'You know how it goes.'

'I do and please don't do it.' Lily asked.

'That's it than folks. I hope you like tonight's broadcast. Keep those questions coming. Never apologies for a question, we enjoy them all.' Remus concluded. 'Our special guest star, Miss Lily Evans turned out to be a success so maybe you can come back without being tussled.'

'But I can still carry you.' James smiled but winced at an afterthought. 'Not before a Quidditch game though. I have to save my strength.'

'Exactly what are you implying?' Lily stood up with wand ready.

'Obviously not what you are thinking I am implying.' James held up both hands of an unarmed man.

'Oh no…' Sirius stood up. 'Lil's put the wand away.'

'Thanks for tuning in.' Peter hurried to shut off the equipment.

* * *

_A/N Thanks so much for the great feedback and the questions, you guys rock with them. Seriously, this story is based on them and you give me ideas with those questions so I thank you in return for making this come alive. I am truly sorry for all the mistakes this page will have as it is hot off the press so-to-speak and I did not proof-read. I'm bad, I know but I'm not going to have time this week to review what I wrote. Sorry. Burn me at the stake later, kay._


	7. Chapter 7

'Good evening to all my adoring fans out there!' James practically screamed into the microphone. 'Today we are bringing Live from Hogwarts to you from the highest tower of Hogwarts! The Astronomy Tower!'

Remus reached over the table in order to remove the microphone from James' hand. 'For those who do not know the Astronomy tower is where one of our lessons is held. We study…'

'They don't care.' James took the microphone away from Remus.

'They do care.' Remus took the microphone back. 'We study the stars and the moon in the tower. This is because the tower is the highest point of Hogwarts. It lays above the fronts doors, coming into the castle.'

'Not. Not. Not.' James took the microphone back. 'They care not a lot. Now moving on to much more exciting news, Quidditch…'

Remus quickly took the microphone back. 'The tower is surrounded by a parapet. For those who don't know what a parapet is, let me explain.'

'No don't.' James took the microphone back. 'This is boring and I don't want to do boring today. You should do it on your Educational Hour. When all those anti-social-study-holics discuss reports and homework. This is the Marauders' Hour.'

'Guys. Guys.' Sirius shook his head in disappointment. 'Share the air waves.'

'Fine.' Remus sulked. 'But if we get questions about parapet, it's on your conscience.'

'That is debatable.' James remarked. 'Well it doesn't seem as we have many letters this week. Thus, our homework was done and other duties were served.'

Remus sighed, a bit too loudly and dug around his robe pockets for some chocolate goodies. As this is a very delicious remedy to ease stress and calm the soul. He came out with empty pockets. 'Someone ate my chocolate.'

'No one ate your chocolate.' Sirius grinned devious, which was quite natural.

'Is that chocolate?' Remus asked, actually poking his finger into the corner of James' mouth.

'No.' James backed his head away from Remus' index finger and wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt.

'That was chocolate.' Remus turned his glare on Sirius. 'You ate my chocolate?'

'Me?' James eyes grew wide with innocence. 'No, mate. It wasn't chocolate. It was um…caramel.'

'Someone…' Remus head started to turn to Peter.

'Wasn't me.' Peter shook his head.

Remus turned towards Sirius.

'I didn't touch your bloody chocolate.' Sirius glared back at the wolf boy.

'Can we please get on with these letters?' James asked. 'Lily is going to be doing her rounds and I want to get caught by her.'

'You consume my chocolates and now you want to dock more points from our house?' Remus snapped.

'You have your addictions and I have mine.' James shrugged.

'I'm going to find out which one of you ate it and then I'm going to push you off the tower!' Remus glared at all three of his friends, his finally stare stopped at Peter who immediately started to fidget. 'Peter. You know what I am capable of doing, don't you? I'm gifted, I'm talented with my skills and I can make you suffer. I think it would be extremely wise if you speak up now.'

'Hold your tongue or I'll flare it with boils.' Sirius warned Peter. 'You can't go about turning the Marauders' against each other, Remus. '

'This is serious, Padfoot. Someone took my chocolate and I'm going to hex the one who did!' Remus growled. 'James!'

'It was caramel!' James explained.

'I'll do a broom burn if you don't fess up.' Remus threatened.

'W-what? What did she ever do to you? You cannot go about threating her just for something I may or may not have done!' James cried. 'Where is your reasoning? Your rationality? Have you no humanity?'

'It's a broom, James. Not a person. And my rationality is a side effect of the chocolate. If I don't have my chocolate, you don't have rationality.' Remus rumbled.

'James? I believe later you and I will need to sit down and have a man to boy talk about people and objects, such as brooms.' Sirius sighed with pity.

'I think we should move onto the letters.' Peter piped in, taking a page from James.

'I still think it was James who took the chocolate.' Remus muttered.

'The first letter is from Serenity and she says that sometimes she can see the moon during the daytime hours and it is full. She would like to know how this effect werewolves?'

'That was chocolate around his mouth…' Remus spoke softly.

'That is a very good question, Serenity.' James ignored Remus. 'How would you answer that Peter?'

'Um…' Peter shuffled in his seat. 'I don't really know. They get cranky, that's for sure.'

'Going to suffocate him with a sock.' Remus went on.

'I took muggle studies, let me explain.' Sirius showed his know-all-face to the boys. 'Think of it as a lighting bulb.'

'Lighting bulb?' James asked.

'Then I'm going to cut off all his hair…' Remus continued to carry on his own conversation.

'Yes, it is how the muggle see in the dark. They trap this lighting rode inside a glass bulb.' Sirius explained.

'Amazing.' James whistled. 'I always thought lighting couldn't be contained and non-magical folks did this? Impressive.'

'Going to tie him up and let Myrtle have her way….' Remus started to jot down his torture plan.

'I didn't take your bloody chocolate!' James punched Remus in the arm.

Remus retaliated by returning the punch that caused James to fall out of the chair sideways. 'I'm going to tell Lily all about your perverted fantasies!'

'Yes. Well think of the moon as your basic lighting bulb. When the lighting bulb is off, nothing happens. You can see it but there isn't any light until you turn the lighting on. The moon is the same way. It's not turned on until the sun is in the right place to reflected its light onto the moon, which than is casted upon earth. So in short, during the daytime the moon is not turned on.' Sirius explained.

'I'm going to pour slugs over him while he is sleeping.' Remus hurried to write his next idea down on page.

'You are really starting to scare me.' James explained but Remus didn't really seem too concern.

'The next letter is from FamousNoOne who says James should apologize to Lily for galknapping her and give her some favorite candies…' Peter read.

'But not chocolates because you eat it!' Remus lashed out.

'Did not.' James pouted.

'And you were extremely out of line.' Peter continued.

'See!' Remus pointed to the letter. 'Even FamousNoOne knows you were out of line!'

'About Evans not 'bout the chocolate!' James yelled back.

'Sirius, you too should apologize to Lily?' Peter went on.

'Me?' Sirius asked. 'I was just doing a request for the letter.'

'And I should ask Martha Abbot on a date because she is single and she was making eyes at me yesterday in Potions.' Peter read it twice. 'She was?'

'Har-har!' Sirius laughed. 'Someone likes our lil Peter!'

'I'm so proud of you, Pete!' James patted the top of his head.

'Maybe I will ask her then.' Peter smiled, his cheeks getting a bit red.

'Maybe put acid in his eyes.' Remus tapped his chin.

'I can't see enough as it is!' James explained. 'Blinding me would be pretty pointless.'

'Hey, Remus? FamousNoOne would like to know if you two can meet up at Hogsmeade this weekend? She knows all about your condition.' Peter looked over at the wolf boy.

'Is she going to bring chocolate?' Remus asked. 'Cause I might if she brings some chocolate for me.'

'What are you going to bring her?' Sirius asked. 'Normally, it is the guy who gives the girl chocolate.'

'James ate my chocolates!' Remus reminded him.

'It was caramel…. FredNeverDies says, Hey! Almost all of the questions you credited FamousNoOne with were MINE! On the grounds of my genius being unannounced I refuse to give u anymore feedback or question material until I get my proper credentials! Sincerely not FamousNoOne, FREDNEVERDIED!' James read. 'Well it looks like someone has gone quite sour on us.'

'Our mistake and to clear it all up, the mix up has been fixed the next day. We send our apologies to you. But understand if you do not have any questions for the future.' Sirius added.

'Detrapped seems to have some good questions in his letters.' James glanced over the sheet. 'First question is if we had no idea of our age or anyone's age around us, what age would we say we are?'

'Never thought of that.' Sirius sighed, thinking on the question seriously. 'Twenty–nine. I feel like I am old enough to explore the world with my youth but not as naïve as most.'

'Um…' Peter shrugged. 'Seventeen I guess.'

'Eleven.' James shrugged. 'Unless Lily is around, than I feel older.'

'With or without chocolate?' Remus asked.

'Can you drop it? You're getting blooding annoying.' James muttered.

'I will remember that the next time your broom goes missing.' Remus replied.

'My broom has never gone missing.' James gave him a confused look.

'Not yet…' Remus sang.

'Y-you wouldn't!' James eyes went large.

'Detrapped would like to know something you know you do differently than most people?' Peter looked over at Sirius.

'Well on air, I suppose we cannot truly answer that so I would have to say um…' Sirius shook his head. 'That is a tough one. I think taking a different look on something. Like if someone would compare someone else to a rose, to most that would be a beautiful thing. To me, a rose dies much too quickly so wouldn't that apply that the person lost their looks too quickly? Or that someone is sweet like sugar…well sugar isn't all that healthy for you and it's a bit rough and looks a lot like salt.'

'Yep, that would be thinking differently.' James agreed.

'Run.' Peter piped in. 'I am told by many that I run like a penguin.'

'Woo Lily over.' James admitted.

'Yeah, no one is touching you on that one mate.' Sirius laughed.

'My friends know what I do differently but I'd like to keep it between them. Apparently, chocolate is to be shared as well.' Remus answered.

'I told you that one before.' Sirius looked over him. 'You're greedy with your chocolate.'

'I shared with James, unknowingly.' Remus remarked.

'I didn't take your bloody chocolate.' James said once again. 'Next question from Detrapped, Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?'

'Yes!' Remus looked over at James.

'What? Me? Are you seriously looking at me? You're the one planning to make me sleep with slugs!' James whined. 'I don't like those things! They are silent, wet, gross, snotty killers!'

'I believe you can know some things that are good and evil but not everything is cut into black and white segments.' Sirius explained. 'Let us take James for an example. He is a good person who does bad things.'

'Hey. You do bad things too.' James sulked. 'And you like it.'

'Last question is from slugston who would like to know when is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?' Peter looked around at the group.

'You stop with the calculation as soon as you know what is right.' James answered. 'One shouldn't need to look at the rewards or the risk for an excuse of not doing what is right. You suck it up and you do the right thing. Like Lily, she should just go on a date with me because it is the right thing to do. Stop thinking about what the risk of dating me might entail and just do it.'

'Well that sums up our meeting. This turned to be quite a short night. Please keep those letters coming. We appreciate hearing form everyone.' Sirius said.

'The new poll will be who you think ate Remus chocolates.' Peter grinned.

'It was James!' Remus growled. 'He had chocolate on his face.'

'Caramel.' James explained. 'The results from last week's poll for favorite pudding was two for chocolate, two for vanilla and one for banana.'

'Last shout outs for today…' Remus added, 'From James to Lily.'

'Love you Lils! Sorry for galknapping you!' James grinned.

'And a shout out to all of our fans from the Marauders.' Sirius added, taking James' glasses.

'Why are you fascinated with my specs?' James huffed.


	8. Chapter 8

'Good Evening. This is the Marauders' Hour and we are bringing Live at Hogwarts to you from the Shrieking Shack!' Sirius howled out an evil laughter.

'There is a special reason we are huddled in this ransacked abode, a very good reason. For those who believe they know all of our secrets, well you are wrong! So very wrong! The reason we are here is because of this!' James held up a box to the microphone. He blinked for a moment, 'Which you cannot see so I will explain.'

'No! Let me, Prongs.' Sirius jumped up to the have a go. 'I am the expert of Muggle Studies, after all.'

'I feel the need to remind you that I too am in that class and I do amazing well.' James pushed his glasses up on his nose.

'Perhaps but the reason we are taking the class differs and since mine differs in the more educational way, as I honestly have in interest in the study while you have an interest in a muggle born witch, I rule the class with my intelligence.' Sirius pointed out.

'Nah-uh.' James shook his head.

'Just let Sirius enlighten our viewers about the box.' Remus said.

'But…' James huffed.

'James.' Remus said more sternly.

'It isn't fair. Not at all.' James puffed.

'You can explain about the next thing we bring to our air show.' Remus reasoned.

'But I want to talk about this!' James shook the box in his hand.

'He said I could.' Sirius took the box from James' hands.

'Give it back!' James took it back from Sirius. 'You don't need to explain and hold the box too!'

'Uh-huh.' Sirius made a grab for the box but James twisted away from him. 'Remus, tell Prongs to give me the box!'

'Give it to me!' Remus stood up and reached the box from James' hands. 'Peter, explained about the bloody game!'

'Uh.' Peter blinked at the box in Remus' hands.

'He doesn't even know what it's all about!' Sirius pointed a finger at Peter. 'And you said I could do all the explaining. It was my idea after all.'

'I'm not going to waste an hour with you and James fighting over who says what and who holds what.' Remus argued.

James stuck out his tongue at Sirius.

'Sod off.' Sirius pushed James, causing him to tumble off his stool.

'That wasn't necessary, Sirius.' Remus pointed out.

James dusted his backside off and replaced his chair correctly and as he sat down, he scuffed Sirius in the back of the head hard enough for the other boy to jolt forward.

'That is enough!' Remus yelled. 'James, go sit on the other side of Peter.'

'He started it.' James grumbled but grabbed his chair, dragging it across the creaking floorboards and slamming it down beside Peter.

Peter looked up at James with a huge smile on his face, which sometimes Sirius thought showed more than idolism. James smiled back at him, as though he was never mad in the first place.

'Right. Now that is sorted, I apology to our listeners.' Remus went on to explain about the box. 'This is a muggle's game board. It's called an Ouija board or a spirit board. It's a flat brown, wooden board with numbers, letters, and simple words such as yes and no. There are a few symbols at the corners of the board. Two stars at the bottom corners, a star and a moon at the top left and on the right is a large single star. What you do with this board is ask it a question and if a spirit is among us, they will answer the question for you.'

'Sirius did think of this and we decided to bring it to the shack because it's creepy here.' Peter gave Remus an apologizing look. 'Sorry.'

'Yes, well the decorations are to blame, I suppose.' Remus looked around the scarred walls with huge rips in the wallpaper. 'The shrieking shack does have a mad story behind it being haunted, thus we felt it was a just place to try the game out.'

'So we have the board laid before us on a table.' Peter explained. 'However, the fact that we live with ghost sort of takes the fun away from the board.'

'But it is a board about spirits not ghost.' Sirius reminded them.

'What's the difference?' Peter asked.

'Ghost you can see, spirits you cannot.' Sirius explained.

'Ghost and spirits are the same. The spirit of a person is reflected upon us in a ghostly manner in order to see it. If it doesn't wish to be seen then its spirit stays hidden.' James argued.

'Going on, what we are going to do is answer the question and see if the board has its own answer.' Remus explained.

'I don't think it will work because you are to ask it straight up and yes or no question.' James piped in.

'It's the thrill behind the games, Prongs.' Sirius threw at him.

'Okay so I divided up the questions between the four of us.' Remus turn to James, 'Why don't you go first and we'll go next in line.'

'RandomFandom5 sent a letter that says, Cool! You have the same favorite color as me, Peter.' James looked over at his smaller friend, who was beaming.

'Wow, I have something in common with someone.' Peter told him. 'And it's a girl!'

'Sure do!' James patted him on the head. 'She continues saying that understands my bad vision and that Sirius should leave my glasses well alone.'

'She doesn't say that.' Sirius glared at over at his best friend.

'Not directly but the hidden meaning is clearly there.' James pointed out. 'She thinks that Sirius abnormal way of thinking is interesting.'

'You are strange and she fines it interesting, mate. What can I say?' James shrugged.

'I know that she doesn't say that I am abnormal!' Sirius looked over at Remus. 'Are you going to let him make things up? He's interpreting things against me on purpose!'

'Nark.' James grumbled.

'I need a sedative.' Remus rubbed his eyes. 'Prongs, read the letters correctly or you won't read any at all.'

'Fine.' James said crossly. 'She thinks that Sirius took your chocolate, Remus.'

'He's doing it again!' Sirius barked.

'Am not!' James showed Peter the letter.

'No, it says that.' Peter confirmed.

'Random5 question is if we read the Lord of the Rings and what character to we favor.' James smiled brightly. 'Yes a few of us had read it. In fact I read the original additions and let me tell you it was hard to get through. There was a lot of boring and useless information but the cut series wasn't so bad. I like the Orcs, myself. I found them to be highly amusing. They were all growly and grunting and in your face with clubs and hit the battles face on. However, after we read this question previous to our air showing, we did a test to see which character we fit. I am most like Aragorn. Sounds 'bout right, eh?'

'My quiz said I am more like Pippen.' Peter said.

'Alas, I wanted to be Gollum but instead I am Boromir.' Sirius stated.

'And I fell under Elrond.' Remus added his results.

'But we all find Gollum to be more interesting than any other characters.' Sirius said. 'Well, except for James who likes the Orcs. But let us see what the game as to say!'

They all looked at the game, sitting motionlessly.

James made some grunting sounds like an Orc. 'It says nothing.'

'This question is from FamousNoOne.' Peter began his reading his letter. 'She says that James did a good job on apologizing for Evans.'

'I am remarkable.' James shrugged.

'She also says you need to apologize to Remus for nicking his chocolates.' Peter went on.

'I knew it!' Remus looked over at James.

'It was Carmel!' James argued.

'Famous would also like to know what you use on your broom as she would like to give a gift to a friend.' Peter sighed, knowing that this simple question would expose them all to an endless discussion about Quidditch.

'That would depend on the type of broom you have and the type of weather you currently are under. Not all brooms are made out of the same tree, thus the structure of the broom itself is different. Plus some broom industries used compacted wood as a recycling project so they would need better protections as the wood is compressed artificially together and…'

'Just tell her what you use.' Remus cut him off.

'It's a Potter recipe, actually. Mum uses it on the floors but works great on brooms as well.' James explained. 'You use beeswax and olive oil, heat it up until there is no lumps. You add a bit of essential oil, I use pine but Mum uses lemon, and put the oil to the pot. Stir a bit and you have a great polish for your broom stick.'

'He makes it during potions class.' Sirius explained.

'Ask Ouija.' Peter looked down at the board hopefully.

'Okay. Ouija, what is a good polish to use on a broomstick?' Sirius asked and he waited.

They all waited.

'Continuing on with the letter, Famous would like to know why it seems that I am the only one always acting normal on the air.'

'Heeyyy.' Sirius frowned. 'I'm not sure if I should be offended or happy.'

'Well, that is a good question and let me toss this at you; it could be the fact that I am a person of normalcy. I am that everyday person you would meet on the street. I mean, look at Sirius. He's corrupted with plaques of injustice because of how his parents raised him. He's eager to fight, snogs shamelessly, and has no aim of wanting to settle down and very likely to be a bit mad. And James', there is nothing normal about him. He's furiously loyal, unpredictable, has an energetic personality of a two year old that ate a box of chocolate at one go, and he has an mysterious row of good luck.' Peter turned to Remus, 'and this chap has nothing but misfortune, illness that will hound him for existence but still has a compassion for life. I am short, over-weight, average knowledge of basic concepts, going with the flow of things. I am your basic normal person.'

'Wow.' James gave a whistle. 'That is the most you said in a long time.'

'What does the board say?' Sirius looked down at the wooden plate, frowning. 'I am getting very disappointed in this thing.'

'I believe Ouija is giving us the silent treatment.' James frowned.

'Maybe we should have read the instructions.' Remus thought out loud.

'How hard could it be? There aren't any pieces to place together.' Peter shrugged. 'Sirius, Famous would like to know if you were forced to choose between getting your hair cut off and getting hit with a Bludger, which would be an appropriate punishment for you stealing Remus' chocolate? I know it wasn't just James.'

'Told you!' James pointed over at Remus. 'I didn't do it!'

'Well neither did I!' Sirius huffed. 'Of course I would take the bludger hit. It would be the manly thing to do, not get a haircut. Plus, girls like to nurse me back to health.'

'Remus if FamousNoOne agrees to the pound of chocolates, would you meet her at Hogsmeade?' Peter asked.

'This weekend, at Hogs Head.' Remus agreed, 'But don't forget the chocolate.'

'And we'll be there.' James pointed to Sirius and Peter. 'I'm not passing up on free chocolate…and before you say it, Moony. It was caramel.'

'This letter is from FredNeverDied. She would like to know what is a parapet, a cupola, a battlement and the significance of a pointed archway.' Remus looked over at James. 'I told you this would happen.'

'Can't we skip to more important questions?' James whined.

'A parapet is a like a wall at the edge of a roof while a cupola is a dome like building on top of the roof. A battlement in defensive area on a roof, in films you will mostly see castles with archers in these areas. Arches are significant because it provides a structure that helps eliminates tensions in spanning a great amount of open space.' Remus explained.

'Arches also help you get through the wall instead of over it.' Peter added.

'Proceeding on, Fred would like to know how many of us haven't got underpants on.' Remus frowned. 'I believe this is a bit personal and probably…'

'I'm not.' Sirius admitted. 'Only because I just came from somewhere with someone and it was dark, I couldn't find them.'

'I'm not.' Peter raised his hand. 'Only because I haven't gotten them back from the wash.'

'Well I am.' James spoke up. 'But only because my mother tells me I should.'

'Naturally I am.' Remus sighed. 'Fred would like to know the best way to get a boyfriend.'

'Bribe them with chocolate.' Peter winked at Remus.

'Wait.' Sirius stopped Remus from replying to James' tease. 'What kind of boy friend is this to be? A friend that is a boy or a boy you want to be very friendly with? There is a difference.'

'Nah.' James shook his head. 'Just play Quidditch.'

'Quidditch isn't the answer to everything.' Remus told James.

'In 1953, one of the world's greastest Quidditch matches ever to be played, as it lasted over seven days, ended with Glynnis Griffiths caught the snitch and…'

'The point?' Remus asked.

'The point is that captain of the Heidelberg Harriers, Rudolf Brand jumped off his broom once the game ended and asked his opposite number, Gwendolyn Morgan from the Holyhead Harpies to marry him.' James explained. 'Quidditch attracted his attention to her.'

'Did she say yes?' Peter asked.

'Well…no. She gave him a concussion with her Cleansweep Five, a solid broomstick.' James shrugged. 'However, if she wanted a boyfriend she would have him just because she played Quidditch.'

'The next question from Fred is if we woke up in the morning and found out that our gender had switch to that of a girl, what is the first thing we would do and nothing perverted.'

'That's all I got.' Sirius held his hands up.

'Yeah, I'm coming up with a lot of naughty thoughts myself.' James grinned. 'Very naughty. Er…it just shot into adult mode.'

'I think I would go to the hospital wing.' Peter thought.

'I too would go to the hospital wing, after being cured I'd hexed the instigator severally.' Remus answered.

'Still got those naughty thoughts.' James shrugged. 'Oh wait! Almost have something….Okay! I'd use my new gender to get close to Lily in order to plant the idea of dating me into her head and then I'd go to the hospital ward to have myself turned back to my awesomeness boy self.'

'I think it would be best if I did not answer and simply say that I would not be able to handle that kind of girl power.' Sirius smiled deviously. 'The letter I received is from a new viewer, welcome to our show RangerManaInSnuggieWar who would rather go by Mana because it simples things.'

'I don't know. Snuggie is kind of neat. Snuggie wars!' James laughed. 'It's a blankly fight!' A toss of the dummy!'

'As you can see, James loves your name.' Sirius grinned. 'She would like to know if Marlene and I ever been in a relationship. Ah, you know that saying a gentleman never tells.'

'Which translates to tell all without actually saying it.' James explained. 'Marlene and Sirius are off and on again. It's how it works for them.'

'Remus, if you had to choose between your friends and chocolate, which would you choose? This is a question asked by Mana.' Sirius looked over at Remus. 'Chocolate or friends?'

'That's like an instant answer.' James looked over at the silent wolf boy. 'What's to ponder.'

'Well chocolate has a calming effect on me while you three…' Remus weighed the good and bad. 'Ah, friends. Chocolates are easier to come by but good friends are rare.'

'Aw, he loves us!' Peter squealed.

'Mana would like to dare Prongs to go a whole day without talking or stalking Evans.' Sirius gave whistle. 'A challenge! Do accept?'

'A whole day? Er…well,' James ran his hands through his hair. 'Do I get to pick the day?'

'I suppose.' Sirius looked over at the note. 'Doesn't really say about rules.'

'So I could pick the day that I have four hours of practice, detention and during a full moon help keep my mind off my wicket witch.' James nodded. 'I'll work it into the schedule. Just one day.'

'That's my boy!' Sirius grinned. 'Never back down from a dare. Manga is giving Peter a um…well a bit advice. Something about staying away from silver hands.'

'Silver hands?' Peter frowned. 'Are you guys planning to hex the armor again?'

'Wasn't thinking about it but it is always a possibility.' James shrugged.

'All together, what are your favorite gemstones and types of flowers? James, you can't answer because she knows you will say emeralds and lilies.' Sirius chewed on his bottom lip. 'I'm not sure any of us are really interested to any flower at all. Naturally we do honor Remembrance Day, hence a poppy has a significant meaning to us all. We haven't got a flower in our dorm at all. However, I would say if I had to care for a flower it would be the Dracunculus vulgaris or also known as the Black Dragon or Dragonwort as gem I suppose um…ruby.'

'I'm saying opal for a gem stone. I'm not really familiar with gems. As Sirius had mention, we do all very much support Remembrance Day and poppies just seem natural flower to pick. Another flower I would pick would be the river water crowfoot. Gives rivers a bit of colour.'

'Hooker's Fleabane would be the flower of my choice. It reminds me of rays me of sunny days. I suppose I could go with Citrine as a nice looking gem.' Peter stated.

'Our next sets of questions are from Serenity.' James read. 'What is your most treasured possession? Remember, a person isn't a possession. Whose are your heroes?'

'Oh well, I would have to say I value my mother as a hero.' Remus answered. 'She hasn't had it easy for a long time but she never walks away from the hard times. As what I value, friendship is high on my list. Though is probably isn't what some believe to be a possession but I disagree. I have it.'

'I'm still searching for a hero.' Sirius shrugged. 'Haven't seen anyone that takes that mark. I think Remus answer of friendship is something we all hold high.'

'That's all true but these fellows don't own a broomstick like mine.' James rolled his eyes. 'Kennilworthy Whisp would be someone I could place on a hero list.'

'For those who don't know, he is the author of Quidditch Through the Ages.' Peter piped in.

'What does Ouija have to say?' Sirius shook the board a little to get it to move.

'It says one.' James frowned, tapped the board a bit. 'Now it is pointing to the star on the right corner.'

'So that means….' Peter looked around.

'One night.' Remus shrugged.

'Detrap has three questions for us.' Peter read. 'If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? Which words or phrases do you most overuse? What is one strong memory that has stuck with you from childhood?'

'What does detrap mean by coming back as a person? Are we not peopling already?' Sirius asked.

'I believe detrap means to come back by as another person or a better person.' Remus helped.

'What's wrong with coming back as myself?' James asked.

'Well I think I would want to come back as a dragon.' Peter chimed in. 'No one messes with a dragon. They are respected creatures. The best childhood memory I have to say is the day I first used magic. I was a late in progressing signs of any magical abilities. As for words or phrases I probably say….'

'Ugh! I hate this assignment!' James hurriedly said. 'You say that often, mate.'

'This one time I was playing at a child playground, strictly for pure blood mind you.' Sirius started. 'There was this little thin kid standing at the gates, his mother encouraging him to play with us. Be raised as I have, it didn't take long to notice that his mother was a muggle. I wasn't the only one who noticed that either. Once the kid was in the center of the play area, he was verbally attacked by the others. I'm not sure who was the first person to call him a mudblood, I wasn't sure who was the first person to tell him that he wasn't allowed among us nor who said that he and his mother wasn't worth existence but I was the first person to throw the stone. I didn't think. I just picked it up and gave it a toss in his direction and other pure bloods followed. He had welts, bruises and a gash on his forehead. His mother received taunts and someone spit on her. While his mother rushed him away, shielding him with her body, my own mother received me with open arms. I remember seeing that kid look over his shoulder at us, blood rolling down his face. He hadn't a clue of our reason. That day haunts me. I swore I would never be that child again. It wasn't worth my mother's approval.'

'You aren't that child.' James told him. 'You never were or you wouldn't have watched them leave. You wouldn't have remembered and you certainly wouldn't have felt guilty.'

'Well that was then and today is now.' Sirius went on. 'As what or who I would come back as I probably would say the Whomping Willow wouldn't be so bad to come back as.'

'Get to smack people around a bit.' James grinned.

'What do I over use?' Sirius asked his friends.

'Broom closet is used often.' Remus thought.

'Got Éclairs, you say that often.' James replied.

'Sod off.' Peter piped in.

'I suppose it is my turn. My best memory from childhood is the book of Hogwarts my father gave me.' Remus held both hands in the air. 'I'm sure everyone is rolling their eyes but at the time, I did not believe I was well enough to come to Hogwarts about it was the only way to experience it. I was so thrilled that day. Money was tight and the book was costly but my father manage to put a few coins aside just for that book. It was my best childhood present and I still have that book to remind me of small pleasures.'

'Aw, you were a little bookish boy back then as well!' James smiled.

'As for coming back again, that's a bit hard to answer.' Remus ignored James comment. 'Perhaps I'd join Pete in becoming a dragon. A magical dragon.'

'Remus most used phase is you guys are giving me a headache.' James mimicked Remus.

'And, don't get caught!' Sirius added.

'And, who ate my chocolates!' Peter added.

'My turn!' James bounced in his chair. 'I seriously would like to come back as myself. I cannot think of a better person I would be other than myself. So I'd die then come back to life. I know a lot of people think I'd pick a broomstick but brooms become advance over years and I'd be old and recycled or forgotten. As childhood memories go, well I have a lot. I won't deny that I am blessed with wonderful parents who give into all my cravings. We traveled the world. We dined everywhere been everywhere and seen everything. I always knew happiness and I always knew love. I don't know what it is like to go without a meal. I don't know what it is like to wonder where I'd be sleeping next. I am blessed and my greatest memories overlap and continue to be made.'

'As to what he says the most is Quidditch.' Sirius answered.

'And Lily Evans.' Remus added.

'And caramel.' Peter put in.

'And I say bloody far too much.' James shook his head. 'Mum has repeatedly reminded me that my vocabulary has lacked since coming to Hogwarts. We don't teach proper vocab here, we teach magic.'

'Slugston would like us to say the first word without thinking about them.' Remus read. 'Patience.'

'Ability.' Peter answered.

'Slugs.' James wrinkled his nose.

'Éclairs.' Sirius mentioned.

'Next question from Slugston is what came first, the chicken or the egg.' Remus sighed. 'I hate these questions but I would have to say that the chicken came before the egg.'

'I agree. I think someone would have eaten the egg before it became a chicken.' Peter agreed, as he said he did.

'Wouldn't you need two chickens or two eggs to complete the cycle?' James asked.

'You would need a rooster and a hen to produce an egg.' Sirius added. 'I say the rooster got there first.'

'Slugston would like to know what our favorite midnight snack would be.' Remus smiled. 'I enjoy ham.'

'Cupcakes do it for me.' Peter added.

'Have you ever thought about changing your name from Slugston to just ton? Or maybe something more appealing?' James asked. 'I'm not a midnight muncher.'

'Éclairs and pudding.' Sirius grinned widely.

'Yes, he dips the éclair into the pudding.' James wrinkled his nose. 'It is quite a sight.'

'Slugston would like to know if we prefer to date someone older or younger.' Remus shrugged. 'It's more about the maturity of the person than their age.'

'Older.' Sirius sighed. 'They are comfortable with their own self-image.'

'Any age is fine with me.' Peter hurried. 'I'm not picky.'

'Evans is a few months older, so apparently I like them a bit older.' James smiled.

'From Slugston, Why is it that when you tell a man there are 400 billion stars he will believe you, but when you tell him there's wet paint he has to touch it?' Remus read.

'You cannot count the stars so best agree than disagree but you can test wet paint.' James answered.

'Lastly, Slugston requested Snape to join in one of our discussion as Lily was a hit.' Remus finished the letter.

'Nope.' James shook his head.

'We could rope him.' Sirius thought about it.

'Not even a little.' James replied.

'Maybe we can keep him in a closet and ask him through the door?' Peter thought.

'Won't happen.' James continued.

'It wouldn't be so bad. He might give some useful insight.' Remus added.

'No is a simple word. It means we won't be doing it and don't ask.' James pushed his glasses up. 'Shout out times, Love you Evans!'

'He is just changing the subject.' Peter sighed.

'Let us see what Ouija says.' Sirius peered down at the board. 'Ouija, will Snape ever appear on our show?'

'I'm telling you we aren't doing it right.' Peter huffed.

'Maybe it needs magic?' James smiled. 'I do believe a magical prank is starting to come forth into my mind. We can get this thing to say anything!'

'Just don't get me caught.' Remus growled. 'That is about it from our show. Oh, the poll. Who ate my chocolate!'

'I got the results right here.' Peter held up a paper. 'Seven said it was James.'

'It was caramel!' James disagreed.

'Five said Sirius done it.' Peter went on.

'Maybe I did have a piece or two.' Sirius admitted with a wink.

'Two said that I did.' Peter sighed. 'A bit here and there.'

'I had caramel, like I told you.' James frowned.

'It was chocolate coated caramel.' Sirius accused.

'Not all of them were.' James pouted.

'Well one said that you ate it, Remus.' Peter shrugged. 'You do munch on it a lot.'

'It calms me.' Remus defended his addiction, as most addicts do.

'Next poll is simple one. Are ghost and spirits the same? You decide.' James stretched his arms out.

'Keep the stories coming, we enjoy them all.' Sirius added.

'Go easy on us as some of those questions were hard.' Peter whined.

'Good-night.' Remus clicked the airwaves off.

* * *

Fun Thing:

roll of Mentoscandies, bottle of tonic water or diet tonic water, black light

It glows in the dark :)


	9. Chapter 9

'Good um…evening, I suppose though I should be addressing the morning, as it is a bit after two.' Remus yawned quite loudly into the microphone. 'Pardon me. I'm not much of early morning riser.'

'Nah, it still evening I say.' Sirius sucked the chocolate off his fingers. 'Tonight we are bringing our broadcasting show Live from Hogwarts to you from a place where things get a bit hot. The kitchen.'

'Only because we grew fabulously hungry.' Peter added just before he tossed a fudge bar into his mouth.

James held up his fork, which had a piece of crumpet attached. 'Nay. We ended up here because you and Remus woke us,' James switched his fork towards Sirius direction, causing a bit of honey to swoosh off his fork and drizzle drops across the table. 'Whimpering about starving.'

'You know how I get when….' Remus looked over at his shoulder at the house elves attending to their task. 'Well, it's almost time. I always develop a monstrous appetite before it happens.'

'Yes and here we are, amusing you while supporting you, in your acquisitive time of need.' Sirius grinned.

'Nispy.' James snapped his fingers and a thin house elf came over wagging his ears back and forth.

'Nispy is here, Sir.' The house elf wringed his fingers. 'Is there something Nispy can do for you, Sir? Pour more pumpkin juice? Perhaps butter more crumpets? Syrup?'

'No. No but I'd like a bit more coffee if you don't mind.' James held up his mug. 'Top it off with a bit of spice.'

'Oh, yes Sir! Nispy is good at topping it off, Sir!' Nipsy hurried off to get a bit of spice for James.

'I would really like to discuss a way to free the house-elves.' Remus buttered a piece of toast.

'I am aboard with that. Those sorry little buggers never get any kind of respect.' Sirius held up his mug. 'Oi! Can I get a bit more tea over here? Quick about it, I haven't all morning!'

'I'm being serious, Padfoot.' Remus huffed.

'Well, so am I.' Sirius grinned.

'I have heard of a group called House Elf Regional Protection and Employment Society.' Peter spoke up. 'They are all about the good will of house elves. With the holiday approaching, good cheer and all that, perhaps there will be more sincere supporters.'

'We'll get you a button for that.' James remarked. 'Now we have letters to sort and to answer.'

'Prongs, we haven't got a lot of owls on this day.' Sirius tossed a few letters on the table. 'We'll get the questions answered then continue with breakfast.'

'The first letter is from our dearest friend, SnuggieWar. Sure, we all know her as Mana but isn't Snuggiewar more fascinating?' James grinned. 'She gave me a smiley! I'm excited. I never got a smiley before today.'

'What do you do with a smiley?' Sirius asked.

'At this moment it is in my trouser pockets until I figure an answer to your question.' James told him. 'Ah, it looks as though I have an advice to go with that smiley.'

'There is always a catch somewhere, matey.' Sirius laughed. 'What does she say?'

'Says I shouldn't hex Snape in front of Lily as she might tolerate me a bit more.' James shook his messy head. 'Tolerate. She used the word tolerate, can you believe that?'

'No!' Peter peered over his shoulder to see the word. 'That's unbelievable!'

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Can you get any further up his arse, Pete?'

'Actually, it is the more appropriate word choice.' Remus said in a-matter-of-fact manner.

'Why don't you busy your mouth with more berries?' James growled as he nodded his head towards a dish of berries Nispy had placed in front of the boys. 'I had tried hiding my Snape Hexes behind Evans lovely molded back, but Snape is a bit of a snark! Tells a ridiculous, but half-truth, tale about how I ambushed him single handedly with my band of Gryffindor freaks. How could I alone attack him while being accompanied by my mates? Let me address the whole ambush, as I am at it. I never ambushed him. I don't go about secretly sneaking up on a person to hex them. I am a very open hexer. I take it seriously. I openly assault him with magnificent and creative hexes.'

'Thanks for taking up that whole freak thing as well. Really appreciate the support with that.' Sirius huffed.

'Come off it? Most people think that. With your absurd curiosity with muggles way of life.' James pointed over to Remus. 'He's all for living a reclusive life style and Pete…well is he is what he is.'

'On with the letter before we boil you, James.' Remus threw a piece of berry at him.

'Ah, well just suggesting that we slime the Great Hall.' James finished.

'That's a good idea and we have already thought about it before. We were thinking glow in the dark slime. I am quite positive that we can pull it off rather easy however, the fault of the plan lies with James and Sirius.'

'The main ingredient is slime of a slug.' Peter sighed.

'Nasty, bile creatures.' James shivered. 'You never see them coming.'

'And to make it look as we were not involved, we too would receive some slim. Which would be great.' Remus grinned.

'But the damage it would do to my hair.' Sirius shook his head.

'Yeash.' Peter rolled his eyes. 'So you see, there is a bit of the plan we still need to work on.'

'The next question is from Detrapped and …er, well can we skip it?' Peter showed Remus the letter. 'Please?'

'It cannot be that bad.' Sirius looked over at the letter as well.

'Burn it.' Remus agreed.

'Let me see.' James tried to snag the letter but Sirius was quicker.

'I'll spread the ashes so it doesn't reattach itself.' Sirius informed them.

'Accio-letter.' James flicked his wand.

'Really hate that he remembers that spell.' Remus sighed.

'Hey this is a bloody good letter!' James grinned. 'Why on earth would you guys want to burn it! Detrapped would like to know how Quidditch came about! Well, I can tell you! I have visited all the Quidditch museums! The earliest knowledge of Quidditch is dated by a journal of Gertie Keddle. She lived near Queerditch March in the eleven hundreds. The only day of the week she was aware of is Tuesday. So to Gertie, every day was indeed a Tuesday. In her journal she states about a game being played on broomsticks and a big leather ball landing in her cabbage field. Later, how longer I am not sure as she again addresses the day as Tuesday, just a different log, she confirms that the team was throwing the ball to each other and trying to stick it in tree branches. Obviously, these were the days of the catchers.'

'That's what James plays.' Peter reminded everyone, though everyone knew that already.

'That is where the action is.' James grinned. 'Later, on a Tuesday Gertie saw the team throwing rocks at each other, trying to knock another off the broom. That would be the beaters.'

'Enough!' Remus growled.

'B-but there is more!' James whined.

'The next letter is from slugston who would like us to describe each other's appearance.' Remus looked over at Padfoot. 'Well Sirius is wearing his underpants and that's about it.'

'Would had been less but you told me to dress.' Sirius shrugged.

'His hair is loose, dark and very womanishly.' Remus grinned. 'And his eyes are now a cold gray as they get when he is a bit piss. He is fairly tall, a normal healthy weight. Fair complexion. Perfect skin.'

'Remus has dark circles under his eyes, a noticeable scar on his cheek and his hair is bushed out from not combing it before going to the kitchens. He's wearing a white, cotton pyjamas with chocolate syrup on the front, as he missed his wide mouth.'

Remus narrowed his eyes at his friend.

'His eyes are brown, a light brown though. His hair is a bit of a sandy colour.' Sirius shrugged. 'Just a bit taller than I am. Thin, a bit too thin in my opinion. Pale. Um…that's all I got.'

'Peter is the shortest of the lot. A little taller in the width area, however. His hair is blonde, flatten to his head. His complexion is a bit of normal tone, I suppose whatever that is. His eyes are a dark brown, almost black. His lashes are long, his nose fits his face. His smile is a little cricket but it's a good long smile, full of cheer. He is wearing a red and gold pyjamas. That is it, I suppose.' James shrugged.

'Well James black hair is really, really messy. More so than normal. His eyes are hazel and he wears these thin lens spectacles that are a bit squire and silver rims. He's always has a tan, a lot of time in the sun. He has a few light gold freckles over his nose. His smile is perfect…' Peter described.

'Drool less….' Sirius mutter low.

'He's taller than Sirius but short than Remus.' Peter took a moment to side a glare at Sirius. 'Um he is wearing an A-shirt, or sleeveless shirt and in his pants.'

'They have flying snitches.' James grinned.

'Which is very disturbing as one cannot help but watch once.' Remus sighed.

'Next question from Slugston is how are would we go to achieve our goal.' Sirius chewed his lip a bit before answering. 'I suppose that would matter on the goal it would be. Some goals are at higher cost but worth the measurement. I might not want to put too much effort in it if it isn't worth the cost.'

'I would go all the way.' James stated. 'I reach my goals no matter what.'

'Before I came to Hogwarts, I took what I got without putting up a battle. If I didn't get it, well it wasn't anything of a surprise. After being introduced to the marauders, well I leant that there are somethings you just fight for.' Remus scratched his head a bit for confessing.

'That's it, mate.' Sirius grinned.

'I find myself agree with Sirius. It would depend on the reward of the goal to figure out how far I would go to receive it.' Peter answered truthly.

'Slugston asked for the answer to problem twenty-six in the history assignment.' Sirius read.

'We don't give out answers. You need to solve the problem on your own or you would never learn.' Remus lectured.

'General Strike. That is the answer to your history problem twenty-six.' Sirius anwered.

'But you didn't get it from us.' James added.

'An anonymous letter reads, Everyone has a bit of quirks, strange mannerisms, or annoying habits. Remus, what is Sirius? James, what is Remus? Sirius, what is Peter? And Peter, what is James?' Sirius sighed. 'Well this is a cause of a fight. What are some of Peter's annoying habits? The greatest one is that he has a crush on James. Drools and claps like a seal when every James is 'bout.'

'Do not.' Peter sulked.

'He also chews on his quill and smudges ink all over the pages.' Sirius went on. 'He borrows something but never gives it back. He takes but never replace. He giggles after he snorts in his sleep. He never puts the cap back on the toothpaste, which he borrows without asking.'

'I think that is a good answer.' Remus hurried to shut Sirius up. 'What are somethings Sirus does that I find annoying…well he stares. He does it just to annoy me. It's like a constant stare. He leaves his clothes all over the floor. He walks around nude in our dorms and if we tell him to put something one, he takes our pillow case and turns it into a loincloth. He puts his feet in your face. He farts, says he did it and walks away. He takes my chocolates. He lectures us about upkeep of our hair.'

'You said enough.' Sirius growled.

'Well Remus is always trying to put us on the right path of doing right. It's like having a mother near you at all times. He will tell us that he had done his homework due in two weeks and we should do the same. He hides his chocolate. He is always depressed about something. He fixes our ties and collars when he's talking to us.' James answered. 'Just little annoying things but most of the times, he's a good chap.'

'James, um…' Peter tapped his chin. 'He talks about Quidditch a lot. Will wake us up to tell us he has practice, like that is the best thing to happen to us. He messes his hair up. He wrinkles his nose when he doesn't like an answer. He sulks when he doesn't get his own way. He demands that he get his own way. He puts us in danger all the time. He wakes us up if he can't sleep. He never sleeps. He doesn't sit still.'

'Next question is from Fandom5. What is the most fun prank/stunt that you have ever done?' Remus looked over at the boys.

'The illusion charm!' James grinned. 'It's a potion that causes people to see illusions, all kinds. We had help, from the house-elves who did a great job at pouring it all the pumpkin juice. Anyone who drank it saw an illusion. Now, we couldn't see their illusion so as you can imagine, it was very interesting to witness from our point of view.'

'We got fifty points knocked off us for that. Each.' Sirius said quite proudly.

'Our last letter is from FamousNoOne is doesn't ask a question. However she does send her letter about the date.' Sirius winked and nudged Remus.

'That was the worse date I have ever been on.' Remus cheeks turned pink. 'You guys embarrassed me.'

'How is that different from other dates?' Peter asked, seriously.

'Remus, the next time we go out had better be ALONE. I can NOT deal with the three of those hooligans.' James read. 'Hooligans? Where is this coming from? We are the Marauders.'

'Just finished the letter.' Peter yawned loudly.

'As for the rest of you, you should be ashamed of yourselves.' James continued.

'I don't feel ashamed.' Sirius grinned.

'One of the few times that Remus agrees to go on a date with a girl, you three decide to be complete imbeciles.' James read. 'We didn't decide to be complete imbeciles. It just happened that way.'

'Why do I have to relive this?' Remus groaned.

' James, taking the chocolate I bought for Remus and flying to the tallest tree in Hogsmeade just to leave it there was completely uncalled for.' James eyes grew wide. 'Not called for? I differ! He doesn't share. Not at all.'

'I'm ruined.' Remus put his head on the table.

'Sirius, if you ever try to jump on my back and tell me to give you a piggy back ride again, I will hex you into next week.' James read.

'B-but piggy backs are fun! James does it! It's what friends do!' Sirius whined.

'Peter... Well, you actually weren't bad, but encouraging James and Sirius to do those things was highly immature and irresponsible. I expected better of you.' James looked over at Peter.

'I'm sorry.' Peter folded his hands on his lap and looked down at his shoes.

'FamousNoOne took time to blog this date on fanfiction. Her first posted story. If you are interested in finding out what happen and what didn't happen, check out her story.' Remus finally pulled his head up.

'That covers today's Broadcasting. Keep those letters coming and we'll keep our part.' Sirius said.

'Shout out to Evans, you got my eyes stuck on you.' James looked down at his sheet. 'Other shout outs are from Shelly to Ginger. From Ginger to Shelly. Glad you girls are listening. Shout outs and questions can be done by private messages as well.'

'Thanks to everyone listening.' Peter slurped gravy from his spoon.

'Have a nice morning to everyone out there. We are going back to bed.' Sirius stood up.

'I'm not sleepy yet.' James whined.


	10. Chapter 10

'Good evening! Today we are bringing Live at Hogwarts to you from an underground passage.' Peter whispered with a lit wand close to his face, casting shadows against his pale skin. 'It isn't because I want to be here but this is the only secret passage way to Hogsmeade and that is where the good chocolate is!'

'We don't know that for sure.' James pointed out. 'There may be other ways in which we haven't yet found.'

'We are finding that we have time to make an unexpected trip due to the lack of questions.' Sirius glared at James.

'It isn't my fault!' James held up his hand.

'We do have fewer questions but we are making the best of the situation by traveling for more chocolate.' Remus told the listeners. 'Chocolate soothes the disappointment.'

'What Remus means is that we have no chocolate.' James put in. 'He gets angry like a wolf if he doesn't have a dose of chocolate.'

'Let us just jump in with the questions while we wait until the inn keeper goes to bed.' Sirius pointed upward to a closed door that would led them to the cellar of their chocolate supplement. Sirius closed his eyes to randomly pick up a letter up. 'This letter is from Idontget, who ask what is the one trait that you are exceeding proud about. That would be my appearance.'

'I don't think the question was directed as a physical trait.' Remus told him.

'Doesn't say it isn't either.' Sirius argued. 'My natural, charming, good looks. I am the knight in the shining armor that every girl dreams about.'

'My special power…er, I mean trait is the ability to earn good grades.' Peter boasted.

'You do realize that those people listening also share studies with us.' Remus reminded the other boy. 'They know you are lying.'

'Then the ability to tell a good lie.' Peter shrugged.

'Now is that a trait that you are proud about?' James asked.

'Well, yes. Not everyone has the ability to lie.' Peter sighed.

'I think my trait that I am proud about is that I have wonderful patience.' Remus answered.

'Mine is not giving up on anything.' James also answered. 'The next question is from Randomfandom asked what is our favorite ice cream flavor? What is the most absurd thing you think has happened to you?'

'I am anti-ice cream wizard.' Peter shook his head. 'Hate the stuff. Causes my brain to freeze.'

'I prefer pudding flavored ice cream or just butterscotch would do…soaked in firewhiskey.' Sirius grinned.

'Dark chocolate with chocolate chunks and brownies is a favorite of mine.' Remus shrugged as the boys rolled their eyes. 'Top it off with a few chocolate sprinkles. Oh, and if some coco powder were sprinkled on top, that would make it perfect.'

'Peppermint is my fancy.' James answered. 'Now the most absorbed thing that happen to me was the day I was enjoying a dip in the lake after a hard practice. I'm not sure why but for some odd reason, Lily was upset with me and was looking for so she could explain what I done wrong.'

'I wish to make some correction to this story.' Sirius interrupted. 'Lily was mad at you because you slipped something in her pot to that blew up and made her face purple. She wasn't hunting you down to speak to you, she wanted to kill you and you were hiding in the lake.'

'I'm the one telling the story.' James glared at him. 'So I took a dip in the lake and naturally, not wanting to get my clothes wet, I left them on the bank. Lily took it upon herself to take my clothes. Everything. Including my wand and my cloak. With no wand, I couldn't use magic to retrieve my clothes so I decided to hang out in the forest until my friends' realized I was missing. They never did.'

'Don't make us the bad guys.' Remus interrupted. 'We thought you had detention that night!'

'Excuses.' James waved him off. 'Lily however did notice I was missing, probably because she wanted to view me totally in the bare, so she was keeping those amazingly attractive eyes on the lookout.'

'She wanted to catch you in an embarrassing moment.' Remus told him. 'It took her a while to realize you don't embarrass well.'

'If you were telling the story, I would let you believe that but since I am narrating this, I prefer if you kept your mouth closed.' James glared at him before continuing on with the story. 'So there I was, perfectly naked in the Forbidden Forest.'

'I would like to say that it wasn't forbidden until James started starking it.' Sirius added. 'Only then did it become forbidden.'

'Please. It is only one story and I am telling it.' James turned his hazel eyes on his other friend. 'Once again, there I was in the Forbidden Forest with my clothes in Lily's possession. I was sitting on a stump, which was extremely unpleasant as I had no trousers. I was talking to myself, as all men that love a woman end up doing at some point of their life, when suddenly I was surrounded by hairy, manly horses.'

'More correctly, he was surrounded by Centaurs.' Remus corrected him.

'Yes. I think hairy, manly horses sound more terrifying.' James told him. 'It was a very unpleasant situation to explain why I was naked, sitting on a stump talking to myself. So that was my experience.'

'There is more to that, Prongs.' Sirius grinned. 'He told the manly horses that the stars told him to do it.'

'I thought they would be less annoyed if they knew the stars were to blame.' James simply said.

'Were they?' Peter asked his eyes wide with wonder, though he had heard the story before.

'No, but after I said a girl had stolen my cloths, they seem to understand.' James shrugged. 'The moral of the story is if you find yourself sitting on a tree stump with no clothes on, blame it on a woman.'

'I think the moral would be telling the truth.' Remus told him.

'You are an expert on morals now, are you?' James asked Remus.

'Don't mind them. Seems Remus and James is arguing about spoons.' Sirius grinned. 'James believes them to be utterly useless. Remus however, disagrees as they assist on proper etiquette dinner manners.'

'What can you eat that only a spoon is needed?' James asked.

'Soup.' Peter stated.

'You don't really need a spoon as you can drink soup.' James told him.

'But that isn't good manners to bring your bowl to your face and slurp up your dinner.' Remus said.

'It would be if everyone was doing it.' James retorted.

'The most absurd thing to happen to me and perhaps the others would agree, is when Myrtle decided to pat us down before we left the girls lavatory.' Sirius shuddered with the memory. 'The unpleasant things a ghost hand can do to a man.'

'That was a dreadful moment.' Remus agreed. 'I felt so…dirty.'

'I didn't think it was all that bad.' Peter thought it over. 'A bit cold, maybe.'

'What did she think we would take with us that had to remain in the bathroom?' James wondered. 'There are no valuables there.'

'Moving on to the last letter is from FamousNoOne.' Peter read. 'She says that Delilah Vane is single and looking. I should ask her.' Peter looked over at James. 'Should I ask her what she is looking for? Am I to help her find it?'

'I don't think that is the meaning but it's a great line to start out with.' James patted his head.

'FamousNoOne also says that Sirius should use his charm to get me a date. She's tired of you looking at her bum.' Peter looked over at Sirius.

'Let me just say that I don't just look at one rump. I like to keep a different eye view on things to strengthen my vision.'

'Than why are you always trying to take James' spectaculars?' Remus asked.

'I saw a muggle movie with this man wears glasses and he is a muggle. Once he takes the glasses off, he becomes a flying wizard. I want to see if James can fly.' Sirius explained.

'But I cannot see well without them. If I try to fly, I won't be able to see what is in front of me.' James told him.

'As for using my charm, I have tried to do so. I let Peter soak up my overflow of girls but they just don't seem interested in him while I am there.' Sirius stated. 'I even said I was going to try out men and the girls loved me more for that! So much that I had to give up men so I could be with them.'

'So his man relationship didn't even start.' James explained.

'FamousNoOne says that Slugs have three thousand teeth and four noses. She just wanted James to know that for paybacks.'

'I know, right!' James pushed up his glasses. 'And ninety-five percent of the slug population is underground. They lay eggs there! Twenty to two hundred eggs from one slug! Every year! There are about two hundred slugs in just a cubic metre! They are hermaphrodite as well, they don't have to go out and find the perfect mate. They fancy taking over the world! Their slim absorb water from your skin! They are going to drain us alive!'

'He's going to be up rocking back and forth again, tonight.' Sirius shook his head.

'We are the ones to suffer, not James.' Peter sighed as he rubbed James' back.

'We have to get out of this tunnel.' James looked down at the floor, whispering to the guys. 'They could be breeding as we speak.'

'I told you they cannot get through Hogwarts.' Remus told him. 'There is a magical barrier.'

'Next FamousNoOne says that she would like Remus to tutor her for History of Magic in the empty study on the fourth floor.'

'I didn't know you were doing poorly in that class.' Remus said. 'It so happens that tutor others in that same subject. You are welcome to join us.'

James shook his head. 'The only reason a student goes into an empty class on the fourth floor is to get some no good out of it. She wants to snog, not study, mate.'

'Oh.' Remus blinked. 'Is there chocolate?'

'Does there really need to be?' Sirius asked.

'It would make things nicer.' Remus pouted.

'That concludes the questions for this week. Before we go, we would like to go over the poll that we forgot last week.' James said. 'Are ghost and Spirits the same thing? That is the question of the poll.'

'The results are as follows,' Sirius cut in. 'Three said no and two said yes.'

'Our next poll is about the existent of spoons.' Peter said. 'So check the poll out on our profile page and take the vote.'

'Keep the questions coming.' James added. 'No matter how bad they are, we will have something to say.'

'Good night.' Sirius sounded off.


	11. Chapter 11

'GGGGGGGGGGGGOoooooodddd evening to all my adoring fans!' James shouted into the microphone. 'Tonight we are bringing Live From Hogwarts to you from our Muggle Study room! Isn't that just exciting! While we are discussing our questions from you, we are also surrounded by a million oddities that we haven't the slightest idea what they are used for but we are going to find their usage!'

'A perfect example is this object I have in my hands.' Remus held up a cubed object. 'This is a square block that have nine tiny movable blocks within each side of the block. One side has the colour yellow, another blue, another red, another orange, another white and lastly the colour green. If you drop it, it does not bounce. It doesn't carry any odour.'

'Don't taste very good either.' Peter piped in after he licked the cube he held.

'It does come apart however.' Sirius held up tiny little blocks. 'The core is empty. No prizes can be found. But does not put back together well.'

'Look!' James held up his cube, which showed multi-colour sides. 'I have union the colours together!'

'Coooollll.' Peter looked at his cube.

'Go on. Just give it a bit of a twist, is all.' James encouraged him the other marauder.

'This is fun!' Peter agreed. 'Er…how do I get it to solid colour?'

James merely shrugged his shoulders before scurried away to find a new interest that may hold his attention a bit longer.

'There are other things that are exciting.' Remus went on. 'Such as this black disc object. It is very thin. There is a centre hole in the middle of the disc. It looks as it is called the Beatles. Sirius and I have discovered the means of this object however. It was quite easy, actually.'

Sirius put his hand in the air just as Remus gave it a toss in the air. 'The means of this Beatle object is some kind of quiet sport that Muggles play. Probably with many players in teams.'

'Whichever team misses a toss, the black disc drops onto the ground and shatters.' Remus explained. 'That team is out of the game.'

'The winning team is the team that scored the most catches without dropping the Beatle.' Sirius finished.

'We all are becoming good fans of this sport.' Remus went on. 'Even Peter finds this game less challenging than other sports. James however, is a bit of a Beatle cheater. He seems to out run the flying disc and take the toss from another player.'

'Aye. They won't let me play with the Beatle any longer.' James muttered as he sorted through a box of items. 'I am used to things much faster anyways. Look, here. There are these little round stones. About fifty of these little rocks in a jar. Each one is a tad bit different. Most have a clear shell with a swirl in the middle. Some are solid colours. They look like some kind of sweets but, after Peter broke a tooth, we decided they probably are not edible. However, I have found a use for them.' James gave one a toss.

'Ow!' Peter rubbed the side of his neck. 'Gawd blimey! Won't you stop tossing those! They bleeding hurt!'

'James.' Remus held out his hand for James, who reluctantly handed over the jars. 'Thank you. Why don't you go spin that thing over there again?' Remus pointed to a little square cardboard with coloured circles on it and a compass point in the centre.

'I don't think I will.' James huffed. 'It isn't fun at all.'

'Then read a letter, mate.' Remus pointed to the pile they had gathered and placed in the middle of the floor. 'There are a lot of them today. Best we get started.'

'Yes, the listeners topped themselves this week.' James bent down, picking up a letter. 'Ah, this is from Serenity who would like to know what kind of pet we would like to bring with us to Hogwarts but not allowed. I fancy a dog. Those Labradors are bloody awesome and they never stop running. The neighbour at the Summer Cottage has one; it is always pissing on Mum's elderberry shrub. It is brilliant! It taught its master how to throw and fetch.'

'Throw and fetch?' Peter asked. 'What?'

'Sure. The man holds this small yellow ball in the air. The dog looks at it. The master throws the ball. The dog watches where it lands and after a bit, the owner goes and gets the ball which then he brings back to the dog. The master repeats this a few times until the dog gets bored and goes inside the family home.' James explained.

'Well I'd like a turtle.' Peter said. 'I think I would have a lot in common with a turtle.'

'Oh, I'd like a dragon! Not just any dragon.' Sirius grinned. 'Hagrid and I have been discussing this. He has his favourites but mine, Hebridean Black. A suitable dragon for a Black!'

'They kill deer, don't they?' Remus asked.

'Tosser.' James muttered.

'Not my fault what a dragon fancies in its belly.' Sirius threw the Beatle at James, who quick reflexes caught it easy enough. 'Not like I would want it to eat you, Jamesy.'

'I would like a guinea pig.' Remus interrupted.

'We got us one.' Sirius pointed over at Peter. 'A rat and a pig is a guinea.'

'Har-har.' Peter called out.

'Next we've got a letter from Idonotget.' James continued with the casting. 'Idonotget is wondering what we do on Sundays and if we do that together.'

'In the mornings we tend to start off at different times.' Remus answered. 'James is first to get up.'

'The boy doesn't sleep.' Sirius piped.

'Mornings start about five for me.' James said. 'I do that entire necessary thing our Mums have taught us in the wee years. Then, I head into the common room in hopes to see Lily. Sadly, she is not a morning person. So I head for breakfast, which is served until brunch. If I am having a good day, I get a few good hexes in before reaching the dining hall. There I have a full breakfast with a bit of tea or coffee. I may practice my wand movements on some Slytherns as they too eat breakfast. By that time Lily usually emergences, looking radiant, and sits across from me. I throw love phases at her and she tosses them back with a light banter. Then I head to the Quidditch field, meet up some of the team and we do our laps. I visit Hagrid for spell. Maybe take a jot through the forbidden forest in animal stealth. I go back to the castle, throw some more lovely words at Lily. Go to the dinner hall where I find Pete. Go back to the Quidditch field to watch some practices, see what I'm up against. Maybe even throw some friendly insults into the air. Pete and I eventually save Remus from over studious dementia, once we find his hiding spot. Usually, Sirius is up about that time and he is normally there with Remus.'

'I get up in time to miss the day.' Sirius answered his side of the question. 'I saunter down to get a bit of meal, usually something that I can take with me. I find the others throughout the castle. Remus, usually in the green house trying to find a quiet place to study. Pete, by the time I get up, is usually with James. If he hadn't found me, I usually find Prongs by following the unlady like shrills of Lily.'

'I get up whenever.' Peter spoke up. 'I don't go down for breakfeast unless there are others going in our dorm or the Ravenclaws. I am usually targeted by the Slytherins if found alone.'

'I find myself up about eightish. Have a bit of toast with jam and some tea.' Remus answered. 'I then go over my assignments and such. I hate waiting for the last minute to do my lessons.'

'The close arrival of the day ending, we usually find ourselves in each other's company once again.' James concluded. 'Idonotget would like to know, what makes you cry Pete?'

'Pulling nose hair.' Peter answered without faltering.

'And you, Sirius. Day or night, which arrived first?' James asked.

'Definitely night.' Sirius answered.

'Moony, how would one drop a raw egg onto cement floor without it breaking?' James looked over at his scar covered friend.

'You can drop an egg however you wish, it will never break a concrete floor.' Remus smiled.

'And last question from Idonotget is how ticklish am I with the scale of one to ten.' James wrinkled his nose. 'Not ticklish at all. I wish I were. It looks exceedingly fun to be tickled.'

'Ugh, there are many, many questions.' Sirius picked another one up. 'Ah, our lovely friend Mana has a few for us to answer. She believes the show about the wizard that takes off his glasses is called Superman. I believe she may be correct. Mana also would like to know how we would make our Boggart amusing and how did we find out about Remus' furry little problem?'

'Gawd! Which one of you spilled it out?' Remus asked. 'Blood hell, seems like everyone knows!'

'And they accept you and love you and wish to cuddle with you and call you Splat.' James said.

'I'm going to splat you one.' Remus sulked.

'All of those are really good questions.' Sirius looked over at James. 'When did we find out about Remus' problem?'

'The scars were kind of a big header. You see, Remus' mum suffers from a rare disease called Transavinderlistdisc. It's a chronic case and she becomes extremely ill monthly, sometimes twice-ly in a monthly cycle, but that's rarely.' James explained.

'When he came back from his visits with his ill mother, well he had these scars all over his arms and sometimes on his face and neck.' Sirius carried on. 'Those scratches can be caused by two creatures. A werewolf is one of them.'

'But Hogwarts would never let a werewolf into the school and look at him.' James pointed to Remus. 'Does he look like he would go around biting people? I think not!'

'That is when we figured it out.' Sirius shook his head sadly. 'He had a misbehaved rabbit.'

'Even the cutest creatures can become extremely violent.' James patted Remus on the back. 'We confronted him one day and he came cleaned. He doesn't know how to tame his rabbit.'

'Calling it his bad bunny seemed…wrong.' Sirius grinned. 'So the furry little problem came about.'

'Now moving on to the next question, the Boggart. One of the best questions we have received.' Sirius looked over at James. 'Prongs, how could you make a slug funny?'

'Err…' James ran a hand through his thoroughly messed tangle mass of hair. 'A bit hard, isn't it? To make a slug into something amusing. I mean, I don't rightly have a lot to work on.'

'This will be on our test, you do realise that don't you?' Remus asked. 'We've been warned about it for months.'

'I know. I know.' James waved him off. 'Probably make it into a gobbley- gloop.'

'What is a gobbley-gloop?' Peter asked.

'Something that's all gloopy.' James beamed. 'Has no structure to hold its shape.'

'Mine is um…' Remus looked at the others for help.

'A crystal ball.' Peter picked up on the silent plea. 'Remus hates to admit it but he fears crystal balls and rightly so. They doom a person's future.'

'Yes.' Remus gave Peter a grateful smile. 'I think I shall turn it into a balloon that has the air running out of it so it zooms about.'

'I love when that happens to balloons.' Sirius grinned. 'Mine is seeing Snape naked. The odd thing about that is it would be hilarious! Frightful funny!'

'Har!' James laughed.

'Get serious, Padfoot.' Remus looked at his friend sternly.

'Aye. Well that would be death to my friends. How is one able to make that funny?' Sirius asked.

'Dunno.' Peter shrugged, looking all worried now.

'Death is hard to make laugh.' Remus whispered.

'Because if I shall die, do you really think I'm not laughing it up somewhere?' James asked. 'You think of me as one of those blokes waiting for you to take your last breath in order to join me in the afterlife? When something goes missing and you lot are running about trying to find it, well that's me laughing my arse off watching you.'

'I suppose you are right.' Sirius smiled a little.

'Mine is Voldermort.' Peter whispered. 'How do you make a wicket wizard funny?'

'By putting him in a girdle.' Sirius laughed.

'Perhaps give him some curls!' Remus added.

'Take his head off, won't be all that frightful then would he?' James asked. 'Next question, still from Mana is if we have ever heard of Sporks and that she finds them to be epic. Also I'd like to combine FredNeverDied letter which ask what our views of Sporks. '

'Yes we have heard of sporks. We had placed that on our poll, which can be found on our profile.' Remus answered. 'I find them rather niffy myself.'

'I don't like them.' Sirius shook his head. 'The prongs are too short to use as a fork and what does that leave you, huh? A spoon with slits in it is what.'

'Which brings back to my point, the world can do without spoons.' James finished. 'FredNeverDied has a bit of an issue with his Mum. Says that she is always colour coordinating her closet. Freddie, though doesn't mind the neatness finds the coordination to be a bit annoying and would like to know how to handle this situation without offending her mother.'

'Oi. What a bloody easy question!' Sirius laughed. 'You can for one, tell your mother that you are old enough to sort your own clothes or a much easier and Sirius approved is to start only wearing black.'

'Wonderful suggestion, Padfoot.' James smiled at his friend. 'Another question from Freddie is if the word retarted consider a rude word.'

'If on using the word would be discussing an object that is not functional, then no it is not a rude word. An object is clearly broken or built with a flaw. It can be either fixed or reprogrammed its mechanism.' Remus said.

'Or if the word would be used to describe an arse being a twat, then no it is not a rude word.' James added.

'However if one would use the word to single out an individual who has a mental handicap, then yes it would be offensive and one using it would be an ignorant git.' Sirius finished the answer.

'Freddie would also like to know, what is the right balance of being a workaholic and having fun? As hard work pays off in the end, but that's only true so you can eventually enjoy yourself. When have you reached the relaxation and have fun stage and not the up-all-night-studying-my-arse -off-stage?'

'You finished the work stage when your work is finished.' Remus shrugged and looked at the others. 'Isn't it obvious? But you always, a few hours of the day, make time for some relaxation.'

'No.' Sirius shook his head. 'Work and no play isn't a kind of world anyone should live in. Look at Freddie, she's all worked up now! Is that really good for her health?'

'View it this way, Freddie. If people work hard for that pay off in the end, what happens if they don't live to see that pay off?' James asked.

'We've all heard that expression, only the good die young.' Peter put in. 'It isn't about a good person who has their life taken from them early. It's about a person, no matter the age, never leaving the security nest. They never live so their understanding of life is naïve compared to one that goes out there and sees what everyone else is up too in the world. Been there. They done that. They lived it fully.'

'I will no doubt have a difficult time in finding employment once my work is done at Hogwarts. I can work three times more than say, Peter. No matter my grades, no matter how I prove myself an employer will always pick Pete over me.' Remus said. 'I learnt that you have to enjoy life.'

'FamousNoone would like Sirius to stop eating Remus' chocolate.' James looked over at Sirius.

'Didn't know it was just for him!' Sirius barked.

'I didn't even know I had chocolate!' Remus glared at Sirius.

'FamousNoone also says thanks for the snog but James could do it better.' James looked over at Remus with a shrug. 'Lily must be running her mouth about my kissing skills.'

'Yeah, it's why all the girls giggle when you walk by and avoid you.' Peter grunted.

'A bit of a cheek there, Pete.' James glared at the other boy. 'She says she will see you later in Potions. FamousNoOne would also like to know what are favourite read it and no Quidditch.'

'Sucks for you, doesn't it mate.' Sirius grinned.

'Usually but not today because I have a book I am reading that does is not Quidditch. Though it is mention just a bit.' James held up the book.

'Er…mate, that's a girls diary.' Remus pointed out.

'Yes it is.' James smiled brightly.

'Are we going to regret saying who that belongs too?' Sirius asked.

'Yes you will.' James answered.

'So it's best not to say since we are on air.' Peter pointed to the microphone.

'All the female population is going to have your head if you tell who's diary that is.' Remus grinned devilishly.

'All the female population is going to have your head if you don't tell in fear it would be their diary.' Sirius eyes held an impish shine.

'Doesn't that just bugger it all.' James looked at the microphone and back at the diary.

'While James figures out how to get out of his situation, I'd like to answer the question. I am currently reading a book called, Through the Looking Glass.' Sirius held up the book. 'It is similar to our fairy tale stories but it's sorted out for Muggle's interruption. I find it highly amusing.'

'And I am reading, Far from the Madding Crowd.' Remus grinned. 'But the title isn't what you are thinking. It's a bit of a love story and a bit of what happens for a rich man to become poor and a poor person that becomes rich and that loves survives it.'

'Yawn!' James mocked.

'I am reading Charlotte's Web.' Peter produced a book with a pig in the front. 'It's about a spider that helps a pig out. Two different species co-existing in one small place. If a pig and a spider can do it, is it too much to ask Muggles and Wizards?'

'Moving to the next question.' James held up a muggle device. It was small, less than an inch with a hole on both sides and a blade in the middle.

'Looks like a felines claw sharpener.' Peter answered him.

'Makes sense.' James nodded. 'Okay, Detrapped would like to know what item would we eliminate from our lives.'

'Socks!' Sirius said quickly.

'Razors.' Remus answered.

'Spoons.' James chimed in. 'And slugs.'

'Chocolate!' Peter answered.

All heads turned in his direction.

'Just taking out the mick.' Peter grinned. 'I must say spoons, like James.'

'You are just making up for that kissing comment earlier.' James winked at him. 'Next question from Detrapped is if a bartender named a drink after you, what would it be called? What would be in it?'

'Ohhh, that is a bit hard.' Sirius scratched his clean shaved face. 'I would like it to be called the Black Smog. Have a bit of dry rum, mild spices, a bit scotch and a splash of sea salt. Serve it chilled with lime twist on the edge of a shot glass.'

'Jot of Potter.' James sighed. 'Currant vodka, bourbon, spiced rum served over a peach syrup, also serve in a shot glass.'

'Don't rightly know.' Peter shrugged. 'Cognac, coffee brandy, steak sauce, served in a champagne flute. Call it the Vortex of Peter.'

'White wine, amaretto, raspberry tonic, coconut milk, whisked unto frothy and served in a glass mug.' Remus answered. 'Call it, Moon Beam.'

'Clever.' James approved. 'Detrapped would like to know if guys should always pay on the date.'

'Naturally.' Sirius answered. 'If the bird says in the start of the date that she wishes to pay, you need to double check once the bill comes. Just simple say, if it isn't too much luv I got the check.'

'Slugston would like to know what is Peter's obsession since we all have some, as Slugston points them all out.' James looked over at Peter.

'Um…' Peter frowned.

'The twit fancy you, Prongs.' Sirius blew out. 'Just move to the next question.'

'Slugston would like to know what the title of our autobiography be.' James read. 'I think we had this question before. Ah, still mine would be the Wondrous World of James Potter.'

'Mine would be The Life and the Time of a Wormtail.' Peter grinned.

'I'd say mine would be the Light of a Black Life.' Sirius dusted his sleeve off.

'A Story of a Wolf in a Wizard's World.' Remus shrugged.

'Touching.' James laughed, 'I adore the next question! From slugston, if you were a pebble, what would you say to a little kid throwing you into a pond?'

'Agh! Don't do it! I can't swim!' Sirius screamed.

'Put me down you blimp!' Peter cried out.

'One day a rock will pull you down and then you will know the feeling of drowning!' Remus answered.

'Pick on a rock your own size.' James smiled. 'Okay next question from slugston is to Marauders4U. Slugston is enjoying this story. Slugston also likes your three brother story. Are you going to write more stories like that from the Wizards fairy tale?'

'Sadly, the letter was misaddressed so we cannot give you an answer but perhaps the Marauder4U, who clearly is lacking imagination to come up with his or her own name, would answer the letter in a later date or through a private message.' Remus said.

'Next set of questions would be from Randomfive.' James read. 'First question is, do we like cheesecake and where is the best place for cheesecake?'

'I believe we all enjoy cheesecake. Different kinds. I like strawberries with chocolate swirls drizzled on top. Hogwarts has tasty cheesecakes.' Remus thought. 'But they don't deliver.'

'Peach cheese cake is quite nice.' Sirius shrugged. 'Ate a few cakes at James' summer home, just last summer.'

'I like Hogwart's cheesecake as well.' Peter agreed. 'The cherry and the blue berries.'

'There is a diner near Berkeley Square in London that isn't bad. It's called Automat. It is either near Mayfair or off Dover Street. I wasn't the one navigating so I'm not quite sure at the exact location. But it is near the Berkeley. I remember seeing that. The price is a bit high but it goes, in a roundabout way, of serving Americanized dishes. The cheesecake isn't bad but the chips, well I do fancy them.' James said. 'Next question is what are the worst and best dates we've ever been on?'

'Mine best date was to Hogsmeade.' Peter sighed. 'It started out with me and Castilia Batsbe, it ended up with Me and James and Castilia and Sirius and Remus. I didn't get to snog her but she did ask me out three times. It also was my worse date because she didn't want to just date me, she wanted the all of us.'

'We are young witches' fantasy. They like the notching that we may be a set of four or something.' Sirius tisked but amusement shined his in eyes. 'My best date was with Elissa Summers. She made me hot, I can tell you that.'

'But please don't.' Remus remarked.

'My worse date was with Sarea. There was just no pleasing that girl! The food was wrong. The atmosphere was wrong. The bird was a beauty but she never laughed!' Sirius explained. 'I have to say that best date to top them off were the ones with Marlene. She can take anything that comes at her, chew it up and spit it out.'

'I had a few worse dates because of these blokes.' Remus snorted at the Marauders. 'Like Pete, they always end up with me and my date.'

'Just looking after our naïve ones.' James tried to look innocent. 'Watching out for your better half and all.'

'Eventually the girls don't come back because its difficult to date all of us and apparently, a girl cannot just date me alone.' Remus sighed. 'I suppose it really is for the best though.'

'Does Moony need a hug?' James asked.

'We spoke about this, have you forgotten?' Remus answered with a glare.

'Personal space I understand but you promised you wouldn't get all moody ageing.' James said. 'Well my best date and worse date has not happened yet. I am waiting for Lily to say yes.'

'I'm starting to worry that maybe she won't say it, mate.' Sirius actually looked concern. 'You are blowing your youth away, ignoring all the passing dolls and in the end, get nothing.'

'She'll say yes.' James said.

'It's been three years, James.' Remus patted him on the shoulders. 'Perhaps you should start dating. Just for practice.'

'No, she'll say yes.' James shook his head.

'I have gone on more dates then you James.' Peter looked over at him. 'Even I know that's not natural.'

'She's going to say yes.' James said again.

'She's never going to say it, Prongs.' Sirius sighed.

'I believe we have answered all the question.' James decided it was getting too serious and a change of subject was best. 'The poll, if you please.'

'One answered that drinking ones supper was the best way to go about it.' Sirius read.

'One preferred licking their plate clean.' Peter said. 'That surprised me. I thought it would be higher.'

'One said that a knife and elbow room is all they need.' Sirius grinned. 'I respect that.'

'Just one said that forks and spoons were the correct way to eat.' Remus shook his head. 'I'm disappointed here.'

'One said that spoons are nice to have but not needed.' James shrugged. 'I totally disagree. Imagine the silver we could save is we only got rid of spoons.'

'Two said that sporks were the answer.' Remus finished. 'Our next poll is should James go out on a date with someone other than Lily or should he wait her out?'

'I'm waiting!' James said.

'Let our viewers decided.' Sirius barked.

'Everyone had great questions. A lot of questions. We thank you all for them. Without your questions, there would be no story. So thank you all for turning in and good night.'

'Before you all go…' James interrupted. 'Know that dating anyone else; knowing that I could never overcome my feelings for Lily, would be a cruelty on that other individual. So vote no and let me keep my flower.'

* * *

Questions for Maurauder4U

Will there be another fairy tale story ...don't know. I think myself in it and I think myself out of it.

Why do I always use ' instead of ". Glad you ask. I lost the key button! I had a terrible idea that seem like a genius plan at the time and the result is no button there. I have to use a pen top and that gets bloody annoying! Sorry for the annoying quote indication of speech. I have a few more lost buttons but they are on the number pad side. One day, I will remember to pick up a new key board. One day...just not anytime this day.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/NI: A few may take notice that I have gone to the shop and brought home a new keypad for my lovely pc. It's orange! I love orange. It's a happy colour! Well what I want to say is that I now have a " key! I will be using it, however I have developed a habit of using '. From time to time you may see ' by mistake, so I am apologizing beforehand._

* * *

"Good evenings! This is Peter signing in with Live at Hogwarts." Peter grinned while reading his little parchment paper he had prepared for this moment. "Tonight we are currently in the Gryffindor Quidditch Team's locker room."

"James cannot be with us at this time because he's sniffing his uniform." Sirius glanced over at his dear friend.

"I cannot recall if I charmed it clean or not." James grumbled before inhaling his game robe.

"We have some really good questions tonight! Some of them are really tough questions!" Peter went on but cast an annoyed looks over at James and Sirius. "For those who are curious, the Gryffindor's Locker room is…"

"…Is filled with lockers but with no showers because it is concerted co-ed." Sirius explained. "We have showers in the castle. Mostly baths but the castle was modernized for newer appliances such as showers and toilettes."

"Please let us get on with the letters?" Peter huffed.

"See what happens when we let him in charge of the microphone?" Sirius looked at the others while pointing a hand at Peter. "He suddenly feels superior."

"Don't be so hard on him, mate." James sat down on one of the benches. "Not often he gets the spot light."

"James is right, Padfoot." Remus bit off a piece of chocolate. "You get the next air time and pick a place."

"Oi! I know!" Sirius clapped his hands together. "I want to do 'Live at Hogwarts' in the girls' second-floor lavatory."

"I don't think I'd like that." James pushed his glasses up on his face a bit more. "Myrtle will be there."

"Of course she will be there. She took residency there, didn't she?" Sirius asked. "Beside it will give our audience a chance to ask her some questions. Make her feel appointment."

"We can do that." Remus agreed. "Please, if any of our listeners would like to ask Myrtle a question, send the letters our way for next week."

"I think I have detention that day." James sighed loudly. "You lot will have to go on without me, I'm afraid."

"Afraid is right. Bloody coward." Sirius grinned.

"Aye, it's an easy thing for you to say! She doesn't go about pinching your bum, does she now?" James asked.

"Only when you are not there." Sirius frowned. "Reason why I need you there! And you don't have detention."

"Not yet but I have ways of making that happen." James grumbled. "Peter, what letter do we have?"

"First question was sent through a private message." Peter grinned. "This listener would like to know if Sirius Black likes Black Pudding, as he never mentions it in his favourite puddings."

"I don't mind black pudding from time to time but I'm not a huge fan of it." Sirius explained. "It's not exactly like the desert pudding, after all. Let me rephrase that. It is nothing like desert pudding. Black pudding is sausage cooked in blood and other oddities. Now you know, you understand why I don't sort black pudding with desert pudding."

"Next question is FlyForever…" Peter went on.

"A new listener! Greetings!" James yelled from his bench, causing Remus to flinch. "I adore the name! FlyForever, I feel it!"

"FlyForever would like to know if you know precisely how many times Lily has refused you and what was the worst? She would like me, Sirius and Remus to tell the most embarrassing moments."

"Embarrassing for him or for us?" Remus asked.

"Obviously she would mean for you." James glanced over at Remus with a smirk. "I do not embarrass."

"So how many times has Lily refused you?" Peter blinked at James expecting a number to be sprouted out quickly.

"I never actually kept track." James shrugged.

"It shouldn't be hard to mathematically find the answer." Remus said as he started scrunching the numbers. "There are fifty-two weeks in a year, we have to minus our holidays naturally and the fact that James hadn't hit girl-liking puberty until he was twelve and a half, add that he ask her out four times a day…"

"Lily has refused James two-hundred, forty-eight times." Sirius cut in. "There is a pool going on, just so you know."

"Bummers." James whistled. "Wait a moment. Are you saying people are betting on my setback?"

"You are the only one calling them a setback, just so you know." Peter whispered.

"Why haven't I been told?" James looked stunned, his hazels eyes traveling from Peter, to Remus and finally settled on Sirius.

"Well…er, we…" Remus looked at his friends for help.

"Merlin! You lot never thought that perhaps I wanted in on it all?" James asked.

"Sorry, I honestly never did." Remus said seriously. "We'll get it sorted after the broadcast."

"Fine." James crossed his arms in a bit of a sulk.

"So James, do you have an embarrassing moment that Lily refused your um…invitation to share your personal space?"

"I would have to say it was the first time I asked her out." James gave a one shoulder shrug. "After two hundred and…"

"Forty-eight." Sirius helped.

"Thanks, mate." James gave him a brisk nod. "After two hundred forty-eight times, it becomes natural occurrence. You expect it. It's when Pete keeps getting stuck on the staircase. It was funny the first few times and now, well its nothing to owl home about, is it? The first time I asked Lily, I believe it was second year and after our Christmas Holiday. We just pulled away from the station and I bumped into her accidentally. She turned around, her hair smelled like cinnamon and her cheeks were flushed from the cold and she was looking quite cross. She had a bit of that lip stain girls use and I have to say, I was thinking she looked quite kissable. Before then, I never thought about kissing a witch, it was quite new feeling. I stuttered out an apology, which she did accept. I then blurted out an invitation to a private compartment together. Evans flatly refused and those twits of first years laughed it up. That was my embarrassing moment I remember. I had to build up a lot of courage to ask for a snog."

"I think I was embarrassed for him when he started singing." Peter grinned, taking a side look over at James. "I'm sure the lot of you know boys cannot go up the stairs of the girls sleeping area. So James gets this clever idea to sing at the base of the girls' staircase."

"Oi, I remember!" Remus laughed loudly. "He picked a muggle song. Sirius helped him research it!"

"It's muggle song passed down from parent to child for some time." Sirius explained. "It represented tradition and value."

"I sang 'This House that Jack Built." James explained. "It's a lengthy song and apparently not song girls like to hear four in the mornin'."

"Especially from a twelve year old wearing nothing but his pants." Remus wiped the tears away.

"They all tossed their pillows at him." Peter explained.

"Yes and then we played a game of which pillow belonged to which girl." James grinned. "I still believe I have Lily's pillow. I sleep with it."

"I am afraid that he is speaking the truth." Sirius patted James on the back, a pity pat.

"Next to send a letter is from our dear friend, FamousNoOne. She says to James, Don't date anyone else. That wouldn't be fair to you, the girl, or your Lily Flower. Just be patient, be nice, and be yourself."

"I am in agreement with you, luv." James frowned, ever so slightly. "Do I have to be nice to everyone or just Lily? I am trying cutting back the hex impulse, I find it very challenging. I believe it is against my nature. After all, a wizard that hex is better with their reflexes than one that does not and in my time of living, one must be on top of their hexes. It is a means of survival."

"Aye, that's a fact." Sirius agreed. "To stop hexing could be the death of us and Lily Dearest shouldn't want that on her lovely hands."

"You noticed her hands are quite lovely?" James leaned his chair back on its back legs. "Those nice long fingers and her nails are always pristine."

"They are very lovely but please no, I only realize this because you mentioned it. I don't go up to a girl and think 'her hands are lovely', it's not how I go about things." Sirius explained.

"Sirius, FamousNoOne would like to know if you consider yourself a to be a manwhore as she had heard a lot of terrible things about you lately, and she was just wondering who you royally screwed over?"

"Har-har! Screwed over!" James laughed.

"I can't say that I gave them a royal screw over, I am saving the royal effects for Mrs. Sirius Black but I've done the best with the time I had." Sirius smoothed his hair back and straightened the sleeve of his robe. "As being a man-whore, well I do have limitations and I try to make an actual relationship out of my special moments. Sadly, they just don't seem to last long. Am I to fault? Sometimes and sometimes not. Have I date more than my share of witches? Some would say yes. Am I out to love as many witches I can? I am thinking of setting that my life goal. So as for now, no I do not consider myself to be a man-whore but perhaps in the future I shall change my answer."

"I consider him to be a man-whore." James said.

"That's because you hadn't even had one screw over." Sirius explained. "So if someone was to compare me to James', than yes I am a man-whore."

"You have been with more birds than me." Peter said.

"And me." Remus added.

"Fine. If you compare how many times I have slept with a witch compared to my fellow Marauders, than yes I am a bloody whore!" Sirius shouted.

"Best move on, Pete." James nodded to the letters in Peter's hand.

"Yes. FamousNoOne address me when I think is the best time to eat an omelet? Most people say breakfast, but she had one for lunch and found it just as satisfying." Peter placed the letter aside. "I believe my friends shall agree with me when I say that the best time to eat breakfast is well into noon. As it is to be the most important eating moment of the day, yet so few can properly enjoy a well done omelet because morning comes about quite abruptly."

"I agree." Sirius backed Peter up. "I'm too tired to enjoy my breakfast. I'm not even sure what I eat sometimes."

"I'm always rushing around, trying to get this lot organized that I too sometimes don't enjoy breakfast." Remus stated.

"How does morning get here abruptly?" James asked. "It comes about the same time every morning."

"James doesn't sleep so he probably is already awake when he is eating any meal." Sirius sighed.

"Next question from FamousNoOne is addressed to Remus. She sincerely hopes you don't think that she honestly enjoy your date trip to Hogsmeade. And if you didn't enjoy yourself, she would understand if you didn't want to go again with her this weekend. She can't think of a decent question at the moment."

"Who to say the question had to be a decent one?" James looked over at Sirius.

"It can be very indecent." Sirius stated.

"So our blushing Headboy, what do you have to say?" James asked Remus. "Did you enjoy our date to Hogsmeade?"

"I think it would have gone better if it weren't 'us' but just her and I." Remus frowned.

"Are you saying you no longer enjoy our company?" Sirius mocked a hurt expression.

"Of course I do just not when I'm on a date." Remus said.

"I invite you to all my dates." James frowned.

"You go alone because Lily never accepts your invitations." Remus explained. "I'm sure if she did, you wouldn't invite me along."

"I would defiantly meet up with you somewhere along the way." James thought it over. "I am sure of it. We come in a pack, you know. Friends and family that is a fine line. There is no accepting me without accepting the lot."

"Maybe that's why Lily isn't saying yes to you." Peter said. "She doesn't accept us yet."

"No." James shook his head. "Lily mind is like describing the taste of fresh ginger."

Peter, Remus, and Sirius looked at James than at each other and then at James again.

"Um..never mind." Peter shook his head. "So Remus, are you up for another try in dating?"

"Are you guys going to stay away?" Remus asked.

"We will give it our best but Hogmeade is very small." James held his thumb and forefinger close together. "We are bound to run into you and your date."

"We'll give you the first two hours together." Sirius warned him. "After two hours, I expect you to be at our side with all your clothes on. I don't want to see any love bites on you. No lipstick. No misarranged necktie."

"Yes dad." Remus rolled his eyes.

"Well, what do you say, luv?" Sirius looked over at James. "Should we let our boy go on a date alone."

"I don't if we should." James tisked. "What do we know of her? She might take advantage of our little Moon-beam."

"I know but we must let him grow up some time." Sirius patted James' shoulder.

"Fine. I don't feel comfortable with the idea but we will just see how it works out." James huffed. "I do expect you to be in the public eye at all times. No sneaking in the allies trying to get a quick bang."

"Can you two embarrass me more?" Remus asked.

"You haven't witness anything yet, my boy!" Sirius barked.

"So, can he go?" Peter asked James and Sirius.

"Yes he can go on a date this weekend." Sirius told him.

"Isn't that great!" Peter looked over at Remus, clearly happy for him.

"I was going to agree to this weekend no matter what they said." Remus told Peter. "I did have fun before you lot showed up."

"He's such a rebel." James looked over at Sirius. "He gets it from you, you know."

"Next question is from Slugston who has tried butter beer and found it taste." Peter continued with the letters. "Slugston would also like to know what mental aspect of a lady we enjoy and what isn't so enjoyable?"

"Er…do we even want to try to answer this?" James looked over at the other Marauders.

"Of course!" Sirius barked. "We answer all questions best to our abilities. Remus, go ahead, answer the question."

"Me?" Remus eyes grew large. "Why not you? You're the man-whore!"

"You're the smart one." Sirius explained.

"And you!" Remus added.

"I shall answer the question. Lily is going to marry me no matter how I answer it." James decided bravely. "What I find mentally attractive to Lily is her ability to sympathize no matter what a person is telling her. You can see it in her face expression. Her eyes get all teary if it's something sad. Her face brightens if it is something brilliant. She doesn't hide back her feelings and she stand up for what she truly believes. What I don't find attractive is her ability to remember everything I've done wrong. She says she forgives me. She says she is willing to move past that. She says its history. It isn't, not. She is quite good at recalling those moments back up and seems genuinely upset that I don't remember them."

"They are all laughing at you." Sirius told him. "Just so you know."

"Detrapped is interested if we were to have a child…" Peter started.

"Together? I don't believe it is possible." Sirius looked taken back.

"Not with me. I'm saving myself." James told them.

"If we each had our own child and our own wives." Remus restated.

"Yes, would we want that child to be extremely ugly but brilliant or insanely beautiful but extremely stupid?" Peter finished.

"That is a hard question." James rubbed his hair. "Being both beautiful and intelligent, I cannot imagine a life without the other."

"I can relate." Sirius scratched his chin.

"I think extremely beautiful but stupid." Peter answered. "The child would know that it's beautiful but too stupid to know it's not smart. If the child was smart and ugly, it would be aware of it and have a lower self-esteem and probably commit suicide or murder."

"I'm with Pete." Remus frowned. "It's sad to say but people do judge you by looks more than intelligence."

"Let the child be gifted, reproduce with me." Sirius told the audience.

"You are a man-whore!" James gasped.

"Serenity has a question. She would like to know why we all matter." Peter frowned. "I feel this is one of those deep feelings questions that only a girl would ask."

"Why do we matter?" James frowned. "We bring something into the world like anyone else. We bring Laughter. Loyalty. Value. Determination. Love. Friendship. I think we bring it all because the lives around us are in need of it. We are in need of it as well."

"Well said." Remus agreed.

"Idonotget would like to know what impact we which to leave in this world and if we knowing going to die today, would we do what we are about to do?" Peter read.

"Gawd!" Sirius took the letter from Peter. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you people! Death seems to be playing on everyone's mind tonight!"

"Obviously we would not be doing what we are about to do if we knew we were going to die today." James answered. "I would for one, kiss Lily until we couldn't breathe. I'd do my best to make her see we are to be together before the day ended."

"I'd get so pissed faced; I wouldn't know I was going to die." Sirius laughed. "Have a going away party!"

"I'd be partying beside you, mate." Remus grinned.

"I think I would write a book. So people would know me and understand me." Peter said. "I get the feeling that I'm not approached sometimes."

"The impact I would like to leave in this world is hold onto those that you love." James said. "Remember them and perhaps the memory would guide you as if they were really there."

"I'd say friendship." Remus said. "It is hard to be a friend that someone would like to have. There are friends out there who are there but really good friends, they are short supplied. Hold onto them. Treat them well and when you need them, they won't walk away."

"Honour." Sirius finally said. "It's yourself value. You can be wealthy or dirt poor but on the final call, it's your honour that will be appraised."

"To know when to make a grand exist or go quietly." Peter thought with a bit of a smile. "That is about all for the letters."

"We would like to tell the audience how great they have been through our broadcasting and we completely understand if you run out of questions. Just saying how great we are is enough." Sirius smiled.

"To the poll now!" James rubbed his hands together.

"Our poll question is, Should James Date Other People." Remus read.

"Zero said, No, let him wait for Lily." Peter read.

"I want a recount!" James pointed at Peter's statistics.

"Okay." Peter looked at his paper. "Zero still said No, let him wait for Lily."

"One said that he should date other people because he is pathetic." Sirius grinned.

"That was your vote, wasn't it?" James asked.

"You know we don't vote in these." Sirius shrugged. "Probably Lily voted."

"She doesn't really want me to date other people." James told him. "She couldn't handle the possibilities."

"Two said that James should date other people because he needs the practice." Remus read.

"I can somewhat understand that but I think Lily will more happy to know that she was my first for everything." James told them.

"Four said that James was the only man for Lily and that she is waiting for him to turn into that man." Peter giggled.

"I'm insulted!" James mocked a hurt expression.

"That's the end of the poll for this week. If you have something you would like us to place on the poll, let us know. In the meantime, keep those questions coming or just reviewing is enough." Remus went on. "Our next poll is where do House Elves come from."

"Have a good night and everyone tell Lily to dream about me. It might help." James said.

"Remember, Moaning Myrtle will be at the show next week. If you would others to make guest appearance, send in the names. If there is a place you would like us to do air time at, let us know." Remus reminded the listeners."Don't forget to vote. Look for the poll on the profile page and click the link."

* * *

Thanks for the great reviews aimed Marauder4U way! I appreciate them greatly.


	13. Chapter 13

"Good evening fellow students." Remus adjusted the microphone on the floor a bit more. "As promised we are visiting Myrtle in her haunted bathroom here on the second floor."

"She hasn't come out of the loo yet." Sirius explained. "Claims to be prettying herself up a bit."

"We aren't quite sure why seeing as we are airing through a radio and not a television." James added.

"We didn't receive many letters this week either." Peter looked down at the small pile of notes. "Clearly the blame falls upon Myrtle. No one is interested in her, I suppose. I personality understand why."

"Hellooo." Myrtle finally appearing, snuggling between James and Sirius. She gave her annoying giggle as she petted James hair.

"Don't go doing that. It gives me the shivers." James hitched his shoulders up to his neck as he tried to scoot further away from her touch.

"So Myrtle we have some questions our reviewers sent us and a few are directed to you." Sirius grinned at James discomfort. "Like James, he would like to know what you are doing this Friday Night as he is looking forward to an enjoyable evening of polish armor. It's a perfect moment for you two lovely-dovies to get to know each other a bit more."

"Oh…!" Myrtle giggled as she coyly hid her grin with her hand.

"I'm going to kill you, Sirius. I'm going to tie you up to your bed post and make Peter put flesh eating slugs all over your body." James glared at his best mate.

"Me?" Peter squeaked. "W-why me?"

"I'm not going to go about touching them." James wrinkled his nose up in disgust.

"Please. No. Anything but slugs." Sirius mocked with disinterest.

"Myrtle, I am the sole property of Lily Evans. I told you that before you started your obsession." James explained. "Sirius, who looks remarkably similar to me but less cooler is always free. In fact, he has mentioned that your bathroom is the place to die for."

"Oh…!" Myrtle giggle once again as she slid closer to Sirius. "You like my bathroom do you? We can share it. Together. Forever."

"Er…well I'd love to but I am quite certain that I am to go to hell when forever comes about. James on the other hand…" Sirius shrugged as he turned his grey eyes on his friend.

"Lily and I will be making history together. Best bat those ghostly eyes on someone else." James stated.

"Our questions." Remus waved a page in front of his friends. "This one is from Slugston. Slugston's first question is address to you, Myrtle. Now that you are…well dead, what do you miss the most about the living?"

"Nothing. People are horrible! They are rude and call me names because I wear glasses and said I whined a lot! I'm glad I'm dead! Now if someone is mean to me I can haunt them!" Myrtle wailed.

"Yeah, don't you have a restraining order against you?" Sirius asked her but quickly turned to James. "You could become Myrtle one day."

"No. I'm awesome in glasses." James tapped his lens. Instantly, Sirius reached over to claim them but James was able to pull out of his reach.

"Right. Slugston would also like to know, and this is for all to answer, what is worse about our gender." Remus looked over at the guys. "I think it's the pressure of always having to ask girls out. The worry if they will laugh in your face or say yes and it doesn't work out and you left with guilt for trying to get out."

"Yeah." James shook his head. "I don't have any of those problems. I think for me, the worse about my gender having to be solid when everything around you falls apart."

"And the whole thing about not being able to hug or comfort each other in a brotherly way." Peter added.

"You just want James to comfort you with a hug." Sirius grinned.

"My point!" Peter pointed to Sirius.

"For my gender it is appearance of always having to look good and not for boys." Myrtle shook her ghostly head. "If a certain girl says you are ugly it is enough for all of the Hogwarts students to think the same thing."

"Well some things you can't help but agree upon." James told her.

"WHhhhhaaaaa" Myrtle zoomed around the room.

"My head." Remus rubbed his temples.

"Why did you have to go and say that?" Sirius punched James hard on the arm. "I hate it when girls cry."

"Ow. Oh look. Sirius has hit me. He must like Myrtle." James mocked as he rubbed his arm.

Myrtle stopped her moaning above the boys to blink a few times at the boys. She giggled and slip back down to nest against Sirius.

"Blood bastard." Sirius glared at James.

"Next question is from Serenity, she would like to know if anyone including Myrtle has ever kissed someone whose name started with an 'S'?" Remus grinned and instantly looked at Sirius.

"You told." Sirius accused.

"I didn't but you know how things spread around the school. Its possibility that someone witness it and told everyone else." Remus laughed.

"Now I have to date four more girls just so people would stop talking." Sirius growled.

"I kissed Sirius." James admitted. "It happened in the common room in front of many students. I was drunk, he was drunk, everyone was drunk. He was wearing a red towel about his head like a turban and I hadn't my glasses on. I thought he was Lily. I don't know what he was thinking. One thing lead to another and I kissed him. There. I said it."

"I was expecting him to kiss me but I was flattered about his reference on what a nice bum I had." Sirius sniffled. "It meant nothing."

"I kissed Sirius as well." Peter admitted. "It was late and we both were in the kitchen during the Christmas Holiday. We had too much eggnog. He smelled like éclairs and I was overcome by all the emotions about not going home that year and always being picked on and he was comforting well…well it was quick and wasn't any tongue."

Myrtle patted Peter on the back, clearly sympathizing on his torment involving other students. Still, though it was a warming instant, her icy hands ruined the moment.

"I have never kissed Sirius or anyone with an 'S' that I am aware of." Remus answered.

"But you want too." James whispered with a wink.

"Not in the least." Remus moved on to the next question. "Serenity would like to know if we ever doubt the existence of others than you. I love this question! I have to say that I do. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adrift someone where in a coma state of mind and perhaps someone is reading me a story where I become a character and my mind develops others to fit the story."

"You think I am a character in some bloody book?" James asked. "I'm as real as it gets."

"I think the answer to that would cause my head to hurt so I pass." Peter answered.

"I never doubt anyones' existence though I wish I could be proven wrong." Sirius also answered.

"Serenity would like to know, from a scale of one to five, how afraid of the dark are we?" Remus read.

"I am a five." Myrtle admitted.

"Why? You are already dead." Peter scrunched up his face with puzzlement.

"Just because I'm dead I can't have feelings of fear!" Myrtle shouted.

"I didn't mean that. It just that it doesn't make sense, does it? You cannot die twice." Peter explained.

"You think I'm stupid because I'm a ghost!" Myrtle wailed.

"No. You know what. Forget it. This is turning out to be that girl argument guys don't want to be involved in." Peter made a wiping his hands clean slap.

"A girl thing is it?" Myrtle huffed.

"Let us just continue with the letters, shall we?" Remus smiled to all. "Serenity is now asking us what she is holding in her hands."

"My owling address, luv. Use it some time." Sirius whispered in his sexy voice.

"This isn't a dating service, shall I remind you." Remus scolded him.

"You hooked up during one of our sessions and made a whole snogging session later." Sirius reminded him.

"He does have a point there." Peter pointed out. Remus glared at him. "Just saying."

"Mana has a question for Myrtle." Remus looked down at his letter.

"Oh that's our Snuggie War bird!" James bounced. "Doesn't that name just makes you want to out there and hug a bunny?"

"No." Remus and Sirius shook their heads.

"W-well in a way." Peter admitted.

"So Mana would like to know what your thoughts are about Tom Riddle, Myrtle." Remus finished the question.

"He is a terrible dark boy!" Myrtle wailed. "He did things to other students but when the headmaster would call him on it, he would act innocent and always got away with things. He would smirk a lot too because as evil as Tom Riddle was, he was very clever. He knew the other professors thought him to be a model student and always take his word over all others."

"Idonotget would like to know if you were able to move on; beyond the loo that is, would you do it Myrtle." Remus asked.

"I like it here. This place never chances and I get more respect haunting Hogwarts than I did when I was alive. Besides I have what every girl would kill for." Myrtle answered.

"What's that?" Peter asked.

"A bathroom to myself!" Myrtle giggled.

"The last question is from De Trapped." Remus grinned. "Who is asking to know what is the one question we would be afraid to tell the truth on."

"Do we have to answer that? I mean, it's kind of given that next week question will be what we don't wish to tell the truth about and if we don't tell the truth about it, they would know we are lying about it and therefor figure out the truth. Not that I have anything to hide. I do wish I had a question I would be afraid to have someone ask me. Now I feel a bit disappointed in myself. I have no mystery at all." James blinked around the group.

"I am going to skip that question. I know we promised to answer to the best of our abilities but that question is a stunner." Sirius looked over at Peter.

"My weight. I would lie about it." Peter said quite honestly.

"I'd lie about Pete's weight as well." Remus agreed. "So that ends our questions for this week. Serenity has requested an interview with Hagrid which wouldn't be hard to pull off. So next week, our special guest will be the Hogwarts Groundkeeper, Hagrid. We would like to thank Myrtle for being a good sport on our show tonight. She only request is if you see her, please do not throw spit balls through her forehead for twenty house points. Whoever passed that story around was only spreading a rumor and having a go at Myrtle's expense. Your house will not be giving any house points whatsoever for tossing spit balls at Myrtle."

Sirius and James winked at each other.

"Our poll question for last weeks was, where do House Elves come from?" Remus read.

"One person agreed with me on believing a banshee does an air delivery, dropping the House Elf down the chimney in the wee morn' hours." James stated.

"No one agreed with me on finding them in a dragon's cave under some rocks." Peter shrugged but clearly disappointed.

"Only one believed that they come from the Happy Elf Farm. Where you can purchase them and sometimes if you get three you can get the forth free." Sirius read. "This is a bit true. There is a community that unemployed house elves go to when they are no longer welcome in their owners' home. There a wizardry family can meet and pick out the house elf best suited for their family. House elves that have been at the establishment for a year are usually tossed in with a sale of sort."

"Two agree with me on saying that a Mum and a Dad elf makes the baby elves. After they are able to walk, they are ripped from their homes and dropped off at some stranger's home and forced to do manual labor." Remus read. "This is also true. There are places that solely breed house elves for this purpose."

"This week poll question is, What House have you been sorted into?" Sirius read. "Please follow the link on our profile to answer the poll."

"Thank you to everyone who sent a letter. I understand that some have celebrated their thanks to Indians this week. Apparently they like turkey but not tea." James shrugged. "No matter your preference, you wish the colonist out there had an enjoyable holiday. Keep the letters coming, we enjoy answering them."

"If you haven't any questions, just a review is fine. We love you to, just so you know." Peter added.

"Good night and signing off." Sirius whispered.


	14. Chapter 14

"Tonight we find ourselves in the humble home of Hagrid, the Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft Games Keeper. He is currently getting things set up to make his famous rock cakes. Later we shall use them to confuse Slytherins with concussions. It is highly amusing sport, I should say. If you would like to belt a Slytherin, we shall be selling the cakes at the door of the castle around eight. We prefer if you did not tell perfects. Before we began, Remus would like us to apologise for our lack of response last week. It seems that he is very sorry and thus we too must feel sorry." James grumbled.

"Really James we've been through this before. If you want the viewers to come back for more you must relate to their feelings." Remus sighed.

"What about my feelings? I am sure my fans wouldn't want me fretting over something that was clearly your fault." James countered.

"My fault? How is it my fault?" Remus asked.

"It was your plan that back fired and landed us in detention." James reminded him.

"That was your plan." Remus growled.

"Which you failed to make the proper corrections, thus it was your fault." James sang in a child's voice.

"He also was determined to have us study." Sirius barked.

"While in detention." Peter huffed.

"It was a perfect opportunity and it allow the duration of the detention to rapidly be completed." Remus explained.

"Well it bloody hell didn't work." James poked him. "Longest detention I had in a long time."

"Stop it. Personal space, James. We've been through this countless times." Remus rubbed his arm where James poked mercilessly.

"You really do need to work with him more on that. Why the other day I was snogging Sally when James pokes his head not more than five centimetres from our heads." Sirius glared over at James who just shrugged back in response.

"Why?" Remus looked over at James.

"Pete told me it would be a bit of a bother for Sirius to have someone watching him that close." James explained.

All the boys waited but apparently that was all James was going to offer. In his mind, it explained everything.

"We have received a few letters, which we thank you ahead of time. We know that it is become very difficult find clever or new questions. We too face the same problem with the poll. This indicated that no Gryffindor is listening to our broadcast." Remus sighed with disappointment.

"There, there, Moonie. They swear they hear enough of us as it is." Peter explained, giving Remus a pat on the shoulder.

"I'm back!" Hagrid unloaded his arms with the supplies. "Did you explain?" Hagrid smiled at the microphone, rubbing his hands together.

"Not quite yet. Remus felt the need to apologise first." James explained. "You see in today's show, because of Serenity's question of how rock cakes are made, we decided that we all shall make a batch. On this week's poll, the question shall be which batch you would take."

"Without a remedy, mind you." Sirius added.

"Shall we start?" James glanced down at the plentiful bowls Hagrid had placed on his wooden table.

"Before each of you are the proper indigents and the recipe to make my special rock cakes." Hagrid wiped his hands on his coat. "Now a good recipe is one that you make as your own. It's best to only use my recipe as a guide line, understand."

"So what have we got?" Remus looked over the ingredients.

"The list is 225g of raising flour, tsp of baking powder, 110g of soft butter, 55g of regular sugar…er, James don't eat that."

"It's really good by the spoonful." James explained taking another mouthful of sugar.

"You'll be needing that for the cake." Hagrid explained. "Where was I…Oh, 110g of dried fruit of your choosing, 55g of currants, and an egg and 3 tbsp of milk with some Demerara sugar to sprinkle on top. Almost forgot, oil so it doesn't stick to the pan. Once we mix the lot up, we'll be toasting in the fire pit for fifteen minutes at 200 c." Hagrid explained.

"It sounds extremely complicated." Peter cracked his egg open. "I have decided to use one newt egg, as I really don't like eggs much."

"I'm not sure you should be doing that, Pete." Remus watched the little egg slip into Peter's bowl.

"Hagrid said to figure out our own recipe." Peter shrugged. "To make it our own, he just said that."

"I have decided that I shall use vegetables in replace of fruit." Sirius explained.

"Mushrooms." James giggled.

"Sh.." Sirius ribbed James who was putting two of everything in his bowl. "I think you are supposed to crack that egg, James."

"It doesn't say that. It says, put everything in one bowl." James pointed to the recipe. "Nothing about cracking it."

"As we mix our products we shall be answering the letters." Remus explained. "Our first set of questions are from FamousNoOne who would like to know what we like to sing and dance to."

"Twisted Witches, Toad Apocalypse, WitchSmack, Gorillas." James listed.

"What are our favourite party food." Remus asked.

"Isn't it enough we like food but have to have favourite?" Sirius sighed. "Anything I can carry while at the party but nothing with garlic, it ruins the kiss."

"I like that bubble drink Lily brings." James commented.

"That's a fizzy , James." Sirius told him.

"I also like finger food, as Sirius mention these are easy to snack while you are mingling with friends." Peter explained. "That cheese in the can, great stuff."

"I like the chocolate syrup in the bottle, myself." Remus put in. "We are giving three names, which are: McGonagall, Dumbledore and Moaning Myrtle. Out of those names we must pick who we would marry, hag and who we would throw off a cliff."

"B-but I belong to Lily. She almost said yes to me today." James explained. "I'm wearing her down."

"Or giving her a nervous breakdown." Sirius said.

"If that's what it takes to get a yes, I don't rightly care how it comes about." James shrugged.

"Oddly, we do not have to shag the one we marry so I pick the D-master to wed. Mother would be so happy. I'd shag Minnie, she probably needs a good shag. I suppose that leaves Myrtle to toss over the cliff what little good that would do. She'd just come back moaning about it later."

"People pay good money to be pushed off a cliff." James said. "I find it quite thrilling myself."

"I have to agree with Sirius' pick." Remus looked over at Peter. "What do you say?"

"Yeah, me too. How about you Hagrid." Peter asked, blinking up at the big man.

"I think it would be best if I didn't answer that question. Work relation, you know." Hagrid explained.

"Uh…well that seems to be it from FamousNoone so we'll move to the next question." Remus flipped to the next letter.

"Say, you forgot a question." Peter took the last sheet from Remus. "FamousNoOne would like to know if Remus would to go to her place for a few days over Christmas break?"

"Gasp!" Sirius mocked. "You weren't going to tell us about that question?"

"Well he can't go. He's coming to my house on those days." James pouted.

"She didn't say when, James." Sirius looked over at his friend. "Let the lad go. He'll find time for baby Jamesy."

"I'm not being a baby about this. I'm just saying that my plans come first. I don't understand why it's so complicated." James sulked.

"I'll be there, James. I'd like to go to her place as well." Remus explained.

"Just because you are going to die pinning over Lily doesn't mean we should die waiting for it to happen." Peter huffed. "Remus should go or we could take a vote."

"Fine, we vote but just so you know since I am the leader, my vote counts four times." James stated.

"Doesn't work that way, mate." Sirius grinned. "Remus is going and that is that. He'll find time to visit us and spend a few days with us as well."

"Thank you, Sirius. Though I don't need anyone's permission." Remus tore the letter from Peter's hand.

"Don't be surprise if I come knocking at the door." James hummed as he tossed some more sugar cubes into his batter.

"Next question is from RandomFandom. Remus, this question is directed towards you. What incident with your friends embarrassed you the most, besides the date." Peter looked up at the tall wolf.

"There are so many." Remus tapped his chin. "I believe it was when they decided they had the authority to direct muggle traffic at the round-a-bout. Things did get a bit ugly. When you tell James and Sirius to play in traffic, they will."

"Great times. Those muggles sure know how to blow their horns." Sirius grinned.

"And that one lost the front of his car." James remembered.

"And that uniform person with the car that blinked, that was a fun ride." Sirius added.

"Yeah, almost forgotten about that. We got pictures of our finger tips that day!" James grinned.

"Next question is from, Idonotget. Who would like to know what our favourite word is and which noise we hate the most." Remus read. "I cannot say that I hate a word. As for noises, it probably is the sound of finger nails on a board."

"The sound of someone empting their stomach." Sirius crunched up his nose. "Makes me want to do the same. The word I hate the most is mudblood."

"I hate the sound of armour when it has an itch." Peter thought about the hall of armour that would move randomly. "I hate Latin words, they are hard to remember."

"I usually make the annoying noises so I have nothing to complain about." James explained. "As for the word, No. Yeah, I'm not fond of that word. Lily is however."

"De Trapped would like to know if it is legal for a man to marry his widow's sister." Remus grinned.

"Well in most sophisticated areas, the dead do not remarry once they are dead. Though he might wish to check the local regulations, but I believe there is no law that forbids a dead man to marry. He might want a divorcé first." Sirius answered. "Now on that, I believe it would be illegal for the widow's sister to marry the dead man."

"De Trapped also says that a ten foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung on the surface of the water. The rungs are one foot apart, and the tide goes up at the rate of six inches per hour. How long will it be until three rungs are covered?" Remus read.

"The boat is afloat and will rise with the tide." James smiled tapping his brain.

"Slugston would like to know, besides dragons, Hagrid what are your favourite magical creature?" Remus looked over at the giant of a man.

"Unicorns." Hagrid placed his cake sheet over the fire. "Nothing more magical than Unicorns."

"I think I ate too much sugar?" James whined, holding his stomach.

"You only had a cupful." Sirius rolled his eyes in sarcasm.

"Well than it was something else I ate." James whimpered.

"Slugston would also like to know if it is impossible for someone to lick their own elbow." Remus tried and shrugged, "Can't do it." He glanced over at his friends, all in twisted, agonizing angle trying to touch their tongues to their elbows. "It does look quite impossible. I suggest you 'Youtube' it. If it can be done, it shall be there you find it."

"Shout out!" James shouted. "To Hagrid from Idonotget. The view says Hiya!"

"Hiya!" Hagrid said back.

"Let us look at our cakes." Remus peered at Peters. "Well your cake looks quite nice. I like the yellow tone. What did you put in it to make it like that?"

"Cheese. A lot of cheese. Oh, and some daisies." Peter explained.

"And Sirius. That is quite a volcanoes size." Remus looked at the swelling cake. "And it looks soft and fluffy, nothing like a rock cake."

"I think I used too much rising flour." Sirius carefully poked his cake and a jet of steam boiled out as the cake deflated.

"James…er." Remus looked at the black cookie size cake.

"I ate the batter." James explained. "It's all I had left of bake. I probably shouldn't have baked it for the fifteen minutes."

"Remus you own cake doesn't look very good." Peter pointed out. "It looks like brown soup. Did you bake it?"

"Well, yes." Remus blinked at his cake. "I followed the instructions."

"It takes practice to make a good rock cake." Hagrid patted Remus on the back.

"That's all we have for tonight. Remember to vote on which cake you would taste. We probably should get James to the hospital wing because of his sugar overdose." Peter said.

"Ah before we go we probably should warn you that with holidays and examines and family and friends, we may not be weekly this December. So if we don't catch you before, have a splendid holiday!" Sirius cheered.


	15. Chapter 15

"Good evening to our fellow students of Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry and to those who are not as unique or awesome as I am." James addressed the listeners.

"Prongs, that is not the proper way to address our listeners." Remus scolded.

"Sorry. I am a bit knackered and I believe what I stand without offense and makes utterly sense. I think." James blinked at the microphone. "Either way it does not change a fact to fiction or vice versa, does it?"

"You have no idea of what you are going about, do you?" Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Not quite. For those who have not noticed, the world did not come to an end on the twenty-first of December. To those who knew better, kudos to you. To those who did not, I felt the pain first hand of having to cram all those assignments over brunch." James glared over at Remus.

"I do believe I told you so." Remus merely shrugged.

"We did receive a few letters by Owl Post which will always arrive on time because that is how the post works, is it not?" James went on. "Sirius, I believe you have a letter you would like to read."

"I do James." Sirius yawned quite rudely into the microphone. "Our first letter is from FamousNoOne, who by the way swears she will be keeping a note of Remus' special Wintery Fun while at her place. You may want to keep a look out for in her profile for the future story. Her letter shows gratitude of permission from myself as well as Peter in letting Remus have a few days in her care. Oddly, she states this is sarcasm but it is clear that she has used the word incorrectly. She addresses you, dear Prongs about using your Holiday in scheming a plan to win the fair hand of Lily Evans."

"As I wasn't?" James rolled his eyes. "I happen to go over my plans with all the Marauders just in case there is a flaw in my plans. With all our discussion, one would think I'd have Evans in my arms now but apparently intelligence can only get one so far."

"She also would like to thank Remus for going over for a visit." Sirius went on.

"My advice to FamousNoOne is if you are expecting one Marauder, best to make room for four." Peter grinned brightly.

"I hope he is wrong but I fear he is right." Remus muttered.

"She would like to know what are allergies are if we have any." Sirius went on.

"Is she planning to knock us off?" James glared at Remus as it was his fault.

"I doubt it. She probably is just asking a simple question." Remus explained. "I do not have any allergies."

"I believe snails." James said.

"You are not allergic to snails." Remus frowned at him.

"Blow off, mind you." James huffed.

"Someone isn't in the Holiday Spirit." Peter sang.

James glared.

"Garlic." Sirius put out. "I absolutely hate garlic."

"Which is fine but you are not allergic to it." Remus sighed.

"Oh. I am allergic to fabric sheet softeners." Sirius corrected himself. "Those fancy smelly fabric softeners sheets that you place in the dryer for cling free moments, can't have them against my skin."

"Sea sponge!" Peter grinned. "I played around with them during a year of art education week. My hands turned all blistery and swollen."

"Next question is what is our favorite part of the holiday and what is our worse?" Sirius read. "I cannot decide on this as I have two favorites. The first favorite, which I do believe I share with Peter is the delicious dishes every holiday has to offer."

"I do agree with that Padfoot." Peter nodded his head comically.

"My next favorite appeal to the holidays is the moments of romance." Sirius grinned wolfishly. "And there are plenty moments. One can always tell which holiday a bird prefers from the sparkle of her eyes and the sway of her body."

"I too must declare that that is also one of my favorite moments in a holiday." Peter held up his index finger.

"Yes but I act upon them while you watch." Sirius explained.

"Not everyone was born with savvy magnetism." Peter frowned.

"Quite right." Sirius patted him on the back. "The thing I dislike about the holidays and once again, I'd like to point out that Wormtail probably would agree with me is the over indulging of food, wine and to be nice, the women."

"I fancy the family gatherings, mind you that I only have Mum and Dad as all others has deceased." James sighed. "One day, I do hope Lily will be considered herself part of my family and perhaps agree how lucky she will be and continue to breed the Potter family into the world with many, many, like thirty children."

"You'll be lucky if she gives you the time of day nevertheless one child." Sirius snorted.

"And a lovely holiday to you too." James growled.

"Touchy." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Remus, do you have a favorite moment of the holiday?"

"The good will that people tend to give to their neighbors. It is a bloody shame that it takes a holiday to remember them but is what the holiday brings about." Remus explained.

"Such a sap." James rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to hand you over to the Slytherins if you don't get out of your foul mood." Sirius gave James' shoulder a punch.

"What I dislike about the holiday is the depression it brings to some people, which is another reason to remember those who may need an extra attention." Remus went on.

"Need a hug Prongs?" Sirius held out his arm.

"You're an arse." James blinked at him. "Just to let you aware of it, you know."

"I did tell you the world wasn't going to end. It's your own fault for not listening to me and getting a lecture by each Professor. You wouldn't have to spend one night cramming all the lessons at once." Remus huffed.

"Even if the world did end, Professor McGonagall is one Professor who would still expect you to hand it in." Peter added.

"Let us move to our next question." Sirius grinned, "This one is a bit of a thinker. It is from our dear Serenity. She would like to know what the worse part of being you is all about."

"Well for me it is very easy as I am sure my close friends…" Remus glanced at the other Marauders. "Can surely guess what that is but for purpose unknown to the public population, I'd like to keep it under the hat."

"Being bloody sexy is a dear hardship of being Padfoot." Sirius hummed.

"Yes well I suppose it is…well there is no down side of being me so I cannot answer this question." James looked over at Peter.

"Um…well I'm short, which doesn't help my stats in getting the girl. Also I more um…round which also doesn't help my cause. I am told that I am a bit slow in the mind and on foot. Also people like to mention about my uneven, crooked teeth and fine balding head and squinty beady watery eyes and one foot is slightly bigger than the other and…"

"You are depressing me." James smacked Peter. "Quit it!"

"Ouch." Peter whimpered.

"You are a right good friend and that is enough for me." James declared.

"Thank you." Peter eyed James with admiration.

"Course, he isn't the one that has to snog you." Sirius whispered.

"Sirius!" Remus glared at him.

"Just pointing the fact. Don't want the poor boy to have diluted ideas that he isn't going to have to pay for special night of personal attention from the fair gender." Sirius shrugged the glares off.

"There a lot of people who suffer depression during this holiday season, you are not helping to cheer them up." Remus lectured.

"Oh now it's my fault that they are not happy sorts?" Sirius asked.

"NEXT QUESTION!" James bawled into the microphone. "This is from Idonotget who would like to know the best place to hide an object the size of a foot."

All the Marauders blinked at the question.

"Is this foot still attached to a person?" Remus asked after a moment of silence.

"Or is it supposed to be removable?" Sirius asked.

"I suppose you could hide a foot in a shoe box." Peter shrugged.

"I often thought what I would do with the body of Snape if I accidently intentionally murdered him." James confessed. "I'd hike to a mountain, bury the body and plant a tree over it. No one looks under a live tree for a body."

"Probably will now." Remus muttered. "And I think we are jumping on this question the wrong way. It is nearly Christmas and so be that fact, it is possible that Idonotget would like to hide a gift that is about the size of one's foot and would like to know a good stashing place."

"The perfect hiding place is one that is hidden in plain view. It's the rule of hiding." Sirius stated. "People are only curious if the object is in a hiding area not one that they can clearly see."

"Next question is from Elizabeth C…"Peter started to read.

"A new viewer to our show, welcome!" James smiled brightly. "I always liked the name Elizabeth. I think that would be suitable for my first child's name."

"What if your first child is a boy?" Remus asked.

"I will spell it with a 's' instead of a 'z' than." James explained.

"Well Elizabeth would like to know what Remus finds to be the most important mathematical equation." Peter went on.

"Clearly a Raven Claw at our mist." Sirius enlightened the group. "No one else would care but a Raven."

"I find it to be a very interesting question. Why, without equations we may be stuck in the Stone Age as most inventions would have not been founded by our leading Originators. Equations reach further than simple math and technology. Without them, we would have no appreciative of the physics that directs the tides, ocean waves, the complex weather patterns, the arrangements of the planets, the nuclear-powered incinerators of the stars, the ringlets of galaxies - the massiveness of the universe and our place within it."

"I am yawning." James stated. "Just so cannot mathematically calculate this subject is boring me."

"Yes, please answer the question without the enthusiasm." Sirius stated.

"Well there are a thousand equations to choose from." Remus tried to explain.

"And Lizzy is asking for merely one." James explained while taking off his spectacles for a puff cleaning.

"I cannot decide just one." Remus tapped his fingers on the desk as he thought to himself.

"It cannot be so hard, can it?" Sirius asked. "Pick the first equation that comes to your mind."

"I like one plus one myself." Peter said helpfully.

"If I must pick only one I would say the Wave Equation." Remus sighed heavily.

"And the world has lifted from his shoulder." James patted Remus on the shoulder, while Sirius and Peter made wave motions with their hands. "Perhaps you should just stick with the yes or no question, eh?"

"To continue with the questions asked by Elizabeth, she would like to know why Regulus is nicer to her than to you, Sirius?" Peter looked over at his friend of that selected to wear all black on this day.

"Because he is a twit." Sirius shrugged. "How am I to know what the nutter thinks? Other than the fact that she is a she and I am a he, I have no bloody idea."

"Fine answer." Peter nodded not wanting to push the subject any further. "James, Elizabeth would like to know if you would still want to date Lily if she was a pureblood residing in the Slytherin House?"

"Nope. Not even a little bit though; I must say that I would be attractive to her in the sexual way but not in the loving way or soul mates that we are but she refuses to admit. Before all of Hogwarts' Witches start to gather into a mob to scorch out my eyes and tack my tongue let me explain why." James hurried. "Lily Evans is the remarkable person because of the way she was brought up, the things that she honors, what she values and the choices she has made to be the witch we know her to be. I fear that she would not be who she is today if she was a pureblood witch or reside in the Slytherins dorm."

"Well said, Mate." Remus patted James on the shoulder.

"Do I get a cookie?" James asked hopefully.

"Sure, after the broadcast but maybe if you're lucky Evans might give you a snog." Sirius winked at him.

"Right. Moving forward with Elizabeth, she would like to hand James some advice about stopping the pranks, causing humiliation on other people as they only ask for revenge and though they can be funny at times, pranks also hurt." Peter read.

"I am a bit confused. I never felt any pain at all." James shrugged and looked over at Sirius.

"Watching boiled eggs fly from propelled bubbles never hurt me." Sirius shrugged as well.

"And we keep saying that this Elizabeth is a she? Perhaps she is a he?" James asked.

"Um…Elizabeth is a girl's name, James." Remus explained.

"But…" James started.

"Next question from Elizabeth…well she was asked for our advice. She was asked on a date but isn't sure if she should bring money or expects him to pay." Peter read.

"A proper man always pays." James explained. "You should expect it but take some coins along; you never know if the bloke is a cheap bastard either."

"Not only have that but a bird should always be on the side of caution, you may need some notes for an emergency." Sirius explained. "Take your cell along."

"Elizabeth also would like to apologize for the spelling as auto-correction sucks." Peter explained.

"I do agree but mind you, Professors don't believe you." James nodded his head in all earnestly.

"Anonymously would like to know if we like rabbits and tigers." Remus read.

"I have nothing against them however; I never meant a tiger that liked me." James explained.

"I would never want to cross a rabid tiger." Peter shook his head.

"Not the question being asked, Pete." Sirius explained. "I have never had a tiger but rabbit is alright in a stew."

"I will be happy to read all hate mail from anyone who found Sirius' answer cruel." Remus smiled.

"From I Love You James." James grinned, pointing to himself before turning back to the letter and frowned. "Bloody hell she wants a horse. A white horse!"

"Some people have to pay for love, James." Sirius grinned.

"She also would like to know why you are so ugly." James pointed out.

"Obviously you wrote that." Sirius explained.

"I did no such thing!" James shook his head.

"You did so." Sirius argued.

"Did not!" James pointed to the pages.

"Looks like your writing to me." Sirius said.

"Since when are you an expert in handwriting? This is not my doing." James declared.

"I think the whole 'I love you James' is a dead giveaway that you wrote it." Peter poked in.

"I did no such thing." James barked. "And she would like to know what your name would be if you were a banana?"

"I guess I would be called a banana?" Peter shrugged.

"To a more happy question, Slugston would like to know what we think we are getting for Christmas." Remus read. "I no doubt will get a book and some chocolate."

"I will get cursed and perhaps some snogs from the people who are not cursing me." Sirius stated.

"I am not about to snog you, just so you know." James blinked at him. "I will be getting everything on my Christmas Wish List."

"That consist of ten pages." Peter rolled his eyes.

"Three pages are dedicated to wishes that Lily would give him and I can tell you that you are in for some Christmas disappointment from her." Sirius told him.

"Um…you didn't send your mum those pages, did you Prongs?" Remus asked.

"Of course not." James patted his hand at Remus. Than frowned appeared on his face. "Bugger me sideways with a barbell! I'm not sure. Not sure at all. I believe I need to send a word to my father!"

"Considering that it is about…" Remus glanced at the time. "A bit after one on the twenty third of December, you may find that Mrs. Potter requested that Mr. Potter to have a proper talk with her little man."

"Har!" Sirius slapped his leg. "I'd pay to see that!"

"We may not have to pay, as we are invited over to the Potter Manor." Peter grinned at the flushing James.

"Bugger off." James fumed but it quickly turned to a grin. "Ah well, they were bond to know about their future daughter-in-law in time."

"Probably didn't want to know what your dirty little mind thinks about their future-daughter-in-law." Sirius harked.

"Slugston would like to know if magical people suffer from colds and flues." Remus read. "We do but not as long as muggles as our potions help cease the illness fairly quickly."

"Nasty stuff to take though." James pulled a face. "Had a bit of the potion a week ago. I'm told it was due to flying in freezing rain but I doubt it."

"What insect would we wish to be and which we would not want to be?" Remus laughed. "I love random questions like these. Makes one think about what normally one would not."

"I would not want to be a praying mantis." Sirius declared. "The female likes to rip off the head of the male during their intimate time together, so I am told."

"Thanks for that little info for now I find that I do not wish to be a praying mantis either." James added, which Peter and Remus hurried to add their dislike to be that insect.

"What I would like to be is an ant." Remus stated. "They seem to have their act together and have the ability to work together. Each has a job to do and they do it without lapse."

"Um…a cockroach, they live through everything." Peter stated.

"I find it odd that you turn into a rat and yet would like to be roach. It does make me question your inner thoughts." Sirius eyed his little friend suspiciously.

"I think I'd make a good dragonfly." James confirmed. "I like to fly and I like dragons."

"I think I could pull off being a Goliath beetles." Sirius said.

"I hear they like dog food as well." Remus smiled smugly.

"Aren't you full of laugher." Sirius glared.

"De Trapped would like to know what are favorite flavour of anything is. I suppose if the question would help if I we look at it as if all food tasted like one flavor, what would it be?" Remus looked at the group.

"Peppermint." James quickly added. "I love peppermint in my coffee and tea and toothpaste and as a treat."

"Chocolate Crème." Remus grinned.

"Irish Crème for me." Peter smiled.

"Chicken is about right." Sirius added.

"What is our favorite adverb?" Remus smiled. "I do like this question as well. Adverb for those who get confused easily please let me explained. An adverb a word that allows you to describe things. My favorite adverb is 'intentionally', what is your word Peter?"

"Um…quickly." Peter shrugged.

"Heavenly." Sirius grinned.

"I haven't got one." James frowned. "I don't care that I don't have one either, understand Remus."

"Some people do not appreciate education." Remus sighed.

"The poll! Two voted that Remus made the better batter. Two voted that James made the better batter. One voted that Hagrid made the better batter. Zero voted for me and Sirius."

"I don't feel the love." Sirius sighed. "The next poll is 'Do you vote' which will be posted until the New Year. Please check out our profile to vote."

"This concludes our broadcast for the Holiday. No rabbits were harmed in this broadcast. We shall be quite busy this week until after the New Year. For that we do wish to send our holiday greetings to all of our friends and fans that we have made this old year.

"Our Christmas wish is for peace in your world. Sometimes we watch the news and even we can see that it is clear that peace in the mind and peace in the heart is certainly needed in every person's world." Remus stated.

"Everyone deserves a joyful Christmas but sadly, that will not happen. Help a friend. Help a neighbor or even a family member. Remember the meaning of this holiday." Peter agreed.

"And if you don't celebrate the Christmas Holiday, well we hope you get a day off school or work." Sirius added.

"And bless the Old Year and bring on the New Year with grace, laughter, friends, family, harmony and love from Evans." James added.

"Happy Christmas to all!" The Marauders said in union.

(And from me to you)


	16. Chapter 16

"It has turned out to be another wonderful evening …as we didn't subject ourselves to detention or lost any house points. For that, we are able to share an hour on the air in order to provide small entertainment for our fans, reviewers, friends." Peter read from a page Remus had slip to him earlier.

"That was a very good introductory, Pete." Remus patted his friend on the shoulder.

"That was boring," Sirius yawned. "I'm sure half our listeners fell to sleep before Wormtail was even done."

"Speaking of worms," James sat forward in his chair with an impish grin. "Over heard Hagrid's beast of a dog has a few. You might want to get checked out Padfoot. Those nasty critters have a habit of hiding in the most usually areas."

"Buggar off." Sirius threw a balled letter at James' head. "Think yourself as a real wise guy, eh?"Sirius frowned as James continued to give him a mocking grin. "Keep it up and I'll have your antlers mounted on my wall."

"If a werewo…" James started but was interrupted by Peter slamming a hand over his mouth.

"Prongs." Peter warned as he eyed the microphone.

James backed his face out of Peter's hand. "Sorry, Remus."

"Try to be a bit more careful, Potter." Sirius sneered.

"Take the advice you give, Black." James shot back.

Remus took a brown paper bag from under his robes and placed it on the table. Carefully he pulled out a rebus cube and handed it over to Sirius.

"Oooohhh…" Sirus stared down at the colourful cube in his hand with a lopsided grin. "My cube!"

Remus reached in the bag once more (both James and Peter sitting on the edge of their seats in hopes to get a peak) and pulled out a muggle's colour book and pencils, which he handed to Peter.

"Oh!"Peter's eyes grew large. "Thanks Remus! I was working on a little puppy with a butter-beetle on its witty nose."Peter hurried to turn to the page he had been working on.

Remus looked over at the hopeful face of James and looked back at the bag. He rolled his eyes and gave James' the brown bag. "Don't be blowing in other people's faces, James." Remus warned him. "And just because you three have a minor distraction, I expect you to keep attention."

"Yes, Professor Lupin." James rolled his eyes at the lecture.

"We hope everyone had a swell holiday. I know I did." Remus smiled.

James made kissing sounds.

"I spent some of my holiday crashing this crazy couple's romantic holiday." Sirius grinned over at Remus.

"Yeah. I learned to play 'Gold Fish'", Peter stated. "You don't really fish."

"What was the letter that Sirius threw at you?" Remus asked James' as he nodded to the balled up paper in front of James.

James carefully smoothed out the note. "It says: Melody. Raven Claw. First Floor. South Wall. Second Room. Fifteen Minutes. Five point six. Sarah. Gryffindor. First Floor. South Wall. Third Broom Closet on Right. Ten Minutes. Four point two. Abigail. Hufflepuff. Fourth Floor. North Wall. Fourth Door on Right. Two Hours. Ten point ten." James' devilish grin was quick to appear. "It appears I have Sirius bragging sheet."

"Drool if you will, Prongs." Sirius reached over the table with his palm open for James to hand him the sheet. "Reading about it is as far as you will ever come if you keep pinning for Evans."

"That isn't entirely true, Sirius." James frowned but the gleam in his eyes was all humour. "I have my Quidditch Witch Fan magazine and it is far more interesting in your banging scale."

"Let us save that for Sirius Seduction Hour, shall we?" Remus cleared his throat and turned to Peter. "Please tell me you have a page to read?"

"I do." Peter smiled as he turned to another sheet in his hands. "This post came from our new fan, Elizabeth."

"Ohh!" James head flew up. "I remember him!"

"Well, yes but Elizabeth claims she is indeed a female, James." Peter held up the letter.

"How did your parents fail in teaching you simple name genders?"Sirius asked.

"This room has no open minds." James grumbled as he reached over to take a colour pencil from Peter to make a face on his brown bag.

"Elizabeth goes on to send her appreciation for answering her question." Peter continued.

"She has manners. I like her." Remus mused.

"I picture her as a lovely mannered girl with a bent to hell streak needing guidance and I am the right person to tech such guidance." Sirius remarked.

"Again, this isn't a dating service." Remus glared at him.

"You did it."Sirius shot back.

"I think she would have red hair." Peter put in. "Like the Muggle Queen, had back in the day. Queen Elizabeth I."

"Lily is the only girl with red hair." James frowned.

"Nuh-uh."Sirius coolly replied.

James placed his hand inside the brown bag, which he had turned into a puppet. "Uh-huh." He said as he made the bag open and close it's 'mouth'.

"Wow!" Peter eyed the bag with great interest and reached for it. "Can I have that?"

The brown bag looked at Peter.

Peter blinked at the brown bag.

The brown bag growled.

Peter slowly dropped his hand to his side.

The brown bag attacked Peter's nose.

"OW!" Peter yelled, rubbing his nose. "It bit me!" Peter looked over at Remus and Sirius for help.

"It was James." Sirius frowned.

Peter slowly turned back to the brown bag, which now had an evil grin on its face and menacing eyes, as James had charmed the face he had drawn to show its own facial expressions in simple form.

"When the lights go out tonight," James' voice took a raspy whisper sound as he made the puppet 'talk'. "I will slowly crawl out from under your bed. I will feast on your inter organs as you sleep!"

"Aaghhh!" Peter backed away from the bag.

"It's a bleeding bag, Peter!" Sirius laughed.

"Well he is going to be sleeping with you tonight, James!" Remus frowned. "He won't be letting us turn off the lights for a month! Thank you!"

"I don't think so." James held the bag in front of his face, which now had a frown on it.

Remus took the paper from Peter, who was in no condition to continue reading the letter, but kept a disapproving stare on James. "Elizabeth continues to with asking us what our favourite prank has been so far."

The brown bag smirked, as so did James.

"Put the bag down." Remus pointed to the floor. "It is a bit disturbing."

James slowly lowered the bag with a pout.

"Answering that question is difficult." Sirius tapped the table in his gifted hands. "We have done so many and naturally, we think our newer ones are far more interesting because, well it's new."

"Turning Hagrid's scarecrow into thinking it was a student was amusing." James put on a grinned that made all the girls swoon and boys envy, all but Lily Evans. "Professor McGonagall's face was hilarious when she saw it sitting behind a desk."

"That was brilliant." Remus smiled in at the memory.

"Oh, remember when James and Sirius charmed themselves to look like ghouls?"Peter beady eyes grew at the memory.

"I remember." Remus glared at the two boys.

"Aye. I do as well," A satisfied smile appeared on Sirius' handsome face. "We then took to hiding in a wardrobe that we snitched and switched from another room. Waiting for just the right time."

"We didn't wait too long as we knew Evans and Remus were tutoring some students in how to defend against Boggarts. It so happened that the wardrobe we switch had held a Boggart that was used for such a practice." James laughed.

"Naturally the incantation charm, Riddikulus, hadn't worked on us." Sirius added.

"Lily and I naturally thought the ghouls belonged to one of the students we were tutoring but weren't sure which and all the students thought it belonged to someone else." Remus continued to glare at the boys who wore proud looks upon their faces." Everyone was shouting the charm and swishing their wands about."

"I believe one of the lads had passed out on realising that no one could banish the boggart," James went on with the tale. "One girl ended up throwing her wand at us and then a shoe. That bloody hurt." James rubbed his forehead in remembrance.

"Naturally, being after lesson hours, Filch came to put an end to our 'party'," Sirius took off from where James had stopped. "He too thought we were boggarts and being a squib…"

"We don't know that for sure." Remus hissed.

"It is as obvious as my love for Lily." James stated.

"Well, Filch naturally verbally cursed the boggart and told his cat to attack."

"Which it did." Remus now laughed.

"Jumped right onto my back, it did." Sirius now glared at Remus. "The attack took me by surprise and I naturally, verbally insulted the cat and that tipped Remus into figuring it all out."

"And he hexed Sirius with boils and..." James shook his head and mocked a fake sniffle. "Evans had got me."

"She charmed his trousers to be filled with slugs!" Remus put his head back with laughter.

Sirius wiped a tear from his grey eyes. "The look on her face was simply priceless as James started screaming and slipped out of his trousers faster than a seeker flying after the golden snitch. He tossed his trousers on the other side of the room, refusing to put them on even after the slugs had been vanished."

"He was wearing those flying snitch pants!" Remus went on.

"It wasn't funny." James blinked at them. "I was a bit terrified. They were in my trousers! The slimy buggers were crawling up my legs!" James glared as the boys continue to laugh. "It isn't bloody funny! Not even a little bit! I had slim juice all over legs and they were clinging to my pants and in my socks! Probably trying to figure out how to mate and lay eggs on my leg hairs!"

"You are only making it worse!" Sirius howled.

"It deserved you right, though." Remus took a deep breath. "You scared those students so in turn, you got a scare yourself."

Peter covered his mouth so James didn't see the laughter in his smile.

"The only good thing about my horrible ordeal is that Lily was a bit nicer to me afterwards." James gave a little smile. "I look good without trousers."

"So that's some of the pranks." Remus finally said after the group calmed down a bit. "Here are some good, calm questions. These are from De Trapped."

"I would like to say that I find your profile picture a bit disturbing." Peter said. "Just letting you know. It scares me."

James slowly popped the brown bag up as it now looked back and forth with a mischievous grin, the same as James' own smile.

Peter scooted his chair closer to Remus.

"De Trapped has a question for each of us. Peter, he would like to know which body part you would pick if you must cut off a piece of your body, besides your hair. You have no choice but to do it. He gives an example of a toe and finger, hand and foot."

"Why loose a foot if you can take a toe?" Sirius asked.

"It's Peter's question, not your own." Remus reminded him.

"Well, I don't think I would ever willingly have a body part cut off me." Peter frowned. "I suppose my little toe. Not many Wizards have need of a little toe."

"You might get a good price for it at the same time." Sirius thought. "I'm sure there is a potion that needs a Wizard's little toe."

"True." Peter agreed. "But all the same, I would do anything to avoid it."

"Uh, Sirius." Remus turned to him. "De Trapped ask you to answer this question. 'Why are there 360 degrees in a circle?'"

"Are you sure this is my question?" Sirius frowned.

Remus nodded.

The brown bag nodded as well.

Sirius glared a warning look at James before turning to his attention back to the question. "This is a measurement based on the Babylonian culture, which used the circle of the Zodiac to make this measurement. Each degree signifies the distance that the sun journeys within twenty four hours, a day. Some Ravens are naturally thinking about the five degrees missing. Well the explanation for that was because back in those days, math wasn't exactly accurate."

"Right. I wish I could give you points but since we really aren't supposed to be doing this show, I suppose it equals out." Remus turned his attention to James, who held up his brown bag with a composed facial expression, ready to be grilled. "Only you would make a brown bag annoying." Remus fumed.

James shrugged.

"De Trapped would like to know why there is an expiring date on sour cream." Remus asked.

"So you know when it goes sour."James grinned.

"Don't be cheeky about it." Remus started to rub his head.

"That answer is really quite simple. Mind, sour cream isn't spoiled cream. No one 'forgot' to put it back in the cooler and resulted into souring. The cream is pasteurized to kill those little microorganisms that look like really tiny blotchy slugs. The makers pour some kind of bacteria in the cream and thus, produce a lactic acid. Now it gets a bit more intriguing from here." James smiled down at the brown bag, which now had wide wondrous eyes and an 'O' shaped mouth. "The bacteria that had been poured into the cream, well it is alive and feeds off the cream. It then poops out the acid! So there is an expiring date because eventually, there will be more acid than cream! Isn't just bloody fascinating! And there are people who digest this stuff!"

"There is poop inside the cream?" Peter frowned and quickly looked at Remus to confirm it.

"It's just acid."Remus shrugged it off.

"Acid. That makes it better how?" Peter asked.

"My question is on why the sun makes the skin dark while the hair is lighter." Remus ignored Peter's question on sour cream. "Every person has melanin in their skin. The Sun causes the production of melanin, which is a brown substance that helps filter out the Sun's harmful rays. In your hair it does the exact opposite. The Sun breaks down the melanin. Why? Because the cells on your skin are alive and still need that protection from the Sun. Your hair is a made up of deceased cells. Your body doesn't need to produce anything to protect cells that are dead."

"Do we have any more amusing questions?" Sirius asked. "I'm starting to think this De Trapped bloke belongs to the Ravens' house."

"Why don't you like that house?" Peter asked.

"It isn't that I don't like them. I find them very interesting, sometimes." Sirius sighed. "Just most of the time, the lovely ladies know better and that is sometimes can be boring."

"Most of the Witches know better, Sirius." Remus smiled. "I think it's the temptation of evil you spread that invites them to let you go as far as you do."

"Next question."James frowned. "Well this is from a Guest who writes, 'If you die, what will happen to your facebook account? Does it just get deleted? Sit there unattended? Does a family member speak to the facebook people to have it deleted?'"

"W-what?" Sirius wore a disbelief expression.

"What is a facebook?" Peter asked.

"Think it is obvious." Remus told him. "It's a book of faces. People probably volunteer to have their faces binder in this… book."

"Like all books, they get placed on the shelf." James answered. "If you die, the book is still on the shelf. I would advise not to take part in this 'facebook' as if you find yourself in a bit of trouble; your face may be used against you."

"True." Remus agreed. "Next question. Well this is odd."

"Like the last one wasn't?" Peter asked.

"The question says, 'Do you know how to turn your computer background into a mirror? Scanning a mirror doesn't work.'" Remus folded the paper in half. "I wouldn't be surprised if this question is by the same person who asked about the 'facebook'. We do not know anything about computers but mirrors I can tell you have a solid, reflecting back covered in glass. You can by this in a spray can but I promise, whatever glass surface you spray it on you will not be able to see through it."

"The next question is from someone name Thomas."Peter read.

"Thomas! A new name!"James smiled. "Welcome to our show!"

"Thomas just drank a tall, cold glass of lemonade and now is thirstier than before drinking the lemonade. Could Thomas be pregnant?"Peter read.

Remus frowned and peered over Peter's should in order to read the letter himself.

"Is the name Thomas unisex?" James asked.

"No, James." Sirius shook his head. "The signs of pregnancy: Passing gas, hiccupping, and hair lost, and oh yes, I do believe drinking lemonade. I suggest you get checked by a medical Witch or Wizard. Please."

"Moving onto the next err…" Remus looked up as their door flew open. "Who is she?"

The boys all shrugged.

"What is she carrying?" Sirius asked, suddenly feeling threaten. "Why is her chest heaving like that?"

"Don't know, mate." James made the raspy voice of the paper bag, which had a sly grin on its face. "But she seems to be staring at you."

"You!" The intruder cried, pointing a finger at Sirius. "Die!"

"W-what?" Sirius jumped from his chair as the girl came hurling towards him, swinging a board full of buttons with numbers and letters scrawled on each. "She's a nutter! Don't sit there! Get her…ouch! ... watch where you swing tha…bloody hell…that hurts…ouch!" Sirius ran about the room trying to cover his body parts. The other Marauders' watched.

"Um..should we grab her?" Peter asked.

"Where exactly do you grab a girl who's swinging an object about?"James asked.

"We know some hexes." Remus reminded him.

"Yes." James agreed.

Still the boys watched.

Finally, Sirius curled in a ball, covering his head with his hands and his knees drawn to his chest.

" . .Bunnies!" The girl cried, swinging the keyboard against Sirius' head with every word. Satisfied with the results of a whimpering Sirius, the girl straightened her stance, the key board at her side. She looked over at the other Marauders and gave them a nod of acknowledgment as she pushed the hair from her face."Evenin'"

"Ello." James gave her a slow finger wave, clearly shocked of what happen.

The paper bag covering James' hand copied Peter's expression.

Peter's mouth hung open.

Remus braced himself.

"Well…best be on my way." The girl only paused a moment to give Sirius one more glare before leaving the boys.

"Bloody hell!" Peter gasped out after a moment of silence. He looked at Remus, who knew all the answer. "Bloody hell!" He repeated himself. "I mean…bloody hell!"

"I believe that was one of our fans, RandomFandom." Remus said slowly, showing Peter the letter that read 'beats Sirius over the head with the keyboard, I FIGHT FOR THE RIGHTS OF BUNNIES.'

"Sirius?" James was kneeling down at Sirius body. He gently petted Sirius' head. "She's gone now, mate."

"W-hat was that?" Sirius slowly peeked through his fingers to insure the girl had indeed left.

"She didn't fancy last week's comment about you eating rabbit stew." James helped Sirius up. "Best not mention the enjoyment of being a carnivore on air. Birds are a might funny when it comes to bunnies and ponies."

"Who eats ponies?" Peter asked.

James shrugged. "I'm sure there are some countries that do."

James helped Sirius back to his seat. Remus conquered up an ice pack for him. Peter walked towards the door, looked out into the corridor – left and right, before shutting the door and locking it.

"Um…well back to the letters." Peter slowly walked back to his seat. "RandomFandom would like to know the best way to annoy someone and what is our favourite quote."

"Hitting them with a bleeding key board is a good start!" Sirius growled.

"Shhh…"James patted Sirius injured head. "It will be okay."

"Stop hitting me, Prongs!" Sirius growled again, backing out of James' reach.

James held up the puppet bag which had a very evil face on it.

"Prat!" Sirius spatted, tossing his rebus cube at James.

James reflexes were top notch, he duck out of the way.

"I find constant staring to be annoying or people who keep poking." Peter said.

"To get a better understanding, best just watch James in progress. He is quite good at being annoying." Remus stated. "As for favourite quotes. Mine is simple. Don't put off what you can do today."

"Mine is simple as well." Peter said. "Don't play leapfrog with unicorns."

Remus gave Peter a curious look.

"Don't know who said it but I think it's a good thing to remember." Peter told him.

James broke up laughing.

Sirius started to as well, but remembered his pain and winced instead.

"James, if you can control yourself a bit." Remus smirked, as James' laugh could become contagious at times.

"Right." James breathed a deep breath. "Lovely. Um..Oh, yes. My quote is 'James, I love you!'"

"Who said that? Your parents know doubt." Sirius said.

"Well yes but Lily as well." James told him.

"Good for you, Prongs. When was this? You never told us." Remus smiled sincerely.

"Ah… well she hadn't just yet but she will." James told them.

"You are pathetic." Sirius sighed out.

The paper bag frowned.

"Both of you." Sirius added then. "My quote is from the Shaiton's Fire. 'Apathy and evil. The two work hand in hand. Evil wills it. Apathy allows it. Evil hates the innocent and the defenceless most of all. Apathy doesn't care as long as it's not personally inconvenienced.'"

"Surprisingly, a good quote." Remus remarked.

"I'm not sure if I should thank you or hex you." Sirius frowned at Remus.

"Um…we do have a lot of letters." Peter told them.

"Serenity's question. She usually has some good ones and today is an excellent example." Remus stated. "She writes,'you are traveling down a country lane to a distant village. You reach a fork in the road and find a pair of identical twin sisters standing there. One standing on the road to your destination and the other standing on the road to quicksand land. You do not know which road to take. One of the sisters always tells the truth and the other always lies and you don't know which is which. Both sisters know where the roads go. If you are allowed to ask only one question to only one of the sisters to find the correct road to the village, what is your question?" Remus finished the letter. "The trick is that you can only ask ONE question. You can pick which sister, but you don't know which is the liar and which is the honest one."

"We can ask them if James' loves Lily Evans. The one that says no is the liar." Peter told Remus.

"Well yes but that would only tell us which is the liar." Sirius explained. "It will still leave us wondering which way to go."

"I would ask which way would the other person tell me to take?" James stated. "Doesn't matter which is the liar and which is the honest one. The honest one would point me in the direction the dishonest one would want me to go. The liar naturally wouldn't lead me on the right path and if asked, would also point me the wrong way."

"Very good, James." Remus smirked. "It's a bit frightening that you have the answer to that."

"You pull enough pranks, you learn to look around corners." James shrugged.

"Before we let the praise go to James' rather abnormal large head." Sirius interrupted. "The next question is from, syd004."

"Syd!" James called out. "A new viewer!"

"Syd's note says, that if we ever met the Dark Lord, we should run as Lives are at Stake."Sirius read. "Though it is tempting to want to retreat, if the Marauders would run across the Dark Lord, we shall stand and fight because as you say, lives are at stake. Innocent lives. We have friends that have received the grief news of their entire family murdered. If you were one of those, wouldn't you wish someone was there that helped them fight?"

"True." James agreed.

"I feel the same, Padfoot." Remus replied.

"Best move onto the next question." Peter whispered, finding his hands to be interesting.

"Next question isn't so solemn," Sirius grinned. "Syd would like to know if we ever been to a Hufflepuff party as they are amazing."

"We have and you are right, they are quite smashing." James grinned. "The Hufflepuffs are a jubilant lot. They love to party and have no qualms about who they invite. The more the merrier. They can take a prank fairly well but give it back just as grand. It's hard not to like a Hufflepuff."

"They have their rules though." Sirius added. "Which, even I must admit are fair. The lot are understanding if you slip up. As long as you are sincere with your apologies.

"To continue with the note, Syd says that if James would wear hipster glasses Lily may kiss you." Sirius frowned. "Well we tried that, which the lot of you can read in another page of our lives called, 'Love Advice'. It didn't work. There are many reason and all James' fault."

"Bugger your mother."James frowned.

"That is disgusting, James. In so many ways." Sirius shook his head with shame. "Back to the letter. We did our research on 'hipster glasses'. Like all um…muggle fades, it comes around. These glasses were smart before our time. Not so now."

" I like James' spectacles. I find them to be suiting." Peter studied the spectacles on his friend's face. "The frame is thin wire. Sometimes he has golden frames while other times, he wears silver and at times, the frames are black. The lens is a mix of oblong and square shape."

"The next question from Syd is towards Remus."Sirius smiled. "Syd adores you."

"Awww…Moony is adorable." James cooed. "Look at his witty cheeks blushing. Are you embarrassed? Poor, shy Remy."

"Stop it, twit." Remus punched James' in the arm.

"Ouch." James held up his paper bag, it was sneering at Remus. "You'll pay for that."

"Syd says you should wear a fodora hat, which came with the letter." Sirius held up the hat.

Remus stared at it.

"Well, put it on. Let's see." Sirius pushed the hat against Remus' chest.

"I-I don't know." Remus looked at the hat carefully.

"It didn't come from James or Sirius, so it should be safe." Peter stages whispered.

The paper bag nipped his ear.

"Ouch!" Peter rubbed his ear as he threw dagger looks at the paper bag. Once again, he scooted his chair closer to Remus.

"Right." Remus put the hat on top of his head.

"Not bad. I approve." Sirius nodded.

Peter smiled brightly, "Does look good, Moony."

"I think you look dodgy in a nice way." James added.

"How is that a nice way?" Remus asked.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "James wears flying Quidditch gear pants. Ignore his fashion comments. While I am savvy, pay attention to Mio."

"So you lot know, they are one-hundred per cent cotton." James added. "Since everyone seems to taken an interest in my pants."

"Right. Um…moving on. Syd goes on to say that my Seduction Hour is very disturbing." Sirius grinned with satisfaction. "I like Syd!"

"I'm not sure if that was flattery." Remus told him.

"She is listening, isn't she? If she weren't, she wouldn't know just how disturbing it gets. A fan." Sirius was quite beaming with pride. "I shall owl her a shirt and button."

"Two more letters to go." Remus pointed out. "This is from anonymously."

"I shall give anonymously a name." James stated. "Bermalic shall be your new name."

The group stared.

"Your poor child." Peter whispered.

"I will need to teach my God-son some defending hexes." Sirius added.

"Best to teach him how to run." Remus added.

"What?" James asked. "It has a mental suggestion about it."

"You've gone mental." Sirius said under his breath.

"Well the question is who is our favourite Marauder?" Remus frowned. "Oh, that is hard. I can't say that I can pick one friend over the other."

"Nor I." James stated. "Not only do we each have our own strength and weakness that another seems to cover, we each bring character and personality to being Marauders. If it weren't for Remus practical nature, we would probably be expelled in the first year, never reaching the Marauders' status.

Though Sirius protective nature has gotten into many battles with other students, there is a reassurance that no matter how right or wrong you are he'll be there for you and stand and fight no matter the cost to himself.

Pete, well he is easy going. Flows with the motions of things. He tends to catch the simple things we over look. For that, there are many pranks that might have failed.

And I, well I am just bloody awesome." James grinned, as his paper bag nodded.

"Too right." Sirius agreed. "James is the Marauders' heart. Without him, there would be no us. I probably wouldn't have been sorted with him. Remus would be reclusive and Pete would be just going with the motions of academy life. So we cannot truly pick which Marauder we like the most."

"Group hug?" James asked.

"No." They all said at once.

"Prats." James grumbled.

"Next question from um…" Remus looked over at James.

"Gospox." James stated.

"I thought it was Bermatic." Peter questioned.

"I changed it. That's what happens if you go all anonymously. Now it is Gospox." James stated again.

"Um…Gospox ask what would you do if you have a whole day where you could go anywhere you want and you could do anything you want?" Remus read. "The library to read. Sometimes there is nothing more relaxing. Well, than again I could stay at a certain person's home, sit in front of the fire with a box, her, and some chocolate."

"I'd like to go to one of these Muggles resorts in the tropical islands where the girls wear strings coconuts." Sirius grinned. "Relax with the ocean crashing, the girls dancing. Yeah, that's where I'd go."

"I'd like to go with Sirius." Peter grinned. "It sounds like a nice place to visit."

"Too right."Sirius agreed.

"Give me a bed, don't care where and Lily. It's all I need." James told them.

"You are a bit randy fellow, aren't you?" Peter told him.

"I'm not surprised."Sirius looked at Peter. "He's not getting any action from Miss Perfect."

"Next question from anonymo…er, Gospox is, If Lily and her friends called themselves Marauderettes, would you be angry or happy about using yourselves as inspiration?" Remus read. "I would find it all amusing. Knowing the others as I do, there would be competitions and every time, James would declare himself the better."

"I would be somewhat amused at Lily breaking rules but I would also be a bit cheesed off about their lack of imagination. Least they could do is not copy our name." Sirius actually looked a bit cross on the idea.

"Um..I don't know. I'm not sure if Hogwarts could with stand two groups of pranksters. It would be a prank war, no doubt." Peter thought.

"It would be brilliant. Challenging. Intriguing. There would be a lot more detention given. More time to spend with Lily." James grinned.

"Barbossa'sGirl3, yep a new viewer." Peter looked over at James.

"Greetings Barbossa! Welcome to the Marauders' hour." James greeted.

"Barb says we are doing a great job." Peter reads.

"We need so send her some chocolates." Sirius eyed Remus.

"Give her some of your own chocolates." Remus growled.

"Barb asked what each of us would do if we were to wake up to find that we had a gender switch but the other Marauders hadn't."Peter read.

"Oi, we had a question like this once before but we couldn't get randy with it." Sirius grinned. "I would freak, blame it all on James then,I would spend a very long time alone, in the bathroom getting familiar with the new me. After that, I would visit Madam Pomfrey to get back to my correct male-ish me."

"I' also would go mad, blame it on Potter and Black. Okay, I will admit that I probably would go to the girls' side just to see what it's all about." Remus admitted.

Sirius snapped his fingers,"Oooh, didn't think of that. I'd do that as well."

"And like Sirius, I'd visit Promfrey to fix the problem." Remus added.

"I'd feel myself up. I'd get into my robes and hunt down my Evans. I'd get close enough to Lily's hearing and go about how great I am. I would say stuff about what a great snog I give and how great a Quidditch Chaser I am and how brilliant I am in my studies. How lucky a girl would be to reproduce with me, maybe breed enough kids to make a brilliant Quidditch team. I would keep going so Lily would think that the girl me had a crush on the boy me and maybe she would get jealous of me crushing on me and make a move on me…the male me but first I'd have to get Promfrey to change me back. Before I do that, I would blame the gender switch on Snape so I would retaliate by humiliating him while in female gender. Tell everyone how small his…"

"We get the point." Remus cut him off. "That looks about it. Our poll question was, Do you vote."

The paper bag was in Remus' face. "I do not vote." James made it growl.

Remus ripped the bag off James' hand, crumpled in a ball and threw it in the fireplace. Sirius cast a flame spell. Peter sighed with relief as it burned, his inners were safe.

"I wasn't done with that!" James cried.

"Too bad." Remus snarled.

James crossed his arms and sulked in his chair.

"We had eight people vote." Sirius ignored James' tantrum. "One voted that they voted every time. Three voted that they didn't vote. Four voted that they sometimes would vote."

"You can find our polls on our profile page." Peter explained. "Our next question, inspired by Barb's own, which Marauder would you pick for the gender switch charm?"


	17. Chapter 17

"Today is the thirteenth of January and we've got two hours before Sirius Seduction Hour. What a wonderful evening it is. Perfect Quidditch weather if you ask me." James voiced.

"We aren't." Sirius mumbled. "And it really is not."

James simply glared before turning back to his microphone. "Ignore Sirius. I appointed myself the Quidditch Expert among the four of us thus, I am right."

"I still don't get why we need a Quidditch expert?" Peter flipped through is pages, glancing through the Owl Post. "None of these questions are about Quidditch. I mean, you are the only one who even brings up the topic."

"Quidditch Players around the globe are feeling my pain right this moment." James sighed in disappointment.

"Our current temperature is…let me look." Remus walked over to the window, pushing it open. "Bloody cold is what it is! About one Celsius, maybe three. The sky is clearing up a bit, hard to tell with the moon only about two per cent out. That would be Waxing Crescent, as the New Moon stage has already passed a few nights ago. Weather was just dreadful all yesterday. Our James and others that suffer from Quidditch Syndrome believe any kind of harsh weather is advisable to play a practice round."

"So it is and I am not suffering." James tossed Remus a death glare. "It is encouraged for players to practice in all sort of weather in order for preparation to antagonistic conditions in other areas. Everyone knows this."

"I'd like to remind my fellow Marauders that we have post to read," Peter held up a large amount of letters. "Perhaps you should save the Qudditch information for Broom and Zoom Hour, eh?" Peter looked around at the others for support.

"Pete's right, mate." Sirius quickly agreed. "Don't want to waste all that good stuff on us non-Qudditch players. I got the first letter." Sirius held up his letter for the others to see. "This is from our FamousNoOne. Is that a blush?"

"I don't blush." Remus informed them.

"Is it a rash?" James asked placing a hand on top of Remus' forehead. "Are you catching something? I might want it, got detention in the morn' you know."

"Just read the letter." Remus waved James' hand away.

"Lily might be nice to me if I was suddenly ill." James explained.

"Sure. Her wish would have finally come true." Peter agreed. "You know. The one when she says, 'I wish you would just drop dead.'"

"That isn't a very nice wish." James frowned. "You shouldn't have reminded me about it."

"Sorry. Wasn't thinking." Peter apologized.

"Before you lot forget, I'm going to read this letter." Sirius unfolded the letter. "She's jealous about your female friends, Moony. She believes you have created quite an attractive attention."

"Well once they date Sirius, I seem like the better option." Remus shrugged.

"Too true." Sirius grinned devilishly but it faded quickly as he skimmed the letter. "This isn't good. Not good at all."

"What has happen?" Remus asked with concern.

"Was it her turtle?" Peter asked.

"Was it her broom?" James asked.

"No. Worse." Sirius help up a brown paper back. "She is giving James a brown bag."

"Oh, hey!" James reached over, grabbing the bag out of Sirius hands before his friend could demolish it. James smiled as he looked down at the bag. "Anyone got a quill? Some ink? Finger paint? Mustard?"

Peter mocked a pat down on himself. "Got none of them, Prongs."

"I wouldn't give it to you if I did." Sirius pointed at the bag. "The last one was annoying. FamousNoOne even advice you not to get carried away with it."

"Maybe you should give it to me, just so it stays safe." Remus held out an open hand to collect the bag.

"Oh, look a note." James took a little tag off the bag. "It reads, 'Don't let Remus take it.'"

Remus blinked for a moment, letting the words sink in. "What?"

"I'm not to give it to you." James smiled very smugly. "Got myself a gift from your girl. She must have been feeling a bit jealous."

"There is more in her letter." Sirius addressed the group. "She goes to tell me not to make a list of girls but honestly, it isn't really a list but more of a reminded of reference. If I am crunching for time, I know which girl to snog and which needs a little more time."

"Again, please address all hate mail to Sirius." Peter pointed out.

"Blah." Sirius waved his hand.

"Remember the bunny girl?" James wiggled his eyebrows. "You still have a bruise from that."

"We locked the doors today." Sirius looked over at the door. "I double checked myself. The same thing won't happen tonight. "

"Is that all?" Remus nodded to the letter. "Is there anything else?"

Sirius looked over at the letter. "Sure. Two really good questions. One, what's the worst detention you've ever gotten? And the second one asks, what are the best pranks you've pulled on each other?"

"Impressive." James agreed. "Better than the facebook someone asked. Um, well the worse I should say was cleaning out the Owlery. It was a horrid experience. Couldn't even use magic and let me tell you, those owls do not like it when you throw bread at them. They swoop down and start to flock."

"They don't eat bread, Prongs. They are birds of prey." Remus reminded him.

"I thought the lazier ones might want a snack, honestly." James explained. "Back to detention, imagine hundreds of owls and their droppings and left over meals scattered over the floor and you are the one they must clean it up. With your hands. No magic."

"I prefer that to cleaning out the bed pans…by hand." Sirius wrinkled his nose. "It didn't help that James' kept tossing up his meal into the pans we had to wash."

"Couldn't help it, mate." James told him. "The smell and that squishy feeling and… ugh, memories." James abruptly bounced out of his chair towards the window to heave his stomach's particulars to the ground below.

"Weaklin'!" Sirius shouted after him.

"Peter and I had experienced the Owlery but not the bed pans." Remus explained.

"I think the best prank done on James was by Wormtail." Sirius smiled at the reminiscence fondly. "It was the end of our third year and without involving anyone else, Peter pranked James."

"That was pretty good." Peter nodded his head with self-praise.

"Yes. Well let's mov…" James settled down back in his chair, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

"No, Prongs. Our listeners want to hear this." Remus grinned. "Peter planned this prank a month before performing it. Kept it a bleeding secret, he did. Said he was studying for next year."

"If he hadn't done so poorly in his test results, we would have not believed him. As it was, we thought his mark put fear into him that encouraged him to want a jump start on things." Sirius shook his head but held a smile. "Instead the buggar was learning, unknowing to Evans, how to write exactly like Lily. He would practice every evening and when he got it right, he left little notes for James."

"The first letter said, 'Meet me in the common room at noon.' When James got there, another letter for another destination. James went all over the castle picking up letters left by Peter but thinking they were Evans. He was very excited and loving the game in thinking that at the end, there would be Miss Evans."

"Last letter said, 'Meet me in THE broom closet.' So James pretty much jumped into the favorite snogging closet and there was Snape, thinking he was getting the same prize. A kiss from Lily." Sirius sniggered.

"Terribly funny." James rolled his eyes but was grinning. "It was a swell job, even I must admit that but opening a door that leads to Snape, not so good."

"Prongs caused Sirius' body to swell up with water and turned him blue." Remus recalled.

"Oi. Not fun at all. Every time I walked, I heard water squishing around inside of my gut. What was worse, I had to get rid of the water naturally." Sirius smirked. "Could barely hold it before I got to the bathroom and this twat," Sirius punched James' in the arm. "He kept doing stuff that caused me to laugh and to make me wet my trousers."

"The prank we all did on Remus was to make him appear invisible." James sighed. "It backfired but not at first."

"Not at first." Sirius agreed. "It was a camouflage spell that would cause his robes and body to blend in with all his surroundings. Though he was there and you could almost see him if you knew to look for him, it appeared as he was invisible."

"Early morning, we ignored him. He thought we were made at him. Then we went to the common room and someone tried to sit on the chair he was sitting on." James laughed. " Someone took the book he was reading and yeah, he started to get a bit annoyed. He spent most of the second half of the morning dodging people so they couldn't run into him. Scaring most first and second years, they had no idea where the voice was coming from."

"And then he used it to his advantage. He spent the rest of the day hiding from us. I'm sure he was in the library somewhere." Sirius stretched out his legs as he looked over at Remus to confirm his suspicion.

"Aye. I did. Best study day I ever had. I completed two weeks of homework in advance. No interruption from this lot." Remus gave them a smug look. "I really need to find that spell, James."

"As for Peter." James looked over at the other boy. "Well that was rather easy. We had found out how muggles captured mice. It's a medieval looking trapment. I would never use one myself but for the prank, it worked."

"They put hundreds of these mice traps, set and ready to go, all over the floor. When I work up, I was trapped in my bed. There wasn't anywhere to walk without stepping on this nasty things. I hurt my toes a few times." Peter glared at them.

"You could had just thrown your blanket on top of them." Remus explained.

Peter stared at him calmly. "Moony. It was morning. Early. Probably like tenish. No one thinks rationally when they just get up and in need of the loo."

"True." Remus agreed.

"Our next question is from our friend, Syd. I like Syd. I visited Syd's profile page. Ever met a disturbed person? That would be Syd and the army of snails." James pushed up his spectacles. "Syd has a bit of a problem with the family dog. Perhaps, Sirius would best qualify to answer this question. See, Syd believes the dog has turned evil and wishes to take over the world. Syd would like to know if there is a way to safety encourages the dog from doing so?"

"Have her watch the local news. After that, no one would want to take credit in ruling this planet." Sirius stated. "Seriously though, would it be that bad? What does a dog do all day? Play ball?"

"I like that." James said.

"Eat?" Sirius added.

"I can do that." Peter nodded in approval.

"Sleep?" Sirius pointed out.

"Love sleeping." Remus agreed.

"Find a playmate? Been there, love it." Sirius stated. "Your dog should rule the world. Don't discourage her dream. Support your dog. Come up with a nice slogan like P.A.W, Paddedfeet Are Wonderful."

"That was horrible." James wrinkled his nose. "Dreadful."

"Serenity has written to inform us that we had use 'naturally' too much in the previous broadcast." Remus bit his lower lip. "Sorry about that. I believe we used it four times and not more than twenty words apart. Today we decided we would not use that word at all, except in that letter."

"Naturally, Remus decided that." James grinned at Remus' frown.

"Naturally, James ruined it." Sirius elbowed James' in the ribs.

"Serenity, as always, has a great question." Remus told the Marauders. "She would like to know our opinion on Global Warming."

"As you had heard earlier, it is one Celsius. Not exactly warm weather." Peter pointed to the window.

"The thing about Global Warming, well that depends on what theory a person may believe in." Remus explained. "Does pollution create Global Warming…it doesn't help it but I don't believe it causes it."

"I believe our planet was at one point, a tropical planet. Something caused it off balance and an ice age accrued. When you say 'Ice Age' most people think the whole planet was covered in ice. Nope. Most areas perhaps, but not all land was covered in ice. With that, the planet started to heal. The ice started to melt and currently, we are still in that ice age. The planet is still melting the ice in the pole regions of the world that was left behind from the ice age. The planet is slowly becoming what it once was. If you live in an area where snow is common during the colder months, you notice that less snow the faster it melts. The ice in the pole regions are melting faster because there is less of it. A lot of the extreme weather we read about in papers can be a bit disturbing but at the same time our recorded keeping and communication is more advice than it once was so the word gets about faster. Everything is as it should be." Sirius explained.

"This is something we have discussed before, we all agree with what Sirius stated." Remus stated. "Our friend and longtime listener Randomfandom."

"The bunny girl!" James announced.

"Yes, well she has sent us a letter. By the way, Random does not believe in animal cruelty or testing." Remus eyed Sirius.

"I'm not saying a word." Sirius rubbed his head.

"James purchased a fake stuff rabbit the other day and gave it to Sirius." Peter grinned.

"Wasn't funny." Sirius glared at James.

"James charmed the bunny to go after Sirius with a stick that looked like a wand." Peter said.

"Wasn't funny." Sirius said again.

"Awww…is paddy 'fraid of a bunny?" James cooed.

"Twit." Sirius once again gave James' a punch in the arm.

"Mind you, that's my throwing arm." James rubbed his arm.

"Getting back to the letters." Remus held the parchment up for them to see. "Random goes to say, to James, that there are other red headed girls not just Lily."

"Name them." James dared them.

"Rachel in Ravens." Peter said quickly.

"Becky in Ravens." Sirius also stated.

"Mary in Slytherin, Charlotte in Gryffindor. Jade in Gryffindor. Autumn in Hufflepuff." Remus added to the list.

"Heather in Gryffindor. Stacey in Hufflepuff. Kayley is a Huffle as well. Allisia in Slytherins." Sirius added more.

"And Lily Evans. I'm not familiar with those other girls." James waved his hand in dismissal.

"Random does say she is sorry about the keyboard, Sirius." Remus read.

"S'okay. I know you birds get sentimental over things like that." Sirius brushed it off.

"Random's question is, if someone was stalking you all day what would you do?" Remus finished. "Well Lily just hexes James."

"She's only done that twelve times." James told them.

Peter snorted. "This year and its day thirteen."

"Bugger off." James pushed him off the chair. "The boy is getting a bit cheeky."

"He's a couple months older than you, Prongs." Remus helped Peter to his chair. "We all are. I think I would confront the person, find out why they are following me about."

"I'd do an Evans. Hex the bleeding liver out of the bloke. If it is a girl, I think I'll lead her astray." Sirius answered.

"I think I'd just ignore the person for a while." Peter said. "And then, probably just tell one of you."

James shrugged. "Just another person to view my awesomeness."

"So what you are saying is that you would show off? Even more so?" Remus asked.

"Harhar." James mocked. "Slugston would like to know if Lily did not…well I cannot even say it. Let me rephrase it. If Lily and I had never met, who would I fancy? Juliette of the Holyhead Harpies. That girl is one lovely catcher."

"She's the one with hair so long it covers her arse?" Sirius asked.

"That would be her." James agreed.

"So…it's about red heads?" Peter asked. "A red head fetish?"

"No. It's about Evans." James told him. "Sirius!"

"James!" Sirius called back.

"Slugston would like to know what is your opinion on cheese." James grinned as he looked over at his friend.

"My opinion on cheese?" Sirius lifted his eyebrows.

"Right. Your very own thoughts about cheese." James repeated.

"Cheese, huh. Well …wow, cheese. Very random. Hmmm." Sirius looked around at his friends' smiling faces. "Sorry, it isn't every day someone ask what I think of cheese. Let me think. I admit I don't know much about cheeses' process. I think it has something to do with rotting that produces a complex mixture of bacterial waste product as so like the Sour Cream question James answered last week. The bacterial eats the good stuff and we are left eating bacterial waste. What is more remarkable is how the human minds is cable of putting the disgusting process of cheese aside and eat cheese."

Peter shrugged. "I am continuing to eat cheese."

"Pete doesn't mind eating bacterial waste." James informed Sirius. "Wormtail, Slugston would like to know your cheesiest knock-knock joke."

"Oh, I got a ton of them." Peter rubbed his hands together in excitement. "Where to begin! Oh I got a great one!"

"Let's hear it then." Sirius said.

"Okay but I need you to start." Peter told him with a grin.

"Me? Okay. Knock-Knock." Sirius played along.

"Who's there?" Peter asked.

Sirius stared at him for a moment, waiting.

Peter waited for Sirius to continue.

"I don't know, Pete." Sirius admitted.

"I don't know Pete Who?" Peter asked.

Sirius glared at the other boy.

"That was great, Pete. Well as great as a knock-knock joke can get." Remus patted Peter on the back.

"The next question is for Remus. Slugston would like to know your current dating status. Single or not Single? Available or no?" James asked.

"Dating." Remus replied. "I'm dating one person at a time. Not like Sirius."

"I'm just working at a faster pace." Sirius shrugged.

"De Trapped would like to know the weirdest thing we ever eaten." James grinned. "Like, on our own or by a prank?"

"I had eaten ants once." James confessed. "When I was young, my parents were stressing to a friend of the family with an idea that I might be too energetic than a normal child."

"Your parents were on the right idea." Remus told him.

James stuck his tongue out before continuing. "The friend recommended them taking away my sweet drinks. One night, I decided to sneak a drink to bed with me. I went to sleep and awoke sometime during the night and I was thirsty but I had my sweet drink sitting there for me and I thanked myself and marvel at my cleverness. "

"For some reason, I really believe you did thank yourself." Peter added.

"Please. I am telling a story." James pointed out. "Where was I?"

"The drink." Remus told him. "Late at night."

"Aye. It was late. I took a big gulp, finishing half the drink. I still had a mouthful when I put the cup down and that was when I noticed things were crawling inside my mouth. Seemingly, ants are fond of sweet stuff as well." James told him. "I probably swallowed a few hundred without noticing."

"Ewww…no wonder Evans doesn't want to kiss you." Peter told him.

"She didn't know." James shrugged. "I've brushed since, Pete."

"That is a bit gross." Remus wrinkled his nose.

"Since you swallowed them, I guess you didn't get a taste of them, eh?" Sirius asked.

"Nope. I have no idea what they tasted like but I can tell you this. A mouthful of rice feels just like a mouthful of ants." James told them. "When I went screaming to Mum, she rushed me for medical treatment but she was told I'd be fine and they were wrong."

"What happen?" Peter eyes grew large.

"Nothing. I was awesome, is all." James gave Peter a cheesy grin.

"I haven't eaten anything I can call weird. Well, 'cept dog biscuits that James gave me. He told me they were cookies." Sirius pointed out.

Peter scrunched up his face. "That soup Hagrid made was a bit off."

James smacked Peter on the arm. "We agreed we would never, ever talk about that… ever."

"I know b-but I just feel like I should let it out instead of letting it bottle inside of me." Peter whispered. "The smell and well, it looked thick and pus…"

The boys were silent as James heaved the remainder of his stomach out the window.

After a moment of awkward silence, Remus picked up the stack of paper. "Best we put that aside. We got a letter from Elizabeth. She would like to know if we would move to America, which state would we choice to live in."

"Augh! Isn't there like fifty states?" Peter asked. "I don't know."

"I know um…four or five. I think they stole fifteen colonies from us." James said.

"I think it was thirteen they took as their own." Sirius argued.

"I don't remember my lesson. Something about throwing our good tea into the ocean because they didn't like taxes." James grinned. "I believe they are still paying taxes. Waste of good tea, that was."

"There is New York." Remus pointed out.

"Aye and California where the actors live." Sirius added.

"Florida where Mickey Mouse lives." James said.

"Hawaii, that's drifting island of volcanoes." Peter told them.

"There is Alaska. New Orleans. That place where country singers live. The crappy vampire state. And that park where the stones are yellow. Oh, the deseret of salt, they have that in America too." James pointed out. "So where would I go? Hmm…I haven't a clue."

" New York seems awful exciting. Perhaps there." Sirius answered.

"I'd like to live near a Hollywood Star." Peter told them. "Maybe I'd end up in a film."

"Hawaii." Remus answered. "Those volcanoes might have some dragons and that would be interesting to study. Yet Alaska probably would be a better option for me. More wilderness."

"I just don't know. Elizabeth, why don't you recommend me a state, eh?" James asked. "I like England's weather, always something interesting. Us Brits enjoy four seasons here in England and I love them all. I enjoy the ocean but I like space as well, for Quidditch purpose. I also like people but I like to get away from them from time to time. I find autumn to be quite fascinating."

"Maybe Elizabeth can owl you her reapply? We honestly do not know too much about America, as you can tell." Remus said. "Though, I suppose we could do research but that would make us come across more clever than what we are and what fun is that? Elizabeth also would like to know which musical instrument we'd like to play."

"Piano!" James answered quickly. "Every girl likes a man that can play a piano and Evans is a girl that I feel would admire that type of talent."

"I'd like to beat the drums." Sirius answered. "Play bass maybe."

"I with James on the piano but not for the same reason." Remus said. "I think a piano is a remarkable instrument that has the power to create different emotions like no other."

"I'd like to play the guitar." Peter said. "I see all those people sitting around a fire and someone is always playing a guitar. Birds like that."

"It's the music they enjoy." Sirius told him.

"We have an Anonymous reviewer." Peter smiled at James, holding up the letter and waving it in the air.

James took the letter from him. "Aye and for that we get to give you a name. From here on your new name is Ekerlaine."

"You just throw letters around, don't you?" Remus asked.

"I'm not giving away my secrets." James told him. "Ekerlaine would like to know what is the type of food for swimming. Ekerlaine has given a few examples such as milk and jello. Water is eliminated from the answer."

"Chocolate!" Peter hurried to answer.

Remus shook his head. "It's a great answer Pete but chocolate would make the swimmer become stiff and have difficult in swimming. I would suggest it though it would be nice."

"I suppose any fluid items such as tea and coco would be just as easy as milk." James said. "But we need to have a bit of creativity with this question."

"Melted butter might not be so bad. Though, it would be awful heavy." Sirius thought out loud.

"Mac and Cheese might work." Remus told them. "The cheese is runny enough to swim through and one could float on the noodles."

"Cold coco wouldn't be that bad either, James. Those with marshmallows and the chocolate wouldn't be stiff." Sirius said.

"I'd say any stew." James gave his answer. "There is a lot of stuff in a pot of stew to play around with. Toss a carrot or two around. Hide behind the potatoes. Great games could be played there. Perhaps we should flood one of the Hogwarts floors into a vast pot of stew?"

"No," Remus quickly shook his head. "We are not even going to discuss it."

"Um…well maybe grapes wouldn't be that bad either." Peter answered.

"Idonotget would like to know if Gryffindor was not an option, which house we would be sorted into." Peter read. "Oh no doubt, I'd be a Hufflepuff."

"I probably make my parents proud and fall into the Slytherins where I'd up giving myself some kind of death potion to cure my misery." Sirius sighed sadly with thought.

James frowned. "Haven't any idea. The Hufflepuffs are a right fun lot. However, it would be highly amusing to cause disturbance with the Raven Claws. Imagine their faces if I lost points in that house! Those would be my only two options. I am proud to say, I am not Slytherin material."

"Next question is from MoonLight Shadow." Sirius read.

"Hello new viewer! Welcome to our show. Very interesting name you have there." James greeted the viewer. "A bit poetic….I wonder if I should fit it in a poem for Evans."

"Shadow is enjoying our show." Sirius told everyone. "We really need to send her a gift package. She also agrees with James about the slug thing."

"See!" James pointed to the parchment. "I'm not the only one who is aware of the evil that is slugs. Shadow is very likable. We could empty our pockets and whatever we got, send back to her?" James dug into his trousers. "I got a small flask of Fire whiskey, a beaker with a potion that would make you glow bright blue in the dark, shoe lace, a key, and mints, a few coins."

"I got lint." Remus admitted.

Sirius emptied his pockets. "Dice. Set of keys. Flask of Fire whiskey. Troll Odor Spray, that's for a prank but you are welcome to have it, I got more. Mints. Dung Bomb. Box of Muggle fire cracker snaps."

"I got um…" Peter dug in his pockets. "Some magical beans! James gave them to me as a trade for a Quidditch Card. I don't grow things very well but you are welcome to have them. Suppose to grow your own luck with them. They expired but might still work."

"So there you have it. A wonderful gift package coming your way. Enjoy!" James grinned, placing the stuff in a pile.

"That's quite a mess." Remus looked at the pile James made. "Um, well the question Shadow has is, which potion we like the best."

"Any that explodes in Snapes' face is fine with me." James grinned.

"Antidote potions are always the best to learn. I highly recommend all witches and wizards to learn this." Remus remarked. "James loves the Peppermint Potion, which helps with colds. He always is very good at the Drought of Peace and fed it to most of the Slytherins at once. I on the other hand find Murtlap Essence to be a very good potion to know for any injuries."

"Invigoration Draught and Instant Darkness Powder for me." Sirius put in. "No one can make things more darker than a Black."

"Garrotting Gas is funny." Peter snickered. "James and Sirius pulled that one off!"

"The potion we dislike the most…" Remus looked at the others with a rueful grin.

"The Love Potion!" They said in union.

"Gotten us in more trouble than we got ourselves into." James growled. "And we are at the receiving end of that potion, mind you. Funny how if a guy gives it to a girl it's wrong. If a girl gives it to a guy, it's considered amusing."

"Shadow also ask what do we think of the name 'Harry'." Remus read. "She would like Lily's reply which I had asked her before the Broadcasting so James couldn't chase her away."

"I wouldn't have." James sulked.

"Hmm…Well there were a few Muggle Kings named Harry. Had greatness about them." Sirius told them, as he was the muggle expert. "It's a common name, isn't?"

"Elvendork is better." James told them.

"Lily had told me that she had a great-uncle, who was a muggle and thus served in the Royal Air Force. He was a dear, admirable man and loved my many. He would go out of his way to make people laugh. Telling them, never regret laughing even in times of darkness. On hearing the name Harry, she often thinks of this uncle and she remembers to smile and to laugh." Remus told the group.

"Harry is a bloody awesome name." James changed his answer. "Perhaps when Lily and I have our first child, we shall name the girl or boy after Lily's uncle, Harry."

"You could call a girl Harriet." Peter pointed out.

"Our last question is from our wonderful reviewer, Barbossa'sGirl3." Sirius reads. "She would like to request that James stop picking on the blundering twit we call Snape. Well, she didn't say it how I said it but she should had."

"That's not going to happen in my life time, Barb." James ran his hands through his hair. "The greasy twat has an arse for a soul."

"Bard goes on to say how very cute I am…well, Remus as well but I am sure she means I am smothered with cutiness." Sirius read.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"She would like to know, between Remus and myself, which is the better dancer." Sirius smiled cheekily at Remus. "Remus cannot dance sober. He is too aware of his surrounds and too self-cautious, therefor I am. However, after a few shots of whiskey Remus is really quite astonishing."

"Aw, Moony is blushing again." James cooed.

"Shut-up." Remus turned his back towards James.

"Pete. Wormtail. Mate." Sirius put an arm around Peter's neck. "Barb passed along some good advice for you."

"Is it to use to get girls?" Peter ask.

"Nope. She tells you that you got some great friends and that you should stick with them." Sirius scuffed the top of Peter's hair. "But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Sure did." Peter smiled at his dearest, loyal friends.

"That is the end of our broadcast post. Before we go, the poll." James grabbed the results. "The question was, if a gender switch charm was placed on one of the Marauders, which one would you think it should be placed on? It went on to give our names." James explained. "We had nine voters for this. One voted for Peter."

"Thank you." Peter smiled. "I am relieved that this prank would not be placed on me. I am also relieved that I would not make a very good girl."

"Wouldn't make a naught one either, eh?" James winked at him. "Two voted for me. Obviously I am very masculine. Three voted that Sirius would do good with a gender switch."

"I resent that." Sirius smiled however.

"Three also voted that Remus would make do on a gender switch." James shook his head. "That would be just dreadful on the Furry Little Problem days."

"Funny." Remus rolled his eyes.

"Next Poll, who would you like to see stuck in a Hogwarts Female Uniform for a day?" Sirius said. "Please vote by way of the profile."

"And before we go, we would like our viewer aware of a dreadful situation." James took on a sad appearance. "Technically with us, you too are breaking rules. See we are not allowed to interact with any of our viewers and there may be a time when this broadcast would be shut down because of it. Most likely, it will be reloaded.

There are a few groups who have taken it upon themselves to bully authors with flaming style, authors who this group deems 'rule breakers', as little as it is, and forcing them to abandon their story or to be reported. The Marauders don't mind if we are reported. Some rules, when not harming a person, should always be broken to expand life experience. Yet, it is how this group goes about doing so. They call attention, they seek attention, the drama, the harassment the embarrassment of the author and they feed on that as if it were some type of entertainment. I believe some of these group members had good intention at the start of their idea however, as all that believe they have some type of power over others, their work has twisted. They have become exactly what they were fighting against. As I said, I just wanted to bring it to your attention."

"Till next broadcasting," Sirius called. "Cheers and all that!"


	18. Chapter 18

Remus sighed loudly as Peter once again asked the same question, 'You know where they are?' Peter no doubt had asked himself the very question when he woke from his nap and finding himself alone. The room was empty. No Remus. No Sirius. No James. Where were they?

It was a frightful experience for Pete as he always knew where, at the very least, one of the Marauders was and what they were up too. It was important to either stay out of that area for hexing purposes or if he ran into someone that wasn't the friendly sort. With the Marauders watching his back, no one would mess with Peter. However when found alone, he was the weakest link…a cornered rat.

The first thing he did was look for the map. It wasn't in their apartment but that was not a surprise as James usually has it on his person. Peter then looked out the window, hoping to view James flying in and out of the clouds. No such luck.

After checking out all the broom closets (and being hexed for the interruptions) he gave up his efforts in locating Sirius.

That left one Marauder. Remus. Who could be found easily as usual, he was found in the library. Peter was very relieved on finding Remus and told him so, several times. Their conversation went something like:

"Alright, Mooney? Glad to see you." Peter tried to amble towards Remus' study desk in a James like fashion but instead his elbow stuck out a bit too much and he knocked over a first year's books from the table and onto the floor. "Sorry 'bout that." Peter turned around, bending down in order to pick up the books; this act caused his butt to face Abigail Jonas.

Of all the bums Abigail didn't mind looking at, Peter's own wasn't one of them. She told him this in a way that caused Peter's face to grow red and snickers rose from fellow students in hearing distance.

Remus glared at the students around him until the snickers died down. Peter, more carefully, made his way to Remus.

"Blimey! It was just an accident." Peter explained. "Glad to find you."

Remus nodded his head, this he knew as he watched it all.

"Have you seen James? Or Sirius? They weren't there when I woke up." Peter explained.

"Didn't know they were to watch over you," Remus replied.

Peter merely shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Well, it's good to at least find you. Whatcha doing in here anyways?"

Remus looked down at the open books, the parchment, the quill, the ink and back at Peter. "Is it not obvious? I am studying Peter."

"Oh." Peter nodded his head in understanding. He watched as Remus began to scribble another word down. "What are you studying' about?"

"The history of potions, Peter." Remus explained.

"Oh. Why?" Peter asked.

"Because it's due in four days." Remus eyed him.

"Oh. Yeah. Hey, I nearly forgot!" Peter smacked his own forehead, which what Remus secretly wanted to do during these moments.

"I think you did." Remus closed his books and stood up. "It's near Broadcasting Hours. I suggest we go into our designated room and I am sure that is where James and Sirius will be found."

So at this point, here they were about to open the door that will allow them into an empty room which they would be hosting Broadcasting Live at Hogwarts.

As Remus predicted, Sirius and James were sitting quietly behind an oblong table. They were sitting close to each other, each holding a magazine in their hands. If one would make a comment, the other would leaned even closer to peer at the magazine.

"Merlin! I've been searching all over Hogwarts for you!" Peter grinned with relief.

"Not all of Hogwarts, I'd say." Sirius smirked. "Prongs and I have been here for quite some time now."

"Behind closed doors. Quiet." Remus tapped his chin as he eyed his two friends. "You two are up to something."

"Us?" James hazel eyes grew with mock of innocence. The mockery was due to the slight gleam in his eyes that he could never hide. A sparkle of mischief. "Up to something? Why we are just researching."

Remus picked at the magazines, reading off the titles, "What is your skin tone? The hairstyles of today's ladies. When rouge is too much? How to show your best asset without showing too much!" Remus scattered the magazines bout in order to examine more titles. "What exactly are you researching?"

"Yeah." Peter threw a scornful look at Sirius. "What are you researching?"

"We are researching," Sirius explained as he held up a magazine. "For a prank. One of our greatest pranks."

"I don't want to know." Remus held up his hand for them to stop explaining. "We need to work on our Broadcast show. We have several questions tonight, really good questions that require thought."

"You sure you don't want to know?" James asked.

"Yes. I think it would be best if we start the show," Remus confirmed.

"It's going to be a great prank." Sirius told him.

"My answer is still, No." Remus shook his head.

"It will be in the top of our ranks," James pressured.

"I do not think so," Remus told him.

"Fellow students will be applauding us loudly." Sirius said.

"Still I decline and rather continue not knowing." Remus again shook his head. "Best let it go."

"This is a genius prank that we can boast about quite proudly." James grinned.

"Why do you guys rhyme?" Peter asked.

"We were caught in the conversation's flow." Sirius explained.

"Marauders, it is broadcasting time." Remus reminded them.

"Aye, we better get on with the show." Sirius agreed.

"That is a very Un-Marauder attitude you have Remus." James said crossly. "The Marauders do not back down on pranks UNLESS it involves me declaring my love to someone other than Evans as that would set me back years of work OR involves purposely losing a Quidditch Match."

"I thought Remus worked slowly when dealing with relationships," Sirius teased. "You haven't made any process in the years you've been trying, Prongs. That's what? Slug pace?"

James blinked.

Sirius shrugged.

James gathered his 'share' of the magazine and moved towards the opposite side of the table.

"What? You're goin' to be a blubbering babe now?" Sirius said heatedly. "It was a joke."

James dropped his magazines noisily on the table and pulled his chair out noisily and once sitting, noisily pulled it in.

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the magazine he was researching.

"Fighting now?" Remus asked looking over at Sirius, who ignored him and back over at James, who also ignored the question.

"No," Sirius pointed over to James. "He's throwing a tantrum and I am ignoring him. That isn't fighting."

Peter practically skipped over to the empty chair next to James. "I don't believe it. Not for even a minute! I don't think you are anything like a slug, Prongs."

Sirius once again rolled his eyes, "Pathetic."

"We still have a Broadcast to do." Remus quickly occupied the remaining vacant seat. "Our first letter is from Syd, who's dog attacks little children."

"There are a few first years I wouldn't mind attacking." Sirius mumbled under his breath.

"Isn't hexing them enough?" James asked.

"Back to our friend, Syd isn't sure that her dog would be suited to rule the world." Remus read.

"Bleeding shame." Sirius frowned.

"Perhaps her dog is irregular?" Peter tried to help.

"Or maybe it's just a mean mutt." James glared at Sirius. "With a black heart."

"I get the sublime indications, Prongs." Sirius growled. "I'm going to ignore them when I should really put slugs in your meal."

"So back to Syd. This question is if we had to pick between immortality but without our friends or wanting our friends to have immortality without you, which would it be?" Remus asked.

"Simple. I'd rather see my friends continue with life as long as they promise to laugh at other people, at themselves, at each other or just for the sake of laughing." James answered.

"Well it would be nice to live forever but…I don't know. I guess there is that price to pay, having all your friends die and you're all alone." Peter shrugged. "I don't know. I mean if James doesn't want to live forever but I do, what is wrong with picking me?"

"So you wouldn't mind watching us all die off as long as you live?" Sirius asked.

"That's not what I am saying at all," Peter shook his head. "If three of us were granted but one wish, a wish that only one of us could have immortality, who would get it? If James says he doesn't want it, what would you say?"

"I wouldn't want it either." Sirius answered.

"And you Remus?" Peter asked.

Remus shrugged, thinking on the question. "I can't really imagine a world without any of you in it."

"So you would pass the wish on?" Peter asked.

"I guess so," Remus nodded his head.

"Then, why cannot I take the wish? If no one wants it, why can't I have it?" Peter asked.

"That's not the point. The point comes down to would you WANT to live without your friends or would you want your friends to live without you." Sirius explained.

"No," Peter shook his head. "It's a question about living forever. Think of the greatness a person could achieve. The knowledge."

"We already have someone seeking immortality and it is causing a bloody war." James glowered.

"James is right." Sirius frowned at Peter. "Even if there wasn't a barmier twit out there looking to escape death, would you really want to live without any of us if given the choice?"

"If I could be of some use," Peter shrugged. "Wouldn't that be the price I'd have to pay?"

Remus cleared his throat. "Syd has another question. Syd would like to know if we had to have a familiar for protection, which animal would you pick."

"What? Like a patronus?" James asked. "Mine is a stag."

"Oi, I've heard of familiars in stories," Sirius quipped. "A familiar is a spirit that takes shape of a living creature. When in trouble, it knows it and does everything in its might to protect you. When having difficulty, they try to nudge you in the right direction."

"Ah. So Mrs Norris would be something like Filch's familiar?" James asked.

Remus gave a half shrug. "Could be. Though I believe familiars are more so attached to magical sorts. Yet, again Filch resides in a magical world."

"Well….couldn't Sirius be my familiar?" James questioned. "Or does it have to be this type of creature?"

"Sirius isn't a familiar, sorry Prongs. Neither am I nor is Peter." Remus answered.

"I think I would look good with a raven." Sirius said after a moment of thinking.

"A bird?" James grinned. "Oi, I get it."

"Wow, I wasn't even trying to be clever about it." Sirius looked over at James. "I'm more talented than I thought. I was just going with something that didn't clash with my persona."

"This is a bit of a difficult question, isn't it?" James absently flipped through his magazine. "I would want a creature that can keep up with me. My familiar would be something that isn't afraid of heights either and can catch a ball or hold a bat at the very least. Perhaps a small monkey."

"Oddly, I think that is a very good choice." Sirius commended.

"I'd like a panther. Rowrl…" Peter growled and made his fingers claw-like. "No one would mess with me. Rowrl…"

"I'm fine with an owl or a cat," Remus answered. "I think those creatures have lived with witches and wizards since the existence and for that, I believe it's natural for them to co-exist."

"Our next question is from our friend, Barb." Peter read. "Barb goes to say that she views Snape in a different light then our own opinion and that's okay because everyone is entitled to their own opinion."

"And she is right." Remus agreed.

James however was shaking his head, "But my views are right where hers is not."

"Everyone to their own, Prongs. Drop it." Remus warned. "Proceed, Peter."

"Barb would like us to guess which house she belongs too." Peter smirked. "There are four houses and four of us. One of us is bond to get it right if we each guess differently."

"Very good, Wormtail." Sirius smiled broadly. "But we aren't playing it that way. No need to cheat, is there?"

"Ravenclaw." James marked. "She has an air of hard-headiness about her."

"You are only saying that because she doesn't share your views about Snape." Remus put in. "I believe she is a HufflePuff. She seems easy going and she is willing to give Snape the benefit of doubt."

"Nah, she's grasping the doubt there." Sirius smirked. "I'm going with Slytherin. Only a snake can like a snake."

"Peter?" James asked the other boy.

"Oh um…well I suppose since I have to give reason I will go with Raven because of what James said," Peter answered.

"You always go with what Prongs says. Do you even think for yourself?" Sirius asked.

"I do not." Peter frowned. "Moving on with Barb's letter she ask that since Remus is taken if Sirius would be available."

"I am taken as well." James reminded everyone.

Peter looked at the letter. "Yes but she isn't asking about you."

"Because it's a well-known fact." James added.

"If anyone would ask Lily, she would say that you were quite free." Remus laughed.

"The question is about me, if you don't mind," Sirius reminded his friends. "I am free."

"You should have a warning label," James quickly added. "Associate with caution. Do not snog with alcohol. Can lead to serious broken heart."

"Quite the funny-man, are you?" Sirius threw a magazine at James, who was able to dodge it with his great skills.

"Barb isn't done with us yet," Peter told the Marauders. "She would like to know which song, as an individual, best fit us."

James puffed out his cheeks. "I'm not sure. I love music. After quidditch, it's the best invention that ever came about. People have so many emotions and I feel one song cannot solely describe a person. There are too many character flaws, too many sensitivity and a whole lot of mystery. There is a song out there that can tell what you've been through, how you are feeling currently or in the past where you can relate but to pick one that sums you up, I'm not sure if I am able to do so."

"You haven't the slightest idea, have you?" Sirius asked.

"None." James agreed.

"I've got one for Remus." Peter stated. "'The Animal I Have Become', Three Days Grace is an obvious one. I suppose in a way, it could refer to all of us."

"'Twinkle Little Star' is probably a good song for Sirius." Remus joked.

"Watch it, Moony." Sirius gave a warning but the smile ruined any threat behind it. "There isn't anything little about this star. I'm the biggest and the brightest."

"Well, on the contrary the actual largest star is…" Remus started but James slammed his hand over Remus' mouth.

"Don't care!" James shouted. "You always do that."

"What?" Remus asked after he pushed James' hand away. "What do I always do?"

"Turn a joke into an educational fact," James clarified. "It ruins the humour, mate."

"In all seriousness I think 'Numb' by Linkin' Park is my song." Sirius finally settled on a song. "I get that song. It's my life being sang in those lyrics."

"Ah, well for me I think SixxAM, 'This is going to hurt' is the song I can relate too." Peter told them.

"It looks like you are going have to come up with something." Sirius looked over at James. "Rudolph the Red Nose maybe?"

James twitched his nose, "That would look quite horrid. If I must….well 'It's My Life' by Bon Jovi sums me up."

"FamousNoOne has sent us a post," James told them. "No question but hey, sometimes regular feedback is just as swell. She says that Remus would be interesting in a dress."

"Kinky. I'm impressed," Sirius grinned wickedly.

"However Sirius being knock a down would be far more interesting," James added.

"I resent that!" Sirius barked.

"I care not," James grinned smugly. "Here is another letter from our Moon Shadow. She sends her thanks for receiving our package. That's quite nice of her. I hope she isn't after more as I haven't got a thing in my pockets."

"I haven't got a thing in my trousers either," Peter agreed.

James blinked at him.

"What?" Peter asked.

"I can't do it," James turned back to the letter. "It's far too easy. Well the message says, she hasn't got a lot of parchment. Shame. The assignments they throw at us already over-worked students. Now parchment is going existent because of it!"

"Does that mean no more lessons?" Peter asked eagerly.

"Fraid not." James broke the news to him. "Peter have you ever eaten a crayon?"

"Me? Why do I have something between my teeth?" Peter hastily rubbed the front of his teeth with his sleeve.

"No, not at all. It is a question Shadow wishes you to answer." James explained.

"Oi. Well, I can't say I have eaten a crayon of any colour, though I have licked water colours of all colour." Peter admitted. "But I was very young, you see and I liked how it changed the colour of my tongue."

"I think I read that somewhere that smelling too much paint may slow your mind, just so you know mate. Wouldn't be licking it again if I were you. Padfoot, your question. Which type of lady do you prefer? Blondes? Reds? Brunettes? Raven? Or Bold vibrant colours? But," James raised an eyebrow. "You cannot say all."

"That is a tough question. I can't say that I do have a preference," Sirius pulled a few faces trying to think of the answer. Finally, after a few minutes he had his answer. "Brunettes and the reason is because their hair shade isn't one colour. The sun loves brunettes, always changing the depth of their hair colour. Red streaks, blonde streaks, golden streaks, the sun paints highlights on each one. A girl I once seen for a spell had chestnut colour. Brown in the evening and red in the morning. Beautiful and their skin tones are always changing as well. Golden brown, softest ivory, lightest pink. Yea, I think if I absolutely had to choose it would be a brunette."

"Remus, Shadow would like you to tell us what your most interesting dream that involved chocolate." James read.

"My Father purchased me a muggle novel that I read repeatedly for a while. Muggle society made a motion picture based off the novel. So as a special treat, my Mother took me to see a film. It was called, 'Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory'. This is what my dream was based on. This movie. In my dream I owned the chocolate factory and this lot," Remus nodded in the direction of his friends. "Were mixed in with a few visitors. Peter fell into the chocolate river. I told him very directly not to go near the river. He didn't listen. Fell right in. I was in a quite traumatized. I yelled, 'Help my chocolate is gangrenous.' No one came to help me. I kept scooping the chocolate out of the river into a huge bowl to be quarantine but it wasn't working because Peter was still in the river. Drowning. Yelling for help. I ignored him. Everyone ignored him. He didn't drown, just kept yelling it and I kept hauling out the chocolate. All the while, Sirius was trying to seduce a witch behind the marshmallow mushrooms. As for my hired help, James was trying to get the Loompas to learn Quidditch. Telling them that their light weight frame was a huge advantage for their team. The Booming Loompas."

"Wow. That must have been a horrible nightmare." Peter patted Remus on the shoulder. "I promise never to go near a river again."

"Was she a good looking bird?" Sirius asked.

"Speaking about Quidditch, which by the way 'Booming Loompas' is an awesome name for a team. My question is what Quidditch worse accident that I suffered in practice or match." James read.

"Oi, what part of you haven't you've broken?" Peter asked. "Ribs, skull, nose, shoulder, wrist, foot, toe, leg, arm, tooth, what's left?"

"The skull fracture wasn't all bad." James told them. "I was pretty much unconscious throughout the recovery and don't remember a thing when it happened. Matter of fact, don't remember anything a week after it either."

"So what's the worse recovery?" Remus asked.

"I have to say it was when I broke a few ribs and pierced a lung." James stated. "I couldn't get enough air and even so, it hurt to breathe anyways."

"Here's a weird post." Peter started to open it but before he could unfold it completely it started shouting at him. Peter quickly folded the post to its previous state.

"Bloody hell, what was that?" Sirius asked.

"It's a charmed message," Remus informed them. "Obviously someone would like to get their point across very clearly." Remus pulled his wand out, swished it through the air and the letter silence. "Try it now, Wormtail. It should be alright."

"If you say so…" Peter slowly opened the letter but this time it did not shout. "Right. The letter says, This is the dog. Join me fellow canine like humans and your non humans will be spared and made into our servants and if we ever wish to see the human again, send a death ray, jet pack and a box of dog treats. Until then, Bindi, Queen of the Corgi and soon-to-be overlord of Earth. Has a post script that tells us that we have ten days."

"Hmph." James waved it off. "Without the jet pack, not much a corgi could do."

"I don't know." Sirius looked over at Remus. "Wouldn't be too bad to have James and Pete as our very own servant."

"I'd make an awful servant, mind you." James informed him. "I would have access to all your personal belongings and the pranks I'd pull wouldn't be good."

"Besides, it's a corgi. I've dealt with worse canines then a short legged runt." James added.

"What other post is there?" Peter asked. "That dog makes me a bit nervous. I do hope it is the last we hear from her."

"Next owl post is from our new listener, Josh. It's great to have you with us. Josh's letter starts with Jambo! I do not know what it means but for some reason it seems like a good yell, doesn't it?" James asked the others.

"I believe it is a type of greetings, what say you Josh?" Remus asked. "Hamjambo? I'm not sure if that's right though."

"Still sounds like a good thing to call when a bludger is coming at you." James muttered. "But proceeding with Josh's note he ask, what our favourite flavour of cheese is as his is smoked cheddar."

"Smoke cheddar does sound rather delicious." Peter told them. "I could go for a sandwich about now."

"Me too." James agreed. "I can't say that I am devoted to cheese. I can take it or leave it. I do like cheese pickle sandwich and cheddar is used most of the time for that combo. There is a cheese with bits of apple within it I have eaten and would do so again. "

"Mozzarella is a favourite of mine," Sirius told them. "After cheddar that is."

"It would depend how it would be eaten, wouldn't it? Pizza or in a sandwich or spotted on top of a dish or even on a breakfast toast," Remus answered. "I do like cream cheese."

"I actually appreciate the diversity of cheese flavours and I rather not just pick one. I suppose Stichelton blue cheese is what I'd lean forward. It's a bit of a creamy cheese. Good with fruit trays." Peter answered. "Josh would like to know, in his own words, 'If you had to invite one Hoggy-warty Hogwarts student into the Marauders, whom would pick?'"

"Right good question, that one." James looked over at Sirius. "Who would we pick? It's a difficult question. There are secrets that only Marauders share with each other and possibly could not be trusted with any other person. Before anyone says it, yes Lily would be my first pick but she doesn't have what it takes to be a Marauder."

"Notice we are all lads here." Sirius addressed. "Evans is not."

"No is she a rule breaker or bender or even consider bending or breaking a rule." James added. "She's just perfect in every way but that."

"I'm really not sure. There is Frank Longbottom, however he would rather leave well enough alone. Doesn't rock the boat, you see. Oh, he's good man. Would put his neck on the line if it was the best solution but like Evans, he just doesn't want to break rules." Sirius complained.

"Oi, you lot get on my case when I don't want to break the rules." Remus frowned at them.

"With you it's different. Your fate was already twined with us before you even stepped on the train. You are a Marauder." James shrugged.

"Maybe Peeves?" Peter asked. "He's always up for laughs."

"He's a nasty vapour of air, Pete." Sirius told him. "Would turn on us quicker than a Death Eater."

"It appears there is no one which we would want to include in our group." James answered the question. "Yet the question said we had to pick someone so let it be peeves. Keep thy enemy close."

"We would just be more careful on what we would share with him." Sirius added. "He would be one Marauder who we wouldn't pass secrets on."

"Last question from Josh is for Sirius." James read. "Josh would like to know why you taught peeves the 'got your conk' trick as it is extremely annoying."

"A rule of Marauders, never confess to anything unless there is proof, that could not be destroyed, that a Marauder had done it," Sirius said. "So I am left to say, it wasn't me."

"Elizabeth has our next question." Peter told the group. "Firstly, if you remember last week's broadcast, Lizzy asked us the question of which American state we would choose if we had to live there. James hadn't a clue so he asked Lizzy to recommend a state."

"I wanted the crowd for action but space to fly, four seasons and a bit of the ocean." James remembered. "Which state do I have?"

"Lizzy recommends New York City," Peter told him.

"I could so do New York," James agreed.

"Has Elizabeth got anything else for us?" Sirius asked.

Peter nodded his head, "She sure does. She would like to know how long does it take for us to do our homework."

"Depends what the lesson is on, the length, the research, the spell, the professor, and the current attention span of those who are doing the homework." Remus answered.

"Average I would say twenty minutes to four hours," James answered. "Quite odd that the Professors seem to think the more that they give us the less trouble we would be in but they are simply wrong. Boredom is the key to our troubled woes and the more lessons we have assigned the faster boredom comes to visit and leaves us searching for some kind of entertainment."

Remus looked at him sceptical.

"'Tis true, I tell you!" James cried. "I sit there doing homework in Herbology and what to my wandering mind comes about?"

"A spell to hex Snape into a fanny shape sprout." Sirius added.

"Or if I am studying Potions, well I get an odd notion to…" James looked over at Sirius.

"Drop some liquid in the Slytherins' solution that would make them all walk in slow motion." Sirius explained.

"And after reading about charms I cannot help but…" Once again James looked over at Sirius.

"Get hexed into a toad by Evans after trying to woo here into your arms." Sirius told them.

James tilted his head with a slight disappointment, "Not exactly the right words to rhyme."

"There are rhymes and there is stating the obvious." Sirius shrugged.

"Lizzy would like to know who our favourite Professor is." Peter frowned. "I think Professor Sprout is nice enough."

"Professor McGonagall for me," James grinned. "She's a tough bird that's true but when it comes to Quidditch, she's the best fan any player could ask for. We have a gamble going on, which of us is more Quidditch supporter. Proffessor Flitwick is rather interesting fellow and another favourite of mine. He is quite the duellist, you know. Can teach you a few tricks that one can."

"Aye, Flitwick is one of my favourite as well," Sirius told them. "He is a laid back Professor, fair as one can be without being McGonagall that is. His detentions aren't so bad. In fact, you get a conversation going about charms and he forgets why you are there."

"I must say that I enjoy Binn's lesson though his never changing pitch does cause drowsiness," Remus said. "Yet because Professor McGonagall is nothing but fair and logical, I have to say that I am partial to her."

"Liz would also like us to name our favourite ice cream flavour." Peter grinned. "I am partial to chocolate and vanilla. Also apple and cream. And banana and raisin. Rum raisin is quite fine as well. Oh and the liquorish taste just like liquorish…."

James blinked at Peter…

"Amaretto is most delicious and oh, what is it called?" Peter looked at James.

James shrugged.

"Your mum served it at your birthday party." Peter reminded him.

"There was a variety of flavours, Wormtail." James said. "I personally like peppermint but chocolate and mocha is a second of mine."

"Cookies and cream. And bubble gum. And lemon taste just like a pie." Peter continued with his list.

"I like vanilla with the strawberry syrup." Sirius told them.

"Orange chocolate chips are very good. Kurly Wurly, the stuff with toffee in it." Peter went on. "Oh and peanut butter…."

"Hot chocolate fudge is what I prefer but James had got me hooked on the peppermint as well." Remus answered.

"Fudge ripple with walnuts and caramel sauce." Peter ended his list of favourites.

"Moving on with the post. We have from FredNeverDies." Remus said.

"Hey Fred! Good to see you back. I believe you were struggling with when to pay and when to play. Hope everything worked out for you and still is doing so." James said.

"Fred says that Mad Eye Moody would be a terrific sight to see in a female uniform!" Remus barked.

Sirius put his head back with laughter.

"Now that would be a death prank if there ever was one!" Peter stated and quickly added. "We aren't going to do it, are we?"

"Oh no." Remus looked over at James. "No. No. No. We wouldn't live through it!"

"We could give him braids!" James stated, his mind working already.

"Stop laughing, Padfoot!" Remus watched as Sirius curled up on the floor holding his stomach while laughing. "James, we will not do it. It's out of the question. Besides, it isn't as if he stops in for tea!"

"We can give him that eye make-up, perhaps in blue? And oh, dark red lip stick I reckon. Maybe a flowered dress…Heels! Oh sure, he will need to wear those extreme unwalkable heels." James went on. "A bra no doubt. Real big ones."

"It's a joke worth dying for!" Sirius wiped the tears from his eyes. "Aye, we should do it."

"No!" Remus shook his head, "You've gone mad, Prongs. Stop encouraging him, Sirius. Mad Eye will kill you and then come after us for not stopping you."

"Relax." James waved Remus' words away. "We aren't going to do it."

"Thank merlin for that." Remus sighed out a relief. Peter too looked relieved as well.

"We need at least another year." James explained. "It would need detailed researching. I am sure we can get him at Hogsmeade. Every powerful witch or wizards ventures into Hogs Head time to time. We just have to make sure we are there at the right time."

"So…." Peter turned green. "We are still going to do it?"

"Most certainly." James nodded his head. "I'm sure I could get more information over the summer. Dad knows him well enough. Maybe plant a bug on him or something."

"Summer is going to be most interesting, James." Sirius grinned.

Remus glared.

Peter swallowed nervously.

James started to jot down a list on his magical parchment.

"I would like to ask our listerners not to send ideas of pranks to us. You will end up killing us." Remus continued to watch jot his information down, wondering how he was going to destroy the parchments and all of the ideas scribbled down.

"Lighten up." Sirius voiced.

"Does Fred say anything else?" Peter asked, hoping to distract James.

"Um…well let me see. Oh, yes. Fred has a bit of an odd question for us." Remus grinned. "This is a question we have discussed between ourselves once before. The question is, 'On the off chance that any of you could become animagi, (though we all know you wouldn't because that'd be crazy and illegal!) would you or would you not be above mating with your animangus' significant other?'"

"Fred is right. We would never become animagi as it is illegal to do so without informing the respected authorities and we are all for respect of authority." Sirius expressed.

James agreed by nodding his head. "Rules are there for our safety and we shall never stray from that net."

"But back to the question," Remus looked at his three friends, for he would never do such a thing. Completely impossible.

"The love of my life is a fiery redheaded witch." James pointed out. "I have no desire to be intimate with any other creature. I just want that one."

"If we had the ability to become animangus, we probably wouldn't feel any attraction towards our counterpart within that change." Sirius took a moment to look over at Peter with doubt.

"I don't!" Peter noticed the accusing glare in Black's grey eyes. "I told you lot before I wouldn't!"

"You say it but…"Sirius shrugged. "There is more to the answer. Say Peter could turn into say…a toad and he had budging eyes for a female toad. That toady wouldn't touch Pete even if her tongue went fifty yards. See true animals sense the magical transformation. They are aware of things not being quite 'right' with an animagus so caution is used when they sort with these special wizards or witches that are remarkable gifted in this highly advance magic that is not taught or practiced at Hogwarts."

"Next question from Fred is what our first impression of each other was about." Remus looked at the others with a curious expression. "That is a really good question and I don't think we have ever addressed it before. Not even in a private conversation with each other."

"Probably because we didn't want to be girls." Sirius stated.

James laughed as he spoke. "Why not have it out? No hard feelings, remember. I will go first. I first met Sirius. We shared the same compartment while traveling on the Express. I thought he was a lazy git. He was there first, you see. Wouldn't help me with my luggage. Didn't even crack a smile."

"I was stunned. James came upon me. Bouncing like a two year old right off a bottle of coffee. His hair was…well like it is now. A mess. He was juggling tons of stuff that he couldn't fit in his trunk. Kept twitching his nose to keep his glasses on…"

"They were a new pair." James explained.

"He then declares that he would be sharing the compartment with me. Like he was doing me a favour!" Sirius went on.

"And it was what I did, wasn't it?" James smiled cheekily. "Still, you only sat there. Didn't say not a word. When I sat down, I asked you a few simple questions and you only shrugged at me."

"The questions were shruggable answers." Sirius explained. "So this twit sits across from me and starts to stare at me."

"You can break any silent with a random stare down." James explained.

"Snape and Evans entered our lives shortly before I decided I could break James' nose to prevent the specs from sliding down his face." Sirius explained.

"That was a mistake I wish I could change." James sighed heavily. "Letting Snape in. I should had just hexed him straight away."

"And that would change Lily's opinion of you how?" Remus asked.

"It isn't about Evans but about…well he deserved it eventually, wouldn't he?" James asked.

"I notice Peter during the sorting. He tipped the stool over while trying to set upon it." Sirius grinned over at their rounded friend. "I thought he would be good for laughs. I wasn't disappointed and I mean that in the most respectful was Peter."

"I appreciated it, Sirius." Peter admitted.

"After our meal, James was pulled aside by McGonagall booing Snape when his name was called for sorting." Sirius looked at James with admiration. "No one has broken the record of getting points taken away so fast."

"Yes. Gryffindor were minus ten points before lessons even started." Remus gave James a bemused smile. "Everyone, no doubt, had dubbed James as trouble. I thought it would be best if I stayed clear of him. I didn't want people focus on me. Beside, all I wanted to do was learn."

"Remus and I introduced ourselves on reaching our room." Sirius told the listeners. "We were first to reach it and had picked out our beds. Our beds are set in a circle so we, of course not wanting to be close to anyone, picked beds across from each other that way there was a bed between us. To me, Remus looked too skinny and the scars, though were interesting, seemed to be intimidating. I remember thinking that I felt as if I was carrying that much scars within. So I approached him. I asked him how he got those scars. He told me he fell."

"You said, I shouldn't fall on my face so much." Remus smirked.

"Aye. I did." Sirius returned the smirk. "Remus would actually think before he said anything. Like he was afraid every time he opened his mouth, he would give away some important detail. I figured him to be a wallflower. Someone who would never really stick out in anyone's memory. I was wrong. I was very wrong."

"Sirius seemed a bit moody." Remus said. "Just being around him was like waiting for a bomb to go off. He reeked tension and I had enough negative vibes in my life, so he was another I decided I wouldn't get too friendly with."

"Peter came into our room. I remembered him from the falling stool. I even told him this." Sirius grinned. "His face turned the brightest red! He wouldn't make eye contact and kept hesitating about where he should sleep. I mean, he only had two beds to decide upon and either one would make him between me and Remus."

"Peter I thought was someone I might be able to make friends with." Remus smiled softly at his friend who now beamed at him. "I instantly picked all the feature faults and marked him an outcast like myself." Peter now frowned but Remus patted his shoulder. "To is more to Wormtail, I learnt that."

"I was afraid of both of them." Peter admitted. "Remus had a few fresh scars and kept averting his eyes like he had something to hide. Sirius kept watching and it made me feel like I should be hiding something. So I just sat on the bed. Looking at me feet and wishing I was a bit more taller."

"That was when James burst through the door raving about the mistreatment of detention and he was going to start a petition, he was sure he could get half the school to sign…" Remus grinned over at James.

"Did get more than half, didn't I?" James asked. "Didn't do a bit of good in the end! I had to do massive scroll on the importance of detention is to people who needed to regard rules, well didn't do them any good in the end either!"

"James jumps on the bed, pasting Quidditch junk all over our walls while telling us this great prank he had been thinking about and we all had important rules of involvement." Sirius said.

"I knew right away I was going to like him!" Peter smiled brightly. "It was like he was something magical."

"I'm a bloody Wizard, aren't I?" James asked.

"What Pete means is that the three of us have always felt like we didn't belong." Remus told him. "And on meeting you, we finally felt that…yet, we all thought you needed some kind of sedation."

"After two in the morning, I was willing to give it to you." Sirius admitted.

"You three had bored me." James shrugged. "About that time, Pete was snoring. You, kept pointing your wand at me and I must say, Sirius it kind of frighten me. And Remus looked like he wanted to throw his very large book at me."

"I was debating that notion." Remus said. "I wasn't sure if I'd get it back though."

"And since I couldn't sleep I went to exploring." James shrugged.

"And got caught putting Gryffindor into minus fifteen points." Remus glared at James.

"That answer was a bit long, sorry about that." Peter said. "Fred has another question?"

"Oh right. Fred's other question is if we could travel back into time, where and when would we travel?" Remus read. "I think I would travel back to when my father met Greyback. Maybe intervene somehow."

"I can't say there is a place or time I'd go back to visit." Peter looked over at James and Sirius.

"Me either. I'm okay with this current time." Sirius agreed.

"Well I know when I'd go back." James told them.

"Let me take a wild guess." Remus said. "September, our first time entering Hogwarts Express. You wish you wouldn't offend Lily, am I right."

"Wrong." James shook his head.

"You wish you hexed Snape?" Peter asked.

"I do but no, I wouldn't waste time travel on what I can do today." James said.

"You wish to push him off the train?" Sirius asked, a bit too hopeful. "That way you have Evans without the extra baggage she is carrying?"

"Not everything is about Evans." James told them. "I would go to the eleventh century to watch the first Quidditch Match."

Sirius just shook his head. "Any more post?"

"A few. Idonotget would like to know, 'Out of all the magical creatures, which would you not want to be stuck on an island with? You can only pick one.'" James read. "Good question. Slugs."

"They're not magical creatures, Prongs." Remus reminded him.

"The flesh eating ones are." James informed him.

"I could do without any of them." Peter sighed. "Well a troll wouldn't be nice to share a limited space with."

"A Basilisk." Sirius answered. "Too many hiding places for it."

"A Fwooper, maybe." Remus answered. "Hard to say, though. As Pete said there are many."

"Our next question is from Serenity who would like to know if we ever went out of our way to do something a muggle way." Peter read. "Oh, no you weren't nit-picking."

"James and I had gotten jobs at a muggle shop." Sirius stated.

"That's not true." Remus pointed you. "You two just dress up as the staff and proceeded to act as if you worked there."

"Still it was rather fun." James admitted. "I loved pushing the shopping trollies."

"The customers didn't when you just randomly started pushing them away." Remus reminded him.

"They didn't' take it too kindly when we helped them with their shopping either." Sirius frowned.

"You filled a lady's cart up with cakes." Remus told him.

"Who doesn't like cake?" Sirius asked.

"The manager apprentaly didn't like us helping out either." James huffed. "Told us to get out and never come back."

"Because you tossed burning potatoes at the customers." Remus sighed.

Sirius shrugged, "I heard it was a muggle sport."

"It is not." Remus picked up the next letter. "This is our last post and it is from our long time listener, RandomFandom. Random says the prank you did on James and Snape in the broom closest was swell, Pete."

"Thank you!" Peter shined.

"Random would like to know if we were to switch bodies with each other, who's would we want." Remus read.

"Prongs! Padfoot!" James and Sirius quickly stated in union without hesitation.

"You two thought about this before?" Remus lifted his brows.

"Thought about it?" James smirked while Sirius shook his head. "We done it."

"You did?" Peter looked back and forth.

"When?" Remus asked.

"Started a year back." James smiled. "Sirius had a date and detention at the same time. So we switch places. Since he owed me, he took a detention off my hands. We do it all the time now. Sometimes we even go as Remus."

"What?" Remus eyes grew large.

"It is how Pasty made the first move on you 'unexpectedly'." Sirius winked at Remus.

"It was also how Lily started speaking to me, after you told her how deeply sorry I was and what a great friend I was to you. Kind. Carrying. Loyal."

"It was also why Evans at one time thought you had a crush on James." Sirius pointed out.

"And that day we locked Peter in the wardrobe so he couldn't take his remake test…" Sirius pointed to himself. "I took it in your place. I was the reason you passed."

"You cheated?" Remus' mouth dropped.

"You guys are the best!" Peter smiled broadly. "I thought Binns made a mistake in letting me pass but I didn't want to correct him."

"You cheated?" Remus asked again.

"We helped a friend." James corrected him. "Just like we would break the law to help you."

"Yeah b-but." Remus decided to glare. "Evans thought I was in love with you?"

"Only a short time!" James held up his hands.

"I went as you and I spoke to her." Sirius told him. "Reason why she wouldn't speak to you for a week."

"Somehow she put two and two together and knew we had something to do with your odd behaviour." James told him.

"More like she put Sirius and James together and got Trouble." Remus growled.

"We didn't hurt no one…." James winced. "Well Snape doesn't count as no one and he grew a new respect for Peter…for awhile."

"I don't want to hear any more." Remus covered his ears.

"I do!" Peter jiggled in his seat. "What else did I do?"

"We should wrap this broadcast up." Remus hurried up before James and Sirius could say anymore. "The pole…"

"The question was, 'Who should wear Hogwarts' female Uniform for a day?'. We had nine voters. Zero voted for Hagrid. Zero voted for Peter. Zero voted for me." James read. "Pete and I would like to send out our thanks to those who respected us. On worth, One voted Snape, though it would had been funny. One voted Remus, which I don't understand why. Three voted for Sirius."

"I got nice legs." Sirius explained.

"Four voted for Filch." James held up his magazine. "And thus, be the victim of our next prank. I'm thinking this hairstyle like a bee-hive?" James looked at the others for their thoughts. "I mean, how great to have a hairstyle that bee colony can dwell within? I'm thinking those hornets?"

"And I'm have picked out this scandalous dress called 'little black dress'." Sirius held up his magazine. "We just aren't sure which shoes. James wants to go with this large boot like shoes but I'm thinking more like normal heels?"

"I remember that being quite clear on telling both of you that I did not want to know." Remus groaned but picked up a magazine. "You probably would want something with large heels so he won't be able to catch you."

"Can I pick out the purse?" Peter reached for another magazine.

"Our next pole question, inspired by Random. Which person would you switch bodies with?" Sirius said. "Remember to follow the profile for the poles."

"Stay tuned for Broom and Zoom Hour followed by Sirius Seduction Hour." James told everyone.

"I want a broadcasting channel." Peter whined.

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the delay. Sorry if I missed a question, please re-post any questions I might have missed.


	19. Scandel Hour

The Scandalmonger Lodger Hour

Hosted by Peter Pettigrew

"Good Morning Broadcast listeners! You all may know me as Peter Pettigrew from Live At Hogwarts! This is my hour, The Scandalmonger Lodger. Pretty catchy, eh?" Peter snickered. "The other Marauders will not be joining us on this hour as this is MY hour! It's all about fairness, I say. Please do not worry about the questions that have already been owled in. They will be answered in our regular air show, Broadcasting Live at Hogwarts. This hour is all mine!

"Remus has his 'Studious Scholar Hour', which students may communicate in research or problem solving situations in their lessons. Most Ravens tune into this hour. Sirius has his 'Sirius Seduction Hour', pretty much everyone tunes into his showing. James has his 'Broom and Zoom' hour that all Quidditch enthusiastic tune into…I believe Professor McGonagall is one of them and rumour has it that Lily Evans has been caught listening as well. I'm sure for different reasons."

Peter paused to glance down at his sloppy notes, "So what do _I_ bring to you? The scandals of Hogwarts! I have a few but only a few as the idea had just came to me not but a minute ago! I'm told some of the best ideas are like that.

"The most recognized scandal is that of James Potter and Lily Evans. Who will win in the end? That is the question on everyone's mind. Will Lily say 'No' one day and will James walk away to never bother her again or will Evans' 'No' turn into a 'Yes'? Is it possible for James to break through this Potter Shield Evans had placed around her? Some reports have said they witness her searching for Potter during meals. Friends say she was on the lookout for escapes."

Peter shifted through his notes ones more. He put his feet up on the oblong table, with a bit of difficulty and tipped his chair back in a manner he had witness James and Sirius do many times before. "The third player on the Evans and Potter scandal is Severus Snape, who also showed his affections for Miss Evans at a _very_ young age. Though he showers her with great kindness, he tends to belittle others. Naturally this has caused a bitter and competitive row between James Potter and Severus Snape. Who will Lily Evans pick? We will keep you updated with the latest attempts and shot downs.

"There is an outbreak of the Delirious Lip Lock Rash. For those that do not know, this is a contagious rash which is passed by the act of snogging. It is _highly_ contagious during the incubation period when symptoms have not yet been established on the carrier. Once the symptoms start to appear, it is no longer to be passed onto another party. Signs that you have the Delirious Lip Lock Rash are as follows: a Slight pink rash around the mouth with swollen lips. Glazed eyes. Headaches. Nausea. Fatigue. Sore joints. Again, these symptoms appear after the contagious stage has passed.

"See Madam Pomfrey if you suspect you may have the snogging rash. Also if you have recently made lip contact with the following students that have been recently treated for this illness: Allissa Anglic, Robert Allsgode, Bellatrix Black, Sirius Black, Jared Calnis, Jeff Chambers, Dorthy Douglas, Rabastan Lestrange, Rodolphus Lestrange, Gilderoy Lockhart, Remus Lupin, Jullian Macmillan, Jason Mavic, Marlene McKinnon, Harmony Nott, Susian Phlips, Karen Smith, Severus Snape, Heather Swinns, Thomas Thompson, Marshell Timms, Amanda Tunes, and Lu Lu and Sasha Vishnu.

"Rather a long list, is it not? Makes you wonder who is cheating on whom and with whom!" Peter smirked as he attempted to cross his ankles, which were still positioned upon the table. This caused him to unbalance himself right off the chair, dragging the microphone with him. "Ooff." Peter moaned as he rubbed his head. "How I do wish for longer legs." Peter crawled further under the table as the door to his broadcasting room started to jiggle. "It seems we have a visitor folks." Peter whispered.

Sirius allowed Juliet to pull him inside the room by his hand. "I'm not sure this is a good idea, Juls." Sirius pretended to play innocent. "We really must get to breakfast, what would people think? And it wouldn't be good if we missed our lessons!"

Juliet closed the door with her foot and grabbed Sirius tie, pulling him towards her. "Don't play innocent with me, Black." She gave him no warning as she furiously assaulted his lips while pulling the hem of his shirt out of his trousers to bare some skin. "I know all the stories about you and I want to know if they are true." She mumbled against his lips.

"W-what? You mean, people are talking about me?" Sirius asked with false surprise. He tried to push her away with a slight push. More so a poke. "We really must stop, Juls. This is so…wrong. What if we get caught?"

Juliet raised her eyebrows just before she pushed him backwards against the table. She quickly straddled him, tearing the buttons off his shirt. "Babe…" Sirius grinned as he helped her out of his blouse.

"Um…I'm down here." Peter squawked.

"Who is it!" Juliet quickly put some distant between herself and Sirius.

"Pete? Peter?" Sirius, still upon the table, looked under it upside down. "Explain. Now."

"I was here first, you know." Peter told him. "I'm doing my own broadcasting air time." Peter held up the microphone. "It's fair seeing as you lot have your own."

"I t-think I'm um…" Juliet slipped out the door.

"Do you realise what you just ruined?" Sirius asked him. "She was all aggressive! I was lovin' it!"

"W-what was I to do?" Peter asked. "I didn't want you to…well you know while I was under the table that you would be doing…well you know, on top of."

"Why the bloody hell not?" Sirius asked. "If our places were reversed, I would have let you go about it!"

"B-but I was here!" Peter pointed to his little spot. "Right under the table!"

"And you should have kept quiet about it." Sirius barked. "Now I got to chase her down and start from the top."

Peter watched Sirius exist the room, slamming the door behind him. "B-but I was here. Right here." Peter blinked at the door. "He's mad. Simply mad. Don't think there isn't a Black thats not…er.." Peter looked down at the microphone, which was still on. "Um…not the Blacks that are in Hogwarts. None of them are mad. Nope. Not at all. Oh, their parents are sane, I'm sure. Not that I have ever met them and I hope I would never will, though I am sure they are charming people. I'm dead. I'm so dead." Peter quickly shut off the microphone and went to search out James, who would protect him from Sirius Black or Bellatrix Black or both.

* * *

A/N: just a short tween chapter to make up for that dreadful delay a week back. Please continue with questions they will be answered in the next regular Broadcasting Hour. cheers!


	20. Chapter 20

"Yesterday I thought I knew how amazing I am until today, when I realized just how extraordinary amazing I truly am." James told his friends who sat at a small round wooden table that was in the middle of the small rounded room they were using for Broadcasting Live at Hogwarts. "I did the most impressive, wonderful thing today that astonished even me. I am starting to believe that I will never know the exact measurement of my astonishing abilities."

Sirius looked over at Remus and Peter, who both shrugged in return. "I think you are going to need a bit more explanation there, mate."

"You lot know how exceeding well I am at Transfiguration class? I am probably even three times better than Professor McGonagall when she was my age," James boasted.

The three other Marauders nodded tolerantly.

"Today I decided that I would show Evans just how exceedingly incredible I am to impress her. I turned her homework into a heart." James beamed, his eyes danced from one friend to another and none seem to understand.

"The parchment she had been bent over for the last four days?" Sirius winced, already knowing the story wouldn't be a good one.

"Right. While she held her assignment in her lovely, soft hands, I transformed it into a heart." James looked at his friends waiting for their gasp of his extraordinary talents. They remained silent. "She was just sitting there and the next thing she knew, she held a heart in her hands." James sighed as he still did not receive a bravo from his friends. "Come on. It was quite remarkable. Not just anyone can turn parchment into a heart."

Sirius frowned at James' last words and exchanged a quick glance over at Remus who seemed to have come to the same conclusion.

"But that's kind of lame, isn't it?" Peter asked bluntly. "Who hadn't made a heart for a girl before? It's hardly anything new."

"A lot of people, I should think." James frowned at Peter's opinion. "I personally haven't heard of anyone doing something quite unique as that."

"Shall we do Deathly Hallows?" Remus asked Sirius while holding out a single fist between him and Sirius.

Sirius nodded his head and mimic Remus. Together they bounced their wands in the air seven times before casting an image of a Deathly Hallow object floating just at the tip of their wands. Remus image was the wand while Sirius showed the stone.

"I win, you ask the question." Sirius smirked as he turned his attention to James.

"Ask what?" James questioned. Remus and Sirius ignored him but Peter gave him a shrug of 'I don't know' when he looked over at his way.

Remus clasped his hands in front of him and leaned slightly in James direction. "James, when you say you transformed the parchment into a heart, what exactly do you mean?" Before James could reply, Remus tapped his arm to quiet him, "Because a replica of a living heart that is within a person is quite scary and not at all attractive as those cut out hearts people make for Valentines."

"It-was." James looked at each of his friends. "Come off it! Anyone can do a stupid cut out but what I did was an actual heart which is far more extraordinary than a stupid cut up parchment!"

"Hmph, well time will show how much you impressed her with that trick, Prongs." Sirius grinned. "Let us move to our Broadcasting Show, shall we?"

"It was…" James continued but again, Remus cut him off.

"We really need to do this show, Prongs." Remus sighed wearily.

"I have the first letter, right here." Peter voice echoed in the small room, "From FamousNoone who ask, if we had to switch Houses which House would we switch?"

"Home schooling sounds like it." James whispered a bit loudly.

"Hogwart's House, James. Hogwarts." Remus reminded him.

"Oh very well. I would switch to the Huffles." James answered. "For the very good reason as they can take a joke and sometimes play it back. Ravens are not relaxed on rules. If the rules say one cannot blow their nose after ten, well Ravens would enforce that rule even if someone hexed a Sneeze-O-Lot charm on the whole common room. Also, Ravens are a far too interested in what other people, especially if say other people are being shifty about it, or what other people are doing if they are to be doing something else."

"What about Slytherins?" Remus asks.

"Not even an option. I would request home schooling before I find myself as a House Member with that lot." James growled.

"It would be difficult between RavenClaws and the Hufflepuffs." Remus thought out loud. "I know I could fit in extremely well with the Ravenclaws, yet as James had said, they do tend to watch closely and I think they would be quick to find secrets out. Secrets that should be left alone. I don't think I would do well in Slytherins. Not well at all." Remus gave a small shoulder shrug, "Suppose that leaves Hufflepuffs."

"Wouldn't even find my dirty socks in the Sytherin House." Sirius wrinkled up his nose in disgust. "I'm not sure if I would be able to stand living with Hufflepuffs. I would insist on being superior, as I do now but Gryffindor House are quick to hex that out of me. I'm afraid Hufflepuff would shrug my boast off as joking and so doing, would cause me to become the next Dark Lord. Ravenclaw would be quick to put me straight."

James smiled, "Dark Lord? What would that be like? Rise to torcher wizards by flirting with their witch but only after the noon hours because anything before that is just too early?"

"You say that now, Prongs." Sirius looked at James through his thick lashes. "Just wait until I make you watch me sweep Evans off her dainty little feet."

"Wouldn't work, would it?" James raised his brows. "I already tried that last year with the latest broom model Dragon Bolt Elven. She wasn't all that impressed. Even after I added my own personal touches. I suspect I would be getting a new broom before Quidditch is over."

"Move on before Quidditch over takes our conversation." Remus whispered urgently to Peter.

Peter nodded his head several times as he picked up the owl post from FamousNoone. "Are next question is asking us to pick one person who we would want to read minds with for the rest of our lives and why would it be that person."

"Evans." James slammed the palm of his hands down against the table, causing Peter to jump a bit in his seat. "It would make this whole courting thing so much easier if I could read her mind as she expects me to do. Then, after we are married…no doubt she would still expect me to read her mind so this magical ability would help me throughout my marriage life as well."

"A part of me would like to say, James." Sirius looked over at his best mate. "But if you ask Prongs what he is thinking, he will usually tell you."

"You two seem to get along well without mind reading." Peter added. "It's uncanny how well you two know each other without saying a word."

"Thank you Peter." Sirius voice dripped sarcasm.

"Anytime, mate." Peter smiled smugly, not getting the sarcasm.

"I would also pick Remus but…" Sirius sighed with disappointment. "I'm afraid he thinks too much about school work and it would be similar to doing my lessons. For that, I think Voldermort that way I would always be there to ruin his plan."

"Good answer, Pads." James shifted in his seat, already sitting too long and becoming a bit bored. "I am still going with Evans. Voldy is pretty simple. Kill all that is not pure-blood. Kill all that is opposing of killing muggles and mix-bloods. Kill all that angers me. Kill all that have a backbone. Kill all that I think may anger me, 'cept my witty bittle snakey-poo. Evans is much more challenging and even thinking about trying to understand her hurts my brain." James rubbed the side of his head for good measurements.

"Well I think I would like to understand Dumbledore." Peter spoke up. "He is a strange man. Very strange."

"Our next owlery is from our dear friend, Syd." Remus grinned, "Syd has even given us from packages."

"Oooo…." James reached for his little box. "What do you suppose is in it? Can I open it now? I'd like to open it now." He shook his box and frowned. "I believe whatever is inside has now broken." James looked over at Peter's package, which was a bit bigger. "Trade you?"

"Uh –huh." Peter shook his head, pressing his gift closer to himself.

"We can open them after the show." Remus placed his own gift under his parchment. "Syd is doing well it seems. Mother has taken the family dog to the clinic and it appears there was too much caffeine in the lovely pooch's food."

Three Marauders turned towards James who was tossing his gift up in the air to catch it again, while leaning back on his chair with only one leg of the chair preventing him from falling.

"Can we cut back his caffeine?" Peter whispered to Remus.

"Sadly, no. He really doesn't get much caffeine in his diet." Remus sighed, as he had thought the same thing.

"This room has an echo." James reminded them. "Whispering doesn't do an ounce of good on your part. If you must know, Mum has taken me to see a specialist when I was four and I am fine. Very normal. Very healthy young wizard."

"I'm sure." Remus took his attention off of James, who now was tossing his present back and forth with Sirius, and back to the letter. "Syd has a friend name Megan."

"She wants to date me?" Sirius asked.

Remus didn't bother to take his eyes off of the parchment. "Syd calls her the Very Vicious."

"Maybe she's a Black?" Peter quipped.

"Probably not. Syd says that they had a bit of a debate about time traveling and would like our thoughts on the subject. Syd ask that if a future you came back and told you not to do something, would you? Syd believes in the fact that if killing your grandfather before one is born, would cause reason for the said one to not exist, which would cause that person to not go back in time. Megan believes there is a possible creation of a parallel universe if she would go back in time to tell someone something and that someone would take her advice and change the future."

"I love time travel questions. They are full of paradoxes." James grinned. "It's like trying to find a loop-hole in the very specific written rules. I think the biggest rule to remember that the future is always changeable but the past cannot be changed. If one was to go back into the past and cause a parallel universe than we could not have a solid universe as there is always something someone would like to change. Now saying that, I'd like to add that just because you think something had happen or you see something that had happen might not always had happen that way."

"Very true. Say that um…James dies by the hands of Snape and I witness it happening. Now, let us say that I go back into time to save his scrawny arse by telling him what had happen, what would James do?" Sirius looked over at his friend.

"I'd hunt that slimy git down and get a shot before he gave it to me." James scowled.

"And that maybe the very reason you would had died. The future Sirius may have put you in Snape's path in the first place, accidentally of course." Remus added. "Using the same example let us assume that I go back in time two days after James' death in order to save him but I do not tell him about what is to happen. Instead I give him a tonic that would make him appear dead after the Snape's hex hits him and for two days he would appear to be dead. He still gets the hex he was meant to receive and for two days, he is believed to be dead. After those two days, he is now in my future which hasn't been written yet and can be changed because it would not change anything. So my tonic wears off in todays, James is alive and nothing really has been changed."

"Also, you could not be in the exact spot at the same time." Peter added his own thoughts. "Say I would come from the future to now, I could not sit in this exact spot because I am already here. That goes for anyone. If James would bounce back into today's time, he could not sit where Remus is sitting because that space is already occupied."

"Time travel is a true enigma." James smiled. "A path that was meant to be explored."

"Syd has advice. She says that she would appreciate it if a certain pair of black haired troublemakers had more respect for women as it takes hard work to hate each other in secret. Post scriptum, you and Snape should try this method as Lily would prefer it." Remus looked over at James.

"I respect women." James told the group. "And Sirius does too. He really likes them and treats them pretty good."

"And why would we try anything with Snape?" Sirius asked. "Are we to respect him for acting like a girl or something?"

"And we don't hate each other." James pointed a finger at himself and then at Sirius. "I don't wish to hate him in secret."

"No…" Remus sighed. "I don't think Syd was referring to Sirius."

"Who else?" Sirius asked. "James and I am the only one with black hair between us."

"Well that's just it," Remus tried to explained. "She wasn't referring between our group. Just James and Snape."

"That's it. I'm going to hex him." James spat.

"For what?" Remus asked.

"He's spoiling our show!" James slammed his hand on the table, starting Peter from his mild doze.

"He's not even here." Remus told him.

"He's causing a row between you and I by the mere mention of his name. He's going to get hexed." James folded his arms in a pout.

"Let it go, Moony. He's got that determination look again. Next letter is from lovely Elizabeth." Sirius read. "She would like to know our best vacation spots and what we like to eat when sick."

"I for one think James' place is the best vacation retreat." Remus smiled over at James. "It has everything and unlike Sirius, who has just as much, there is happiness there."

"Aye." Sirius agreed. "Every day is a good day at the Potter Home."

"There are a lot of exciting places to visit during the Holidays." James shrugged. "Depends what interest you. New Zealand is a great area to see. Quite beautiful, I say. Um…Italy has wonderful history to explore. Norway also has its own riches; I prefer the dragon lairs myself. Egypt has the pyramids that are quite fun to explore during evenings. Tons of people visit London and Paris. Ireland is another lovely place to visit. I have been to Hawaii once. Took a trip above the volcano. It was very islandly."

"As for illness, I suppose that would be what is ailing you." Remus frowned. "James tends catch cold often…"

"Twit plays outside in freezing rain." Sirius glared at James. "Then keeps us up all night because he coughs a lung up and doesn't quite until we hex his arse to the Hospital Wing."

"I would like to remind you lot to knock it the hell off." James sulked. "Last week that double hex caused my tongue to swell and Pomfrey thought I had something else."

"I like cold things when I'm ill. Like ice cream." Peter answered the question. "Frozen fruit drinks. Frozen frizzes. Stuff like that. Tomato soup isn't bad either."

"I usually eat soup. It's easy to go down, doesn't have a lot of stuff in it unless it's stew." Remus stated. "Some tea as well."

"Tea makes everything a little better." James agreed. "I prefer peppermint tea myself. A bit of toast and that's it. Though I do like stew but not when I am ill. There is just too much chunks."

"Pudding." Sirius told them. "Pudding is the answer to everyone's woos and it comes in many flavours. Ginger cookies are good as well."

"Next letter is anonymous." Peter read. "Which means you are subjected to the abuse of James' naming you."

James tapped his hand against the table. "A name, what shall we name this person... Burkley."

"Right. So Burkley would like to know if it is better to a guy that a girl is one of the guys or if the girl is all girly girl?" Peter read.

"Hmmm…I think it would be better question asked of girls, honestly." Sirius answered. "I don't mind either one. Evans is very girlish and don't take it as I'm aiming at your bird, mate but she a beautiful lady. Evans is the kind of bird you want to hold in your arms and never let go. You want to protect her, however she has proven she can do so on her own. Marlene is more boyish as she will clout you if you piss her off but all that fire is a turn on and the fact she can take any man down adds a bit of fear when dating her and who doesn't like a bit of scare in their life, eh? She's great to hold but just as fun if you let her go."

"I don't think it's whether the girl is a bit boyish or a bit too girlish but the balance the relationship needs." Remus said. "What say you, James?"

"I just want Evans." James threw his palms up, which caused him to miss the box that Sirius tossed his way. "Ouch. Prat! You knew I wasn't watching."

"Some chaser you are." Sirius shook his head in disappointment.

"Next question from Burkley is which we would like better in a girlfriend. One that doesn't laugh at our jokes or one that laughs too much." Peter looked over at the guys. "I'd rather have one that would laugh then one that didn't."

"True but too much laughing, when you know it's not all that funny is a bit annoying." Sirius wrinkled his nose.

"Evans has laughed at my jokes but not all of them." James grinned. "She's perfect."

"This is a hard question. Someone who doesn't laugh at any of my jokes would probably make me question if they even liked me. Someone who laughs at all my jokes would make me question if they are sane." Remus frowned as he debated within his own mind. "I guess someone that laughs then one that would not."

"Neko also known as Midnightshawdow but will her forth will be Mary if you will. James read.

"I'm confused." Peter whined.

"That would be standard for you, I should say. Mary has sent our next owl message." James told his friends. "She ask if it is normal for owls to attack you once you enter the Owlery." James placed the parchment down gently. "No, Mary. No it's not normal at all. Owls are accustomed to witches and wizards entering their tower. There is something aberrantly wrong with you. Ouch…blimey Remus, why'd you go and hit me?"

"Because you are an idiot!" Remus hit him once more for good measurements. He glared as James' rubbed his arm and returned the glare. "I do apologies for my friend, Mary. James shouldn't have said that. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you at all. I would recommend looking in your pockets for treats that may attract the owls. Or if you have a rodent for a pet, this is the owls' natural food and that may give them the urge to attack. Also, some students had their scent sprays replaced with Essene of Rattus, it would be wise for you to check to your bottle in case you were among these random victims."

"Emphasis on the word 'Random', mind you." Sirius gave a devilish grin.

James looked over at Sirius with a curious expression. "Exactly how many bottles were switch, do you suppose? Twelve? Forty? Something in the middle?"

"Twelve and forty is a big middle, Prongs." Peter informed him.

"We…I mean, I have heard twenty-three bottles were switched. Ten on witches and eleven on wizards in random houses." Sirius leaned close to the microphone, "Of course that is just a rumour."

"Ah, well on with the next question of Mary's." James continued with the letter. "She asks of Remus, Sirius and Peter but not me, if you lot have ever experience an unrequited love? It makes perfect sense why she has not included me in this question."

"Because everyone knows your unrequited love hexes you daily?" Peter asked.

James glared at him, then at Sirius who barked out a laugh. "No. She did not ask me because it is clear to everyone, except Evans, that she in love with me hence will not be an unrequited love. Bloody hell, even Snape knows this!"

"Well I have and let me tell you, it hurts." Peter frowned. "It hurts more that this 'unrequited' love only used, pretending that we were nice friends and all to get closer to one of my friends."

"Which friend?" Sirius asked.

"It doesn't matter wish friend it was, now does it?" This time, Peter was the one glaring. "False pretence was what it was. She just kept stringing me along and it hurts."

James stood up with his wand out, "Shall I hex her? I bloody will. Tell me who it is and I'll go about doing it now."

"Thank you but no." Peter shook his head sadly. "Can't blame her, not really. She cannot help who she is attractive to but if it makes everyone feel better, one of you is her unrequited love."

"Oddly, no. It doesn't make me feel better at all." Remus frowned.

"Well, it's not you." Peter pointed out.

"I feel better." Remus agreed.

"Is me? It is me, isn't it?" Sirius gave a lazy stretch. "Girls can't but help love this."

"I shan't say. It is between you and James and that would give it all away." Peter told him.

Remus opened his mouth to say something but opted out, thinking it was better not point out that Peter already gave it away.

"Well I can't say that I ever had an unrequited love but I only go out with girls that are interested in me." Sirius pointed out. "It saves me from going through that entire problem that James is currently undergoing."

"Evans isn't a problem, she's a challenge." James tossed his present at Sirius, aiming for an eye.

"Ouch." Sirius shook the sting out of his fingers. He had managed to catch the small box but James' always had a hard throw.

"I am careful on who I date and…well, things are difficult for some people than others." Remus slid the quill's feather between his fingers. "I have had crushes that I can't say that I proceeded with for the fear the affection would not be returned." Remus smiled over at James. "Not everyone has Prong's courage of being rejected daily."

"It isn't rejection!" James threw his hands in the air. "It's denial. She will come through. Once she admits that she feels how I feel, it will all come together. You lot have no idea how it just 'clicked' like a light in the dark. Evans and I will be together. There is no one else but us."

"That would be extraordinary, mate." Sirius gave him a genuine smile but since not many had seen that smile before, Peter and Remus took it as a smile one might give to an insane person while humouring their ideas.

"Yes." James agreed with him. "Mary asks three questions that all of us should answer. The first one is what is the first thing we think of as we wake up? Second question is, do we enjoy muggle sports and the last, the worst outcome of our pranks?"

"Isn't detention enough?" Peter asked seriously. "When I wake up the first thing I think is 'as soon as I get the chance, I'm going straight back to bed'. It doesn't come true. Not when you are a Marauder."

"I wonder how day arrives so early when nothing else is on time." Sirius yawned in thinking of sleep. "My first thoughts are, 'just ten more minutes'."

"I don't really think about anything when I wake up. It became a habit that I should always wake up with a bit of caution…James doesn't sleep through the nights and sometimes he would prank us while we sleep." Remus glared at James. "From turning our apartment into an ice room…

"Letting loose some pixies…" Peter added.

"To levitating our beds into the Great Hall…" Sirius grinned. "I can certainly say that every witch now knows what we do or do not sleep in."

James smiled proudly. "I don't think I just act. Next question is about the sports. I find rugby fascinating as well as football. Hockey is also a wonderful sport to play. I also love skiing."

"I don't know any muggle sports." Peter shrugged.

"I've watch rugby and sat through football." Remus shrugged, "Rather have books though."

"After Quidditch, I can't say that there is a sport out there that gasps my attention the way it does. Mind, we aren't all energetic like Prongs." Sirius nodded in James' direction. "That leaves us with the worst outcome of a prank."

"Evans acting like a stropping hen." James grumbled.

Sirius grinned, "Maybe for you but her behaviour doesn't bother us, mate. There was a prank that we overzealous with and I think we all felt a tad guilty about." Sirius looked over at his friends to confirm his statement. James held up a small space between his thumb and forefinger to indicate a small amount. "Some less than others, I presume."

"The prank ended up giving the first years and some six years nightmares. Sleeping tonic had to be used in a great number. James actually received a Howler…which pretty much cooed all over him."

"Mum called me poppy in front of all Hogwarts in that Howler." James stated. "It took four weeks of hexing before anyone stopped calling me their witty poppy."

"James and Sirius took blunt of the blame, Peter and I did appreciate that act of kindness." Remus gave them a sincere grin. "The prank was a mix of potion and charm. It allowed a few students to suddenly fall asleep, that was the potion drought. The charm, well it made a slight image of them so that when they dropped down…in sleep, it appeared that their spirit raised and those around them, well they thought they had 'dropped dead' and now were ghost."

"Witches thought they lost a best friend, a boyfriend or whatnot." Sirius shrugged. "It did put quite a fright into the first years, I will say that and that I did actually felt a bit guilty about it."

"The screams." Peter shook his head in 'memberance. "The crying. The points we lost. The hours of dentition. The harsh glares. The disappoint lectures. We got the full blow."

"It was because we were brilliant." James told them. "If we weren't so good, we would never have made it look so realistic. We were amazing, I tell you but - yes. It was something that didn't have the precise turn about as we had hoped for and we paid the price in much more than detention and minus house points."

"Moving to the next question, this is from RandomFandom." Remus read. "Who's body would we switch with other than a Marauder?"

"Evans." James answered quickly. "Just wanted to take her off that list, mates."

"No one was going to say her name." Sirius gave a sharp look at Peter, "Right, Wormtail?"

"R-right." Peter blushed a little at the cheeks. "I wasn't going to say her name. Were you?"

"No." Sirius said hotly, still glaring at Peter. "I was going to say that I would change it with McGonagall and not in a crude way, either. Just imagine me having control of McGonagall! The class would never know what to think. The things I would do and the strangeness she would appear to be!"

"I would jump into Dumbledore's." Remus answered. "Curious about what he does all day. We don't see much of him, you know. Locked up in his office all day. I cannot picture him doing nothing at all."

"The map indicates he paces all day." James told them.

"Shhhh…." Peter pointed the microphone. "I think Snape because I'd be a such a nark that everyone would hate him more and he'll end up getting hexed by his own House."

"Moving to the next question from our friend, Josh." Sirius smoothed out the parchment, "Josh would like us to pick an instrument, lead guitar, rhythm guitar, bass guitar, drums. These instruments are the 'classic' Beatle layout."

"Oh, that's the band you told us all about Padfoot." Peter snapped his fingers and pointed at Sirius. "I don't like them, if I recall."

"I call drums." James answered.

Remus frowned at him. "You know I always wanted to play the drums, Prongs."

"Well yeah but I think you should do something in the front of the stage and let me bang them." James answered him.

"I'm the oldest so naturally, I should be able to pick what I would like to play before the rest." Sirius told them. "I want the drums. "

"Youngest always goes first," James frowned at him. "I get the drums."

"I thought the best looking lads get centre stage?" Peter told them.

James shrugged his shoulders with indifference, "Doesn't matter to me. I got Evans. I get the drums too."

"Just because you want it doesn't mean you should have it." Remus told him.

"Mum says differently." James pointed out before sticking out his tongue.

"I guess I pick the bass then. Don't think it makes a difference as I don't know how to play any of them." Peter answered.

"So three playing the drums and one playing a bass guitar," Sirius pulled a face. "What a lousy band we'd make."

"Hey, Josh would also like to know if we like turtleneck jumpers," James read. "Nope. Hate them. Isn't enough that we wear ties 'bout our necks?"

"I look smokin' in them, personally but I don't think they are made for comfort." Sirius shook his head. "Rather not have them in my wardrobe."

"I don't mind them so much." Peter shrugged.

"They are useful during cold weather. Practical, they are." Remus answered.

"Next owl post is from…well, Josh wrote to us again." Sirius grinned. "Isn't he great? Josh letter reads…and I'm going to read this as I received it, ''Jambo' means hello in Swahili. But I am not Swahili. I'm Indian. India's a nice place. But seriously hot and overcrowded. You have any idea how bloody crowded it is? HAVE YOU EVEN EXPEREINCED THE HORRORS? AND YOU CALL YOURSELVES MARAUDERS. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED."

Peter covered his years. "Just because someone writes in large letters, doesn't mean you need to scream them out Pads."

Sirius pointed to the parchment in his hands, "But it has a lot of expression and if I read it normally, you would never feel that passion!"

"I thought Jambo was a greeting." Remus' face show confusion. "Was my own greeting incorrect? Hamjambo?"

"So it means 'hello' that doesn't take away the fact that it would be an extraordinary word to use in Quidditch. No, I'm going to use it during our next match no matter what it means. In fact, the meaning doesn't take away the usage as at all. It's how you say it." James told them. "Now as for the crowd in India, no I cannot say that I do know but it doesn't mean I haven't been in places that are crowded. I do know what that feels year in London, horrible and Stonehenge during travel peak is quite dreadful. I've been in Egypt and some of those places are very crowded. I've seen the Colosseum, San Clemente Basilica and Pantheon in Rome – all crowded places. I also have used the public transportation thanks to Sirius and I shall not use it again. It is hot and crowded and you wish more people bathed. So I do not feel ashamed for calling ourselves Marauders. I would like to recommend that you act a bit mad while you are in a crowded area. People seem to be weary of madness. It may give you a bit more space. We do understand what you feel and we do sympathise as you are slowly suffocated by bodies of the population of India. I'm not sure that we have anything that may help you, however. Oh, perhaps one of those fog horns should prove entertaining in your area? Unless you get charged for polluting the air with sound…oddly some countries do. "

"I like the trolley, mate." Sirius frowned. "It was rather fun. I do get where Josh is coming from, though. Yet, I enjoy the crowd."

"Beside from moving, there really isn't anything you can do about it." Remus said. "But we still wish you the best and hope you find space you crave. I personally prefer a country setting more so than a city. I would abhor to live in a crowded area."

"You could not bath for a year." Peter shrugged. "Maybe that would give you a bit more space."

"Look, we have another letter from Syd as well. What great listeners we have." Remus told his friends. "Syd said that you did a smashing job, Peter and a wise choice to let Sirius aware that you were indeed, there."

"Thank you Syd." Peter grinned.

"Syd would like to know why Sirius, with the Lip Lock Rash, was snogging Juliet." Remus, as well as the other two Marauders, turned their attention on Sirius.

"You bad dog." James scolded him.

"Bloody twit." Sirius glared at Peter. "Went about letting everyone know…."

"Pomfrey had a list posted on the door. It was for public awareness." Peter pointed out.

"I was treated for Lip Lock Rash because I showed signs of it." Sirius explained. "The illness is only contagious before it shows the symptoms. Once I…realized that I had it, I went to the Hospital Wing to get sorted out. At that time, I was no longer contagious. The tonic is dreadful but it cures quickly so when I was with Juliet, I was no longer a carrier of the virus."

"That you were aware of…" James smiled smugly. "I mean, you could have contracted again. Who knows where you lips were before they reached Juliet's. That poor girl…"

"Piss off." Sirius flung his boxed present back at him. "I was safe."

"Syd goes to say that if you don't watch yourself she will sic her pooch on you." Remus grinned, turning the letter over for him to see. "I think this pup could take you, Pads."

"The last time Pads was out and 'bout, he itched like he contacted mange." James grinned. "Oh, perhaps that was the Snogging rash causing the itch, eh?"

"Didn't I tell you to bugger off somewhere?" Sirius growled.

"Syd also states that Girls Rule." Remus blinked at the letter. "I don't understand."

"Rule what?" Peter asked.

"I just said I didn't know." Remus told him.

"Another post was from Fred who remarks that the Scandal Lodger was amusing and wouldn't mind listening to more." James read the parchment Remus held by looking over his shoulder, which he knew Remus hated.

Remus frowned at him, putting the parchment closer to his chest so James' couldn't read it any longer.

"Too late, it was all there was." James gave him an impish grin.

"The show was quite fun to do." Peter grinned. "I'm glad everyone enjoyed it and I wish to do more but we also want to leave you wanting more so…we probably will but it will be random."

"And our last question is from Barb." Sirius told the Marauders.

"Alright Barb?" James turned his box about, shaking it once more.

"Barb agrees with you, mate." Sirius told James. "She also thinks I should have a warning label."

"I do like Barb." James smiled fondly.

"She says that I am still cute." Sirius smiled cheekily.

"She's mad." James stated.

"Remember last week we all gave to guessing which House Barb was sorted in?" Sirius asked his friends and noted their nods. "Well, she is a Gryffindor."

"Someone in our own house." Remus pointed out.

"Obviously." James rolled his head. "She best check her perfume bottles all I am saying."

"So we know her!" Peter eyes grew. "That's so interesting."

"I'm sure we know a lot of students that tune into our show." Sirius told him.

"But that she is still listening is what amazes me." Remus told them.

"It's because I'm cute." Sirius showed them the letter, pointing to the word 'cute'. "Barb's question is when we first snogged..."

"Each other?" Peter asked, his mouth about dropped.

Remus smacked the back of his head. "Obviously not since we haven't."

"AND…" Sirius looked pointy at Peter. "With whom."

"How do we always end up with these girly questions?" James asked.

"I guess because that is the gender doing the questioning." Peter said.

"Belinda Murphey." James answered. "First year after the fourth Quidditch Match…on the Quidditch Pitch. Tongue and all. That was before I realized I was in love with Evans."

"I snogged Vanity Summers under the birch tree in our second year." Peter admitted.

"Did she want you to kiss her?" Sirius asked seriously.

"Of course. I wouldn't have done it if she hadn't." Peter told him.

"Well my first kiss was with Marlene, also in our first year. Our snogs got better with more practice but so did our arguments." Sirius looked over at Remus.

"I'm not so sure we should tell other students which witch we snogged. It doesn't seem right." Remus told them.

"Very cheval of you, gramps." James patted him on the shoulder. "Most likely, the birds already tweeted to all their lovely friends. It's probably safe to say."

Remus told them reliantly, "Maggie Loft. She caught me in the Library in our second year and it went from there."

"In the library, eh?" James shook his head. "Why am I not surprise?"

"Poll time!" Peter rubbed his hands together. "Last week question was, 'Who would you switch places for a day with' . Zero voted for the following: Sirius, Peter, Snape, Mad Eye, Filch, Regulus, Dumbledore, Hooch, Bella, McGonagall, and Mytle."

"It's because you're mad, mate." James turned to look at Sirius. "No one wants to understand that."

"One vote for Lovegood." Peter read, "And one vote for James."

"Because one person would like to know what it feels like to have a big head." Sirius snorted.

James winked.

"Twat." Sirius snarled.

"Two voted for Remus." Peter continued.

"Awwwww…." James and Sirius said together.

"And four for Evans." Peter finished. "That gives a total of eight votes."

"Our next poll, inspired by Josh and the Beatles, which instrument should who play. Of course because it's a poll, it is a bit limited on how we will go about doing it." Remus told them.

"We enjoy how amazing everyone is and continue to getting great post and we find many of them to be very entertaining." Sirius yawned again.

"Wait….gifts!" James held up his box. "We get to open them now!"

"Oh, right. What have you got James?" Remus asked.

James smiled with excitement, setting his box down on the table to unwrap it. "Syd got me…." James frowned and quickly leaped from his chair. "She's a nasty witch!"

Remus and Sirius quickly pulled out their wands and Peter slowly leaned over the table to peer into the small box. "Snails. She got him snails."

"Armoured slugs are what they bleeding are!" James repeatedly wiped his hands on his trousers.

"James doesn't like slug looking type things. He thinks they are planning to take over the world." Peter explained.

"The note attach says, 'I sent you your own snail army.'" Sirius grinned.

"I don't want them!" James backed himself in a corner. "Send them back. She's probably out to get me!"

"James, that's not nice…" Peter told him as he picked up a little snail and walked closer to James. "Look at him and his cute little shell."

"Get it the bloody hell away from me or I'll hex you!" James backed away from Peter but held up his wand.

"Pete, leave James alone before he wets himself." Remus smirked. "What did Syd get you?"

"Syd got me a…." Peter took a plush pillow out of the wrappers. "Wow, a pillow!"

"Why does he get a pillow and I get snot bugs?" James whined.

"Guess she likes me better." Peter puffed his pillow up, and then placed it on the table to rest his head.

"Let me see what I got…." Sirius ripped his packages open and held it up for everyone to see. "Dog Fancy?"

"Har-har!" James roared, "Maybe centre fold is a little Chihuahua!"

"Shut up." Sirius frowned. "The note indicates that I will receive these as a monthly subscription and this month is all about poodles."

"You get one everyone month?" James grinned, already enjoying the future teasing.

"Thanks Syd. Now James will be harassing me on a monthly basis." Sirius glared at his friend.

"I got a pillow." Peter smiled brightly. "A lovely pillow."

"I suppose it is my turn, though I'm kind of nervous." Remus slowly unwrapped his gift. "Oh. A colour book."

"Can I have it?" James asked. "I'll give you the sluggish army."

"I'll trade you every issue of Dog Fancy for it, mate." Sirius held up a poodle photo page. "Every month."

"Um…" Remus wrinkled his nose at his friends' gift. "I think each of those presents is very nice but I think I should like to keep this one."

Suddenly Peter's head snapped up as the pillow bucked under his head. "Ouch….ouch….bloo…ouch!" Peter slid his chair away from the pillow as it started to twist about.

"Is it in pain?" James asked.

"It's a pillow." Sirius told him.

"The note says it's a dancing pillow." Remus read the little note tucked beneath the torn wrapping paper.

"Why does he get the dance pillow?" James whined again.

* * *

A/N: For those who are interested in time travel stories there is a very interesting fanfiction story titled 'And the Dead Shall Rise' by AshNox. This story is about how Remus uses the Time Turner to save Sirius life. Sirius in return saves James. Though James would like to save Lily's there is consequences that he may not want to change.

For actual books, there is a brilliant book written by an American author…I think dean Knootz or something similar to that. He wrote a book called 'Lighting' ages ago. A person in the past has travelled to the future for Hitler. This person falls in love with a woman there and decides to do his best to make her life easier by keeping her safe though out her younger life and for this, she believes for a while he is her Guardian Angel.

Finally, again I apologize for the delay. My lessons are quite over burden me but sure to lighten soon.


	21. Chapter 21

Peter quietly opened the door just enough to poke his head through. He looked right. He looked left. Satisfied that no one of authorizes were lingering within the room, Peter crept forwards to the beds of his friends.

"Wormmy!" Sirius, propped up with pillows, waved him over to his bed.

"Shh….she wheel be ack." James muttered quite miserably to Sirius from his own bed next to his friend's bed. James lay on his stomach with his head shoved under a few pillows. His glasses were on the table stand next to his bed, balancing off the edge, tittering back and forth ready to tumble onto the floor.

"I can't help but get excited," Sirius barked. "I've been shut up in this room for nearly twenty-four hours! I am bored and you aren't showing much improvement!"

Having reached their beds, Peter carefully set James' glasses more security on the table. "Alright, Remus?"

"No. I am gravely disappointed." Remus groaned, holding his stomach. "Apparently Sirius was right. Too much chocolate isn't really that good for you. You, Peter are welcome to my chocolate if I die. Only if I die, though."

"Bloody right I am!" Sirius threw a pillow over James' limp body towards Remus. "I told you not to eat them all. What if they were all polluted with that nasty Amortentia? I will tell you what. You would be declaring your love to half of Hogwarts' population- that would be what you would be doing."

"He did." Peter told him. "Right after Charms."

"James told me to help myself to his own." Remus pouted casting a look over at James.

"Nut all in un ay." James groaned.

"Come again?" Remus asked.

"NUT ALL IN UN AY!" James repeated.

"Not all in one day." Peter translated.

"How can you stay alive under those pillows, mate?" Sirius looked over at James. "I know your head needs more oxygen than most."

"Ut up." James croaked.

"Maybe I should get Madame Pomfrey?" Peter sat gently down on James' bed. He put his hand on James' back, softly patting the boy. "Do you want me to do that?"

"Ah want mummsy." James' muttered. "She wheel ake me etter."

"Probably not a good idea, mate." Sirius frowned. "Don't want your parents catching your illness. Maybe next time we say 'Only idiots go out to play in this kind of weather', you won't prove us right."

"Ah ate yew!" James finally emerged from his nest of pillows, blinking back the bright lights. His cheeks were a bit pinkish from a fever but other than that, he seemed fine. He did not sound fine. He squinted over at Remus, who was taken another swig of his stomach tonic, as instructed by the nurse. James wrinkled his nose while Remus gagged over the medicine.

"You wish you could hate me." Sirius told James, which also gave him back the boy's attention. "Cold hard fact is that you love me."

"Nu-uh." James shook his head. "Ah ate yew!"

"When I get out of here, I'm never touching chocolate again." Remus grumbled as he settled back into the folds of the pillows.

"How's the leg?" Peter nodded towards Sirius broken leg. "Marlene feels pretty nasty about it."

"And she should! What did she expect would happen once I stop falling?" Sirius barked and sadly looked at his leg. "Unfortunately it is healing. I was hoping I could use those muggle crutches."

"I don't believe she would have pushed you down those stair cases if you didn't ask Joan on a date right after asking her on one." Peter shrugged. "Not after she already agreed to go on it, I mean."

"I asked Marlene for Saturday. Joan was for Friday." Sirius looked at the others for their understanding but Remus rolled his eyes. James squinted. Peter looked confused.

"Tiz iz why ah dun ache aiding vice foam yew." James pointed out.

Sirius shook his head slowly. "You should take some of your syrup, Prongs. Madame Pomfrey told you to take every four hours. That was yesterday and the dose she gave you went into the flower pot as soon as she turned her back. You sound worse than before you came in here."

"No!" James shook his head. "Ek maids me eel."

"I know you lot are under the weather but I thought we could do the Broadcasting here." Peter showed the group the radio.

"Aye. I'm bored and that might livin' me up." Sirius agreed.

"Great." Peter busied himself with the equipment while the sickly adjusted themselves more comfortable. Sirius put another pillow behind his back and one under his injured knee. Remus slightly elevated himself up with a few pillows as well but kept one tightly pressed against this stomach. James went back to the nest of pillows but after getting the system set up, Peter pulled the pillows away and put his glasses on.

"Give me the first note, would you Pete?" Sirius reached out to take a parchment from Peter. "Our first letter is from, FamousNoOne. We should really start handing out prizes for the first owl post that finds its way to us. She ask 'What's the worst pickup line you've ever used or had used on you? The best?' "

"There is a library pick up line, 'I came here to check you out,' that is over used." Remus mentioned. "Or, 'Do you want to study each other?'"

"Only used by perfects and Ravenclaws." Sirius added. "I have used, 'Do you want to tongue wrestle?' and one of my favourites, 'Let me cover you in Blackness while my eyes be your stars.' Being my name is after a star and black. Um…well this one got me slapped, 'Love how you dress your sweater puppies.'"

"Ah go or the ill. 'Evaths do yew want to go uth?' and 'Whey the body yell nut?'" James shrugged sadly.

Sirius blinked at James for a moment.

Remus shook his head.

"He says that he goes for the kill, 'Evans do you want to go out with me' and 'Why the bloody hell not?'" Peter translated.

"Prongs." Sirius threw a pillow over at the other boy. "Take your blasted tonic. No one can take you seriously if they cannot understand you!"

"Its walful!" James croaked, rubbing his throat.

"Wormtail," Remus looked at his friend seriously. "You know what you have to do."

"Aw man." Peter pouted. "What can't you?"

"I have a belly ache." Remus whimpered.

"I've got a busted leg." Sirius pointed down to his leg. "Go on. Do it."

"Wat?" James asked looking back and forth to his friends. "Dew wat?"

"Sorry, mate." Peter reached for James' tonic, jumped on top of him and while James was protesting, pulling Peter's hair in attempt to keep the boy away from him, Peter poured the liquid down his throat and quickly backed away from him while he sputtered what he could out. It was quickest Peter ever had been in his life. He was breathing quite rapidly from the exercise. At least that Sirius was hoping it was from the exercise, sometimes he wondered.

James sputtered and pulled faces while he reached for his pumpkin juice to wash the bitterness away. "Ah elly ate yew!" He started scrapping his tongue with his sleeve.

"Give him a moment and he probably will start talking more sensible, at least until the medicine wears off." Remus told Peter.

"Back to the pick-up line question. James had a good one on Valentine's Day," Sirius smiled proudly at James, who was now gagging from the medical assault. "He asked Evans that if he were to ask her out to Hogsmeade, would her answer be the same as the answer to the question that he was asking.'"

"She walked away a bit perplexed and amused." Remus grinned. "I think he might be wearing her down."

"Or causing her to go insane." Peter grinned mischievously. He suddenly turned towards a door on the other side of the room. The doorknob slowly twisted. "Madam Pomfrey!" Peter squeaked. He reached for the airing equipment and dived under James' bed.

"What is going on out here?" The nurse put both hands on her hips as she looked at her three patients.

In union, Remus and Sirius pointed to the middle bed – to James.

James, like a deer, froze in the light of the situation while he was in mid action of rubbing his tongue once more with his sleeve.

"You poor dear." Madame Pomfrey tisked as she went to her cupboard. "Scratchy throat, no doubt." She took out a blue bottle and approached James' with a large spoon in another hand. "I know the thing you need." She put the spoon at James' lips. "Open up."

James shook his head feverishly.

"Merlin sake, child." Pomfrey scolded him. "You do want to get better, don't you?"

James nodded his head as he did want to feel better.

"Well do as I say and open up." The nurse persisted.

James shook his head again.

Remus looked away, a grin forming on his face. Better James than himself, after all.

Sirius just grinned on, watching with interest. "Oi. You can't expect to play Quidditch in your state, mate."

"Sirius is quite right, dear." Pomfrey agreed. "You need to get your strength back if you wish to continue to play and you won't be leaving the Hospital Ward until you do."

James reluctantly opened his mouth to take the spoonful of potion while shooting death darts at Sirius.

"Here comes the snitch…" Sirius said as James took the tonic. "Good boy, James. Yes you are!"

"Here we go, Mr Black." Pomfrey took out another spoon and the medicine sitting beside Sirius bed. "Time for your medicine as well."

James smirked, watching now as Sirius took his tonic and gagged.

"Remus?" Pomfrey looked over at Remus.

"I took mine, Madam Pomfrey." Remus held up his own tonic. "Every four hours as you prescribed."

"You are a good boy, Remus." Pomfrey patted his arm gently as she passed by him.

James and Sirius rolled their eyes.

On hearing the nurse exist, Peter came out of hiding. He pulled himself back up on James' bed, looking at the two boys gravely. "Sorry about that."

"Best if we continue before she comes back." Remus urged Peter.

"Right. Pick- up lines, well I suppose you can decide which is worst. Quidditch team over use 'Let me sweep you off your feet.' Oh, Moaning Myrtle tells James' to 'just flush' if he ever needs her help.'" Peter pulled out the next parchment. "From Luna who does not wish James to give her a horrible name…it's the reason we get to call her Luna."

James snorted in protest.

"She asks Remus, saying as he is the most sensible of the lot," Peter read.

"But not saying the most sensible out of all of Hogwarts." Sirius reminded him.

Remus stuck his tongue out for Sirius to see.

"Clearly not the most matured among us either." Sirius added.

"Right." Peter agreed. "So Luna would like to know what your favourite muggle science study might be, Remus."

"Ah, well that's a bit hard. Wizards and Witches do not have the same study lessons. Which makes sense considering most of the muggle population does not believe in magic. I am fascinated with their biology, however. Their views on plants and animal life are amusing at best."

"Sirius…um." Peter scratched his head. "It will be good to remember that I am only the massager. Luna would like to know what it feels like to be named after a ball of gas."

"Considering that everyone must look up to see that ball of gas and admire its beauty, I have to say that I find it to be quite satisfying." Sirius grinned arrogantly.

"James." Peter looked over at the owner of the bed which he sat upon.

"Wat?" James asked looking quite as ill as he was feeling.

"If slugs were to come to power and rule the world, would you tell everyone 'I told you so?'?" Peter asked.

"Wike a recore stuck on a weedle." James answered honestly.

"Maybe if you blew that snot out of your nose, we could understand you?" Sirius threw some tissues at Prongs.

"Bithe me!" James reached over to the table that stood beside his bed and that of Remus. He picked up a book to toss it over at his friend.

"Oi!" Remus called out, taking the book from James and putting it under his pillow. "Leave my books out of it!"

"James said, he would like a record stuck on a needle," Peter translated. "Then he told Sirius to bite him. Padfoot does bite so…I don't get it. My own question from Luna is what my favourite animal might be. I enjoy elephants. Grand creatures they are. Huge on size but seeming to be caring lot. They like to stick together and all. Our last question is what is our favourite book. Remus gave me this wonderful book called 'The Hobbit' that I have been involved with lately."

Remus beamed over at Peter with pride.

"Yew wook wike a wobbit." James said with a sniffle.

"I'm not sure if I am offended," Peter thought it over for a moment as the others waited. "They are quite remarkable characters and go on all kinds of adventures. I don't think a hobbit would be a bad thing at all."

"You're not that far off. You got the height and hairy feet down on your own. We go on adventures most nights." Sirius shrugged. "I suppose you are right. Best admit the obvious. You're a hobbit. Or a wobbit."

"Ut up!" James tossed a pillow over at Sirius.

"I don't want your bloody germ infested pillow." Sirius tossed it back to him.

"I am currently reading an interesting novel called, 'House Rules' which is penned by Jodi Picoult," Remus answered. "It is a current favourite but my interest change with every book I read so I cannot pin point the all-time favourite of mine."

"I got nothing." Sirius moved his leg slightly, wincing with a slight pain.

"Wuiddish Famous Atheelse." James answered.

"I don't know. Something to do with Quidditch." Peter shrugged.

"I got the next question." Remus reached over as Peter leaned over James to hand him the letter. "This one is from, Syd."

"Syd's is amusing." Sirius grinned. "I do love to be amused."

"Well Syd tells us that the snails are enchanted to do as James says and answer him with 'Yes Master." Remus told the group.

"Ah afe Houzezz Eafs." James muttered. "Ah don't wike slugs wiz or wizout houzezz on their acks."

"Something about House Elves and slugs." Peter waved his hand at James, dismissing his words.

"Merlins!" Remus looked at Peter. "Syd sent a package along with the note. Where is it?"

"Oh, it was addressed to James so I gave to him when the letter arrived." Peter told him. "Why?"

"Syd thought it would be funny to give James responsibility. She gave him a bottle with one wish in it! He can't handle something like that!" Remus cried.

"Ah can doo!" James pouted.

"He'd wish a date with Lily." Peter shrugged.

"Or have a giant decide that Snape would make a good life companion with in its cave." Sirius stated.

"That is what worries me." Remus admitted.

"Did you use that wish?" Sirius asked.

"Yez." James nodded his head. "Wiz for Wuiddish nez Wuidditch gearz."

"We have nothing to fear." Sirius grinned. "He's like a child blowing out a birthday candle."

"Am snot!" James argued.

"Syd also send us these." Remus nodded to some rocks Peter was handing out. "They are some kind of pets, she said. I'm not sure. I think these are Lapides Creatura. Muggles believe they are fake pets made out of stone. Again, it is amusing how little they know."

"Don't these things turn into boulders?" Sirius asked. "What do I do with a boulder? I've got no room in my trunk."

"Hose thez at the Zlyterinzz rum the highest tower of Hogzwurtz." James gave his friends a devilish grin.

"He really needs to be medicated with a higher dosage." Peter shook his head at James with pity.

"Wat?" James asked.

"Next time he decides to go out in a winter down pour, maybe we should just hex him." Remus planned.

"Oh can I do it!" Sirius bounce in his bed once before pain reminded him that he was healing. "Ow….I do believe that I may need James' mummy now." Sirius rubbed his injured leg.

"Ah ate yew. Av ov yew!" James pulled the covers over his head.

"You keep hollering about, Pomfrey will come back." Peter whispered to him as he was speaking to a four year old. "You'll get another dose."

"Ah ate yew ew." James whispered.

"Aw, you don't mean that Prongs." Peter patted his head whilst still under the blankets.

"We will probably need to hand our new pets over to Hagrid. We simple do not have the amount of time it takes for them nor the space. Still it will be nice to see them turn into boulders one day." Remus grinned looking very interested in his pet rock. "Cheerful fellow, isn't he? Or her? I'm not sure how to tell."

"I haven't got a clue either." Sirius petted the smooth top of his own rock.

"Syd next question is what our favourite oxymoron is as she favours organised chaos." Remus read.

"That feels like my life with the Marauders." Peter whispered. "Um…I see this on a lot of labelled foods and I find it to be a bit amusing. 'All natural artificial flavour'.''

"Awful pretty." Sirius gave his friends a toothy smile. "Still haven't figured that one out."

"Open relationship." Remus added. "Don't see how you can be in a relationship while seeing other people."

"Dez Fezlingzz." James muttered from his hiding place.

"Dead feelings, he says." Peter told them.

"How is it that you can understand him?" Remus stared in wonder at Peter.

"Oh I've got a seven year old cousin who is missing his front teeth from falling out of a tree while trying to catch a tail end of broom zooming pass." Peter informed him. "They sound pretty much the same."

"We aren't going to let James' read any notes, are we?" Sirius asked his friends. They all turned to look at the head under the blankets. James saluted them with two fingers. "Yeah that was what I was thinking too. So this next owl is from Neko who goes to send thanks to Remus because he ruined a wonderful prank as she found a bottle of Essene of Rattus among her property. I guess owls won't attack her any longer. She also thanks you for apologising in James' behalf though she did find him to be amusing. That's our Prongs. Amusing. She asks if we will attend the Valentines Party that Huffles invited us to, which we did. I'm sorry we did not send a RSVP. We attend to believe people will assume that we will be there. Naturally the party was great though not many students were able to stand before it ended and not many attended lessons on time the next day.

Ah, we have ourselves a very good question," Sirius continued. "Neko ask of us, 'Do you think the sorting hat can make a mistake while sorting? And how was your experience with the hat? I remember I had a little chat with the hat, it asked me if I was Ok with any house and I agreed, after that it stayed in an awkward silence and finally it sorted me into the house I belong."

"No." James said from under his blanket. "Ah aid no conzeration wiz die at. It put me iz Gizzfindorez beezcore iz touffed aye heed."

"He said no, that he hadn't a conversation with the hat and it put him in Gryffindor as soon as it touched his head." Peter told them. "I had a bit of problems with it, I wasn't sure if it would put me anywhere at all. For a brief moment I was almost a Hufflepuff but it said that sometimes courage is within fear so I landed in with this lot. Best thing happen to me so I don't think the sorting hat messes up."

"It said I could do great things in the Slytherins House but said that I had more of Gryffindor spunk so I got placed among a new family." Sirius grinned happily. "I haven't a regret. I feel I would be a different person if it said Slytherins. As if it makes mistakes, I don't think that either. I think that there are people whom fall on the line and they have a say between the narrowed choices. I also believe that people change and we are never that eleven year old again so if they were to do a sorting every year to every student, they may find different houses."

"Said well, mate." Remus agreed. "A bit of debate of Ravenclaws and Gryffindor for myself it was but in the end, I think the hat knew that I wanted friends and they would come from the Gryffindor House. I'm glad of it."

"Meez ewww." James said.

"Neko did warn us about the Amortentia Ambush and we were able to avoid most of that horrible chaos." Sirius looked over at Remus who's face suddenly turned red. "Though SOMEONE ended up in Pomfrey's care before the end of the day because the temptation was too much."

"I thought one bite wouldn't hurt." Remus whispered feeling a bit ashamed.

"You ate the entire box full of chocolates! Without pausing for air." Sirius laughed.

"I couldn't help it. You lot knew that and no one tried to stop me." Remus hugged the pillow closer to him. "I thought that just one bite…"

Suddenly James' whipped the covers from his head and turned his fury eyes on Remus. "Ah diz eze! Ah saz topid Remase endz ah reazed foz yewrd chocolazes endzates and yewre grozlez endz sap mez. Ah fearez ay mez fingrrz! Iz ame doze yoewl aven' igits yoewl paz Wuiddish or yew, ate! Ah ate chozin."

Remus did try to keep a straight face but Sirius started to grin first and in union they both burst out laughing. "I know he's all mad but I cannot take his ranting! It's hurting my stomach!"

James growled and went back under the blankets.

"Stop laughing at him and your stomach will settle." Peter scolded Remus. "He said that he did try. He said 'stop it Remus' and he tried to reach for your chocolates and you growled and snapped at him. He feared for his fingers. He couldn't play Quidditch without digits so he had to pick between you or his sport. He hates do choose…and you lost, in case you didn't know it."

Remus wiped the tears from his eyes. "Um…well our next note is from Josh who apologies for the large letters in the previous bit. It's quite hot where he is at and exams are coming up."

"We feel the pain, mate." Sirius nodded his head solemnly.

"First question, you can answer it Sirius. How would he tell a classmate that he shouldn't be flirting with fourth year girls when they are eighth years? Fourth years are nine and they are fourteen are before the end of the year."

"I think starting out with 'Don't be messing with the kids, weirdo' would be a great way," Sirius informed. "One day he will be twenty four and this girl will be nineteen and it won't seem to be a different. At the current age there is a huge maturity difference and he should really look to girls closer to his own age."

"Next question from Josh is, do wizards have a primary school system. What do they do before Hogwarts, just hang out at home, or go to a Muggle school?" Remus read. "It depends on their way of life. If the child is born into a pure blood family than it is most likely they have a private professor, which cost a great deal, like James' and Sirius had or be taught by their parents as Peter and I were taught. If the child is born with one muggle parent and another one of magic, the parent could go either way. Sending the child off to school as any muggle family would or have the child schooled at home. Naturally if the child is from a pure muggle family, he or she would be sent to school as all muggle children."

"Last question from Josh is for Sirius. Josh would like to know if raising a pineapple army ever crossed your mind and that he…" Remus was cut off as James poked his head out again.

"Brealant! Wheeze can harm pineipiples to halk tum todents!" James cried.

"He says it's brilliant. Charming pineapples to stalk students." Peter said at once when Remus and Sirius looked at him for translation.

"Oi. Didn't I say not to give prank ideas?" Remus puffed.

"James is right…well he might be." Sirius blinked over at James.

"You can't be serious?" Remus pointed in James' direction. "He's got enough medication poured in him that would make a hippogriff drunk."

"Aay." James frowned at Remus. "Ah nut dunk. Ames ick."

"He sai-" Peter stared.

"I know what he said." Remus told him. "We are not charming pineapples."

"Yeah. Pumpkins would be better. We can put faces on them." Sirius thought out loud and James nodded his head in agreement.

"Josh has given us our own toothbrushes." Remus told them, deciding the change of topic was best. "They sing and it is advice not to use them as it will cause insanity."

"What's a little insanity among men?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah he hinted that there are insane people among our group already." Remus put his tooth brush aside but James had his singing already and battling Peter's own tooth brush, mimicking a swordfight.

"Our next question is from a Katherine." Peter told his friends.

"Welzum, Karthenrine. Ah wike her aim. It'z a petty aim, nut az petty az Wiwy." James coughed on his sentence.

"James thinks your name is pretty, Katherine and he welcome you as well. Lily's name is more pretty to him but not to everyone else." Peter said as he patted James on the back to help the coughing fit pass. "Kat has a serious question. Since she was seven she has been best friends with this girl. Her friend now has a boyfriend and it seems that the friend is putting the boyfriend first instead of her friendship with Katherine. Not that Kat is saying she should be put first but to balance the relationships evenly. The guy is great and Kat is happy for them both but there seems to be a drift."

"Wow. We could use a girl about now." Sirius looked over at Remus. "Want to give it a go?"

"What are you applying?" Remus asked hotly.

"Tat yew endz the lozes tang weeze haze eew az oose." James said.

Remus raised his eyebrows at Peter.

Peter shrugged, "He pretty much called you a boob."

Remus looked back at James.

James shrugged.

Remus attacked.

"Hey!" Peter got between him. "He can't think right, you said that yourself. His mind is full of tonic!"

"He won't feel a thing than, will he?" Remus stopped strangling James once James started to cough again. "You're getting spit in my face."

"Ah ate elp it." James told him, flopping his hands to his side. "Ah wez eel."

"Back to the letter?" Peter pointed to the note in his hand.

"Unfortunately there isn't anything you can really do at this time, Kat. Only tell her that it does feel as you are drifting apart and that maybe the case. Think of your life as a book," Remus opened the very book James tried to toss at Sirius. He flipped through the pages slowly. "Not ever chapter has the same characters within the story. Sometimes the characters you start with on the first chapter won't make it to the last chapter but new faces will appear. You won't forget those other characters but the book continues. Sometimes that character just won't reappear until half way through the book. It hurts and it feels sad but maybe you are just coming to a new chapter of your life. Childhood friends are rare. Not many people have them. More don't than do. I do wish I could help you, I really do. Maybe if you two set up movie night? Just were you two can do something together? Once a month maybe?"

James sniffled. "Ah eel."

"He's blaming his sniffles on illness," Peter told them.

"Ut up," James frowned. "Ah wot kneed ah trainzator."

"He's telling me to shut up because he doesn't think he needs a translator but he does," Peter pointed his finger at James. "Because I'm the only one who bloody understands him!"

James pouted and went back under the covers.

"Aw, I'm sorry Prongs," Peter again patted his head. "But really, no one understands."

"To our next question…I wish I could help you as well Kat," Sirius added quickly. "Um…this is from our Elizabeth."

"Aye Wizbet," James said.

Peter opened his mouth but Sirius shook his head, silently ordering him not to translate. "Lizzy ask when did we stop sleeping with stuff animals."

James held up a stuff quaffle ball in the air.

"Since this is on air and no one can see, James is holding up a stuff quaffle ball," Remus grinned. "Proudly, in fact."

"Wiwy will weace wit," James said.

"Lily will replace it," Peter whispered to the others.

"Ah herd wat," James said.

"I never slept with anything that was stuffed," Sirius looked at the others.

"I fall to sleep with books," Remus held his beloved book in the air.

"I had a stuff dragon that I slept with until I was nine. It would chase my nightmares away," Peter told them. "Lizzy ask if we could apparate on school grounds, where would we go? I'm not sure. We kind of go everywhere on school grounds now."

"Wiwy worm!" James spoke out.

"Let me guess." Remus looked over at Peter, "Lily's room?"

"Dorm but it is close enough," Peter said.

"The witches' dorms does sound like a lot of naughty goodness," Sirius rubbed his chin. "There is an oxymoron for you."

"Dumbledore's office," Remus thought loudly, petting his rock as he looked forward with a gaze expression glittering in his eyes. "I'd love to find out what he did with all that chocolate he confiscated."

"What was our first word?" Peter gave Remus a quick odd look before finishing. "Also a Kat's question. Mine was da."

"voom," James said.

"Broom," Peter repeated.

"Mum." Remus answered.

"Aye, so was mine," Sirius smiled sadly.

"Our next owl message is from Barb." Remus winked over at Sirius. "Barb says that we shouldn't worry about Quidditch, she will be more than happy to take over James' position why he recovers."

The covers came back off James' head. "Ah'm sill art of duh tame. A'm just eel. No un iz aching my yut."

"Don't start hyperventilating, mate," Sirius laughed. "He's taking the mickey."

"Nut funny," James sniffled a bit more.

"Barb's true question is, 'What is the funniest prank we ever pulled on a teacher.'" Remus read.

"I still liked the scarecrow as a student prank," Peter thought. "I started like him, near the end."

"He was a crappy potion partner," Sirius sighed. "I have to say it was the 'Quack' prank. A bit of potions giving during a meal in which the drinker, being the Professors, would only hear people quack like a duck when anyone spoke to them or if they overheard another conversation. To everyone else, things seem normal. To the Professors, we quacked. Other professors quacked. Oddly enough, the ghost and pictures did not quack. The teachers could understand them fine. In a way it was amusing because the ghost and pictures told the professors that no, no one was quacking. It was they that were hearing things."

"Somehow they were able to figure out what we had done and figure out it was we that had done it," Remus grinned. "But it did cause some chaos. Oh by the way, Barb exscaped the Essene of Rattus prank."

"Oi. That's too bad for her," Sirius grinned. "As we now have someone to prank."

"Better watch out, Barb." Peter whispered.

"Lizz sent us another owl," Remus told them.

"Over achiever," Sirius snorted.

Remus glared at him. "I think it is grand. She ask a good question. 'What do you say to the possible paradox that despite the fact that OWL scores are rising at a steady rate, studies show that each generation of wizarding children is lazier and/or comparatively less motivated than the previous generation?'"

"I understood O.W.L.S but before that and after that," Peter shook his head. "She lost me."

"Is he sleeping?" Sirius nodded his head in James' direction.

"Probably," Peter looked down the still body. "Or passed out from lack of oxygen. Or died from over dosage. But you know him, it never last. He pounces back."

"Give him a poke," Remus told Peter. "Just to make sure he's alive."

"He's breathing, isn't he?" Peter pointed out. "Just not very good."

"Poke him." Sirius told him.

"He bites when people poke him, you know that." Peter turned his attention to Remus. "So the question, have you an answer because I don't."

"I have an answer," Sirius stated. "The O.W.L scores are on the raise because children are more intelligent than their parents were at that age. A parent teaches a child to a certain age, whether they do so consciously or not. Knowledge is passing down from generation to generation. That knowledge becomes bigger and bigger as each parent adds to it. The more knowledge that surrounds a child, it allows that child to be more advance than those of the past. So we are an intelligent lot, we are also lazy. Some – but not all- will not experience the hardship of their parents or grandparents and so forth had once experienced. For most, things have become more soft and cosy. We are smart enough to like it that way."

"We have a last message from, RandomFandom. We offended her by the way," Remus told them.

"We must look like a sorry bunch in her eye. We messed up with her once before," Sirius told them.

"I remember. I was afraid she would stalk me or something." Peter shivered.

Sirius grinned, "You wish you could get that lucky."

"Um…so, Random apologies for the weirdness of the question but I like it. Random ask, 'If you had to organize a party/dance-type-thing, what would the theme be?'" Remus finished reading.

"Why would anyone allow us to organise a theme party?" Sirius gave an impish grin. "It would be a great party, no doubt about it."

"I don't believe the Proffessor would agree to anything you would want to do," Remus told him.

"Wuiddish teme!" James held up his quaffle ball.

"He would want a Quidditch theme," Peter rolled his eyes. "You can't pick Quidditch, Prongs. It has got to be a different theme."

"Jugle!" James sneezed.

Sirius nodded in agreement. "Jungle would be pretty wild!"

"I think it might be nice to have fun mixed with learning," Remus glared at Sirius as he rolled his eyes. "Some people can multitask."

"Yes. Read. Be really boring. Read more. Tell us to go away," Sirius mocked. "Just go on with it."

"I was thinking that a good theme would be dressing up like a famous witch or wizard," Remus admitted.

Peter squimered on the bed a little. "Zombie theme would be nice. Some could be zombies while others be…not zombies."

"Or robe only theme. You can wear only your robe and nothing else." Sirius beamed at his own imagation.

"Ah wike thad." James pushed the covers away from his face. "Tiz shud be ah poll wetsion."

"Yeah, this should be a poll question," Remus agreed. "Our poll this week will be for you to select a party theme out of the choices."

"Ah dye ying." James sniffled… pathetically.

"I should leave you lot to rest up." Peter gathered his stuff. "Oh, Lily did ask about you James."

"Shid did!" James' smiled.

"Yeah. I told her you would be fine in a few days. Just a cold and nothing to worry about." Peter grinned.

"Twad!" James frowned.

"B-but you are fine." Peter told him. "You said yourself that you'll be out by tomorrow."

"He said that three days ago, Peter." Sirius told him. "You should have led her to believe he was dying or something."

"I'll be out before either of you." Remus told them. "I'll tell her that Padfoot is depressing you and you'll need some cheering up."

"Tank yew." James mumbled.

"Well…best get going." Peter headed for the door but before he could escape, he started sneezing loudly.

"Yew eel!" James pointed at him.

"No, it's just a-a-," Peter sneezed again and like a magnet to steel, Pomfrey was at his side shuffling him to one of the open beds. How she appeared so suddenly was lost on the boys.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for the great questions. Sorry if James' got a bit annoying. I wanted to try out a cold. :) I might do a hat sorting for them...on a different story. It's a great question.


	22. Chapter 22

Remus sighed with relaxation. It was a rare day. Today promised to be a quiet day, that is the rarity. He lay upon his bed with pillows packed behind him enjoying a wonderful novel. Sirius was penning a letter to James' parents, probably declaring his adoration. How he loves to hear from them, their letters meant the world to him as he no longer receive any from his own home.

James sat upon his bed sitting cross-legged and hunched over to write on the parchment he had on top of a book. He carefully balanced his ink well on his knee while doing his homework, even though he had an extra day to do so but his free time would be used up in trying to charm Lily, detention for 'Waddiwasi' a spit ball up Snape's nose, prank particularizing and practice.

"We've got mail!" Peter blurted as he plunged into the dorm, collapsing on James' bed. This caused James' quill to move at the wrong angle and his well to spill over, hence ruining his five minute work.

"Arse!" James barked as he held up his lesson page for all to see the damage.

"Sorry, Prongs." Wormtail whimpered. He fretted over James' work as he tried to blot the ink. He hated when his idol became vexed with him. "Sorry. Really, I am truly sorry."

Sirius frowned at Pete for all his pathetic earnestness.

James was getting more annoyed with Peter as he pawed at James' lesson that he simply pushed Peter's face away from him, causing the boy to tumble backwards and onto the floor. "Bugger off, would you? I got a spell for it."

"I was just trying to help," Peter stood up and started to wring his fingers as he watched James clean his assignment with a simple spell.

"Did you see the bloody good it done? None at all, did it now?" James asked him with a frown.

"N-no," Peter shook his head.

James glared at Peter. "Is this to be the structure of your life, Peter? To become a grovelling idiot? You should receive high marks if it was a lesson. But it isn't. How fortunate for you, it appears to come natural to you."

"Said I was sorry, didn't I?" Peter whined.

Sirius now looked amused with a wide grin on his face. He didn't mind when James became cross with Peter. It didn't happen much as James was very tolerant with the lad but when he was, Sirius enjoyed the show.

"Is this for our broadcast?" Remus decided to stop Peter's torment. He had caught Sirius' smile and it made him sick. Sirius was mad as they came and Remus knew all about madness and that was the smile it wore. Though James seemed upset, they all knew it only lasted a few minutes. James was naturally a cheerful person and could never stay angry for long, unless it was with a certain Slytherin.

"Y-yeah," Peter walked over to Remus bed to hand him the stack of parchment. Gingerly, he sat down on Remus' bed, casting a hurtful look over at James.

"Sitting there to lick your wounds, are you?" Sirius asked Peter.

"Shut –up." Peter whispered but casted his eyes down at his hands.

James caught Peter's look and rolled his eyes. "Apology accepted, do you feel better now?"

Peter ignored him, though it was hard. James was his temptation. It was an unhealthy adoration, Remus thought. Very unhealthy and it seemed that James was very oblivious of it.

"How many letters do we have?" James asked Remus.

"About six, I see." Remus answered but gave Peter a reassuring smile.

"Not many but it seems it doesn't make a different," Sirius said from his spot on his own bed. "As I think we didn't get a lot so it would be a quick broadcast event, but it never is. We ramble way too much."

"Too true." Remus agreed. "Shall I read the first one?"

"Unless you want to toss it over here, as I am not getting up." Sirius told him. "I think my leg fell asleep on me."

"Peter, care to bring me a few? Please." James told the other boy who practically wagged his bum now that James was speaking kindly to him.

"Aw, what a good boy you are." Sirius sneered as Peter skipped over to James to give him a few letters.

Peter glared at Sirius as he made his way back to Remus' bed to be comforted.

"We have got a letter from Syd. I do enjoy her letters to us. Such an extraordinary person, don't you think?" Remus asked his friends. "A lot of passion involved in her notes."

"You are mistaken, my furry friend." Sirius grinned, "Tis not passion but madness."

"I was going for nice," Remus remarked.

"I was going for honestly," Sirius replied.

"What has she to say?" James asked as he looked over his lessons.

"She writes, 'Now now little Jamesy…'" Remus started to read.

"Little Jamesy?" James' brows shot up. "Am I little now?"

"You sleep with a stuff quaffle ball." Sirius pointed out.

"Didn't ask you." James pointed back.

"May I continue?" Remus looked at the two boys who replied with a shrug. "As I was, 'Now. Now little Jamsey, have you not thought of the possible pranks these snails could pull off? Think of the possibilities! Set them off on Snape or the teachers, or even use them as a distraction while you pull off the prank!

"Anyways, I would like to point out that chocolate is the holy food, and Remus is now exempt from all scolding.'" Remus grinned in humour. "'You wouldn't happen to have any other candy to share with me as anyone who gives me candy is obviously kind enough to be exempt from scolding also'... err, it appears she coughs on the parchment." Remus wiped his hands subconsciously on the legs of his trousers. "'She will need candy or she shall die and we will go down with her'…err…she coughs once again."

"Perhaps she has a cold?" James said.

"Why would we 'go down' with her? What exactly is she implying? Why could we not go up?" Sirius asked.

"Syd goes to say that 'Valentine's Day was pretty 'sucky'. As she only received a few smarties and a Kit Kat', which are a type of muggle treat. For this, she has become generous as she is giving us each a box of truffles and that is with assumption that she has not eaten them all." Remus went on.

"Ooohhh…" Sirius got off his bed, forgetting about the lazy leg. Truffles can do that. "I love truffles. She should have sent some muggle treats as well. I would love to trade with her."

"Toss mine!" James raised his hand to catch the box Sirius pitched to him. "We thank you, Syd and shall send you a surprise in return. Not to ruin the surprise but it is about five eight, crooked nose and greasy hair."

"We are not sending Snape to Syd," Remus told him.

"And why not?" James asked very seriously.

"It is against the school rules," Remus shrugged.

"No it isn't." James shook his head. "There are no rules that state a student may not post another student away."

"Well Syd won't want him, will she?" Remus tried again.

"Probably not but it wasn't as I wanted the slugs, was it?" James wasn't going to back down. He was pretty sure his owl could possibly lift Snape off the ground. Yes, Syd would be getting the greasy git soon enough. "As for the slugs, no. It is a policy of mine. This is a Marauders' den and no slugs are allowed."

"I can't see them being a much of a distraction unless we let them go four months in advance." Sirius added.

"Still we should send her come chocolates, shouldn't we?" Peter asked his friends.

"Other than the truffles she has sent, I have none to spare." Remus told him.

"Weeellll what about the stash you keep in your trunk, left side corner?" Peter blinked.

"You know about that?" Remus eyes widen.

"I had the liberty of searching your trunk while you were out," James explained. "Just before the Christmas Holiday. I needed to know what you didn't have so I could purchase."

Sirius looked at Remus' trunk at the end of the werewolves bed and then his own. "Did you search everyone's trunk, Prongs?"

"Naturally," James said.  
"Well you shouldn't. Boundaries, James. We spoke about this." Sirius told him.

"Now for Syd's question," Remus said as soon as each Marauder had his candy box in their hand. "The question is, 'If you were to be killed in two days' time, what would you do before you die? Since you're going to die, unforgivable curses are allowed."

"The curses are allowed but are we to know that we are to die in two days? If we know, do we know the reason for our untimely death?" Sirius asked. "It makes considerable difference. If I were to die from someone's hand and not by the nature of my life, I should like to perform an Unforgivable curse on the very person who wishes me death and hence not dying at all. Yet, if unknowing and by nature I go to death, I don't think I would do an unforgivable curse as I wouldn't know I was die. Yet if I was to die due to natural illness and yet I was aware that I was going to die – I would have a very large knock off list, I assure you."

"I think I would not do a curse as to go with a clear conscious," Remus answered. "What would I do then? I would spend it with friends and family and do so without telling them. I would enjoy the last moments of my life that way."

"Snog Evans," James answered. "And have a huge party with fireworks! Millions of them to light up the whole sky. I would like to fly far above them and look down as they explode. That is what I would like."

"I don't know what I would do," Peter said quietly but shook his head. "No. I know. I would say my peace. Everyone that bullied me, I'd give them a good hex and tell them how I really feel."

"Why not do that now?" James asked.

"Compare me to yourself, Prongs or to any other Marauder." Peter told him. "I don't have your quick reflex or humour. I don't have Sirius' witty sarcasm and madness; I don't have Remus' sensibility to talk myself out of trouble or not to get involved at all. I'm just Peter when I am without you lot. A short, chubby kid that's kind of slow. That isn't much to go on."

"There is more to you then you think," James gave him disapproval stare. "Perhaps you should learn about yourself before death finds you."

"On to another letter..," Remus picked up the next. "This is from SiriusJpotter."

"That is a very odd name. It seems like you lumped my name with James'. It looks…, what is the word I am looking for Prongs?" Sirius snapped his fingers.

"Wrong?" James guessed.

"Yes, that is it. Wrong." Sirius agreed. "I am a Black and not a Potter. Though, I must say that I do prefer his family over my own but Sirius Black has the right flow, does it not?"

"Doesn't matter," Remus told them. "What –"

"Oh it matters, Moony. It indeed matters. We cannot go about calling this person 'Sirius' as Sirius is right in this very room. Do you know how confusing it will be?" James asked. "This person is in need of a new name."

"I think we can work it out so it wouldn't be too confusing for our listeners." Remus looked down at the note.

"SiriusJPotter shall now be name, Danenpersama." James told the group.

"Don't be surprise if you get slugs next time, mate." Sirius grinned.

"Fine. Danenpersama ask me if it would be wrong to blackmail someone with something you know they want? She, well I think it is a she goes to say that she cannot help that she loves him and is wondering if I will forgive her and if we can be friends." Remus read. He paused to let the question sink in. "I am a bit worried to answer this as there is a lot missing but I am to know later. That frightens me, I must admit. However, I think if the blackmail is for a positive situation it should be considered yet if it were to be quite nasty to the person than it is wrong."

"Moony," James look over at him. "Will you be Danenpersama's friend?"

"I have no reason not to be friends and I do enjoy making friends." Remus answered. "So I do not see a problem with it. Danen…bloody hell, I'm just calling her Dania. She addresses Pete next."

"Oh joy." Peter braced himself.

"Dania would like to know if you would mind hanging out with me for a while as James and Sirius would not be in our company." Remus asked the round Marauder.

"I wouldn't mind at all," Peter answered truly. "Moony and I spend time without James and Sirius many times before. It would hardly be the first time nor the last, I suppose."

"Diana directs Sirius now. She ask if you would stop sleeping with every girl in school and go out with just her? She has her reasons as she is 'hot' has wondrous soft hair, a Hufflepuff and muggle born, which are things your mother disapproves. She is willing to take on your friends if you date her and will throw in shutting up James in the bargain."

"What? Me?" James pointed at himself. "Why should I shut up?"

"If someone would shut James' up, who would I have to talk to? When I blunder something up, James is sure to tell me so. Who else would do that and I not hex them?" Sirius asked. "Don't get me wrong, sometimes I like to put a silent charm on him but conversations are quite nice."

"I think I will thank you only partly," James told him.

"Mother disapproves of Muggle Born Gryffindor more than Hufflepuffs but Evans has been spoken for." Sirius winked over at James. "And you do sound very lovely but to give up many for one…."

"Well let me read the question directed to James," Remus said. "She says to James' about how she agreed to hang out with her friend, Lily."

"My Lily?" James caught the name and his attention was clearly there.

"Let me go on?" Remus raised his brows at James, "She says they are to 'hang out' this weekend and Diana would be interested if Sirius would accompany her and her friend. If Sirius does agree to this date then Lily, who owes Diana a favour and has agreed to a double date. Diana and Sirius and you and Evans but that would be if Sirius would agree to the date and would like to see her. If you agree to help Diana catch Sirius, she in return will help you snag Evans."

"Sorry, mate." James pointed his wand at Sirius.

"Wait!" Remus held up his hand. "Don't jinx him until the broadcast is over."

"You would do that to me?" Sirius asked.

"Yes." James nodded his head with all seriousness. "I would without a moment of hesitation. It wouldn't be as if it would harm you. I wouldn't do that to you but merely a date and maybe if you don't be your normal cade-self, you might get a snog out of it. You will be going on that date so I can go on my date. Diana, we shall be there but best post the date and time."

"Er…I don't like that glint in your eye, Prongs." Sirius frowned.

"Perhaps the next letter?" Peter pushed to direct the conversation.

"I believe I have it," James held up a letter. "This is from our lovely Mary. Oddly, she cannot recall our attendance at the Hufflepuff Valentine Party but goes to say that she remembers very little that evening. She does remember someone shouting that they are the 'Chocolate King' and all shall bow to him."

Three Marauders turned to look at Remus.

Remus opened his mouth to say something. Anything. An excuse at the very least, no matter how flimsy it may be but nothing came out.

"Yeah, I thought so." Sirius shook his head in pity.

"Another person had decided a snogging contest would be wise and another singing a Bon Jovi song titled 'I will be there for you.'" James grinned, "I believe that was your voice, Mary and you sung very well indeed. You didn't even mind that Remus and Sirius got up on the table be your backups either."

"I don't recall that." Remus frowned.

"Oh it happened." Peter ran over to his own bed, plucking a box from under his bed. He sorted through items and on finding what he had wanted, walked back over to Remus. "See. Got it in picture. That's you and you can't see Sirius very well because he is swinging his shirt over his head, but that is Sirius and Mary is singing."

"Oh boy." Remus face grew red.

"Sick Party animal," James beamed proudly at the usually meek Marauder. "Mary goes to ask us 'bout our wands. Her own is an Acacia with a Dragon Heartstring at 11 ½ inches and brittle. While receiving her wand she exploded a window, burnt a book and turned Ollivander's hair a lovely shade of glowing green until finally she receive the correct wand. She also sends us a box of chocolates for each of us! It is our lucky day, boy!"

"Oooohhh….more chocolate! How delightful." Sirius marched over to James, picking a box of chocolates.

"We shall be sending you a few items in return." Remus said, taking a bite out of a chocolate and then a truffle.

"As for the wands," James grinned. "Well, at the week we shall be telling you all about our wands and our experiences if there were any at all. We will be answering your question though."

"Our next letter is from our dear friend Josh. Remember Josh is suffering heat and academy exhaustion," Peter told his friends. "He goes to say that we did not give out the last poll results."

"I knew someone would catch that," Remus shook his head. "We are sorry about that. Being sick and all, I suppose we were not thinking. I did notice it and when I mentioned it to the others, they assured me that no one would notice. They were wrong."

"Nothing to do about it at the moment," James tossed a truffle across the room to Sirius' open mouth. "We rid ourselves of the results. We will have to repost the poll and with apologies, ask everyone to cast their votes once again."

"The question was which Marauder should play what instrument. The types of instruments were that of the Beatles," Sirius chewed on his truffle as he spoke. "So please, go back and revote so we can set this matter straight."

"Uh…oh, Josh told his classmate to leave the under students alone. Not to mess with their heads as Sirius does it enough." Peter continued.

"Oi! I do not restrict myself to just the underclass students." Sirius a half of a bite of his truffle and was about to toss the other half to James' waiting mouth.

"I will hex you if you do," James warned him.

"Josh goes on to ask James if he would try out for a good Quidditch team, such as Chudley Cannons but the only positions open are beater and a keeper, which would you pick or would you just walk away?"

"The Cannons are terrible! But you know," James looked at his friends very, very seriously. "I might have a game plan that could turn them around. Maybe all they would need is a player like me."

"There is always a losing team, mate. I think the Cannons are very comfortable with that position," Sirius pointed out.

"Nonsense. They just need a bit of luck and a lot of me on their team." James waved Sirius off.

"So," Peter looked at James. "What's your answer?"

"I am Gryffindor Chaser because I love that kind of action. It's the chase; it's the taken, its battle, the scoring, and the crowd going mad. There is no better position in my eye. But, put me in any position in that Qudditch pitch and I will play it and I will succeed that spot. If I am a beater, I'll knock a few off their brooms. Put me in the keepers ring, I won't let it pass me. So it doesn't matter where I play, it just matters that I play."

"Later in the evening we shall be inflating his head if you care to watch," Sirius stated sarcastically.

"So….well Josh now has a question for, um….well Siri-poo." Peter grinned nervously.

"Siri-poo?" Sirius stared blankly at Peter.

"You know, being called Little Jamesy isn't so bad now," James laughed. "Seriously Pooey! I like it!"

"It does have a bit of charm, doesn't it?" Remus laughed along with James.

"Josh would like to know what your most embarrassing nicknames for the Marauders are and that includes you." Peter finished.

"I think Siri-poo is pretty high on the embarrassing side." Sirius told him. "We have some pretty rough names out there. Oddly, we aren't loved by all."

"We are," James corrected him. "It's just easier to admit hate than embraces their true feelings."

"No. No, I am quite sure we are passionately hated by a few." Sirius disagreed.

"What if it is a love hate? What if people adore the fact that they hate us? We cannot category that with true hate as there is love within it." James argued.

"Besides Siri-pooh, what other name do you dislike?" Remus asked Sirius.

"There is Blackie, Bratty Blackie, Pugsley, Snuggles, Sirie, Schmoooky Boo," Sirius shrugged. "More annoying than anything, I suppose. Most embrassing names I've heard the others address is usually by their mums. Now James. Well, James has been called Rotty Potty, Jamesy, Little Jamesy…"

"New to the list," James added.

"Jimmy…"

"I am a James not a Jimmy," James declared.

"Jimmy-kins, Babykins, Pookie, And Evans' favourite, Toe-rag." Sirius grinned. "Remus on the other hand has been called Mrs Lupin, Loopy Lupin, Self proclaim King of Chocolate, Lovin Lumpkins, Pumpkins, Maddy Moony, Phooey Moony, Candy Man and then we have Peter. Pete has been called Wormy Bum, Squealing Skunk, and James' favourite, Numnums."

"I dislike it when James calls me Numnums…" Peter pouted but James grinned. "So the next question from Josh is for Remus. Josh would like to know if you prefer milk chocolate or dark chocolate?"

"How can a person answer that question! It is ridiculous! It would be as asking Sirius if he likes the instant pudding over the cooked pudding," Remus stated.

"What's this? I don't cook any pudding," Sirius blinked in confusion.

"For everyday use, Milk Chocolate gets me through but if I am in need of something a bit more….stronger, well it is dark chocolate." Remus told them.

"He takes whatever his greedy hands can get. Doesn't even look at the bloody expiring dates." James put in.

"Now the question for me is how I would like to travel across Scotland. Would I like to do so by walking or by riding a Unicorn?" Peter read. He slowly put the parchment aside. "I am a wizard, why would I walk? Yet, I'm not very fond of Unicorns either. They don't like to leave their home forest, you see. What to do? I just don't know which to pick. I guess if I had to pick one, though I would rather be on a Unicorn before walking, yet I cannot control a Unicorn so I would walk."

"Next letter is from Lizzy," James had unfolded a pink parchment. "She goes to say that she is sorry her question put me to sleep during my Hogwarts Hospital stay. No need to apologise, Lizz. I don't believe it was the question but the answers and the medication working against me. Liz's question is that her friend keeps harping on her old boyfriend- like pointing him out to everyone, and telling everyone how they used to date. She has heard the story many, many times- whenever someone mentions him or if he even walks by. She starts to rant about how much of an arse he is. It was true that he was a jerk to her, but they broke up like four years ago, and Liz think she should just let it go. Liz ask for our thoughts."

"I agree with her," Sirius said. "She should just go on with it. Maybe the best thing to do is interrupt her whenever she goes on about it or just say, "'It's been four bloody years! He's moved on and so should you.'"

"Or, 'I'm going to condemn you for idiocy if you start going about a four year old break-up.'" James added.

"Or, 'Wow you've been saying that for four years and the story still isn't interesting,'" Peter said.

"Or you ignore these twits and sit down with her. She is your friend after all. Best to tell her that it is really unhealthy for her to hold onto such fury and that she would feel better if she moved passed the relationship. It may also help her focus on future relationship, one that may be permitted if she stops looking back and turns forward." Remus answered.

"That's our Mrs Lupin," James faked a flicker of a tear drop. "Do we get a cup of tea with that? Perhaps some chocolates? We can talk about our crushes and cycles and then a big hug!"

Remus rolled his eyes at James' mocking but Sirius grinned. "Our next and last question is from Random. She goes to say that she liked my idea for a party theme but the jungle theme sounds better."

"Jungle House!" James cried.

"For the poll by the way, we had three votes," Remus mentioned. "Not many have been so we don't have a lot to discuss about it. Um…two voted for the Jungle theme and one voted for the Famous Witch/Wizard singer theme."

"Sadly no one voted for Hex Snape theme," James whispered.

"Random goes to ask us what our favourite book with series," Remus asked. "Oh um…I enjoy Terry Brooks series. There are magic people and magical swords. Neighbors who find common ground to fight the same foe. There are flying beast. Good vs Bad….a lot like my own life now that I think about it."

James gave a shrug. "I like those books as well but I'm not much of a reader. There is a series called the 'Splinter of a Broomstick' about a wizard who thought he was a squib but in fact, his magic was stolen from him…um, by a muggle thief who claimed to be a witch. He went about a few quests to get the magic back and also fell in love with a muggle that he vowed to hate. She is a very aggressive muggle. "

"I cannot say that I have a favourite series yet." Peter frowned. "I like short stories."

"I'm partial to the Stephen Kings 'Dark Tower' series. Book or comic, I am pleased with both of them." Sirius answered."

"Well, Marauders." James looked about the room. "Looks as we finished the lot. Very good questions tonight."

"We aren't finish yet. We still have to finish the answer to our Mary's question with the wand." Sirius grinned. "You shall hear all about it through this week so stay tune and enjoy."

"Yes. Well I must conclude this show. I have somewhere to be tonight." Remus started to get off his bed.

"Tonight? I don't believe we let you out this late," Sirius frowned at the wolf boy.

"Well...It is Tracy's, I mean..FamousNoone's birthday this week and besides you've got a date as well." Remus informed them. "Remember a double date with Diana and Evans."

"I'm waiting on a post to tell us the date and time," James frowned. "And why aren't we invited?"

"I bet it was an oversight," Peter stated. "She probably did want to invite us."

"No. I really think this is to be a private affair," Remus shook his head.

James glanced over at Sirius, who grinned in returned.

"Seriously, you guys are not invited." Remus frowned at their exchanged smiles. "Stop it with the faces. I know those looks. You'll get us detention whatever you plan to do and I do not wish for anyone to celebrate their birthdays in detention."

"I think this is another Marauder story that will go in FamousNoOne's books," Peter sighed.

"Good night," The marauders signed off.


	23. Wand for a Lupin

For one so little, the quant shop seemed so massive. Yes, this shop was extraordinary. The other shops were special indeed as they held grand wonders and astonishing magic. The other shops held captive a young witches and wizards with eye opening enticements.

For the studious at heart, Whizz Hard Book and Obscurus Books would window case the latest published books but within laid the aged books of ancient times and intellects of all age would nibble at their fingers with anticipation.

At Diagon Alley, Sugarplum's Sweets Shop is the place to be if you wish to fill your stomach with devious delicious made of confection sugar such as Cauldron Cakes, Liquorice Wands, Chocolate Frogs, and Pumpkin Pasties.

If your soul belongs to empty pages that tempt the hand you may find yourself eager to see within Amanuensis Quills or Scribbulus Writing Implements. Which feather marks your vision? Which feather maintains your speed of thought? And ink, which would you pick? Would it be pink or blood red? Or perhaps it shall be black for you, dark as a shadow or maybe grey hues of an incoming storm? Do you wish it to match your eyes or your robe?

Fancy yourself a pet? The Magical Menagerie has a grand selection of any kind of suitable or unsuitable creature for the Witch or Wizard like you. You can get a poisonous orange snail or a giant jewel-encrusted tortoise. Maybe you fancy a sleek black rats that are very intelligent or the white one – get the pair. Ravens are sold here with feathers so black they look blue. Cats of many different fur texture and colour. How about Puffskeins or a Transforming Rabbit? Yes even Owls can be sold here, yet it is best if you find yourself in need of an owl, look inside the Eeylops Owl Emporium.

There was not one shop that one witch or wizard could find something they wish to take with them. But those shops were nothing like this shop. No. Out of all the shops, this was the one that finalized ones true nature. This was Ollivander's Wand Shop. There are other places one can easily purchase a wand. If at a lower cost but no one is finer than Ollivander's wand….

"I know the wand for you!" Ollivander thin frame scurried up a curved ladder to the top shelf of the third row. With caring hands, he carefully slid the oblong box off its shelf and blew the dust away. With weathered eyes, he looked down at the child and with a nod, a self-confirmation to himself that this would be the wand for the boy. Just as quickly as he went up, he came down the ladder and back to the counter to the boy and parents that stood behind him. Gently, Ollivander placed the box on the counter and slowly opened the lid to reveal a high gloss wand for the boy. He stood there, waiting for the boy to pick the wand up.

The boy looked down at the wand and nibbled on his lower lip. The hesitation was not of marvel but that of doubt. For this young child was not like the other normal boys that entered Ollivander's Wand shop. The boy blinked his green eyes at the older man and opened his mouth to speak but thought better of it.

"I know my wands, child. This wand is truly the wand for you." Ollivander encouraged the boy.

"B-but Sir, how do you know?" The boy asked curiously. "I do not wish to sound disrespectful, Sir. But how do you know? W-what if it doesn't work? What if there isn't a wand suitable for me?"

"How do I know? It is the wand that knows, Mr Lupin." Ollivander pointed to the wand of red brown with dark ripples through its course grain. "Pick it up boy and give it a wave and you will see soon enough, this wand is for you."

With continued hesitation, Remus slowly picked up the wand while holding his breath. Yet the expected did not happen. The quite opposite in fact. It was the unexpected that had happen to the young wizard. As he waved the wand, a soft glow of warmth surrounded him, clinging to him and perhaps, completing his inner soul. Ollivander all but clapped his hands with delight.

"B-but how?" Remus blinked his surprise back.

"Hawthorn of eleven and one fourth and quit bendy," Ollivander carefully plucked the from the wizards hand and safely placed it back in the box. "A reasonable size, I should say. I only use three cores for my wands. Dragon heartstring, Phoenix feather and Unicorn hair. It is that of a Unicorn hair that resides within your wand, Mr. Lupin. A fine core for a fine young wizard. You see a wand with such core produces magic that remains reliable and least to turn to dark powers. Out of all the wands, the wand with unicorn will always be the most faithful and attach itself to the owner whether that owner is accomplished witch or wizard."

"Oh. I see. This wand is like the last resort, then?" Remus frowned at the wand while his mind digested the last information. Whether he was skilled or not, this wand would pick him.

"I don't think you see at all, Mr Lupin," Ollivander caught his disappointed expression. "The wand picks the wizard for a reason and what that reason maybe, we may not know. I have found that the Unicorn core does tend to pick witches or wizards that underestimate their own capability."

Remus blinked again at the wand as the Wand Master's words settle upon himself. He had to admit, it was true. He always questioned his own doings. His heart was curious and his mind eager to know, "What else, sir? What else makes that wand mine?"

Mr and Mrs Lupin exchanged an apology look over their son's head.

"He has a keen interest in learning," Mr Lupin placed both hands on his son's shoulders.

Ollivander laughed, the small wrinkles deepen around his eyes. "An interest in wandlore? Splendid! Splendid, indeed! With a unicorn hair as within your core, I must say that it is not the most powerful wand there is however what the core lacks the wood may compensate it." Ollivander looked back down at the glossy reddish brown wood. "Hawthorn wands are very temperamental. They are not easy to master and will need a strong wizard or witch. The flower of the hawthorn tree heals and yet, the tree itself can smell like death. The wand of a Hawthorn picks the master whose life is complex. The wand is very well skilful a curses as well, my boy."

"Complex? What do you mean, Sir?" Remus questioned.

Ollivander looked down at the boy with a little more interest than Remus cared for. "In a wand, the hawthorn is comfortable in a witch or wizard that goes through turmoil, who is need in of maintaining an inner balance here." Ollivander tapped Remus lightly in the chest. Suddenly, he placed the lid back on the box. "No. No. There is no doubt; this is the wand for you, Mr Lupin."

"Thank you," Mrs Lupin smiled gently at the kind man.

"Yes, sir." Remus took the box from the older man's hands. "I thank you."

"Welcome. Welcome." Ollivander beamed at the family for a moment before he held a finger slightly in the air. "One more thing. Wand care is extremely important. The unicorn hair may need replacement for if they are poorly mishandled they do tend to go into a state of melancholy and the hair would surely die."

"I will have the most care of my wand, sir." Remus smiled at the man.

"I do believe you will." Ollivander clapped his hands behind his back and watched the small family leave and their exist, brought another family to his service.

"Hello." The boy put his hands on the counter top and looked at the rows and rows of shelves. "I am going to Hogwarts at the start of September. I will be in need of a wand, Sir."


	24. Potter gets a Wand

Thanks for all the great owls! They are delightful! I love to laugh and many of you are great fun! It is a pleasure! Continue to ask any question you may have – no matter how silly or how difficult (some of you had me searching for answers!). I will answer the questions on the next Broadcasting but for now, please enjoy another wand tale.

* * *

"Hello." The boy put his hands on the counter top and looked at the rows and rows of shelves. "I am going to Hogwarts at the start of September. I will be in need of a wand, Sir."

"Is that so?" Ollivander beamed down at the boy and then at the adults behind the boy. "Mr and Mrs Potter, I presume?"

"That is correct," Mr Potter nodded his head in greetings while placing a resting hand on Mrs Potter's shoulder. "My wife and I had the pleasure of dealing with your grandfather when we nothing more than children ourselves. His wands have proven to be very agreeable and perhaps superior with age. I am to understand that you follow in his eminent wand craft?"

"We should like the very best for our James," Mrs Potter explained.

"I understand. In fact, it was he that taught me." Ollivander explained. "Yet I was able to produce a more sensible structure with wood and core that very much resembles the rudimentary structure and soul of the wizard or witch that holds the wand. Of course I could not have done so without my Grandfather's patience and guidance."

"That is all very nice, sir but my wand? I would really wish to have it." James' brilliant hazel eyes shined brightly from behind the thin wire rims of his spectacles as they darted to one tall shelf to another. "I am to be an outstanding wizard one day and I will need a most grand wand, you understand."

"We do apologize," Mrs Potter bent her head down to kiss the top of James' chaotic mass of black hair. "He can be a trifle brash at times."

"Mum…" James stepped away from his mother's pecks while taken note if anyone happened to witness her open display of love. He looked to his right and then to his left for unwanted witnesses. With a sigh of relief, he patted the top of his head, rubbing off the kiss, he then reset his eyewear back on his slightly freckle speckled nose. "I am eleven now, that is nearly a full age wizard. You cannot go about doing that stuff anymore."

"Rubbish. Even if you live to be a hundred and forty-two, I'll dolt on you all I wish." And to prove her point, she planted a million kisses on his cheeks, his neck and head.

"Stop! Mum…no, don't. Dad, do something!" James mocked a horrific expression but his eyes twinkled merrily and a bubble of laughter escaped him.

"Alright, I shall save you from your banshee of a mother," Mr Potter joked, which earned him a sharp whack on the arm from his wife, as he scooped James up and plopped him on the counter. "So what do you think? Do you have a grand wand for this young Gryffindor?"

"Yes. Yes I have it right over here…." Ollivander walked far back towards the left of the shop.

James craned his neck to watch the older man. There was a moment of silence and James' swept his eyes to his father. Mr Potter shrugged his shoulders to James' unspoken question and in return, James shrugged his own shoulders and once again stretched his neck in attempt to peer around the corner of the shelf. "Have I mentioned that I will be a famous Quidditch Player as well? I shall be a grand Quidditch Playing Wizard."

"Ah! Marvellous game, Qudditch is. Yes, quite the sport but wands are not used and hence, would have no role in finding the right wand for you, Mr Potter." Ollivander strolled from his spot behind the shelves towards the counter once more. In his hands he held a box wand with the care of a prized egg.

"I'm James. That is my dad. That is Mr Potter but I am James. Once I get married, I think I shall then be a Mr Potter but I don't think I will wed. I don't really like girls enough to marry one. You have to snog each other if you get married!" James wrinkled up his nose in a bit of disgust. "I'm going to play Qudditch instead so you can call me James."

"Very well, James it is then." Ollivander placed the box next to James, carefully slipping the lid off the box. He picked up the wand that was cased within and held it out for the Potters to inspect. "This is a splendid wand. It is beech tree, soft timber with a core of a dragon heartstring."

"Go ahead, son." Mr Potter encouraged James. "Give it a swoosh and let's see how well it works."

James smiled brightly and without any more encouraging words, he swished his wand through the air. Instantly a bolt of flames flared from his wand, causing the roof to catch alight.

Both Mr Potter and Ollivander took their wands out to extinguish the flames. Mrs Potter quickly removed the wand from James' hands with a frown upon her face. She scanned her eyes over his body to make sure he was unhurt.

"Did you see that, Mum?" James asked with wide eyes. "I want that wand! It's like having a breathing dragon on a stick!"

"I should say not!" Mrs Potter placed the lid back on the box forcefully.

Mr Potter laughed and rubbed the top of his son's hair. "Perhaps another wand?"

Again, with careful grace, Ollivander took the box into his hands and moved into his shelf to find another wand. Once more he was at James' side with a different wand. "Here we are! Yes, this is a superior wand. One of my favourites, I should say. Holly staff with Unicorn hair as the core."

James plucked the wand out of the box and smiled as he studied the carefully carved swirls. "This does seem to fit well," James told the adults and with confident that this was indeed the wand that matched him, he gave a quick slice in the air. Above him a miniature storm appear with thunder and bolts of electrical flashes. As if they were outdoors, the cloud burst into a rainstorm pooling onto the floor, rather quickly.

"No matter." Ollivander quickly took the wand from James' hand and darted back into the shelves while Mr Potter vapored the minuscule storm cell and drained the ankle deep water. "I have more for you. Let me see….Oh yes! We shall try this wand."

"Won't you be careful, poppet." Mrs Potter attempted to smooth James' hair down.

"He is doing great," Mr Potter assured his wife. "What is the make of this wand?"

"Ten inches of Bombax with the core of dragon heartstring." Ollivander replied while rubbing his hands in anticipation.

"Aim away from yourself, dear." Mrs Potter reminded him.

"Right." James waved his wand away from himself as well as the adults. One slow swish and quick slash caused the building to shake to its foundation and a loud crack echoed off the walls and dust filled the air as the chimney collapsed. When the ash settled, everyone was plastered in soot. Ollivander quickly took the wand from James' hand, giving the boy a bewildered look. James took off his spectacles to wipe clean with the edge of his shirt but there was too much grime on it to do any good. Mrs Potter did a cleansing spell while Mr Potter repaired the chimney and Ollivander went off for another wand.

"This is proven to be most difficult, I say." Ollivander's voice drifted from the right corner of the little shop.

James kept an eye on his parents in case they noted him slithering off to the wand shelves. Once he was out of catching range, he quickly shot off down a few of the shelves looking for 'his' wand.

"Perhaps this shall…" Ollivander blinked as he looked around. "Mr Potter? Your son? Has he gone?"

"James?" Mr Potter called out while turning in a little circle to view the whole shop. "This is not the place to play games. You could get hurt. James."

"Oh dear, where could he have gone?" Mrs Potter hugged her husband's arm as she looked about for her precious child.

"Here I am!" James popped down a ladder with a wand box in his hand. "I have found the wand I want!"

"James, you know better than to go off like that!" Mrs Potter scolded.

"Sorry Mum," James gave her his best smile. "But look what I have found!" He placed his wand on the counter for all to see. "That is the wand for me!"

"Eleven inch Mahogany very pliable and excellent for transfiguration," Ollivander looked down at James inquisitively. "That wand was made by my grandfather." Ollivander carefully took the wand out of the box.

"Mahogany," James smile widen with excitement. "Some of the best broomsticks are made out of Mahogany!"

"Pick it up, son." Mr Potter encouraged.

James kept grinning as he quickly took the wand from Ollivander's hand. He held his breath, as the adults braced themselves, as a warming sensation spread from the wand and passed over him. With a smirk of confidence, James whooshed at the air and in return it produced snitch looking bubbles to flow out of his wand. "Did you see that, Dad? Did you see what I can do already? Mum?"

"It's marvellous, my boy." Mr Potter beamed at his son. "Quite marvellous!"

"I always knew you were talented," Mrs Potter praised.

"It is a splendid wand," Ollivander pointed to the wand in James' hand. "It is the last wand my grandfather made. I am surprised that there is an owner of it at all."

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"It is a very stubborn wand and very temperamental. The core that lies within your wand is a Phoenix feather, a core that is not easy to master." Ollivander explained.

"But I am its master now, aren't I?" James eyebrows raised and he lowered his voice.

"That you are, child. That you are." Ollivander smiled sincerely at the boy as he looked at his wand with a new wonder.

The Potters' left Ollivander with a promise of some well-deserved ice cream. Ollivander turned from the door towards his many rows of wand shelves. A slight frown appeared on his face in realization that those little snitch bubbles were rapidly multiplying from twenty to twenty thousand and growing. "Dear me…."

.


	25. Chapter 25Peter gets a wand combo

James opened his mouth to take a large bite out of an overstuffed filled éclair. He was just about to sink his teeth right into it. He was just about to wrap his lips around it. Quicker than a snitch, it was stolen right out of his hands and into the mouth of Sirius Black.

"Blimey mate, you act as you haven't eaten at all," James looked at his friend in amazement as Sirius stuffed the whole éclair into his mouth. Padfoot's cheeks were swollen with the pastry.

"Et ez ast ouwne," Sirius replied.

"Come again?" James eyebrows lift up with his question.

Sirius raised a finger in the air to indicate 'one minute' as he chewed a bit more and swallowed a large block of dough. "It was the last one, I said."

"Sure enough," James agreed. "Remus had two. Peter had one and you had three. Who had the last one? I did, that is who. But only for a moment when it was suddenly taken from my very own mouth and now I had none at all while you had four." James held up four fingers.

"Don't whine about it," Sirius grinned with a trace of demonic madness at his friend. He pushed James' hand down. "You have more than most as it is; why not experience the feeling of going without for once?"

"Because I don't wish to do so," James stood quickly.

"Oi? Where are you going?" Remus watched James take his cloak out of the foot trunk. "Are you going to wander the halls without us?"

"Only to the kitchens," James explained. "Going to get some more éclairs for myself to enjoy."

"Lies," Sirius told them as James walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. "It's a lie. An excuse."

"No, Peter shook his head. "I really think he's going to the kitchen."

Remus shook his head, a mimic gesture of Peter's own. "No, I think Sirius is correct this one time."

"What do you mean, 'this one time'? I've been right more times than just once," Sirius huffed.

"Where's the proof?" Remus grinned, ignoring Sirius and looked at Peter. "Tonight is Lily's turn to patrol for perfect duty."

"You're not patrolling with her?" Peter frowned.

"No," Remus gathered some of the sweets up, putting them in a pile on his lap. "We must work together, no matter which house we are in…well that is what we are told. Gryffindors never work with Slytherins. It proves to be too violent. Lily is patrolling with Hufflepuff tonight. Sean Dunskiper."

"Oh, he's that really tall lad?" Peter stretched his arm to indicate a height.

"Put your hand down," Sirius threw a chocolate covered roach at him. "You're short enough that everyone is tall. Dunskiper is the one with that weird hiccup laugh."

"Oh, yeah!" Peter eyes beamed brightly as he picked the chocolate apart. "That is who I thought it was and yeah, he's taller than you. James is going to get more points taken from us," Peter told them. "He never stays hidden when Lily is about, does he? Needs to make an appearance for her whether she wants it or not."

"I don't know about that, Pete." Sirius reached for a cup of berries. "If you recall last week, she sent him straight to bed but hadn't taken points from him. I'm thinking that we are witnessing a slow start to a nervous breakdown in Evans."

"Or maybe James has finally made the right impression on her?" Remus offered.

"I should hope not!" Sirius pointed his fork in Remus' direction, "A nervous breakdown is far more interesting than love sprouting."

"Hey let us start the Broadcasting bit?" Peter put the letters on a pile on the floor. "James shouldn't be long, so we probably won't miss anything."

"No. It is best that we wait for him," Remus sorted through the letters. "But why don't you tell your story of that wand, Pete? We haven't heard your tale about it."

"Oh…" Peter looked down at his wand with a slight frown. "I'm afraid it isn't interesting at all."

"I am interested in your story, Wormy." Remus assured him.

"Well…," Peter shrugged, "I suppose but James would miss the story."

"We wouldn't want that!" Sirius mocked.

"He shouldn't be long, Peter." Remus encouraged the boy.

Peter looked over at Sirius for his input, which is not always the best thing to do. Out of all the Marauders, Sirius didn't seem as fond of Peter as the others…but that how Peter thought.

"You best do it now," Sirius told him. "Can't go doing it later, can we? I need time to tell my tale and I can't say it is as interesting as James or Remus' either but I am going to have my tale as well."

"I suppose," Peter huffed. He picked up his wand that he had laid at his side on the floor. "Nothing special…um, all the same, I wish to wait for James."

"Fine." Sirius rolled his grey eyes. "But I will have you know that I'm not liking it."

"We can wait." Remus spread out the owls they received. "We do have a lot of owls and I suppose we should answer them before the stack grows even more."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Fifteen minutes later Sirius lay sprawled across his bed with one leg braced against the other as he tapped his wand against his shoe. "I don't think he's coming back."

"He has nowhere else to go," Remus said as he flipped a page on his book. "He'll be back."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Twenty minutes later, Peter rolled over in his bed, falling to the floor. It would have been quite amusing if it didn't seem rehearsed. "I think Sirius is right, I don't think he's coming back."

"He will be back," Remus said once again.

"Er…maybe we should look for him?" Sirius scrambled out of his bed. "Who's got the map?"

"Prongs," Remus answered without taking his eyes off his beloved book.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Forty minutes later, Remus put his book down. "Obviously he must have gotten into some sort of trouble if he isn't back by now!"

"I say we scurry down into the Slytherin pit, blast the lot…minus one. We shall be needing one to torture." Sirius headed for the door with a purpose in mind and a wand in hand but Remus stopped him by tossing his book at Black's head.

"I cannot believe you done that!" Peter whispered in shock. "Your book!"

"I-I d-don't know what came over me," Remus bent down next to his book and slowly scooped it up in his arms. He carefully examined it for injuries. "I think it will be okay."

"That's good," Peter sighed in relief. Remus and no book was not a good thing.

"What about my bloody head!" Sirius asked rubbing the knot that was forming at the back of his head.

"It takes a beating regularly," Peter said matter-of-factly,

"I'm going to give you a regular beating!" Sirius started for Peter but the boy scurried under James' bed. "Get out from under there and fight like a Gryffindor!"

"Hide today and live to run another day," Peter sang. "Ewww…there are sticky stuff under here."

"Their slug traps or so James says," Remus bent down to peer under the bed at Peter and the little cardboard squares. He took one of the pieces from Peter's hand to show Sirius "His mum puts honey on the cardboard and tells James' that they'll keep the slugs away."

Sirius frowned at the little square, "The lad is more messed up than me and I've got reasons."

"Cause your inbreeded?" Peter asked, poking his head out just enough to see Sirius.

"Do you want to see how many times I can kill you?" Sirius asked.

"That's what James says," Peter slipped his head back under the bed. "He says you're mad because everyone in your family is related."

"Of course we are related! It's a bloody family!" Sirius growled.

"I think we should look for our lost Prongs," Remus picked himself off the floor. "I suppose it is possible that Lily has murdered him."

"So…will we be looking for body pieces or just blood covering the cold stone floors?" Peter asked.

By the time Remus had the knob of the door in his hand; Sirius and Peter were right behind him. Remus opened the door and stood frozen. There before him was James, leaning against the wall and Lily, with her arms crossed in front of her talking to him. Not hexing. Not fighting. Just talking. They both appeared to be startled when the other Marauders poked their heads out of the door. James blinked at them. The three boys blinked back. All four boys looked at Lily. Lily looked at the ceiling. James looked back at his friends. They looked back at him. James closed the door again.

Sirius stared at the closed door.

Remus scratched the back of his head.

Peter titled his head.

"That twat! He hadn't gotten any food!" Sirius cried.

"So I was eleven like everyone else when I got my first wand," Peter turned away from the door, deciding that maybe James wasn't going to care about his story after all. "I remember it like it was yesterday. The wand shop had an odd smell to it. I think it was dust. Maybe mould. Maybe both. It just smelled…old."

* * *

"Ah! Mr Pettigrew," Ollivander hastily climbed down his movable stair case and towards the little boy. The boy was slightly thick around the middle. He had no promise of great height nor was he terribly handsome but he was wholesome with pinkish cheeks and dark eyes. "I was beginning to wonder if I would see you at all!"

"I-I," Peter pointed to the closed door. "I mean, Mother is getting my robes. They are to be done now, she said. I am to wait here. I hope you don't mind, sir."

"Of course not. While you wait we shall fit you with the suitable wand!" Ollivander snapped his fingers and the measuring tape became active. It wasn't all worrisome to be bothered by an enchanted measuring tape when born into magic world.

"Oh! No, sir." Peter shook his head. "I have to wait for my Mother. She said she would help me pick the wand out."

"I made this very wand just last week," Ollivander ignored the boy's protest. "I made it out of Phoenix feather and Plum. Give it a try, what harm would it do?"

Peter looked back at the door and then at the wand. "If you are sure?" Peter slowly swift the wand in the air. Nothing happened.

Ollivander frowned and looked at Peter more closely, "You are a wizard are you not?"

"N-no I mean, Y-yes, sir." Peter put the wand down.

Ollivander stared at him for a moment longer, making Peter shift his weight to one foot and back again. "Very well, we shall try another wand. Let me see…"

Peter watched the old man wander down an aisle of wands to the next aisle and the next.

"Ah! I found it." Ollivander hurried back over to where Peter stood. "Here we are. Balsa, ten inches. Light and flexible. The core is phoenix."

Peter picked up the wand and waved it about. A spark shot out of the wand and right through the window, shattering it to pieces. "Sorry about that!"

"It happens more often than you think," Ollivander waved the mess aside. "I got another wand for you to try."

"I do appreciate your help but perhaps I should really wait for Mother," Peter whimpered.

"Nonsense, why wait when we can get you settled with a new wand this very moment, here we are! Yes this will do quite nicely. Black Maple of eight inches, wispy and stringy, unicorn hair as the core. Give it a go."

"If you are sure…" Peter closed his eyes and swish the wand about a sudden sparkle of golden snowflakes fell upon Peter's head. A cool sensation flowed through his hands and coursed throughout his body. "Whoa…"

"It appears this wand has chosen you, Mr Pettigrew," Ollivander beamed at the boy. "I do hope you will keep good care of it. For some, there is only but one wand."

"I will keep the best care of it, sir! I promise!" Peter carefully placed it back into the wand box. "Mother will be most pleased!"

* * *

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sirius yawned, "You were right Wormy. That was a boring story."

"Hey now," Remus frowned at Sirius. "If you think about it, the only thing exciting about getting a wand is getting it. Nothing really exciting happens."

"Yes but there was nothing at all exciting about it," James cut in. "No chimney falling. No fires. No storms. It was just…well Peter getting his wand. Black Maple, eh? Not bad though."

"James!" Peter about rushed over to the boy, wanting to wrap his short arms around the taller boy's slim waist but Remus cuffed the back of his shirt, holding him back. "You heard!"

"Yes. I came in about when Ollivander didn't quite believe you were a wizard." James grinned.

"What's goin' with you and the witch?" Sirius nodded to the closed door.

"I ran into her, is all." James shrugged. "She walked me back to our room."

"That all?" Remus eyed James for a lie but Prongs was natural at keeping a straight face.

"That was all," James ambled towards his bed and sat down on it. "I asked her out, she said no, go back to bed and stay out of trouble. We said our good-night. "

"What about the sweets?" Sirius asked, looking down at James' empty hands. "You've got none!"

"No snog?" Remus asked.

"You were out there an awful long time for saying 'good-night'," Peter frowned.

"No sweets. No snogging. She spoke about patrolling, how I should stop hexing students, stop telling the firsties that upper-class students get to hex them for practice and whatnot."

"But we do hex them for practice," Sirius frowned. "We tell them that we are so they won't be surprised or take it personal."

"Yeah, I like it when they hide and we hunt them down," Peter agreed.

"Are you going to stop all that, Prongs?" Remus asked.

"I said I would if she go out on a date with me," James admitted.

"And she said no, right?" Sirius questioned.

"She said no," James confirmed.

"Thank Merlin for her uncompassionate heart! If she agreed to save those little brats, well I don't even want to think about it!" Sirius fell backwards on his bed. "It is far too depressing."

"Oi," James looked over at Remus' bed. "Are those all for the Broadcasting?"

"Yes," Remus sighed. "Quite a lot of them. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy them but yeah this is a work load."

"Best we get busy, eh?" James picked up the first letter. "Are we sending pressies out for the first Owl? I think we shall."

"I got a chocolate roach!" Peter held up the covered bug.

James wrinkled his nose, "I think that would scare them off. Remus – what do you have?"

"I've got nothing, you know that." Remus mumbled.

"Come off it, there must be something you are willing to part with." James strolled over to Remus' side of the room.

"Why me?" Remus watched James dig through his belongings.

"Why not? We each will give something away in the end…what about this?" James held up a jar.

"Muggle coins," Remus pointed over to Sirius. "It belongs to him."

"I'm not giving the coins away, mate." Sirius stated.

"Fine…hey, what about this?" James held up Remus' old maroon scarf.

"That is to keep warm," Remus frowned.

"You can have mine and our viewer can have yours." James sniffed the scarf. "Smells like cedar and wet dog."

"Thank you for insulting my scent." Remus rolled his eyes.

James shrugged and went back to his own bed, "Remus scarf goes to FamousNoOne who says, yay."

"Yay?" Sirius asked.

"Yep. Yay." James grinned.

"She gets a scarf for saying 'yay'?" Peter gave James' his odd confused face, which James always thought it looked as he got his with a goblin face hex.

"We didn't say it had to be a question," James reminded them. "But our next owl does bring us a question. This is from Syd. She goes to say that you, Remus should not spoil her compliments."

"Me?" Remus looked bewildered.

"Yes you," James tsked at him. "Always trying to ruin a bit of fun, aren't we? It seems that Syd is very proud of her madness and I would just like to say that people that are on the blink of insanity are usually very happy people. Living with this lot, I believe I am an expert."

"Says the Quidditch obsessed Evan stalker who sleeps with sticky cardboard under his bed and a stuffed quaffle ball in his arms." Sirius snorted.

"It's a front," James grinned. "But moving on as we do have many owls this time around. Um…well Syd's question is 'what would happen if someone's animigus form was something they were allergic to?'."

"Hmmm," Remus tapped his finger against the hardback book. "That person may break out in rash. Though, I cannot see a body allowing a transformation to take place when turning into something that it would not be capability with."

"Martin Fredgic is allergic to coconut but his stomach still likes it, just not his tongue." Sirius told them.

"Martin isn't the brightest student at Hogwarts," Remus whispered.

"Sadly, he isn't the dimmest either." Sirius nodded towards Peter.

"I'm right here!" Peter frowned at Sirius.

"I think Remus' answer is logical. I don't see it happening but it would be interesting to witness," James said. "What else do we have…well this proves that Syd is disturbed. She says and I am quoting, 'tell my little Jamesy-Poo McSnugglekinns that he's such an adorable little shnookums, pretending to hate snails. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to got talk to a Cheshire Cat about some enchanted beach balls...In Mad Devotion,Syd. PS, The flying beach ball that delivered this prefers to be called Marty.'"

"Jamesy-Poo McSnugglekinns is an adorable shnookums!" Sirius laughed.

James grinned, "But I am adorable."

"What's a Cheshire Cat?" Peter asked.

"Who's Marty?" Remus looked around.

"I think it's the very round owl that looks like a ball of feathers," Peter answered. "I don't think it really is a beach ball. Syd…cuckoo."

"What's the next letter, Snugglekinns?" Sirius asked James.

James plucked another letter off Remus' bed with the use of his wand, "Maybe if Evans thinks someone else is giving me lovable pet names, she might take more of an interest."

"Until she finds out that the letters are from a witch that is probably locked up for society's protection," Remus laughed. "It then makes perfect sense!"

"Har-har," James rolled his eyes. "So the next letter is from, Lizzy. She goes to say that since we had said Snape was 5'8'' how tall are we?"

"I hope she realizes that the measurement we gave her included his nose and that stands a bit higher than his head," Sirius put in.

"Wouldn't it be obvious?" James asked. "I am 1.88 centimetres which is the same as 6' and 2". Still a growing boy."

"And I am 1.85 centimetres or 6' and 1''." Remus answered.

"As James, I am 1.78 centimetres or 5' and 10"." Sirius looked over at Peter.

"Isn't saying that I'm shorter enough?" Peter whined.

"Oh go on," James encouraged. "Some witches like little gnomes size wizards!"

"I'm not that short!" Peter looked at James quite crossly. "Fine! I am 1.75 centimetres."

"You are not," James cried. "Say it true, Wormy."

"1.72" Peter answered.

"Lower…" Sirius sang.

"1.68!" Peter growled.

"Even lower…" Remus mumbled.

"1.65 but I'm not done growing!" Peter finally admitted.

"That is 5' and 5"," Remus answered.

"So…how tall are you Lizzy?" Sirius asked.

"I'm think she is 1.70," James took out some coins. "Place a bet, lads?"

"I'm going with 1.73." Sirius put a few coins in.

James looked over at Remus and Peter, "You two in?"

"Nah," Remus shook his head. "I don't have any to spare."

"Me either," Peter still pouted.

"You and me, closes to the height wins." James asked.

"Agree." Sirius nodded.

"Next question," Remus took out the next owl. "Oi this is quite the letter. This is from our dearest Mary. Remember she was at the Hufflepuff Valentines Party?"

"She's the one we said was singing," James grinned.

"That is her. This is what she says or something to the sort. 'This is not me. It is impossible. The Marauders only know me from owls. They do not know which house I belongs within. I do not share lessons with you lot as I am is a year behind so they cannot know possible know who I am. I also have a friend who swore to watch me back in case I get a bit irrational but apparently I have been on the wrong end of the vanishing memory charm.' I think by her friend but I am just assuming here. She goes to say that it isn't all that bad because 'Redgsahdfyadfd ahhhh' or a certain someone wasn't in the party. Her memory catches up with her and she says, 'Holy Dementors! And that's all we've got."

"Redgsahdfyadfd Ahhhh?" James asked. "His parents must have really hated his birthing. And you lot say I have bad names!"

"I'm confused." Peter stated.

"Mary is correct. We only know her by the parchment that is delivered by owl." Remus confirmed.

"However, there is at least one person besides the owner who can identify an owl. If you find that owl, ask someone if they know who it belongs to…well, process of elimination will eventually get you to the owner of the Owl that brings us a post written from Mary." James explained.

"Remember, James is an expert stalker." Sirius added.

"And Sirius likes to hump Dumbledore's leg." James smirked.

Sirius raised his wand.

"Hey!" Remus cut them off. "We have too many letters."

"Fine. But I'm not going to forget this, Jamesy-Poo McSnugglekinns!" Sirius growled.

"Did we answer Mary's question?" Peter asked.

"Yes. She now knows that we know that she knows who we are." James explained.

"Oh." Peter frowned.

"There is a second part of the letter but it is written by her friend. It seems Mary went off leaving her pen behind and her friend, Becca took over the post." Remus explained. "Her message, 'James,Sirius, Remus, Peter: I will be taking over this letter if you don't mind, I'm Mary's friend you can call me Becca and I'm from Hufflepuff ! I do believe you guys like to prank Mary and I totally support you is funny seeing her freaking out, please don't misunderstand me we are great friends but I do enjoy this type of pranks, you should have seen her face right now it was EPIC. I do believe Mary gave a lot of information about herself right now, if I may add to the list she is one of the few girls in the school that Sirius hasn't snoged..."

"Oi! She belongs to the Against Snogging Sirius club or A.S.S club!" James laughed and Peter was quick to join him.

"This is what happens when Evans gives him just a wee bit of attention," Sirius threw dark glares at James. "Goes straight to his over-size head."

"Yes, well back to Becca. She goes to say that there is a song called titled, 'Lying is the Most Fun' by a Muggle band called Panic. The story of the song reminds her of your romance with a Gryffindor girl that you once had." Remus read.

"Yeah, I know those lyrics well." Sirius gave a haughty smile to his mates. "But now, Becca. Luv. When you hear that song, you will forever be thinking of me."

"For some reason I think I shall feel a bit embarrassed for you about now," Peter stated.

"Becca does have a question as she believes that Mary may have wanted to ask this. It is directed towards me. The girls would like to know the worst patrolling experience that did not involve James or Sirius." Remus read. "Um…well, let me think. I have to say it was when I came across two witches out past curfew. They were friends with each other, having a bit of a go. Nasty catfight, I admit. I separated them but I had to place a charm on the more aggressive witch and that didn't set well with her friend, even though they were physically sorting it out. Next thing I knew, they had turned on me. I thanked Merlin that Evans came about soon to put a proper stop on it. I learnt that a wizard should never get mixed up in witches affairs."

"It's a mental imbalance," James told them.

"You just don't mess with that sort," Sirius agreed.

"Best let them have it out," Peter nodded.

"Now Becca and Mary would like to know from James and Sirius, what was the best prank you two pulled on a prefect?"

"Besides telling you that they discontinued chocolate?" James asked.

"That was solely a Lupin Prank," Sirius remind him.

"It wasn't funny," Remus pouted.

James pushed his fingers though his hair, "We have done so many pranks. We did the clock charm. We move it up two hours, told everyone but the perfects."

"Yes, I remember that one. You let the Perfects believe everyone was two hours pasted their curfew and students were having a go at us when tried to take house points from them and send them off to bed," Remus frowned.

Sirius sighed. "That was a good prank but was it our best?"

"The Prankless Prank has to be up on the top ranks," James told Sirius. "Do you remember it, Moony?"

"I do but I wish to forget," Remus rubbed his temples.

"James and I started a 'rumour' about how the Marauders were preparing for a considerable large prank that would involve most of Hogwarts and would be targeted at all Perfects. When some nark finally confessed to the Perfects, well naturally the lot wanted to take credit for stopping the prank before it was to happen but they also wanted to be prepared for it as well," Sirius smiled proudly at James.

"Yes. It was rumoured to involve the lake, a broom, the Perfects 'Head Quarters', and a cake. The prank was that there would be no prank and yet, half the school was involved by passing that rumour 'round," James looked over at Remus. "How long did it take? A week? Two weeks? A month, I think. Something along there. Evans finally figured it out."

"There wasn't one Perfect that felt safe in our company and we did make sure we were near them whenever possible," Sirius added.

"We even had fake hand signals and would pretend to be whispering a discussion about the prank." James put in.

"Good times. To set back and watch people create their own fear," Sirius sighed with satiation.

Remus tossed Peter a cookie, "That's from Becca or Mary. Or both. They haven't got a question for you so you get a cookie."

"I like this better," Peter grinned at the cookie.

"I want a cookie!" James frowned at Peter's cookie. "It isn't fair that he gets one and I don't!"

"Your mum sends you sweets all the time," Sirius told him. "Let Peter have a present."

"What else do we have?" Peter asked Remus, hoping to take James' mind off his cookie. James would take it from him. He is of course, spoiled that way.

"Well, Syd sends another owl. She says that I am adorable, referring to my wand tale. She also says that she has a Silver Lime Wand of Unicorn Hair core."

"That's a nice wand. Silver Lime isn't easy to get a hold of," James stated.

"We've got a new listener, Starlight…er, wait. Starlight was SiriusJPotter but now is Starlight," Remus explained.

"Yes, that doesn't make it confusing at all, does it?" James mocked.

"Star says that she was disappointed in me for missing the 'J' middle initial as it was pointed at my own middle initial." Remus read.

"Oi, I thought it was for James Potter." Prongs admitted. "Seriously James Potter."

"Except it read Sirius," Padfoot reminded him.

"Misspelt," James shrugged.

"The letter continues with an apologise to Sirius, hoping that you aren't mad that she sic James on you and to make you feel better, Star has been hiding from Lily for she is upset with the idea of double dating with James as her date. She also smiles at you lovingly." Remus batted his eyelashes.

"I can't help it if birds dolt upon my magnificence," Sirius sniffed.

"Stars goes on to address Prongs," Remus continued. "She says that you are to meet up at Madem Puddlemeres and don't forget her Siri."

"Puddlemeres?" James looked sick. "That's…not Hog's Head!"

"I think this is to be a proper date," Remus informed him.

"How can a blackmail date be proper?" Sirius asked. "If I don't go, James will murder me."

"I swear on your bloodline," James solemnly said.

"We do have a lot of post to answer. Just go to the tea shop and have some fun." Remus told them. "Um…star said that the name you picked out for her was really dumb, Prongs. That's a shocker…for the stupid name; Star is letting Evans wear her anti-James clothing."

"What's that? Like amour or something that I cannot penetrate?" James asked.

Sirius and Remus exchanged glances. "Probably."

"Would Lily really wear amour on a date?" Peter asked with a yawn as it was late in the evening.

"Of course not," James batted the question away. "Besides, Lily will look great in anything."

"She also sends you chocolate, Sirius." Remus showed him the box. "But I need to check them for charming spells, you understand."

"You're going to eat my chocolate," Sirius translated.

Remus stared blankly at him.

"That's what I thought," Sirius sigh but wasn't going to get in the middle of Remus and chocolate.

"Hey, Mary sent us another post." James told his friends. "She goes about saying that Remus was adorable as a child and you deserve all the chocolate in the world."

"Even Sirius' chocolate." Remus grinned.

"That just isn't fair," Sirius frowned.

"What isn't fair is that Peter gets cookies, you get chocolate, he gets your chocolate and I still hadn't gotten an éclair!" James told them. "Now that just isn't fair!"

"But your Mum made you some fudge," Peter pointed to James' care package on his bed. "We can smell it from here."

"B-but that's mine." James explained. "She made them for me."

"You always shared before," Sirius reminded him.

"Maybe I will again or maybe I won't," James shrugged. "Mary writes that Becca daydreams about your, Remus as a child because you were just so adorable. But you shouldn't tell anyone." James looked at the microphone. "Well the listeners might keep it a secret."

"We got a post from Lindsey!" Peter waved the parchment about.

Sirius smiled brightly, "Huffle witch. Helped us with a prank towards the Ravens. I remember her."

"That is her. She would like to know if we were invited to the St. Patrick's Day party. Why do you call women birds? What would you name your firstborn? Remus, how is your relationship going? Sirus, if you hit on me one more time, I will hex you so hard your grandchildren will feel it! James, don't give up on Evans. You'll get her someday. Also, why do you dislike Snape the snake so much?" Peter puffed out all at once."

"Were we invited to the party?" Remus asked.

"I was," James spoke. "But I hadn't invited you lot yet. I might not. I'm undecided."

"Lindsey will invite us, won't you Linzzy?" Sirius cooed. "Why do we call girls birds…birds are very delicate creatures. Very lovely. Their voices are music blowing in the air. They are graceful and elegant. They are…"

"It's just slang," James interrupted. "Don't read into it."

"I was going for poetic," Sirius glared at Prongs.

"Your poetic was not knocking out our viewing ratings." James declared. "Save it for Seduction Hour."

"So what shall we call our first born?" Remus asked. "I think Charles is a swell name or Alyssa."

"I always liked Grace or Sydney. Diesel for a boy, since my own name was referred to a ball of gas, I think I should keep it in the family." Sirius smiled.

"I think Sheri or Marcus," Peter answered.

"I'm going to pull a name from a hat," James told his friends. "Have everyone toss a name in it and whichever I pick, that's the kid's name."

"You know, that might work for you." Remus approved.

"Next question is why do we dislike Snape." Peter sighed. "I don't suppose it's because he follows us around all the time in order to either hex us or expel us."

"Isn't it enough that he's just there?" James asked.

"Another post from Syd. She goes about getting Ghost Busters because they have a vacuum." Peter told the group.

All four Marauders looked at each other.

"We best move onward." Remus whispered.

"I do like Syd," James grinned.

"RandomFandom is asking a question," Remus read.

"How goes that all work and no play?" James asked. "Making progress?"

"Ignore him," Remus unfolded the parchment. "RandomFandom would like to know if we enjoy musicals."

"Oi. Howdo we answer this without seeming…well, like Remus?" James asked. "I do enjoy some musical. I like musicals that are witty and twisted like, 'Sweeney Todd' or if the Blacks would sing their family discussions that would also be the same."

"Right funny you are," Sirius growled. "I liked the showing of Sweeny Todd as well."

"I enjoy them to a point," Remus answered. "There are some I could not sit through but if there is humour or even some deep interest such as Les Misérables, I can withstand but there are some really olds musicals that I just wish I hadn't heard."

"I like them as well," Peter answered. "I like the old ones too. Mum likes to go see musicals."

"We have another post from Mary," Remus tells them. "She says that she finds it amusing that 'lil' James hadn't wanted to wed but now he wants to marry Evans. It's all so sweet."

"Awww…you're so adorable Snugglekinns." Sirius cooed, a second time that night.

"Mary also says that 'Poppet' sounds very cute," Remus grins.

"Mum…," James shrugged with as slight smile on his face.

"Now Lindsey, well she just laughs at your experience with getting a wand," Remus tells him.

"Life is better when you can laugh at it," James shrugged again.

"New Listener!" Peter stated. "A Rebecca!"

"Hiya, Rebecca," James greeted her. "Are you 'Becca' that knows our Mary?"

"Not sure, so we shall just call her Rebecca until we know for sure." Peter stated. "Rebecca ask three questions. If you were given a day's worth of Felix Felicis, what would you do? If you had to marry a fellow marauder, who would it be and why? And If you were a sea creature, what would you be and why?"

"First question, the Felix one." Remus cleared his throat, "I think I'm a bit thirsty. Um, I think I would try to find a cure for illnesses. Maybe luck is all I need."

"If it were that simple, I think someone would have tried it by now." James said quietly. "I of course would ask Evans out."

"I would try to speak to my family, let them see the better side of the world." Black answered.

"I-I would take a test." Peter answered. "The hardest one so I could pass."

"If you studied you might pass too." Remus reminded him. "Second question, if we had to wed one of us who would we wed and why? Oh boy….wow, this is a bit tough. I would be worried that James was cheating one me with Evans…but then, I'd worry that Sirius would be cheating one me with everyone else. I guess that leaves Peter."

"I'd marry you, Moony." Sirius stated.

"You would? Why?" Remus asked.

"With your mood swings, it would be like living with a witch." Sirius smiled.

"Twit." Remus frowned.

"I would marry James," Peter stated. "So I could go to all the Quidditch Matches and I would mind Evans."

"That's what you say…" Sirius eyed Peter.

"Why do you go about saying he has a crush on me all the time, mate?" James asked. "It's a bit nerving. Like you're jealous or something."

"It's not jealousy, it's his drooling that gives it away," Sirius nodded in Pete's direction.

"So the next question from Rebecca is type of sea creature. I don't know if she means like a dolphin or like Nessie." Remus mulled it over it bit. "Let's go with non-magical creatures of the ocean, in which I would like to be a dolphin. They seem fun and intelligent."

"I'd be an Orca," Sirius answered. "Which is a type of dolphin, I believe. I like the black and white patterns. They are pretty stunning creatures."

"I want to be a great white shark!" Peter made a jaw with his hands. "The most feared creature of the sea!"

"I'd be a blue whale," James said. "The biggest animal known to exist in the world. People would adore me. Flock just to see me. I'd be awesome."

"An anonymous Gryffindor listener would like to know when and where someone can tune into Sirius Seduction Hour." Peter read the next post.

"Anonymous views must have a name," James smiled brightly. "From hence forward you shall be call Veii."

"Veii, you can listen to Sirius Seduction Hour every Wednesday at three ante meridiem Greenwich Mean time (3am GMT) on channel five." Sirius answered. "I hope to have you tune in soon."

"Last post is from UpToNoGood, who is requesting that we do not hex after reading this post." Remus read.

"Hold up!" James stood up. "Whenever a person says something like that, it means we won't like what they are going to say next and wish to hex them. I say we find this person, hex them and then read what they say?"

"No." Remus shook his head.

"What? I say yes!" Sirius stood next to James. "Come on, Mate. We'll find this person together!"

"I'm thinking the bubble sprout charm," James headed for the door.

"They have too much fun with that," Sirius shook his head. "We could enlarge their feet, really enlarge them."

Remus and Peter watched James and Sirius leave the dorm.

"Do you think they'll find this person?" Peter ask.

"No. I've got the letter and we don't know who actually wrote the letter, do we?" Remus asked. "To finish the letter, UptoNoGood suggest that we invite a Slytherin, not Snape to the broadcast. This will allow Evans to think that James might be a good boy and perhaps date him."

"We are going to have to do more than invite a Slytherin to our show if we want Lily to think James' is a 'good boy', he's just done too many 'bad boy' things. But it is a good idea. Perhaps Reggie? Sirius might go for that." Peter looked over at Remus.

"It is a good idea. Next Broadcast we shall have Sirius' brother with us!" Remus stated. "Peter will break the news to Sirius."

"Me! Why me?" Peter's eyes grew large.

"It was your idea, wasn't it?" Remus patted him on the back.

"Oh we have one last review. Almost over looked it because it was on the wrong chapter. It's from a guest who says, 'Interactive fic are against the TOS. This could be reported.' Which translates to 'I'm going to tell on you!' Don't worry. We shall keep posting if you keep on bring the owls."

"Now for our poll results. The question was, 'Using the common instrumental layout of the Beatles, which instrument is best suitable for which Marauder?' We had five votes. Three picked 'Remus rhythm guitar, Peter bass, James lead guitar, and Sirius drums.' One picked, 'James rhythm guitar, Sirius bass, Remus lead guitar, and Peter drums.' And one picked, 'Sirius rhythm guitar, Remus bass, Peter lead guitar, and James drums.'"

"That brings us to the end of this week's broadcast. We hope you all have an enjoyable evening. We hope to catch you next week." Peter signed out.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for all the owls. You guys are the best. i hope you can get through this. I know I shouldn't but all this is 'hot off the press' so sorry for the screw ups. If I accidentally over looked a question, please re-ask. cheers!


	26. Serious Wand and Sorting

A/N:Good morning. I am working on the next broadcasting. I probably will have it up later today. Just enjoy this one for now:)

* * *

Wand For a Black

Sirius looked over the counter, trying to catch a view of all the wands. How different they all looked and yet, how identical they all seemed. He was a clever young wizard and he knew that even the slightest difference in size could mean a great diversity of seeming same wand.

"Why hello there," Ollivander popped out from a back room in his little shop. "I didn't hear you come in. Mr Black, am I correct?"

"You are," Sirius nodded and squared his shoulders back. "I am here to purchase a wand and Mother told me that you have the assortment of the very best wands."

"She is right, indeed." Ollivander looked around his shop before turning back to the young man. "Where is your mother?"

"Out and about, I suppose." Sirius nodded towards the exit door. "She had other matter she had to…attend. She has given me great amount of coins to pay, sir."

"I'm sure. Yes, very sure." Ollivander smiled, a slight relief. "Which is your wand arm?"

"Right, naturally," Sirius held up his right hand and watched the measure tape do its job. "What kind of wand do you think I should get?"

"I do not decide these matters," Ollivander went down an aisle and across another. He stepped over a stack of wand boxes and dunk under a low shelf. "It is the wand that decides the wizard, Mr Black. It is the wand."

"Well that is all good but Mother would be very upset if I would get a clinker," Sirius stretched his neck in order to try to find the older man. He raised his eye brows when he heard some boxes tumble, "Oi? You okay back there? Didn't die did you? That would upset Mother greatly… if you died before selling me a wand. She's a bit off, you've probably heard."

"Fine. Fine," Ollivander came back to the counter from a different direction than that he left he placed a box down and took the top off. "I thought we will try this magnificent wand."

"What makes it so 'magnificent'? It looks just like all the other sticks. Straight. " Sirius looked down at the ivory looking wand.

Ollivander stared at the boy for a moment in flabbergasted expression upon his face as if Sirius just insulted the wand maker's entire family tree, "Wands are what makes the wizard Mr Black. That in itself makes them magnificent. You take a wand from a wizard and see how he survived than."

"Yes, that is true but you said this wand was magnificent and I will need to tell my mother why it is magnificent so you see, I need to know why you picked this wand for me," Sirius explained as he reached for the wand. "And why is it white? Does it come darker? Like, I don't know…black?"

"The wood is Phytelephas, or Ivory Palm. It is to be white. The core is Unicorn Hair," Ollivander explained. "A very well balance wand at nine inches."

Sirius juggled the wand in his hand, testing its balance and weight, "I was actually hoping for smaller one. They are easier to conceal."

Ollivander watched the boy handle one of his favourite wands, though there were many, "The length depends on the wand's wood, core and the wizard that holds it, Mr Black. One must 'in rely on appearance solely."

"We obviously have different teachin'," Sirius muttered but he gave the wand a quick flick of his wrist and that little movement was enough to ignite the countertop with flames that only belong in a fire place. "Oh merlins…"

Ollivander quick put the flames out with his own wand and now the two looked down at the charcoaled looking countertop.

"I like it – gives it a bit of character," Sirius gave a weak smile at the older man. "A bit more antique, eh?"

The older man just kept on looking at the boy.

"Um…if I am payable reasonable for that, best you just add it to the cost of the wand because saying it's for damage property, Mother would just blame you and yak about defective wandmenship." Sirius rubbed the back of his neck with awkwardness. "I didn't do it on purpose, just so you know."

Ollivander waved his hand, "Of course not. Happens more than people think. I have good insurance to cover the cost. It is a wand that I need to find for you."

"Maybe one made for a typical Black? You know, something considered only for the purest witch or wizard?" Sirius tried to help.

"That matter little to wands," Ollivander told him as once again he shifted into the chaos mess of wands. "What matters is within the wizard, Mr Black."

"I believe plasma is considered to be within, Sir." Sirius replied with a bit of cheek.

"This one," Ollivander held out a wand. "An English Yew. Brilliant at ten inches and a quarter. Lovely handle and high gloss. The core is that of Unicorn."

Sirius looked down at the wand with a frown. "I just don't think this is the one, Sir."

"You won't know until you pick it up, dear boy." Ollivander encouraged him.

With a small smile, Sirius picked up the wand but felt nothing special about it. He gave the wand a flick and a great burst of cold wind cashed through the shop, toppling over shelves and even knocking the two wizards to the floor.

Ollivander used the touched counter to pick himself up off the floor. His hair was wildly windswept and his general appearance looked a bit alarmed.

"Sorry, Sir." Sirius gave him the wand back. "I did tell you though."

"I will find the wand for you, child." Ollivander gave the counter a tap with his three fingers before shoving off to find another wand.

"Perhaps something less horsy?" Sirius commented as he watched the older man go about his job.

"Dragon heartstring," Ollivander came out with another wand. "Your two cousins share this type of core though from different dragons."

"Joy." Sirius looked down at the wand with spite. "Why do you suppose this wand might work for me as similar cores worked for my oh so loving cousins?"

"The dragon heartstring is very temperamental," Ollivander returned the side comment that Sirius gave him earlier.

"Is that so?" Sirius smirked.

"You see, the Dragon heartstring wands are usually very powerful wands and I must say they are useful when dealing with the dark arts but they do not lean the master in that direction. They are quick to learn so thus sensible for those that are quick at learning," Ollivander held up his wand. "My own wand is Hornbeam, 12¾", dragon heartstring core. "

"That so?" Sirius looked at the wand with new wonderment. He slowly picked up the wand, a smile spreading on his young face. He gave a quick startled gasp as the wand's energy wisped through his fingers, hand and spreading over him and outwards. "I do like this wand."

"It suits you well, Mr Black." Ollivander smiled in approval. "12¾ bristlecone pine, unyielding. This wand is unique wand, I must say. It is from the limb of a most ancient tree if there ever was one. The 'Methuselah' which is nearly 5,000 years old. Resistant to what weakens around it and strong through tyrant weather, those are the secret to the long life of this tree."

Sirius smile grew as he looked at his wand. "That is a very ancient and noble tree, isn't it sir? Mother will be happy."

Ollivander smiled gently at the boy, slowly taken the wand from his hand and placing within its' box. "The wand picks the master, Mr Black. Not the family."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0

Sorting Hat

Hogwarts Sorting Hat. If he was anywhere but within Hogwarts, his mother would be mortified that this hat would be placed upon her pure-blooded son's head. It was dreadfully unpleasant looking. It had surpassed the expired look of being overused with a droopy rim and point that sagged. There were patch marks here and there and everywhere. The colour was to be brown, Sirius supposed but it was hard to tell that from the over wear but even so the colour was fading in spots and that was simple to see.

Sirius felt a quick, sharp jab in his side and the laughing voice of a new friend whispering in his ear, "She's calling your name, mate. Go on. People are starting to stare. It's only a hat, no need to be scared."

"I'm not scared!" Sirius turned a brief glare at his friend but James kept grinning, ignoring his words and gave Sirius a helpful push towards the stool and the hat. Sirius regained his balance and slowly made his way towards centre stage.

All eyes on him.

The Slytherins were grinning, so sure they will be presented with another Black. The Gryffindors rolled their eyes, whispering 'Not another Black, that's just great.' RavenClaws yawn as if knowing the answer already. Hufflepuffs looked on, waiting patiently for the new student to find his proper placement. No one saw the battle. No one heard the haunting words of 'all Blacks land in Slytherins'. No one felt the fear. No one felt the confusion. If they had, everyone would have been on the edge of their own seats in supposition. For Sirius Black was scared because this was not just a hat.

Not for Sirius Black. He wished he had James' sureness but he hadn't. This was a great turning point and Sirius would be making it on his own. All alone. One step and then another, it was all he could do. Place one foot in front of the other so not to bolt to the door. His throat felt tight, his mouth dry and his soul shivered. Where would he go? Gryffindor or Slytherin? It was black or white, there were no greys. No Ravenclaws. No Hufflepuff. It was one or the other and deep inside, Sirius knew. Slytherins would make his family happy but what would it make him? Will he follow in the prints left for him or verge to the unknown? Will he be everything he was brought up to be or would be his own? Gryffindor or Slytherin? Family or friends? Blood or tears?

Family. The Noble and Ancient Blacks. A proud lot if there ever was one. The blood that ran through Sirius veins were made by the finest wizards or witches, never tarnished by muggle tainted scarlet descents. Blacks watched out for each other even if it meant pulling others down to pull themselves up. Be the family's humanoid. If not, you faced the consequences. Be banished. Thrown out. Blasted out of the tree forever. Never to be existed. Scratch out. Never mentioned. Never to flash in a memory. Never to linger on their tongues with fondness. Never to be remembered. Dead to them. Never born.

The Sorting Hat could protect him from that hurt by placing him in the Slytherin House.

Or it could protect him from emptiness of a black core by letting him be himself and not by placing him in the Slytherin House.

Friends, would it even be possible to have friends if he was placed in another house other than Slytherin? His family would turn on him and anyone who dared stand near him. Would there be anyone strong enough to brace against that kind of storm? Would there be anyone strong enough to keep him from going mad from the constant battle of blood and tears?

'So which will it be?' The Sorting Hat whispered in his mind. 'Live the life of the Noble and Ancient Blacks or live the life of Sirius Black?'

'You are asking me?' Black's mind whispered back.

'It is your path after all,' the hat reminded him.

'B-but I don't know where to go,' Sirius eyes focused on the students' faces that now held a little more interest. How long had he been sitting on the stool with a hat upon his head. A minutes? Five? Ten? It was long enough for Bella and Cissy to exchange looks of uncertainty. Sirius glanced over at the boy that recently came into his life. James Potter. Would he be a life line?

'So it is for me? Very well, so it shall be. Only this one time will I be your voice….. "Gryffindor!" The hat cried out.

There was a hesitation from everyone. Sirius sat upon the stool, the words of the hat stunning him. Gyffindor students sat with their mouths gapped open. 'What? That can't be right!' whispered through the House of Slytherin. The Ravenclaws exchanged looks with each other with a shrugs of shock. The House of Hufflepuff, well they clapped. Because the 'just', the unprejudiced, is just that. Other houses, except for the Slytherin, followed in the choir of handclapping.

Sirius slowly moved off the stool. He glanced over at James', who beamed back at him with thumbs in the air. He turned towards the heated glares of his cousins, feeling their sting across the room. His grey eyes fell upon another cousin, Andromeda. She gave him a nod of approval and softly clapped her hands. A single tear traced her cheek yet she was smiling, she knew he was sorted correctly. He made the right path. One day, she will find his courage to stand tall and walk away from the craved formation of the Black's family steps.


	27. Chapter 27

"Welcome to the Broadcasting Live from Hogwarts, a Marauder's broadcasting hour." Peter greeted the guest. "We will be with you shortly but James is trying to light our heat with Sirius muggle things…"

"Matches," Sirius yelled. "They are called 'matches'."

"Whatever….," Peter rolled his eyes. "Our special guest is Regulus Black and our show will be taken place in the Potion Class because of Regulus."

"It's bloody cold down here," James muttered as he relit a match. "Stop blowing it out, Pads!"

Sirius grinned widely watching as James stroke another match. Prongs gave Sirius a quick glare before continuing to get a fire started.

"I wasn't about to walk into the Gryffindor's common room. That would be stupid and you know all about that, wouldn't you Pettigrew?"

"No need to get nasty," Remus frowned at the boy. "This is neutral zone that we all agreed upon. Let us make temporary peace, answer a few questions and be on our way."

"Or we can just get to the hexing," James pulled out his wand.

"I knew it! This is a trap!" Regulus pushed away from the desk he sat at, swinging his own wand out and pointing it at James. "I knew I shouldn't have listened to Lupin! Gryffindors cannot be trusted!"

"Says the lying snake," James shot back.

"Put the wands down both of you," Remus stood bravely between the two boys, holding out his hands of an unarmed man. "No one is going to hex anyone tonight, understand?"

"I don't mind hexing you to get to him," Regulus snared.

"Bloody hell, Remus - Get out of the way," James moved his hand to the left as he spoke.

"I'm just going to hide over here…" Peter said to know one in particular as he made way for a much larger desk away from the soon to be skirmish.

"Expelliarmus!" James and Regulus wands warped out of their hands and towards the lone figure in the door frame. All heads followed the direction of the wands so they now all stared at Lily Evans who now held three wands in her hand, one being her own. She crossed her arms and shook her red mane. "I knew you lot couldn't be trusted. As soon as I heard that Regulus would be joining, I knew I had to come down and watch over you as if you were nothing more than mere children."

"I love it when she takes control," James poked an elbow in Sirius shoulder as he admired Evans. Sirius rubbed his side and only glared back at Prongs.

"Don't temp me to use your wand against you, Potter." Evans let her emerald eyes turn towards James.

James just smiled back, pushing Peter aside, who just started to come back to the front lines, and pulled out a chair for Lily to sit down on, next to him of course.

Lily ignored the chair for the moment as she went about collecting the remaining wands from the wizards. She stood next to James and sighed heavily down at the chair. "I will come to regret this, I am sure." She said more to herself but still, sat down next to James.

Peter tried to sit on the other side of James but Sirius quickly slipped into the chair, grinning at Peter. Wormtail then looked over at the empty side of Lily, he gave a shrug of indifference and headed her way but before he could get there, Remus sat next to her. Now the dilemma was to sit next to Remus and Regulus or next to Regulus and Sirius. The exchanged glares of the brothers helped Peter decided that sitting between two Blacks was a wrong idea so in the end, he sat next Regulus and Remus.

"We are all gathered here nicely now," Remus looked at the faces of his friends and Regulus. He put the posts on a table that they all sat around. "Peter, we'll start with you reading the first post."

"If you are sure," Peter took the top parchment off the pile. "The first owl is from TheOtherR.A.B."

"Oi. Rabbi gets something special," James reminded the group and explained to Lily, not so much to Regulus. "We just started this idea that the first post gets something special. Last week we gave away Remus' scarf."

Lily looked at Remus, "That lovely maroon scarf? What are you going to use now?"

"James gave me one of his," Remus shrugged.

"Mine is thicker, much warmer," James whispered to Lily's ear. "He own was worn down. It had to go."

Lily now looked over at James who gave her a quick wink. "So who is ready to give something up? Regulus? Why don't you give our listener something? Maybe your soul so it's used as it should b—ouch." James rubbed the back of his head where Lily slapped him.

"Just when you show some kind of endearment, you screw it up by being insulting," Lily scolded James.

"I've got something to give," Sirius told the group. He pulled out a silk black handkerchief with red initials S.O.B. "It can mean doesn't mean son of a Black nor does it mean the other term. It is my initials, Sirius Orion Black."

"It hasn't been used, has it?" James wrinkled his nose.

"Don't be a stupid git." Sirius replied. "I wouldn't send it to our listener if it was used."

"It's a very nice gesture," Remus remarked putting it aside to send out later. "Please, continue with the post, Peter."

"Of course," Peter cleared his throat before starting again, "This post was from TheOtherR.A.B or more so, Rebecca…I don't think she would like the name Rabbi much, Prongs." Peter looked over at Lily, "He isn't good with names. Just so you know if you two ever decide on children."

"What?" Lily looked over at James who shrugged his shoulders in return. "Children? We are not even dating?"

"Whose fault is that?" James asked her. "I've been doing the asking and you keep answering wrong."

"And so not to change the subject but Rebecca's question is, 'Are you familiar with the Hunger Games books? If so, which marauder to you think would survive the longest in the arena?'"

"Oh I love that book!" Lily bent slightly forward to look over at Remus, "I loaned that very book to you not more than three months ago. Have you had the chance to read it?"

"I have, it's quite nice. Thank you for sharing it with me. I have to say that I do not agree wi…" Remus frowned as James cut him off.

"This isn't a book club," James told them. "I have to say that Remus' would probably make it. He's quite the animal at times."

"Funny," Remus sat back into his chair once more.

"I was being very serious about it," James told him. "I think Remus would make out very well in the battlefield. He has really good animal survival instincts, you know."

"I don't think he would do well at all," Regulus argued, daring a stare at Lupin. "In that type of arena one must always do what is best for one self. Just moments ago he stepped between me and Potter. How would that save him?"

"Good point," Peter agreed. James shot him a glare and Peter gave him a meek shoulder shrug, "Well…he does."

"Regulus," Sirius looked over at his brother. "He knows all about thinking about his own assets."

"And you don't?" Regulus asked. "Are you going to sit there and try to tell me that everything you do isn't for your own gain in some way? It's always about 'Sirius' and damn everyone else."

Sirius started to stand up but James put a hand on his shoulder. "Not now….too many witnesses. Ouch," James looked over at Lily, who slapped him once more.

"Again. You do the right thing and then turn around to unravel it with a wrong thing," Lily told him.

"I think James would do well in the arena." Peter spoke out. "I don't see James as looking out for himself…no, he's not like that Lily." Peter caught Lily rolling her eyes. "You don't know him like we do. He's smart and out of all of us, he quicker and athletic. I think that has a lot to do with a winner in Hunger Games."

"Well for what it's worth, I hate the idea of such an arena. People wanting to bring honour to the section but at the same time, while you are hoping and praying that they make it back you know the only way they will is if everyone else dies," Remus shared.

"The next post, if you will Regulus?" Peter nodded to the pile of parchment.

"Very well," Regulus leaned forward and plucked the next post off the pile. "This is from famousNoOne who says that she is offended with you Remus as someone asked how our relationship was going and you completely ignored it."

"That was a terrible night to do owl," Remus winced. "I blame James, naturally."

"I think I was at fault, I take his blame proudly," James grinned.

"I'm still happily involved," Remus answered the question he forgot last week.

"She continues in telling Sirius that if he would hex me then she will sneak into your room and cut off a tiny chunk of your hair. Small enough that you won't notice it but everyone else will." Regulus grinned as he looked over at his brother. "I almost want to be hexed by you."

"She didn't say anything about me hexing you," James growled.

Lily gave his knee a hard swat.

Sirius touched his lovely hair, just to make sure it was all there.

"To everyone, she asks if we like Doctor Who and if so, who is our favourite character and if not, we should watch it." Regulus shook his head. "I don't know who Doctor Who is but I must say that I find healers to be a bit of a bore. Don't get me wrong, they do a great job and are needed but to watch them work…"

"It is a muggle television show," Lily interrupted.

"Does it look like I do muggle things?" Regulus rolled his eyes.

"I never watched muggle television either." James admitted. "I do have to agree with Regulus, wait no I don't. Just pretend I wasn't saying a thing…"

"It's alright, I suppose." Peter answered. "I find it confusing…I mean, why do they want to travel like that?"

"I have seen it but I don't watch it any longer," Remus said. "There are a good many characters involved. Davros is one and I suppose Melody Pond would be another."

"I found Davros to be likable as well," Lily answered. "I also like Amy Pond."

"FamousNOone's next question is if we had to choose between being stuck alone in a black room for twenty-four hours and being alone in a white room for twenty-four hours, which would you choose?" Regulus read.

James leaned in towards Lily, pressing his shoulder against hers, "Will you be there to hold my hand?"

"Not at all," Lily didn't hesitate to answer him. She used one finger to poke him back in his own personal space.

"I don't know then," James clicked his tongue as he debating the thought in his mind. "I'd hate to be in complete darkness but at the same time…it might be more coming. Light is very pleasant, after all. Yet it does make one more vulnerable where darkness makes you melancholy, yet it does give you a stealth cover for protection. The question is similar to having your thoughts completely open for anyone to pick about or to have them completely sealed up, never to share with anyone. I'm going to pick light."

"If James' goes into the light, I shall as well," Sirius looked over at Remus, "What about you, mate?"

"In darkness everyone is the same but in light, every fault appears. I think I would pick darkness," Remus answered.

"As I," Regulus admitted. "Sometimes blindness is the better foe."

"I wouldn't like darkness," Peter took his turn to answer. "Things are less in light but larger in dark, if you know what I mean."

" FamousNoOne's last question is for use to pick one of these for a Marauder only…no Lily and not me either. Who would you: Marry, shag, and throw off a cliff?" Regulus read.

"I would um…," James looked at his friends trying to decide. "Honestly, it is the throwing off the cliff that has me stumped. I think I would actually like them to fight over me." Lily did crack a smile and roll her eyes which earned her a wink from James. "My….my who shall it be. I think I would share matrimony life with Remus, he is much more tolerable on most days of the week. I mess up, I can give him chocolate..."

"And empty promises that you will never see him again," Remus joked.

"Aye. Remus would go to his mother's home a few days and I'll shack up with….Sirius," James bit his lower lip before agreeing with himself. "Yeah, I'd do Sirius just because we probably have the same sex drive. He might be able to keep up. So…sorry Peter."

"You would toss me over just like that?" Peter blinked at James.

"I'd feel mighty bad about it though and I would probably teach you some kind of cushioning charm so the fall wouldn't really hurt you," James did offer.

"That would be a treat just to hear him scream the whole way down," Sirius laughed.

"Shut-up you," Peter scowled over at Sirius. "I'd toss James off then….no, I think I would Sirius."

"Why am I not surprise?" Sirius looked over at Remus.

"Because you a twit towards him?" Remus offered an answer.

"That could be it," Sirius agreed.

"I would probably marry Remus for the same reason as James' would and I'd shag James," Peter answered.

"I knew it!" Sirius stood up and pointed a finger at James.

"He had to answer, Sirius." James told Padfoot. "It's part of the question. He has to shag one of us and if I have to say something about it, you're getting the better deal."

"Oi!" Peter now glared at James.

"I suppose it is my turn?" Remus now looked at his friends carefully. "Sorry Peter, but I'd toss you as well."

"I am really feeling the love in this room!" Peter now looked seriously hurt.

"Sorry but maybe I could put a catching net below you? I don't want to see you hurt but I cannot live with you either. Not just two of us in a marriage." Remus patted his shoulder with sympathy.

"And why the bloody hell not?" Peter asked.

"You are a slob. A serious slob. You know we wouldn't be able to afford a house elf and you cannot expect me to spend all my time doing the cooking, the cleaning and trying to find income, now can you?" Remus explained. "As for shagging, I don't think we would enjoy each other's company in a more….romantic way, do you?"

Peter slumped in his chair, "Well if you put it that way…I suppose not."

"It comes down to shagging or marriage," Sirius opened his arms in a 'hit' me gesture.

"You I would shag and before you get all smug about it, it is only because you would be too clingy in matrimony," Remus quickly pointed out. "James would be off doing his Prongie-ness of Quidditch, stalking and whatnots so it would be easy to preform adultery behind his back without too many questions where you would be hounding me about where I was going all the time."

"So I give you space that you need, I put my faith and trust in you and you go about having an affair to repay me?" James raised his eyebrows, "We will be getting a pre-nub buddy."

"Evans, care to have a go?" Sirius asked.

Lily gave a slight nod, "I will play along. I think I would enjoy a marriage with Remus. He's kind and we I think we have a lot in common. Sirius I would push off a cliff and there are times I pictured doing the very thing. I suppose that would leave James and Peter for intimacy."

James grin widen, "And for that dare of going stark, you know what you will be getting into, luv."

Lily looked over at him with an open mouth and a blush coming to her cheeks.

"Ooohh, I think she is remembering, mate!" Sirius laughed at Lily's embracement.

"Remember? How could I forget? He did a table danced in front of me!" Lily pointed in James' direction.

"Obviously she would shag Potter and do nothing with….whatever his name is again," Regulus nodded in Peter's direction. "Can we go to the next question? I am regretting to agree to waste my time here."

"You have really bad manners," Peter pointed out.

Regulus stood up and Peter moved closer to Remus for protection.

"Please, sit down." Lily asked nicely to the younger boy. "There doesn't seem to be many questions this week so it shouldn't be much longer. Why not read the next question, Sirius?"

"Sure," Sirius took the next parchment from the top of the pile. "This is from our dearest Mary. She goes to say that she isn't sure if she should feel flattered or scared about our stalking abilities but apparently she is in good humour because she would like to test us by coming to one common answer to her question. 'Which house does she belong in?' If we choice incorrectly, we will be punished."

"What would that punishment be?" Remus asked.

"She doesn't say but I hope it involves whips and chains," Sirius grinned. "So what do we think?"

"Slytherin isn't she?" James asked. "Always see her about with Regulus. Had their heads together in the library once or twice. He hardly mingles outside of his House."

"They are the only ones that tolerate him," Sirius explained.

"Yeah, what is his name?" Peter asked, still hurt from when Regulus couldn't remember his name.

"Stop talking as if I am not here," Regulus glared at James and Sirius.

"Mary, our answer is Slytherin," Remus answered.

" Mary goes on to say that her friend Becca is not a fan of ours," Sirius rolled the parchment up in a ball, pressing it to his forehead and mock crying. "Where did we go wrong?"

"It was probably the suggestion that we stalk her," Remus smiled at Sirius' behaviour.

"Possibly," Sirius sniffled a bit. "So Mary says that Becca isn't owl friendly and will not ask us any questions. However she does say, this is Becca by the way….using Mary's parchment again, that I –Sirius Black that is, should stay away from her and never call her 'Luv' again as she is not my 'luv' and never will be and that she has no problems snogging a hippogriff before she would ever snog me. Becca belongs to A.S.S club – which James started to kicks…"

"I am not only the co-founder but I am also a member," James pointed out.

"I will be kicking his arse later, no doubt. Um where was I? Oh she goes about threatening the Black jewels and I would never be able to have a family of my own. Isn't that just a bit harsh? I do wish to have children of my own but with a pure blooded muggle. When I say 'luv' I'm not using it as James use on Evans. It is more of a friendly kind of 'luv' and doesn't mean that we are sharing any kind of relationship. Now back to Mary. She congratulats you Peter in breaking a window. Appearntly there is a broken window club and she is welcoming you so…I guess you are a member now."

"A club! That's brilliant! Fancy that! Do I get a pin? How about members' meetings? I'd love to attend to something this lot isn't involved in," Peter smiled most joyfully. A club. Wow.

"It looks as if each Window Breaking member receives a cookie and anyone not in the club, also receives one. Except for Regulus, he doesn't get any at all." Sirius said.

"I doubt that," Lily scornfully looked over at Sirius, "There are enough cookies for everyone, including Regulus to have a cookie."

"No, there wouldn't be any for you." Sirius pointed out.

"I wasn't an invited guest which he was so he will be getting a cookie." Lily stated.

James broke his half off and handed over to Evans. She took it; it was soft and gooey after all.

"Fine. Have your bloody cookie but if you choke don't expect me to save you." Sirius slammed the cookie down in front of his brother. "To continue with Mary's letter, she ask what is our opinion of anarchism?"

"It is rubbish," James quickly answered. "Idealism without reality, that is what is comes to. Without a type of government, your society has no backbone to hold itself up. All through history, of every organ there has been leadership. Even insects will work with a type of government, if you think about it. Primates, even humans, can be complex social animals. We are very good at cooperative behaviour. Nevertheless, dominance hierarchies are deeply ingrained in most primate species. Even in small social groups with very loose and informal social interaction, there's usually an alpha male."

Without a government, you have no prediction of how others will act within society. Anarchism tries very hard to conjure up an ideal of humanity, which is a noble ideal no doubt, that we are able to live together in peace, harmony and mutual co-operation without the need for social coercion or a rule of law. The shift from pre-modern to modern is simply characterized by the nature of that 'rule', namely, from tribal, clan, monarchy, nobility, and aristocracy. "

"What happens if you take an law and order away from society?" Sirius added, "You get riots, murders, robberies, and vandalism. If you want a peaceful society that remains civil, you need a government. It's not as if human beings emerged from the cave and then discovered the empty pre-fabricated institutions of society waiting for them, which then eternally corrupted them. We humans have socially constructed the society in which we live, we have created the institutions of society and continue to develop them. Society is therefore a manifestation of human nature which is perpetuated by the process of socialization through the institutions of the family and education."

"Please, I beg you – move to the next question!" Peter whined. "Politics will kill us all in the end no matter its type."

"Fine um…okay here is the next question from Mary," Sirius read from the letter. "She would like to know our most awkward conversation that we had with a girl."

"Oh, well there was a moment I mistook took a well-rounded witch for being pregnant while Mum was entertaining the family," James explained. "It was desert time and clearly the lass wanted another take of Mum's cream pie and who was to blame her? The pie was excellent that day. I told her to have another slice and to make it grand, no shame. That she was eating for two now. I proceeded to ask if she had picked out any names yet."

"You didn't!" Lily covered her mouth.

"I did and my father was polite enough to tell a lie as he told them that my glasses were an older prescription and that I had lost my newer lens." James went on. "I am sure once they thought it over they would realize that father would had easily charmed my glasses to the proper fitting."

"Did she take another piece?" Sirius asked.

"It hardly matters, does it?" Lily scolded Sirius.

"No. She didn't but she kept a close company to her wine glass all evening." James told them. Looking directly at Lily he added, "I did apologies several times but I think that made it worse."

"I think my awkward conversation was with Heather Joslyn, the Ravenclaw I dated at the end of last term," Sirius put on a stupid grin. "She said that we never talked and all we ever did was snog. So we went to the library, for the lack of distraction you see and tried to have a deep conversation in a whisper. There was a lot of silent awkwardness in that. We eventually found out that the only thing we did have in common was we both were great at kissing and proceeded to find a dark corner for perfect our art."

"The awkward conversation I remember is that with Lily in our first year," Remus looked over at Lily to see if she remembered.

"Was it when I was speaking out loud of any idiot who is friends with Black and Potter isn't much better?" Lily asked.

"Yes and I declared that I was one of those idiotic friends," Remus answered. "And there was a long silent pause before I told you that I would see you in charm."

"Yes and we both moved quickly away from each other," Lily grinned.

"If you were to use a time- turner what would you try to change?" Sirius asked the group. "Another question from Mary."

"That day on the train where I first insulted Snape," James voiced out. "Wait, no. It was the second day that I verbally insulted Peeves. No, that wasn't as bad as the third day when I insulted Slughorn. Oh I know, I felt really bad that fourth week of our first year when I insulted Hagrid. Then again, I really hate not being able to take a private shower without Myrtle hanging about. I think that would be the day I would change. First time I was nice to a ghost, it ruined me."

"I think for me, I'd go back to my first arrival. I think I would have told the Marauders about my misbehaved rabbit earlier." Remus admitted. "They really have been a great help with that situation, more so than I would have ever imagined."

"I haven't got a day I would need to go back to change," Sirius declared.

"You sure about that?" Regulus answered.

"Very. And you?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing," Regulus answered.

"You sure?" Sirius provoked.

"Positive," Regulus confirmed.

"Fine," Sirius leaned back in his chair.

"Fine," Regulus glared.

Everyone exchanged side glances, wondering if a silent trigger was pulled.

"They say that every experienced awkward silence, a Squib is born," James told the group. It earned him a rib jolt from Lily.

"Well I would change the moment I said my good-bye to my sister in my first year. I wish we were closer in our relationship," Lily explained. "I would had loved to left in better terms."

"Was that why you were crying on the train?" James asked.

"You noticed? I thought you were only concerned about who was being placed where," Lily looked mildly surprised.

"I thought you had a drought of home sickness," James explained.

"I've got nothing to change," Peter quickly answered as it seemed they had forgotten he was there.

"Mary ends her letter with, 'P.S: Reggie thanks for the help in potions class! Please don't help them to find out from which house I belong since you already know. She will speak with you later and she sends you another cookie." Sirius placed the cookie on the bare floor and kicked it over to him. "Enjoy."

"My turn with a letter," James took the top note off the pile. "This is from RandomFandom who wishes to give Remus a virtual high five for the Les Misérables comment."

Remus turned towards Lily, "Will you step in for Random and be my virtual buddy?"

"Sure," Lily laughed and held up her hand for a 'high five', which they did indeed do.

"So Random's question is this, 'If you had the option of working on a tiger ranch as in a book that she is reading, would you do it? I, for one, totally would. I laugh in the face of danger. HAHAHAHAHAAA! She also says that she approves of UpToNoGood's idea. It really would make you look good, and the poor Slyth might even be funny!" James looked towards the lovely girl at his side, "Are we looking good Evans?"

"Not quite but it is an improvement," Lily admitted.

"I cannot say that I wish to work on a tiger ranch. A dragon colony would be far more appealing," James answered.

"I'd like it," Remus told them. "Are you reading 'Claws', Random?"

"I love felines," Lily eyes grew with the idea, "It would be a learning experience to do something like that."

"Speaking about felines," James plucked a loose cat hair from Lily's shoulder, "That new cat you got keeps finding our dorm. It wouldn't be so bad but Peter is allergic and she likes to sleep on my back, after tearing her claws into my skin."

"She is allowed to free roam at Hogwarts and there is a potion Peter could take," Lily now sounded a bit brisk. "As for going to your dorm, I have heard that Remus and Sirius sprayed catnip on your beddings."

James looked stunned at his friends.

"We had your best interest at heart, Prongs!" Sirius held up his hands in defence.

"How?" James wanted to know.

"We thought that you would take the cat back to Lily," Remus laughed. "Though we forgot wizards cannot go up the witches' stair case!"

"Laugh it up, gents! Mine, best watch your backs!" James warned.

"Best wash your own first," Lily cooed playfully.

"That's cute," James really meant that. "The next post is from UptoNoGood who writes, that there is great gladness that Sirius and I haven't found UPtoNogood. All we can say is that Remus is doing his best to protect you but Sirius and I are still looking. UpToNogood goes on to ask two questions, Have you ever been given Veritaserum? Regulus, do you like being called Reggie? Does everyone call you that or just some special people?"

"Sirius first called me that when we were younger. There are a few close friends that also call me Reggie but for the most part it is, Regulus." Sirius' brother answered. "Do I like to be called Reggie? No. I once did but things and times changes doesn't it? I no longer prefer it."

"For the next question, Veritaserum. For those who do not know it is a truth serum that is used often in interrogations. Marauders have been threatened a million times to have it dumped in our throats and James even volunteered himself to take that stuff in potion lessons but that is as far as it went." Remus told the reviewers.

"Oh I didn't volunteer," James side glanced at the smiling red headed girl next to him. "My arm was charmed to rise above my head. I volunteered to go with it instead of calling out and getting Lillian in trouble. I didn't want to tarnish her perfect reputation."

"That was very mature of you," Lily admitted. "And it is either Lily or Evans, not Lillian."

"So…does that mean you will go out with me?" James asked.

"No." Lily took a paper from the table. "My this one is quite long. It reads, 'Hey its starlight again I don't know why you got upset, you won't let me call myself Sirius. Siri is such a quite nickname."  
"It was too confusing in knowing which Sirius we were speaking about," James explained.

"Remus you jerk you stole my babes' candy I am so not talking to you. Just for that since I know you will read my letter, you always do it was charmed to flood James Sirius and Peters bed with their favourite candy but not you. No, you dear Moonywill watch in horror as you bed fills with candy that you can't touch. This is to both let Reggie have some that is not Siri's and prank you. Hi Reggie how are you. " Lily looked over at the boys for a response.

"James will let me have some of his candy," Remus pouted.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking," Regulus replied.

Lily continued, "Reggie what do you think about the cold war in your house. Do you still love Sirius? What happened to your family in your own words? Will you come to me and Sirius' wedding? Did you know Cindy thinks you are cute. How much younger are you then Siri."

"It has surpassed a cold war terms," Regulus said quite honestly, "Do I still love Sirius? Currently, yes he is my brother after all yet with that love there is also a great passionate hatred which I believe he shares. What happened to our family? Sirius screwed up, that's what happened."

"Because I have a backbone to stand up to what I really believe?" Sirius fumed.

"Will I come to your wedding? Sirius declares to Mother that he is to wed a muggle and if that is the case, no. And again, No. I had no idea Cindy thought I am cute. How much younger am I to Sirius? I am merely younger than one and a half years."

"And a life time of intelligence," Sirius muttered. "If you would just have enough sense to stay out of things you have no understanding."

"Sirius," Lily interrupted, "Starlight would like to know if you are ready for our date? She has got the greatest red dress for Saturday. She always listens to your three am broadcast. Even that time I slept over in Lily's room, I can vogue for that. She would like to know if she could sleep over at yours sometime? So who would you pick for your best man when we get married? Reggie OR Jamie?"

"No," James shook his head. "We aren't having any birds sleeping in our nest. Even with a silencing charm, it won't happen. Unless everyone has a play mate…" James looked over at Lily.

"No," Lily shook her head.

"I bet that was your first word," James joked.

"I am ready for the date. I am sure you will look splendid in red. A true Gryffindor colour. James would be my best man at any wedding that I may have in the far future." Sirius winked over at James.

"Far far future, aye?" James smiled back.

"Gotta play before settling down," Sirius shrugged.

"Peter," Lily looked over at the boy with a cookie in a hand towards him, "She hasn't anything for you but you do get another cookie. The spell, 'finite' will clear up your candy coated bed so you can sleep well. James, she would like to know if you are excited about our date?"

"The double date," James smiled at Lily, "Very excited."

"Everyone else who do you think is more excited me who has admired Sirius from afar since I saw him proudly march across a dead silent great hall to take his RIGHTFUL place at Gryffindor or James who for some reason likes Lily." Evans frowned, "That's a bit mean."

"James! To be honest, we hear more about it from him than from you," Peter answered honestly.

" Star would like to know what made you fall for me," Lily looked at James with flush cheeks.

"You were helping a first year that took a tumble down the stair case that might have been my fault. She had skinned up her knee and you knelt down at her side, drying up her tears," James told her. "Your emerald eyes held pure compassion for her wellness. That is when I fell for you, Miss Evans."

Lily had a smile when she turned back to her page, "Star fell in love with Sirius when Bella did what she did and yet, Sirius stayed isn't you brother awesome?"

"Cannot say I share that opinion," Regulus answered flatly.

"Star goes to say that she had read some sicko made a fanfic that well let's just say if you were female you would be carrying Siris baby instead of me. I should get Sirius baby not you share him dangit. Reggie! Sirius you really should be with me because think about it there is me then your brother. Do you really want to embrace inbreeding that much?" Lily read.

"James! You twat! Stop telling people the Blacks are embred!" Sirius wolfed.

"B-but you are! Cousins! Alright, twice removed …sure….but cousins all the same!" James argued. "The whole lot is mad because of it!"

"Oh my….um, she asks of Remus, can wizards get each other pregnant with magic?" Lily smiled over at Remus.

"No. I am happy to say that it must be done the physical way." Remus laughed out.

"Star goes to say that she can hook you up with a guy, Peter." Lily looked over at him.

"That's alright," Peter shook his head. "She scares me."

" James I was going to send you slugs for your bed instead of candy but your helping Sirius fall in love with me Right?" Lily looked over at James.

"I agreed to force him on a date, not the falling in love part. I have no control of that. Please, leave the slugs where they are."

"Star would like you to explain why she is a better choice than you for Sirius." Lily read.

"Ah….well because Sirius and I like girls," James answered

"What do you think Reggie, Snape or James for Lily, is Star's next question," Lily read. "Though I would like to have say in who I date not let someone else decide for me."

"I could care less who she dates," Regulus answered truthfully.

"Star goes to say that Remus, she will replace your breakfast with chocolate to make up for tonight we are friends after all."

"That is very kind of her." Remus replied.

"She than ask of everyone, who would you rather date Star or Lily and why." Lily frowned. "She can have the lot of you. No need to answer that question. Between studies and perfect duties, I really haven't got the time to juggle in a relationship. Star ask if you can explain your sorting and how you met your best friends who they are and Reggie to if you want, your enemies how did that happen?"

"The sorting has been asked before and we are getting around to explaining it in more detail. Perhaps we will do the friendship one as well as it is much easier to have it a segment of it's own. When it comes to it, we were simply at the same spot at the right time for the proper introduction." James answered. "Still, we shall work on that in more detail at a later date."

"That wraps up the broadcasting. We thank everyone for the great questions and to our guest, Regulus and Lily, a pleasant surprise, luv." Sirius winked playfully at the redhead.

"Keep them coming and we will do best to answer all of them but of course sometimes a question can be over look, just bear with us and ask it again!" Peter told the listeners.

"Now I have a few hours of Qudditch practice and then a date," James said. "Cheers!"


	28. Chapter 28

Terribly sorry for the dreadful delay but I was forbidden to have a life whether it be in the real world or digital for two weeks. Atlas, I am free to write once more…or was and then as I started to write this up, it all happened again but for a different reason. As they say, when it rains it pours but do not fret – it was all my doing so I must face my punishment. What I have learned through my um…incarceration is that secrets will only remain a secret if you tell no one at all. This bit is a wee rushed as it is very late in my world and things to do in the morning. Sorry – I beg for your forgiveness and please be assured that I continue to love all the witty reviews.

**On other notes**: **FamousNoOne** will be hosting a broadcast starring: **Tracy, Lily, Marlene and Alice**. That broadcast will be posted on **this story's chapter** but not by my hand so it shall be very interesting! I shall make appoint to send her a question as well . The Marauders **will still** have their chapter but separate. If you have any questions for those girls, you may **post them in the review** as you do now just **address them or pm FamousNoOne** personally. Anyone else interested in hosting a broadcast special, just pm so we can discuss.

* * *

"Hello to all that have ears and that are listening to us on this fine night," James cheerful voice casted through the air waves. "Sorry for the delay in our broadcast. We ran into a bit of a problem what since then it has been dissolved."

"You mean, resolved." Remus corrected him.

James shook his head, "No, I do mean dissolved. Like a big sponge soaking all our problems up and poof – they are gone."

"B-but he's still here!" Sirius pointed to the floor of their dorm, a downward direction. Don't be confused, tis not the direction of the gates of Satan's wonderland Sirius had pointed towards but one floor above its fiery pit, the Slytherins hall.

"Well, yes I suppose not all of our problems but more so the simple ones that usually go away on their own," James agreed. "That oil spot is still spoiling the castle's interior."

"Much post for this night's broadcast, gentlemen. We have much to do before we call it a day's end, " Peter fanned the letters out. "We received messages from Syd, Rebecca, Sirius J Potter, Josh (Sombreros are cool), Mary, RandomFandom, UpToNoGood, tingtangwalawala, Elizabeth, Moonuniversal, and ImNotOkay."

"Very good," Remus admired the one of the letters. "I like how this person took time to write in multicolours."

"Oi, a birthday greetings to Prongs and to Remus!" Sirius held up a letter. "From Rebecca. A bit late in reading but Becca, rest assure James and Remus received it on time."

"Deviously good cake," James grinned. "I shared with this lot. I couldn't help it. They were giving me the dog eye and I'm such a soft hearted lad."

"You made me beg," Remus scorned over his James. "On my knees, hands clasped together and say 'world handsome Quidditch player in the world' kind of begging."

"Still I shared where you slinked into the darkest corner of Hogwarts to have your own cake to yourself, selfish prat!" James declared.

"You made me confess an unnaturally dying love for Myrtle," Sirius whispered harshly. "And how I couldn't wait until death would unite us in the same u-bend."

"And you made me give up ALL of my sweets…to you!" Peter accused.

"And you lot got cake, didn't you? Very good cake, it was." James tossed his pillow over at Peter and returned their glares of his other two friends.

"You ate all the icing off of our piece!" Remus threw him a disgusted face.

"That is a bloody lie!" James said rather heatly. "I took it off the entire cake. I'm not fond of cake icing."

"But we are!" Sirius pointed at himself.

"But it was my cake," James told them. "And I want it the way I like it. It wasn't like I was going to share when I took it off anyways. That was an afterthought."

"How nice," Peter rolled his eyes.

"I love your 'kind' heart," Remus snarled.

"It was double chocolate!" Sirius told James. "You bloody know we all love chocolate!"

"To totally change the subject, Evans also remembered it was my birthday as she gave me birthday wishes," James told them.

"She only remembered because you told her four times the previous day and you wore the birthday crown hat." Sirius told him. "You looked totally stupid. I spread a rumour that Remus hexed it upon your head just to save face."

"And once more you have successfully deflated my hopes," James now gave him a disgusted look. "A dear friend you are."

"Don't be lacking the icing, mate." Sirius shrugged.

"First letter is from Syd, which we do give away things still am I right?" Peter asked.

"Yes and I'll be parting with something this time," James opened his trunk to rummaged through. "Here!"

"A book?" Peter blinked at the book within James' hand.

"Yes! A book!" James beamed.

"'Dogs Behaving Badly'," Sirius read the title.

"Yes. Didn't do me a lot of good so I'm passing it on," James placed the book on the bed. "I'll be sending it your way Syd."

"In utter madness, Syd ask this 'If each house mascot came to life and learned how to talk, which would you be most likely to befriend? Also, in a battle for supreme rule of Hogwarts, who would be on your team? Positions are: The leader, the sidekick, the inventor, the femme fatal, the sarcastic jerk, The Wildcard.'"

"I so want to be the femme fatal!" Sirius threw his head back to allow his curls to flow behind his back. "I could pull it off."

"You're a bit stuck between the sarcastic jerk which I do admire and the wild card which I find freighting," James told him. "I am a born leader, it is obvious."

"No I think Remus is more of the wild card than myself," Sirius winked over at his friend. "He's wild streak is much more…raw."

"Touché," James agreed.

"And Pete," Sirius looked over at their smiling friend. "He's the Robin to Batman."

"Next birthday, I'm asking for a Potter Cave." James told them. "As for Mascots, the Gryffindor Lion. How lovely would that be, eh?"

"If you don't become a snack. I wouldn't mind the Raven. I think it would co-exist with my persona having it perched on my shoulder," Sirius brushed his shoulder.

"I pick the Raven was well," Peter piped. "I don't really like snakes, badgers are nasty and lions aren't to swell either."

"But we are to be friends with them," James explained. "They are to like us and we to like them so it's like a free pass from being eaten."

Peter shrugged, "Nevertheless, I shall be keeping the raven at my side."

"I'm not sure. A lion would be interesting but so would a badge. In fact, getting to know all of them would be a terrific learning experience." Remus admitted.

"Yawn," James mocked. "Next question is….Lovely Rebecca! She thanks you, Pads for the cloth tissue. Um…so Becky ask about zombies. This is her question, 'If there was a zombie apocalypse, would you stay and defend Hogwarts or go home and protect your family? Second, describe your craziest pair of socks. Finally, when you guys hang out, do you EVER run out of things to do or talk about. Like, are you ever sitting there bored because you can't come up with anything to do?' Now the zombie question is based on our Zombie Right debate previously. So what would you do? I for one would probably… well that is a bit touch isn't it. I think I would stand and fight wherever I am at. If I am home, there. At Hogwarts, I'd be fighting there."

"I'd stay here," Peter admitted more so because there were more experienced fighters at Hogwarts than at his home. Safety in numbers and all that.

"That is a difficult question! See I would want to help defend my friends and fellow students here at Hogwarts but on the other hand, I would not think it would be wise for my family to become a part of the living dead society. Their hearts are too cold now," Sirius frown at the heating stove in the centre of their dorm. "In all honestly, I'd probably stick it out here."

"I'm siding with James. I'd be where I am the most useful." Remus told them. "As craziest socks, I've got a bright orange pair that I like."

"All mine are tailored for my feet," Sirius admitted. "So nothing absurd. Sorry to disappoint."

"I've got monkeys on mine," Peter pulled up his trouser legs to show them to everyone.

"Yes they are monkeys." Remus confirmed.

"I've got nothing." James admitted. "Just cotton. Bright colours on the bottoms and white on top or black or grey. When I was younger I had a pair of troll socks. They were to mimic the feet of trolls and I'd go about pretending to be one, doing silly things and grunting a lot. Lily has a lovely pair of long socks that have rings of colour. I now ask my fans, what is your craziest pair of socks?"

"That would be our fans," Sirius mimicked a cough.

"As do we ever get have nothing to say to each other? Yes. It does happen and it is common. It is the reason why we do associate outside of our group and we do have our little thing that we don't do together. Remus belongs to a book club. James has Quidditch. I've got the broom closets and Peter has um…that window breaking club."

"Got a badge," Peter showed it to the group proudly his circled badge that named him for breaking a window during his wand fitting. "I'm going to try to put a meeting together."

"To do what? Break more windows? It'll land you in detention," Sirius warned him.

"I'm not stupid," Peter looked rather crossed. "I don't plan on breaking any windows or stuff like that. Just good times."

"There are times when we have quiet moments. Usually reading or doing our homework and not saying a word," Remus added. "But we are together and it is in silence."

"And it is boring," James picked up the next letter. "This is from S.J.P or Star. If you remember dear viewers, Star had me blackmail Sirius into a date. Like all dates, you date one you should make room for three more. However we are men," James looked around the room at his friends.

Sirius grunted, bounced his fist on his chest.

Remus sat up a bit straighter, chin up but eyes still on his book.

Peter used toxic gas to show his manly charms.

"And we don't go about discussing dates. If you would like to know more about it, send an owl to Sirius J Potter to request that she make a short chapter about our lovely time," James grinned boldly, not doubting that anytime with him would be poorly spent. "I must admit that Remus in a chocolate bubble was a bit heavy to carry down to the hospital wing, please don't' do it again. Though that candy was tasty it was a bit much and we couldn't get through it.

We are a bit intrigued of how you, Ms Star am aware of Sirius' cologne missing and how my bed curtain got a bit tangled oddly and how Remus' trunk was overturned and his socks recovered after being missed for a week and how my lovely Quidditch towel had gone missing but only to be found in Myrtle's bathroom? It's very all…." James snapped his fingers as he thought of the word on his tongue.

"Curious?" Peter asked helpful as he briefly lifted his head up from his studies.

"No. More suspicious then curious," James answered him.

"I wouldn't think too much about it," Remus nodded towards the owl in James' hand. "Rather it be someone we know or don't, there is not much we can do now."

"Reading Josh's owl," Sirius waved the parchment about. "I have discovered that Josh is now free. I am very aware of the freedom feeling. It was his study courses that had held him up. He ask of you, Prongs to pick one or the other. Either change places with a Fluffy Unicorn for a day or Severus Tobias Snape for one day."

"Good question, that is. A creature of beauty or a creature of atrocious. If I pick Snape, I could whole heartily humiliate him while everyone believes that I am he. However, changing places is the hidden trick. If I were to be him – he would become me. That is rather nasty thought to have in one's mind. I don't trust him with my body, he'd do something that would scar this handsome face or cut my hair! I am going to pick the Unicorn. I feel that is a safer decision."

"A horse wouldn't know what to do with your body," Remus laughed at the thought.

"Sure. That is the truth but still to have myself poisoned with Snape's soul is not something I am willing to decide upon. It is the horny horse for me!" James proclaimed.

"For you Remus," Sirius flung a long lock of hair from his face so he could look at Remus' clearly. "Can you, for one day only, survive on becoming illiterate?"

"For just one day?" Remus asked to be sure.

"Yes. Just the one day," Sirius studied the parchment. "Not a bit longer or shorter than one day."

"Then yes. Yes I could," Remus answered. "I've done worse for one night I think I could manage that."

"And you Peter?" Sirius asked looking down at the question.

"No problem," Peter waved the question off. "I'd have no problems with that."

"No doubt but that isn't your question," Sirius told him. "Your question is, would you rather give up your ability to eat anything or say anything for a day?"

"Oh. Well I think speaking is what I'd give up," Peter answered honestly. "But probably not for the reasons why you lot must think. For the reason that no one listens to me anyways."

"Boo-hoo," James rolled his eyes. "Get on with it, Pads."

"Aye. My question is if I would rather give up my wand or my hair for a day? To be without hair or without magic," Sirius twirled a lock of hair round his finger idly. "I'd give my hair up before I give up magic. Magic to our kind is like air."

"Great questions, Josh." Peter beamed, "Our next letter is from Mary! I must say that I found your April fools prank to be very entertaining."

"When he says entertaining what he really means is that he got to your post and told us that the chocolates were a gift. He then allowed us to eat it while keeping the prank a secret from us and found it highly amusing as our hair grew and grew and grew longer and into multi-colours," James gave a weary expression.

"I blame us," Sirius pointed to his chest. "He had only one, which he pretended to nibble on but never touched it to his lips. If we were more observant and not so much absorbed in our studies, we would have noticed his odd behaviour."

"As I said, Mary. You prank we well played," Peter gave his friends a smug smile. "Now with the post. If you remember we, the Marauders had to prove to Mary of our stalking abilities or more so James'."

"I'm a super-hero," James grinned.

"More a super-villain. Good guys don't stalk, Prongs." Sirius looked over at Remus. "Am I right?"

"Very much, I think." Remus confirmed.

"We had to come up with one answer that we all agreed upon in stating which house Mary was sorted into. Our answer, Slytherins. Mary knowledge that it is the correct answer." Peter told his friends.

"I am a genius," James patted his own back. "Good job James."

Sirius tossed his study book at James.

"Don't be scruffin' the books," Remus scolded Sirius.

"And me?" James asked him.

"I'm sure a daily beating is good for Qudditch," Remus shrugged indifferently.

James pushed his glasses up a bit, "You say that but I know you love me and would go mad if I were harmed in any sort of way."

"We can challenge your theory?" Remus looked over at Sirius and nodded in James' direction, "Hurt him."

"Gladly," Sirius bounced off his bed and ambled over to James' own, cracking his knuckles as he did so.

"I'll have you neutered!" James' warned him, backing up and off the bed to keep a distance between himself and Padfoot.

"Be afraid, Prongs." Sirius growled turning into a dog while lurching forward to sink his teeth into James' trouser leg.

"Bloody hell get off!" James shook his leg which caused Sirius to whip his head back and forth and causing him to growl even more. James smoothly turned into his stag and freed himself from Sirius' mouth. Sirius circled James slowly, baring his teeth. Prongs lowered his massive antlers, which have been strong enough to push a full grown, aggressive werewolf around.

The two collided in union, clashing their animal bodies together. Sirius' canines bit into James' throat in play as James bore his horns down onto Padfoot's lower ribs.

A quick rap at their door caused them to break it up just before Lily' poked her head through the door. She looked at the group quite tiredly, blinking back the mess. "What on earth is going on? We can hear you lot clear across the common room. You sound like a pack of animals."

"Just funnin'," James, in his wizard form gave a small shrug.

"We'll try to keep it down, luv." Sirius told her.

"I would hope so," Lily gave each of the boys a dark look. "It's late and normal students would like to get some rest." She gave Remus' a pointed look, clearly suggestion with her mind power that he should keep his mates under a tighter rope. Yet, Remus never claimed to understand women mind control so he blinked blankly at her, causing her to sigh and roll her eyes before shutting the door behind her.

"She's looks great all bed frizzled," James was grinning with a glaze in his eyes until Padfoot smacked the back of his head.

"Pull yourself together," Sirius barked. "We've got letters. Letters!"

"Oh, right!" Peter, who was watching the mock battle of canine and stag, took the parchment back up. "Um….where was I? She sent me a pin, which I love by the way. Um… The question Mary had asked last time about wands was for homework research…."

"We are always glad to help with that," Remus quickly added.

"No. I can't say I feel that way," Peter corrected him. "Oh, here is the questions. Do we find it wrong to throw someone from the second floor? Even if that greasy git was eavesdropping a very private conversation and was threatening to blackmail someone? That blackmailer may have taken up temporary accommodations at Pomfrey's currently but he just broke an arm and he won't be able to remember a thing about his flying without a broom experience, what a shame… she goes to say that he could have used a defensive spell and that she would not change what she had done."

"If someone is black mailing you, by all means toss them over the side!" Sirius told the microphone, even pointed his index finger at it. "Because no one deserves to have their private information held against them and used against them for someone's personal gain! That greasy git needs to keep his gargantuan nose out of a person's private business. He should worry about his own self not myself or Remus' self or anyone else's self!"

"Yes well, I think Sirius speaks for us all on that matter," James eyed Sirius just in case he self-combusted.

"That twit is always sneaking 'bout, trying to get everyone in trouble to make him look good," Sirius spat.

"Not even a beauty charm will do that," James joked.

"Back to Mary, she says that if Lily would blame you for anything related to Snape's injuries that you, Prongs should send her straight to Mary so she can sort it out," Peter told him.

"Anything?" James grinned. "As like me knocking him in the throat so he can breathe like a fish?"

"She doesn't give rules," Peter shrugged. "But she does go on to ask if we were born a squib, how would your life be and what job would you perform without magic?"

"I think it would be um…very mugglish without magic," James answered. "But Mum and Dad would continue to love me no matter. I wouldn't have met this lot, however and that I would have hated. As for employment, I think I would be a professional snowboarder…but still marry Lily because our souls are united."

"In a curse, I'm sure." Sirius muttered. "Um…I think I would be sent to an orphanage far away from London so I could never be attached to the name 'Black'. All the records of my existence would be destroyed. I would drop out of the family tree and eventually find the theatre and make a living as a thespian of the stage."

"Like James, my parents would support me no matter if I had magic or not. I think I would like to be a museum director though. It would be very fascinating to have a house of history to share with the world," Remus fell back onto his mattress. "I think it would be rather nice in that."

"And you, Pete?" James asked.

"Dunno," Peter shrugged. "Maybe just be muggle like. Or write a book about all the magic I do know and not be actual part of it. Mary's next question is if we have ever played Mario Kart as it is an amazing game."

"What is this amazing game?" James asked very curiously. "Does it involve flying? Defeating dark wizards? Does it have magic swords? Hidden secrets? Is there strategy? Does the good guy get the girl?"

"I haven't heard of this game either," Sirius looked over at Remus and Peter who shrugged.

"You'll have to inform James', Mary of the Kart game. Oh, Mary didn't like how you gave Reggie a dorky cookie so you get nothing this go." Peter told him. "Well, except for that prank of chocolates."

"You'll never let us forget that, will you Wormy?" James asked the other.

"Nope," Peter shook his head.

"Our next question is from RandomFandom," James gave a long, loud whistle. "Wow, this is a hard question. I don't like it at all. Random's question is, if we were placed in a life and death situation and we can only save one marauder, which Marauder would you save."

"I don't like that question either, can we skip it?" Peter asked.

"We may have too as I don't know how to answer it," Sirius frowned.

"If it helps, I would tell any one of you to save someone else besides me," Remus told them. "That would narrow your choice down to two."

"Honestly, Moony. If we hadn't listened to your reason thus far in life, what makes you believe we would do so in the future?" James asked him. "I honestly can say that I could not live with making that choice. I would die trying to save you all. I would not be able to wake up in the morning if I hadn't tried. I just could not pick. My conscious would not allow it."

"You lot have more to give to society and more to gain of life than I so…" Remus started to explained.

"Just don't go there. We do get tired of you dumping upon yourself. I would hate myself and I would go mad but I do think I would pick James to save first. Now saying that, I would then try to go back and save you two as well." Sirius sighed. "I even hate saying it."

"I think I probably would do the same, Prongs." Remus looked rather guilty.

"Yeah, me too." Peter slumped down.

"Oi! What a selfish lot you are! How about me?" James asked. "Have you ever considered how I may feel if any one of you saved me and not another? I'd hate it. I'd wish I was dead. By saving me you would destroy me."

"As you said, it was not an easy question." Sirius looked away, not wanting to make eye contact. "We feel guilty for even saying whom we would pick over the other."

"UptoNogood has asked why you two still want to hex when the idea of a Sytherin in our broadcast brought Lily into the session?" Remus looked over at Sirius and James.

"It's not that we want to hex it's more like…" Sirius looked over at James.

"A game of hide and hexing." James explained.

"Right and if it makes you feel better, we haven't the faintest idea of whom you are so we are just hexing everyone atleast once," Sirius added.

"And oddly, some of them are hexing back…." James rubbed his backside where his had a paper snapdragon charmed after him and it wasn't by Lily.

"UptoNogood ask if we believe in the theory that seven people around the world look like you?" Remus read.

"I am original," Sirius puffed out his chest. "One and only, Sirius Black! That's why the bird adores me."

"And everyone else sigh in relief," James laughed.

"I believe it," Peter answered. "It isn't to be identical but just 'look like' and in that I believe. Some face structure. Some haircut. Maybe shape and size, why not?"

"I am going to agree with Peter on this one," Remus told them.

"Yeah, me too. I think everyone looks like someone," James agreed.

"Truly sorry but we are going to have to rush this, morning is about to wake up." James picked up the letter, "Tingtangwalawala ask if we have ever tried to hex the students in slow motions."

"We have, indeed! Even mentioned it being one of our favourite pranks," Sirius answered.

"Which is Your favorite fruit? Mine is an apple," James answered.

"Plums!" Sirius shouted.

"Oh!" Peter raised his hand, "Watermelon!"

"I like berries," Remus answered.

"What is your dirty-little-secret, Ting is asking of us. Well," James looked at his friends. "We all know our secrets. I for one never put the toilet seat down. After all, I had to put it up, didn't I?"

"And I wipe my mouth with my sleeve," Peter looked sheepishly. "This lot keeps ribbing me about it."

"I usually have melted chocolate somewhere on my sheets and yeah, they have ribbed me about that too," Remus rolled his eyes as James and Sirius held their noses and waved the air in front of them.

"Next question is, do we like sushi!" James asked the group. "I do but not as a favourite, mind."

"I can eat it or leave it," Sirius answered.

"I don't like it at all," Remus wrinkled his nose.

"I do!" Peter raised his hand, again.

"Moving right along our next set of questions belongs to Elizabeth. She would like to know, what are our favourite songs within our world and within the Muggle world. See here!" James bounced from his bed to his feet, pointing at the parchment. "This proves how crazy the female gender has become. She goes on about some nonsense of how Sirius is sweet. Sweet! Our Sirius! She's mad."

"It pleases me to no end that you have such high respects of myself structure," Sirius eyed James.

"Blah," James waved his hand in Sirius direction. "Continuing, um…well, she says that she is sorry that she has missed a few of our broadcast…"

"Looks as if we had missed a few of our own too," Peter shrugged.

"And that her brother had a birthday and she hadn't a clue what to get him," James went on.

"Play Dough is the best for any ages," Sirius pointed a finger in the air. "Note it. Remember it. When in doubt, you will always know what to get here and after."

"She goes on to address Reggie the Veggie on how not to trust Sirius if less than a twenty meter radius but it's okay to trust Remus and Evans wouldn't let me be too horrible. The problem with that is Evans isn't always around. I have taken notice to that!" James pointed out.

"What about me? Does she tell him not to trust me too?" Peter stepped on his toes in order to peer over James' shoulder to look at the letter.

"No, there isn't anything about you." James shook his head as he spoke, flipping the letter around to see if anything was written on the other side. "Nothing at all, I'm afraid."

"So she wants to know about our music style?" Remus asked. "Have you ever heard of 'Hot Liquorice' by Dick Walters? No? You should listen to it as I am sure you will agree it is a marvellous fun tune that I use time to time when tutoring younger students."

"Or as we three like to say," Sirius pointed to James and Peter. "Torturing younger students."

"Hot Liquorice is ridiculously fun to have playing in the background," Peter mused. "Muggle Music there."

"Troll Cats aren't bad," Sirius added. "Vampire Iggy has a decent band."

"Gorillaz! Murdoc is just bloody amazing!" James bounced on his bed to mimic Murdoc with the bass.

"While James entertains himself, our next post is from 'Moonuniversal'. Universal's question is for Remus, 'Have you ever tried meditation? You know it might help with your furry problem, though if you haven't you can get a book about it. Meditation can help you be more in control, relax, and get in touch with that little problem and compromise. Remus if only you can accept who you are it would be allot easier. Don't read this part out loud I will give you some advice. Your actions make you who you are, not what you are. Oh and I'll send some chocolate for you!"

"You shouldn't have done that," James had moved off his bed and now sat next to Sirius. He pointed to the special line on the parchment. "When it says 'don't read out loud' you aren't supposed to do it. It is probably a curse. Most likely, it is a baldness curse. Your hair is going to die now."

Sirius shoved James hard enough for Prongs to fall upon the floor. "It isn't a curse but how else was I to tell him what it said if I didn't read it?"

"Hand it to him? It is what I would have done," Peter mumbled.

"We all tried meditation together. A group therapy," James picked himself off the floor and dust the back of his trousers. "Had bit of a case of the hiccups. About four weeks it lasted. I'm sure it was a hex but no one is willing to own up to it. Bloody annoying. It was recommended that I sat down for a long session of meditation."

"I think Professor Kettleburn just wanted you to sit for a spell," Remus told James. "You were oddly hyper, meaning more so than normal. Evan I was finding you a bit annoying and I like you."

"I'm not hyperactive and I don't understand why people keep telling me that I am," James looked over at Sirius for support but the boy just stared back with his brows raised.

Peter grinned, "When James' says long session, he really means five minutes."

"We all sat with him and went through the meditation," Sirius admitted. "Which I actually didn't mind but it didn't help Remus' rabbit at all."

"Moonuniversal does give out sound advice it appears," Remus frowned and knit his brows together. "However my problem cannot be helped that way. Believe me, I have tried everything. Still I thank you for the encouragement and I think all we can do is have hope that one day, there will be a cure."

"Or everyone will have the same problem and it shall be declared normal," James winked.

"I hate it when you make light of the situation," Remus frowned deepened at James' smile.

"What else am I to do? Sit and mope around saying how life screws good people over?" James asked. "It won't get me far in life, would it? And I shall be great. A witch with the gift once said that there will be a statue made in my honour."

"And you believe that nonsense?" Sirius asked.

"Not all but the statue does seem quite believable if you ask me," James told him, very seriously.

"Last post is from ImNotOkay, which I worry about the name." Peter folded his legs under him. "Are you really not okay?"

"Don't play the physiatrist, Pete. ImNotOkay says sends thanks out to FamousNoOne for having Remus answer the forgotten question…"

"I over looked it, I am sorry!" Remus covered is face with his hands.

"And wanted to know if we attended the party? And if you did, was it fun? As she ended up falling in the lake and spent the weekend in the infirmary, sick. She is fine now, though." Sirius read. "Was that not the Saint Paddy day party? I believe it was and so long ago! I feel terrible now for the great delay in our broadcast!"

"We are doing it now and yes, that was the party and yes it was very much fun. Sorry you had to miss it. We sent you bubble potion to pass the time away," James said. "Also play dough."

"I like the smell of play dough," Peter admitted.

All boys agreed with a nod of their head.

"My date with Lily went well. We are to go again. Once she is done healing that is….from falling down the stairs…I left my quaffle ball near the stairs." James blushed. "So, Remus she would like to know if you have heard of Percy Jackson?"

"Yes. Poseidon's son. Great stories and I'm interested in the next film if they ever get about doing it," Remus smiled.

"And Sirius, do you think you would ever be on good terms with Regulus again?" James asked.

"No. I got myself a new and better brother," Sirius nodded in James' direction.

"Still Sirius' question, this is about Andromeda being your favourite cousin and wish to know if this is correct," James asked.

"Yes," Sirius admitted. "She is currently one of my favourites though at one time I thought she would turn her back on me as well but I realised she was going through some similar things."

"Peter. It is your turn. A simple question. A friend of Imnotokay wishes to know if you are free next week? She wishes to remain anonymous for now." James looked over at Peter.

"S-she wants to know about me?" Peter smiled.

"Probably to get you along so she can hex you until you soil your pants," James told him. "But that's just a guess."

"O-oh," Peter frowned not worried that he might be right.

"I'm sure it is for good reasons," Remus shot a glare at James.

"Target practice of an upcoming test in defence maybe," James added.

"I-I don't think I have anything planned at this time but with this lot, detention is never out of the question," Peter answered honestly.

"Now we get to enjoy a box of cookies from Imnotokay! We thank you!" James held up the box of cookies just as Sirius tackled him, spilling them across the floor. Don't worry, they'll still find them fit enough to eat.

"We thank everyone for the post. For accepting our apology of our tardiness and the birthday cakes for James and Remus as well as the April Fools Potion that Peter used against us! Cheers!" Remus turned the mic off. "I get that cookie with the extra chocolate!"

* * *

Note: Remember to send Lily, Tracy, Alice and Marlene questions and continue to send the Marauders! Keep up the great work my wonderful viewers! I love hearing all the creativity you lot have!


	29. Girls Hosting the Broadcasting show

Broad Casting Live From Hogwarts

Presented by: FamousNoOne

* * *

The Girls Host Broadcast Live!

"Well, hello there, lovelies, and thanks for tuning in to our version of Broadcast Live!" Tracy said into the mic, which was currently resting on her bedside table in their Gryffindor dorm. The girls were all seated on Tracy's and Lily's beds.

"We picked a great night to do this, too. None of the Marauders have detention tonight, so they actually get to tune in and listen. Hello, boys!" Marlene said, waving at the mic. She knew they couldn't see her, but she liked to pretend.

"Let's get started, shall we?" asked Alice. Lily nodded and read the first letter.

"This is from… Marauders4u! Well, hello, boss!" Lily greeted the author of the story. "Our lovely friend would like for us to guess which Marauder wrote which question."

"Oh, this is going to be hard," Alice stated. The girls nodded in agreement.

"First question is, 'Would you sympathize for a naturally non-sympathetic person, if that person did a sympathetic favor for you?' And it sounds like it may be Potter. He tends to phrase things in quite a confusing way. Agree?" There are nods all around. "Lovely. Anyway, I would like to hope that I would sympathize, but I probably wouldn't. I'm known to hold a grudge."

"I think I would, yes. But I would still be upset with them," Tracy answered.

Marlene snorted. "I wouldn't. If they treat me like crap all the time, I'm not going to forgive everything just because they do one nice thing." Alice shook her head.

"That's not fair, Marlene. You should always try to be nice to people, even if they may not always return the favor," Alice chastised.

"That's your opinion, Alice. You're a nicer person than I am," Marlene replied, crossing her arms. "Next question."

"'Why are girls so complicated?'" Lily read, and then looked up at her fellow girls.

"Sounds like Peter," Alice said. "He's usually worried about the opposite sex."

"I agree," Marlene said. "As for the answer, it's because we want what we want when we want it. Get over it."

"I don't think that's quite right, Marlene," Tracy said. "I don't think any of us are complicated. Once you get to know the other person, it's quite easy to discern what they want." Marlene rolled her eyes.

Lily sat up a little straighter. "Just because boys don't understand us doesn't mean we're complicated. I kind of agree with Marlene in that we are often stubborn in what we want, but guys are just as complicated."

"Yeah," Alice said, nodding. "I feel like boys and girls both seem complicated to the opposite sex because we're always trying to please one another and we often find that we can't do that. However, I don't think any of us are really all that complicated."

Marlene looked at Alice with a look of awe. "Way to go, Alice. That… That was pretty inspirational."

"Thanks," Alice smiled.

"Alright, this is getting too deep. Next question, please, Lily," Tracy suggested. Lily nodded.

"'Evans, James would like me to ask you if you believe in Eco-friendly body heating as a way to save natural gases.' Oh, you have got to be kidding me. No, Sirius. I don't. And tell Potter to bugger off. The next question is 'Why is there something rather than nothing?' That sounds like Remus."

"I agree. Very intellectual," Marlene said. "But where would the nothing go if the something is always in its way? Riddle me that, Lupin!" The other girls laughed, surprised that Marlene might get one up on Remus.

"I think that's it for that question," Tracy laughed. "You're in for it, Remus." Alice giggled.

"Next question coming up," Lily stated before continuing. "'What is the greatest thing a man can do for a woman?' Wow. Who is that?"

"Pete? He's always trying to please the ladies," Tracy offered.

"They're all doing that, Hartfield," Marlene said.

"True," Alice put in. "I think it's James. He just wants Lily's answer so he can make her happy."

"Alright, boys. You stumped us on this one," Lily said. "But we'll get you back."

"Anyway, as for your answer, I think the best thing a man can do for a woman is to listen to her when she needs it," Alice said. Marlene laughed.

"Good answer, but not the one that came to my mind. Which I won't be saying aloud," she said.

Lily snorted. "Of course you aren't. I think the greatest thing a man can do for a woman is be there for her when she needs something. Even if it's just a laugh."

"I agree, but I think the most important thing is to care for her. If you don't show her you care, you're letting her down," Tracy stated. The rest of the girls nodded.

"Wow, I never thought we'd be that group of girls that gets all 'mushy boy talk' during our sleepovers," Marlene said. Lily giggled.

"Hey, we need some good girl talk once in a while. Keeping all this in can't be good for our health," Lily laughed. Tracy shook her head.

"No, but should we really be doing it for all of Hogwarts to hear?" she questioned.

"The boys do it every week. We can do it for one night," Alice suggested.

"True…. Well, next question, Lily Flower!" Tracy said, using the dreaded nickname. Lily shot her a glare before reading.

"'What is the greatest thing a person can do for another?'"

"That's Remus. He's the most caring one of them," Alice said. "And I think the four of us can agree that the answer to that is the same thing as before. Care for them. People need to know they're loved." There are sounds of agreement from the rest of the girls.

"Alright! Next question! 'One or the other: Swim in a pond of blood suckers or knowingly eat a soup of blood suckers.' Sounds like Black. Any other suggestions?"

"James?" Tracy asked. "Either one of them are sadistic enough to do it." Alice giggled and nodded.

"Who cares who asked it? The question is messed up period. And I would rather swim. I couldn't eat soup with… things… in it," Marlene said as she shuddered.

Tracy nodded as Lily and Alice ran to the window, gagging. "I agree. Plus, if you ate them, they would be inside you and you couldn't peel them off. It's easier to swim with them than to eat them." Alice heaved.

"Hmm. Didn't know they had such weak stomachs," Marlene murmured. Once the girls were finished, Lily walked over and picked up the paper and cleared her throat.

"Last question. 'Favourite moment in life?' Sounds like Remus. Agree?" The girls nodded. "Alright. My favourite moment is when I got my got acceptance to Hogwarts. I knew I was different, and when the letter came, I finally had a place where my oddities wouldn't be noticed."

"I agree. That's my favourite as well," Alice said.

"Mine is probably a tie between getting my acceptance letter and getting ten 'Outstandings' on my O.W.L.s." Tracy said.

"I'd like to agree with Lily, but I knew where I belonged. I feel like my favourite moment would have to be when I got an 'Outstanding' on my Arithmancy O.W.L. I studied forever for that stupid test."

"And it worked. Maybe you should study more," Alice suggested with a sarcastic smile. Marlene laughed and threw a pillow at the girl.

"Can I read next?" Alice asked once she had recovered. Lily nodded and handed over the papers.

"Ooh, this letter is from RandomFandom! Hello!" Alice said, waving at the invisible reader. "Random's question is 'What is the most absurd thing that has ever happened to you?' Ha! Good question."

"When I was six, I made sparks shoot out of my cat's butt…" Marlene said with a straight face. The girls stared at her. Marlene just stared down at her hands like nothing was wrong. When she looked up, she asked why they were staring at her.

"Why would that happen?!" Tracy asked.

"I was aiming for my cousin. My cat got in the way." That was the last straw for Tracy. She threw her hands up in the air and fell back on her bed.

"My first date with Remus is my thing. Alice?"

"I haven't really had anything absurd happen to me. Well, there was the time that Riley Finnegan blew up my cauldron in Second year… The absurd thing is that I wasn't even in the same room as he was…"

"That is pretty absurd… Mine would be… When I agreed to go on a date with Potter. That was… Man, what was I thinking?"

"That he's one fine piece of man and you wanted some?" Marlene asked, innocently batting her eyelashes at Lily, who turned red and yelled some very not nice words while Tracy and Alice quickly put a Muffliato on Lily and Marlene, who was laughing extremely loud.

Once it was over, Tracy took off the spell and grabbed the papers. "I'll read the next letter, which is from ImNotOkay, whose name worries me. If you'd like to talk, PM FamousNoOne and we'll talk about whatever it is that's bothering you."

"Anyway, first question?" Marlene reminded her.

"Oh, right," Tracy said. "'Is there anyone you like right now?' Lily?"

"Yes. That's all I'm saying on the subject."

"I do, too, but I'm not really sure I should say it over broadcast. He doesn't really know," Alice said, staring down at the sheets.

"I don't really like people that often, but surprisingly enough I find myself attracted to a certain Gryffindor male at the mo'," Marlene said, shocking the rest of the girls. Marlene was never that open about who she actually liked.

"Of course I like someone. Hello, Remus!" Tracy said, waving at her boyfriend, who was nowhere to be seen. "Anyway, next question is 'Lily, how do you REALLY feel towards James?' Well, Lily?"

The redhead was glaring holes into the paper. "I don't feel obliged to answer this question."

Everyone glared at her.

"Fine. I find myself believing that… there could be more to Potter than an arrogant, self-centered, egotistic arse who is only interested in forcing his distorted view of himself down everyone's throat… Happy?"

"Very!" Tracy said. "Next question is 'some of the Hufflepuff girls are having a sleepover in the Room of Requirement, do any of you want to come?' Um, duh! We'll be there! And that's it for ImNotOkay's questions. The next letter is from our wonderful friend, Mary! Hello, love! We miss you! You simply must visit more often! Anyway, Marlene will read your questions," Tracy said, handing Marlene the papers.

"Okay, let's see what she gave us to work with… First question, 'As we know Amortentia smells different for everyone, so here is a small flask of Amortentia (feel free to use it however you want after the question). How does the potion smells for each of you?' Ooh, nice. I'm excited." She took a sniff. "It smells like Sirius Black. How odd…"

The girls gave her a questioning look, but Alice saved her by answering. "Parchment and cotton, for me. Lily?"

"To me, it smells like custard and… Well, if I told you everything, we'd have nothing to talk about later, would we?" Lily's face then turned redder than her hair and she put her head in her hands.

"Well… Erm, I'm getting a very woodsy smell. Like pine and decaying leaves and fresh air. Next question, Marlene?" The dark haired girl's head snapped up from her Amortentia and she raised an eyebrow. "The questions?"

"Oh, right!" Marlene squeaked. "Erm, the next question is 'Would you mind telling which has been your best date? How about the worst one?' Ha. I don't think I've ever been on a proper date. But I have snogged a few people. My best snog was with a Gryffindor. Worst with a Puff. That's all you need to know."

"My best and worst dates are all in one. My first date with Remus. It was lovely, even though the rest of the Marauders crashed it. If you would like to hear about it, FamousNoOne wrote about it. It's called 'My Date with Remus Lupin'." Tracy answered, smiling at the memories.

"I've only had a bad date. The only date I went on. The guy talked about his ex the entire time and even ended up sobbing by the end. Terrible," Alice answered, laughing. "I'm hoping for a good date soon."

"I suppose my double date with Potter, Sirius, and Star wasn't that bad," Lily said. "Though Star did seem rather clingy." Marlene huffed. "And I haven't really had any bad dates. So… Yeah."

"Well, that's it," Marlene said. "This was fun, even though only a few people sent us questions."

"We'd like to thank everyone who did send in questions," said Alice.

"And Marauders4u for letting us host!" Lily added.

"And FamousNoOne for documenting it," Tracy threw in. "We'll see you all later! Have a wonderful day!"

* * *

Note: A wonderful chapter completed by FamousNoOne. I personally thought she did a great job though she does not and be sure the boys will discuss some of those answers in their broadcast coming soon. Please send thanks to FamousNoOne. Personally, I think she should do a spin off with the girls. If anyone else is interested in hosting a chapter - It can happen!


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